A Blessing

Praise be to the God and Father of our Lord Jesus Christ, the Father of compassion and the God of all comfort, who comforts us in all our troubles, so that we can comfort those in any trouble with the comfort we ourselves have received from God. For just as the sufferings of Christ flow over into our lives, so also through Christ our comfort overflows.
~ 1 Corinthians 1:3-5 ~

As I shared a few posts back, I just went through a time of pretty intense spiritual attack. Thought it would literally kill me. At the conclusion of it, God promised me that during the remainder of my desert, I would not be permitted to undergo that intense of an attack again. It was the best news I'd heard the whole time I'd been in the desert.

The part I should have paid attention to was the part that said "that intense of an attack." I let my guard down just a bit and last night I felt a little nipping at my heels. I knew who it was and I was not about to let him stay around.

Today was a little rough. Had to request prayer reinforcements a couple of times. Cried a couple of times. And yet had a beautiful time of prayer tonight during my workout.

Tonight I also had the opportunity to talk to someone who is hurting. Badly. I recognized so many sentences that came across my computer screen and my heart ached for the hurt being felt. But I was thankful that my time in the desert made me a candidate of understanding. I was thankful to recall what things I loved hearing, what things I hated hearing, and what things I needed to hear whether I wanted to or not.

Pain that serves a purpose is pain well endured. And even though I hate it that another has to hurt...I'm thankful for the way God allowed me to be there for a few minutes of help. He is faithful in all things!

Gather Round....

It's been a day in Bekahland.

I don't think you understand the amount of stuff required to get me...well...anywhere. I'm one of those people who would rather have something and not need it than not have it and wish I did. My purse collection is called "The Mary Poppins Bag" collection. I can't run around with a purse the size of a checkbook. I need the Mary Poppins bag.

An "overnight bag" is a suitcase. A week's travel requires most of the trunk space. You get the idea.

Because I spent my lunch hour praying today, I had to stop by the gas station for a bite to eat and a 32 ounce caffeine boost. When I returned to work and parked my car, I glanced over at my very full front seat. I elected to walk around to that side to pick it all up and proceed back to my desk. Carefully carrying my keys in my hand (because only an idiot would throw them in the purse and risk locking them in the car), I walked around the car, opened the passenger door, and began assembling the armload.

Backpack (containing a change of clothes for VBS) on the back. Check. Journal, Bible, and plate of lunch stacked according to size in left hand. Check. Coke firmly grasped in right hand. Check.

I'm sorry - did you notice which item was NOT on the list?

Oh yes. The Mary Poppins bag. It was firmly located in the front seat. With the keys inside it. And the phone. And of course...because I'm conscious about such things...the door was locked up tight.

Thank goodness we have campus police! Please note that is a sentence I've never before uttered. Did I mention I'm scared of the police? But oh yes - tis the season for Bekah to conquer her fears! So I got to place the call, meet the man at my car, and apologize profusely while he broke in. :)


Second story of the day.

In our office, we have historically had a bit of an issue with people using "real" dishes and leaving them unwashed in the sink. The piles grew until it became impossible to get water out of the faucet.

We were lovingly admonished to wash our dishes.

The piles grew until it became impossible to get water out of the faucet.

We were strongly cautioned against forgetting to wash our dishes.

The piles grew until it became impossible to get water out of the faucet.

We were sternly warned that if it happened again....

The piles grew until it became impossible to get water out of the faucet.

We were heartily lectured, complete with the punctuation of the Jesus stick thudding against the floor.

Solemnly vowing not to speak another word about dirty dishes (after all - we're ALL adults in there!), our fearless - and tired - leader posted the following sign above the sink:


And like good little worker bees, we....

Well, almost everyone. Today this sight appeared on the counter:

Do you think there's a possibility THIS will be memorable at ALL?

I'm not going to hold my breath.

Ode to June

This evening my brain is too tired to think of anything brilliant. So I bring you a smattering of photos. An eclectic mix of the previously unreported events of my month.


I know what you're thinking. Did you try to build something again, Bekah? Though it may look similar to my construction attempts, I did not, in fact, have anything to do with this. This was a church. Behind it stands the dilapidated shell of its fellowship hall. This is the church where my parents were married. Before I was born, the congregation outgrew the building and they built a new church just a mile or so away. I never got to go inside this building, and I'm guessing it's too late now.


Earlier this month, my "niece," Savannah, celebrated a birthday, so I went over to her house to help with the party. This is not Savannah. This is sweet baby James, her little brother. He was the most recent childbirth I attended...hard to believe it's been almost a year!

There's so much to ponder about a marshmallow...

...before you give in and eat the thing....

And speaking of marshmallows...have you seen these? The one in the middle is a normal sized marshmallow. The ones on either side are huge marshmallows. Way too much sugar!!

Savannah chose a cheesecake platter for her birthday cake. The girl has some taste! It was yummy. I had the tiniest sliver of one of the chocolate varieties....

Liam tends to become one with the food.....

She's not as easy to hold as she was a few years back, but this is me with the birthday girl!

I wrote about Father's Day but never posted any pictures. I rallied from my desert long enough to make some peanut butter fudge. Dad, as you can see, didn't really bother with a knife and fork.

Remember the Lowe's card I bought him? And they didn't have a Father's Day version?

I nearly didn't post this - because I look like death warmed over. But it's so rare that Mom takes a photo where all subjects still have their heads...I felt compelled to share.

And in other news, I've been helping with VBS at my church. This MAY be one of the worst pictures ever taken of me. I was studying my lesson one more time while another activity went on....I clearly had not heard of a hairbrush...and GOODNESS - look at that sunburned part!

Our memory verse for the last two days....I love the way kids recite memory verses. YOU KNOW! THE WAY THEY SHOUT THEM VERY SLOWLY??

A NEWWWWWW COMMAND I GIVE YOU. LUUUUUUUV ONE ANOTHER.....

Thoughts from the Word Nerd...

I’m a word nerd. I’ll admit it. The most recent Bible I purchased was a word study Bible. I may never get another Bible again. (Don’t hold me to that.)

This weekend, I sat on the deck of my friends’ lake house, overlooking the water, scribbling furiously in my Sunday School book. I’d just read through the first part of John 15, where Jesus talked about the importance of remaining connected to God the Father. Given that repetition is one of the techniques God has used most with me in recent weeks, I am a little extra aware of it right now. And as I read through those first few verses, I noticed that some form of the word remain appeared nine times.

Nine.

I think that makes it worth noting.

One of the questions in the Sunday School book invited me to put in my “own words” what it means to remain. My own words? Forget that! I’ll just flip to the back of the Bible and see what the good old original language has to say.

Couldn’t believe what I found.

Here were the words used to define remain: dwell, endure, persevere, stand firm, remain alive, wait for.

I will admit to you that prior to this desert journey, I was very fickle about remaining connected to the Father. I’d go running to God when I had a problem…but I’d run right back to my own plan once trouble seemed a safe distance away. Well let me just tell you – a desert takes your breath away, and not in a good way. Remaining became the only way I could breathe.

But as I read through those defining words, I recognized the progress of my journey.

Dwell: I’ve been in this season of life for two months and one week. It has become a dwelling. It has become the place I’ve lived. Every piece of my life for those weeks has taken place in the desert. I didn’t get a vacation from it. Not even a weekend. I learned to remain by dwelling here. And while I know God doesn’t want me to build a house in the desert and dwell here forever, He specifically cautioned me against forgetting what I learned about dwelling here. When I move on to dwell in the Promised Land, I will again remain even though my dwelling place has changed.

Endure: That is a good word to explain many of the early days. I used to wake up and start counting the hours until I went to bed again. I endured work. I endured exercise. I endured one emotional and spiritual storm after another. I endured household chores. I endured obligations I’d made before I entered a desert. I endured. And in enduring, I learned to remain in the Lord. It was the only way I could endure.

Persevere: There were days when sheer grit and willpower moved me from point A to point B. I had to literally set my jaw, clinch my fists and make a conscious (and not always particularly gracious) choice to remain. Learning was hard. I didn’t want to learn. I just wanted to be done. I didn’t want to be an example – good or otherwise. I just wanted fixed. But in my determination, I remained in my resolve to be found faithful.


Stand firm. As time went along, I found my remaining was more of a desire than a discipline. Through determining to remain, I actually gained footing. The storms still hit me – furiously. But I had gained some strength and I remained in His will with great firmness.

Remain alive. At one point in the journey, God gave me the grace to start slowly living again. Remaining no longer required every ounce of concentration just to breathe or hold my ground. Remaining became a way of life. I could eat almost a whole meal …or walk an extra mile…or make my bed…or unload the dishwasher…or sleep until the alarm sounded just like old times. Except this time, I prayed while I did those things. I still remained. But I added the life back into it.

Wait for. Beth Moore writes about waiting not with drudgery…but with great hope and great expectation. And so as I remain, I do so while waiting for God to keep His promises. It’s actually really exciting! I can’t wait to see how He does it!

I probably will cycle through all these pieces of remaining again and again throughout my life. But I love knowing that whether I’m enduring or waiting with hope, I can be connected to His Spirit in a newer, deeper way.

Lovin' the Water

I love the water. I really do.

I have some good friends who have a place at the lake, and they are so generous to invite me to visit now and then. I called Mom on the way home tonight and said, "This is the greatest gig I have...the chance to visit the lake!"

This was my first time to spend the night at the lake, and I went with car packed (a.k.a. too much luggage for overnight). Just had the best time!! Here's a peek at my weekend.

Last night after we all arrived, we went out on the boat. Here I am with my friend Ronda. She has been such a blessing to me in recent weeks. (Well for much longer than that, but especially in recent weeks.) She always just makes me feel like part of the family!!


We took a slow boat ride around the lake, and I found this little cottage. I have no idea who lives there, but I thought it was as darling as could be.

Ronda's son, Jonathan, went skiing last night. He wanted me to ski. I'll pause for you to laugh as hysterically as I did at that very thought. I asked him if he'd rather spend his evening on the water or in the emergency room. :)

On our way back to their place, we saw this gorgeous moon!

Woke up this morning to rain falling on the roof. (Better than through the roof, no?) Though not a fan of rain or storms, I admit it was pleasant to awaken to that gentle sound at the lake. And though I was up much earlier than I normally am on a Saturday, it was so sweet to curl up to the lake view, coffee in hand, and journal. What a beautiful time!

Remember when I wrote about McGee's boat launch and the scary tunnel of spiders? This is the tunnel. We had to go through it to the other side of the road. (Shiver.) We did NOT have to do that this time...praise the LORD!

I know y'all are going to call me crazy for this, but I'm serious...I can hear God ever that much clearer on the lake. It's true. We parked at the swimming hole for a while and I hunkered down to write. Loved hearing His whisper over the water...

I adamantly refused to get in the lake. I didn't want my hair to get messed up, but that argument didn't last long once I remembered I never did my hair today. Woops. I really am much more of a pool girl than a lake girl in swimming because seaweed and sea creatures give me the heebie jeebies. And while I can "swimmish" - I can't really swim, and that was necessary at this location. I gave in to sitting on the back of the boat to dangle my legs....

Look who caved to peer pressure.

Today Jonathan practiced his wakeboarding skills. He really improved a lot over just the course of today! I was impressed. Last time I was on the boat, I was only in charge of taking pictures. This time, my skills increased. I took lots of pictures (you have to do that with this sports stuff or you never get a good one), but I also had to learn the signs for "faster," "slower," and "just right" to relay them from Jonathan to his mom while she drove. That took some tweaking. And by tweaking I mean epic failures of translation. I also learned how to help check ropes for knots, slide skis across water, retrieve a wakeboard out of the water without scratching the boat, and help guide the boat into the pier. Whew. That was a lot to learn in one weekend!

Little one-handed trick. I couldn't do it with two hands and an army of angels. That's why I take pictures.

This picture is blurry because I had the zoom too far out and couldn't find him in time to focus! But this was at the end of the last boat ride today, and was when he let go and just skimmed across the water for a while.

The weekend was so much fun...I thoroughly enjoyed my visit. Wish I could have stayed through until tomorrow but I needed to get back for church. Thanks for letting me visit (and cook for you!!)...I had a blast!

Through

You know my undying love for all things Gaither. :)

So it really shouldn't shock you that many of their songs have been soothing to me on this journey. This week I was in the car and had the "Give it Away" CD blaring at full blast. I can't remember now what song I'd wanted to hear that made me put it in the player, but I happened upon the song Through. (That's the whole name of the song.)

I will confess to you: I've never liked Through. Always skipped past it. But this week I decided to listen to it.

Check out these words:

When I saw what lay before me,
"Lord," I cried, "what will you do?"
I thought He would just remove it,
but He gently led me through.
Without fire, there's no refining,
Without pain, no relief.
Without flood there's no rescue;
Without testing, no belief.


Through the fire, through the flood,
through the water, through the blood,
Through the dry and barren places,
through life's dense and madd'ning mazes;
Through the pain and through the glory,
I will always tell the story
of a God whose pow'r and mercy
will not fail to take us through.

Goose bumps, right?? But when emailing my friend Julie about it later...she emailed me the lyrics, and it turns out there's a second verse that's not on the CD:


I know He could part the waters,
At His voice, a mountain move;
But His love would crowd me to Him-
Through my need His presence prove.
Come, my child, I'll take you through it;
When you faint, I'll carry you.
Cast on Me your fear and weakness -
Trust My heart; I'll take you through.


I probably don't need to explain to you how I cried over that verse. How many times did I ask nicely...beg pitifully...demand disrespectfully...for God to FIX THIS in my life? But that line about His love crowding me to Him is about the best picture of my recent life I can think to paint.

He's taken me through. I'm just waiting for His signal to exit into the Promised Land. All the way through to the Promised Land.

Well THAT Was Lotsa Fun

** If you missed yesterday's post...please, oh please, oh please...scroll down and read it. I'm so excited about the faith boost God sent to my heart and I'd love for you to share in it too! **



I was writing that post about 9:30 last night, and when I was almost done, I heard a storm rolling in. We've had more than our fair share of storms this summer, and I've grown weary of them. That thing hadn't been here more than ten minutes when the power went out.

For good.

In case you're wondering what happens in Bekahland when the power's out from 10 p.m. to 1 a.m., please do continue reading.

· I began to sweat because of the lack of air conditioning, and I couldn't open a window because it was raining. Literally from all sides.

· Finally opened a window anyway because I was annoyed with the excessive heat. Braeya crawled in the partially opened window and promptly blocked all cool air.

· I realized I only had one bar of power left on my phone – which had been promoted to my alarm clock since alarm 1 and alarm 2 require electricity.

· So....I fiddled with a battery operated decorative clock I have – which does happen to have an alarm on it – as a backup.

· After successfully setting it, I realized I had no idea if the battery in said clock was fresh enough to keep actual time.

· Consequently I began stressing about what to do if the phone died and the battery clock wasn’t right. I am NOT one of those people who just "wakes up" in the morning. Left to my own devices I won't notice the light of day until at least 11:00.

· Deciding that the power would not be back on during any decent hour, I turned off all the lights I could remember being on so when the power did return, everything would be as it should.

· Laid down on a sheetless bed because after (more than I’ll admit) weeks of not having washed them, I picked last night to do so and they weren’t dry yet. Of course.

· Got back up to check the open windowsill for rain and saw that the gas station down the street had power. I texted a friend thinking maybe he had power and I could go over there for a while. But he was out of town at his sister's. She had power. Lotta good THAT did me.

· I proceeded to complain to him via text for a while and ended with “It’s a blessed good thing I like to pray.”

· Decided to actually pray since I couldn’t do anything else.

· While praying, I remembered I had planned to do my nails. That doesn’t require electricity. Found the flashlight and did my nails.

· Then I had to turn off the flashlight because it was too hot.

· Decided to return to praying.

· While praying, the sheetless bed began to get very hot, so I decided to get down on my “God rug” to sleep, thinking the floor would surely be cooler. Of course it's also hardwood. Oh well. Can't win 'em all.

· After a couple of minutes, I got up to hide the battery clock in the bathroom because the ticking was keeping me awake and there was no fan to drown it out.

· Fell asleep.

· Woke up to a text from a friend asking if I was okay. Okay in body, yes. Dreadfully annoyed in spirit.

· Fell asleep.

· Woke up to the power coming on, which led me to rush to the air conditioner to get that going.

· I checked through the vent to see if the lights downstairs were indeed off. They were. (Except not really. I forgot the vent was closed. LOL!!! Found out this morning I had a well lit house!)

· With the air back in working order, I moved back to the bed. Opened the laptop. Posted the blog I'd not been able to finish prior to the outage and checked Facebook.

· Went back to sleep at 2. IN THE MORNING.

· All alarms worked. WAY TOO SOON.

When God Grants a Glimpse...

I am honestly so filled with awe right now, I can barely stand it. If I could write this post any faster, I would. But I want to be careful about my words, so I'm forcing myself to take deep breaths...and t-y-p-e...s-l-o-w-l-y.



At this point in time I still do not feel free to share with you specific details of this desert journey I've been on...I'm still on. But tonight God granted me the most beautiful glimpse into this season of my life. I sat and cried (shocker!) at the sheer wonder of it.



For several years now, I've kept a prayer journal and it's rare for me to share a peek of it with anyone because it's just so intimate. But I'm going to be brave and extract a few parts for you tonight because I want you to know that our Great God is at work. And if He's doing this in me, I know He could be up to something just as big in you!



** Side note - I'm a HUGE fan of a prayer journal for this very reason. Had I not written some of this stuff, everything God revealed to me tonight would have been completely lost to me because I didn't remember most of this. **



2.17.10: Streams in the Desert says, "He meets you today in the present and tests your faith. As long as you are waiting, hoping, or looking, you are not believing. You may have hope or an earnest desire, but that is not faith." Lord, I know my faith is not what it could be. Truth be told, I'm a bit scared to ask for help with it. What might it mean? Oh...if I only knew then what He was about to do...the "bit scared" part was warranted!



2.19.10: The Streams devo from yesterday (which I didn't read until today) talks about that kind of bold faith..."in due time faith becomes sight." Oh, God, why Can't I develop this? Show me! Help me! I had no idea what I was inviting Him to do.



2.20.10: The prayer book talks about the pray-ers of the Bible and says, "They established an identity for themselves - an identity God wanted them to establish." YES! Show me what You desire me to establish. Streams has such appropriate words for the path... "It is possible to have our thoughts and the desires of our hearts purified in the deepest sense of the word...we will never be satisfied with anything less." Oh God, please manifest this in me! Would I have said it if I knew how it would manifest?



2.21.10: Tonight I prayed through those verses for Chelsea...and I loved it. Oh how I've missed that kind of prayer with You. He was about to bring back that sort of intimacy...I'm scared Satan is about to unload...And unload he did. With a fervency I've never seen.



2.25.10: Streams says: "The land of God's promises is open before us, and it is His will for us to possess it. We must measure off the territory with the feet of obedient faith and faithful obedience, thereby claiming and appropriating it as our own. How many of us have ever taken possession of the promises of God in the name of Christ?" God, show me my land. Prepare the way before me. And how He has. How He is! Not in the way I would have chosen, but He has been doing it, regardless.



2.26.10 Angela Thomas' book says, "Redemption is when God takes something that seems to have no value or even seems to be a liability and exchanges it for something beautiful." Redeem me, Jesus! Redeem the ashes of my life. I had no idea He was about to do just that.



3.5.10 Today's Streams says, 'The greatest challenge in receiving great things from God is holding on for the last half hour." God, please help me to persevere...do not let me mess this up with my fears. Help me to find deep trust. Deep trust is often found in a deep valley.



3.15.10 I'm counting on You, God, to have a glorious purpose in all this! Help me to achieve balance. Help me to depend on You. Change me. Mold me. I think that one is fairly self explanatory.



3.23.10 It's so hard...God, and yet I cherish the way these struggles drive me to Your arms...this time has a plan, too. A purpose. And I don't want to miss that in my haste. If I thought I was being driven into the arms of God then....



3.28.10 Teach me...gentleness and tenderness and patience...Raise me up...Why, oh why, oh why did I pray for patience? :) And I had no idea what would be required for me to actually grasp gentleness and tenderness.



3.31.10 I don't even have words. Intercede for me, Jesus...please. And He has been. I had no idea how much He would....



4.3.10 Teach me, Lord. I can't sleep...Help me to release...to You. Help me to release control...You see what I need in my heart and life...This prayer, more than any of the others (and it was much longer, but I had to edit) drove me to tears this evening because this is what God is doing now. RIGHT NOW.



4.13.10 Oh Jesus, I want to have Your confidence. I want to know who I am in You...I want to be who You made me to be. Help me. Oh Jesus. Help me.



4.15.10 Psalm 57:2 - "I cry out to God Most High, to God, who fulfills His purpose for me." God, please fulfill your purpose...



And then the desert began.



Two months and five days later (that would be today), I was able to sit down and read these days that led up to it. And I could see for the first time...that God is answering every one of those prayers. I had no idea what I was asking. I had no idea what each of those quickly scribbled requests would require to fulfill an answer. I thought God would just wave His mighty arm and align everything "just so" to answer...but instead He brought about a desert. A hot, dry, lonely place of questions and searching....

I am so thankful tonight that I sat down to peek at the early days. To see that each of these days have served a purpose in answering requests I didn't even remember I made.

Sweet Father...hear the rest of my heart's cries....

~ The Lord will fulfill His purpose for me; your love, O Lord, endures forever - do not abandon the works of your hands. ~ Psalm 138:8

On the Lighter Side

Since my last couple of posts have been on the "weightier" side of things, I thought I'd bring a bit of Bekahland humor to you today.

1. Don't even think of judging me for this. You know you've thought it. You might not be tacky enough to say it, but you know you've thought it.

Today at work, I made this sign:

It's the catch phrase one of my co-workers and I use when one of us comes back from the ladies' room and needs to warn the other...

Yeah, you know what I mean! Isn't that the worst? You're walking out of the restroom and finally dare to take a breath...and you meet someone going in and all you can think is, They're going to think it was me!!! Well, we don't have to worry about that now, do we?

2. It's been too long since I told you a good old fashioned Wal Mart story. I braved it last night, and while there, purchased two small, square storage ottomans for my guest room. They were on sale, I needed extra storage, and they'll be good extra seating or footrests for the love seat upon occasion. Since I was in line for a while (you know...only four lanes open and all of them backed up into the aisle...) I decided to be nice and flip one of the ottomans over to have the bar code all ready for the cashier.

When I flipped it over, I thought, Man that is a huge bar code! To illustrate its size, please see the photo below (which was not on its side in my album, but I'm not reposting it...)

When it was at last my turn, the cashier came around and just stared at the ottoman for several seconds. I said, "Is everything okay?" She said, "Well I'm just looking for the bar code."

I don't make this stuff up, people.


She also said, "You have two?" Yes. The one that takes up the back half of my cart and the one that takes up the front half. Those would be the two I have!
3. I should have taken a picture of this, but I didn't think of it. (gasp!) Two weeks ago, during freshman registration, our student worker declared a contest to see which counselor's business cards ran out first. Guess who won?

It's a bittersweet victory, really. The fact that I ran out of cards means that I'm likely to get the most phone calls. But I did win a Milky Way for being the most popular. I gave an acceptance speech and everything.

4. It's been a while since I told a good Wal Mart story. Oh wait. It's only been two points since I did that. But I have another one! Gather round, friends. This is a good'n.

The other night, I had plans to make a dessert for a carry in at work. About 10 p.m., I decided I didn't have the energy for that dessert. I thought of an easier dessert, but I didn't have the ingredients I needed. I am not a fan of going to Wal Mart that late at night, because it's not safe. While I sat there debating safety vs. energy, I got a text from my friend Jonathan. He was at Wal Mart! I texted back and said, "Oh good! If you're there, I'll be safe."

So I drove to Wal Mart, parked at the non-food end and as I walked toward the building, I noticed that entrance was dark. I knew that a while back, Wal Mart started closing one entrance at night, but I thought that didn't start until midnight. I was wrong. Oh well. As I started down toward the open entrance, I noticed an entire family pressed up against the closed doors, peering into the Wal Mart with hands framing their eyes and everything....knocking. KNOCKING!! I laughed right out loud. Are you kidding me? You're knocking on the door of the Wal Mart?

They saw me headed for the other entrance and followed me. I couldn't wait to get in there and tell Jonathan about that one.

Oh but you just wait.

As soon as I found him, he said, "Hey listen to this. I got here and didn't know the non-food end was locked, so that's where I parked, As I was walking toward the building, three college-age guys walked toward me and said, 'Hey man, it's closed. We thought it was 24 hours, but it's closed.' So I pointed at the other door and said, 'Then why are people walking in down there?'"

I cracked up in the middle of Wal-Mart. Two times in less than twenty minutes. Ahhhhh I love that place.

This concludes story time with Bekah. Thanks for listening!

Six a.m. Serenade

I've had a handful of people ask me lately what I mean when I say, "God told me..." (fill in the blank).

The art of learning to hear God's voice is something I'm not entirely sure how to describe. Part of that is because I have to really think back to when I first started hearing Him, and then I have to try to think about the process I went through in comprehending that those things were His way of speaking to me. Part of my inability to express it is also because I don't think He speaks the same way to everyone. Things that grab my attention could be completely lost to you, just like I might not even notice something that knocks you off your feet.

But because this question has come up so much lately, I've tried to be even more aware of how I hear God speak, so I can give an answer when I'm asked.

For me, music is a big part of God's voice. I spend a lot of time listening to music (remember when I went through the 40 days of Lent with no music in my car? WHEW!) and as a result those words become a powerful speaker for God to me.

One of the most beautiful parts of this desert journey has been the implementation of the six a.m. serenade. Now y'all know I don't like mornings. And prior to my desert, God and I rarely (okay never) spoke before, oh....noon. But that has so changed. I cannot get out of bed without reading something...my devotional book or a passage of Scripture or a blog about God moving in someone else's life...and journaling. I'll risk being late to work before I'll skip that time now. And one of the reasons I must journal is because of the serenade.

Because I hate mornings so much, I can't bear to awaken to the BEEP BEEP BEEP of an alarm, so the radio is my wake up call. I have it tuned to a Christian station, and a few weeks ago, I noticed that the songs that awakened me each morning were perfect for that day. No matter what I felt when I woke up - the song spoke to it. My co-worker, Judy, started calling it my serenade. I loved that. You will never convince me that God's Hand hasn't been guiding the program director at WBCL.

My favorite day was June 12th. It was a Saturday - the same Saturday that God sent me that amazing object lesson of being held and rocked and learning to be still....and know that HE is God.

I awakened to a song by Josh Wilson, called "Before the Morning." I'd heard it during several other serenades, but that morning, the specific line playing when the alarm went off was this: The pain that you've been feeling is just the dark before the morning.

In typical Bekah-fashion, I hit snooze, and nine minutes later, I awakened to Mandisa singing "He is With You." Specifically the words blaring into my bedroom were, We may weep for a time but joy will come in the morning!

I thought to myself, "Didn't I just hear something kind of like that?" Thinking I was just tired, I hit snooze again. Nine minutes later, Fee sang these words from "Everything Falls" - Sorrow will last for the night, but hope is rising with the sun. It's rising with the sun. There will be storms in this life, but I know you will overcome. You have overcome.

And that's when I knew for sure it was God. When the same general line came in three consecutive snoozes, that wasn't anything but God.

Oh Jesus...bring the morning.






~ For his anger lasts only a moment, but his favor lasts a lifetime; weeping may remain for a night, but rejoicing comes in the morning. ~ Psalm 30:5

The Father's Lap...

Happy Father’s Day! I had lunch at my parents’ house, where I presented my Dad with a gift card to Lowe’s. Of course Lowe’s didn’t have any Father’s Day gift cards, so I got him one that said “Just Married.” Fortunately, Dad is a good sport, so he found the humor in it.

Because he’s a good sport, I’m pretty sure he won’t mind that I’m choosing to talk about my other Father today…

God is good.

I read on Beth Moore’s blog this week, “God is so busy restoring the years the locusts have eaten in her life that, if He weren’t omnipotent, He’d honestly have no time for the rest of us.” It’s kind of how I feel about my life right now. I am taking up so much of His time that if He weren’t omnipotent, y’all might be out of luck.

Dozens – even hundreds – of times each day, I find myself whispering His name. Sometimes, and I do try to reserve these times for when I’m safely home alone or in my car alone, that whisper evolves into a bit of a yell. But He can hear both and He does. You have no idea the times I’ve cried out His name and the response is a very gentle, I’m right here…be still…trust Me.

One of my favorite places to pray lately has been the rug in my bedroom. I have a hardwood floor, and a few years ago, Mom and Dad gave me an extra rug they had so the chilly winter mornings would be a little bit more bearable in the world of cold floors. The rug is at the end of my bed, and a few weeks back, it became the location of a significant spiritual victory.

For a week and a half, Satan chased me relentlessly. I don’t understand too much about spiritual warfare, but I have a healthy respect for its reality. All I know is for that week and a half, he didn’t leave me alone for one second. I quoted Scripture and prayed and did everything I knew to do. Finally, one night, I knelt down on that rug and gripped the edge of it until my knuckles turned white. I was crying so hard I could barely breathe, and after starting a few dozen sentences I couldn’t finish, I declared “I choose YOU!” I didn’t know what God wanted of me, but whatever it was had to be better than this torment.

Somehow I finished out that evening and when I awakened the next morning, I sort of peeked out through one eye to see if that suffocating feeling was still there. It wasn’t. And I knew in that moment, that battle had been won. Later that day, God whispered to my heart that I was right. Victory burst forth on that piece of tan carpeting at the end of my bed. I still don’t know what victory it was, but victory happened. God also told me that for the rest of this desert journey I walk, Satan will not be allowed to get at me that way again. Praise the LORD for that.

Ever since, that little square of carpeting has become my favorite place to pray. I can pray anywhere, and I do. My walking path, the driver’s seat of my car, my desk at work, the prayer chapel on campus, nearly every square inch of my house, behind the lawn mower, they’ve all been turned into an altar. But that carpeting…it’s not an altar.

It’s the lap of the Father.

More times than I can count, I’ve literally fallen to my knees and squished my face into it until I can barely breathe, and there I begin to pray. I’ve been known to stay there until my legs go completely numb and I can’t stand. And often I end up curling up on my side, where I just imagine His arms around me, rocking me softly. And yes, I even fall asleep there, and I awaken knowing He’s watched over me. Refreshed me.

He is good.


~ In the same way, the Spirit helps us in our weakness. We do not know what we ought to pray for, but the Spirit himself intercedes for us with groans that words cannot express. And he who searches our hearts knows the mind of the Spirit, because the Spirit intercedes for the saints in accordance with God’s will. ~ Romans 8:26-27

And then They Came Home

Thank you for reading through my latest road trip journal. I really appreciated Faith's invitation to crash her vacation with her kids...it was a very fun weekend that we managed to complete with all manner of frugality, and I was pleased! I drove to Walgreens last night and picked up the 300 prints so I can begin the album. What have I done?

Anyway, before I show you the tail end of the pictures, I wanted to tell you this totally unrelated thing...but it just cracked me up. My friend Ronda gave me a Beth Moore book to read. It's one of those journal/books but so far I've only read the first chapter. No journaling yet. The book it's based on is Jesus: the One and Only, and the first chapter in the journal book talks about Mary receiving the news that she's to be the mother of the Messiah. Beth speculates what it would be like to have an angelic visitation.

After reading and crawling in bed for the night, I said, "God, do You think You could maybe bring back that whole angel thing? I could really use the confirmation right now." Now I know that God speaks to each of us in different ways, and the way I hear Him may be very different from the way you hear Him - and that's okay! But I'm so not kidding...right after I said that, I heard His familiar whisper say, "Baby Girl, if I sent an angel to your bedroom right now, you'd wet the bed!" I laughed right out loud in bed. Indeed He's right. Angel request or not, if I looked to the foot of my bed and found a man dressed in white standing there, I would wet the bed, followed by a 911 call, I'm sure! So perhaps He knows best in sticking with the still small voice - at least for me.

Okay. On to the end of a vacation.


This is actually the last picture we took on our vacation. It was about 7:00 on Sunday night and the two munchkins in the back had been up for 13 hours straight at that point. Not even a four hour zoo visit could persuade them to nap. Both of us wanted to nap, but given that we were the driver and navigation helper, we could not indulge in that luxury. Instead, we found a McDonald's drive thru and celebrated our achievement by buying a frappe.

This actually happened before we got to the Louisville zoo, but I wanted to save it for last. Remember on the way down...we encountered the burning trash truck? Well on the way home, we encountered this. Of course we would never WISH an accident on anyone, but we were both praising the Lord we were not in this line of traffic with those two kids in the back asking if we were there yet.


This was the accident. I didn't get the actual car because I couldn't see it until we were past it. It was on its roof and they were extracting people. Didn't look good.


And the line of traffic behind it was (I'm sure) at least four miles long. I just snapped pictures all the way down the line, and not until later, when Faith and I looked at them, did we find the hidden funnies.


For example: in this picture (click to enlarge) the truck says Quick Delivery Service. Um not today!!




People were giving up all the way down the line. Out of their cars....walking around...talking to truckers...you name it. There were random holes in the line where people really gave up and just completely turned around.

Faith found this...not me. But oh so true. Check out the billboard. I be the people stranded on up the hill were convinced of it!

There you have it! I'm done vacationing for the summer (I think).

KEEP READING!!!

Posting about "My Trip to the Zoo This Summer" is very dangerous. It's an invitation to close the blog and come back another day.

But please don't leave. I will try to make it the most fun zoo post you've EVER SEEN!

On the way home from Tennessee, Faith wanted to go to the Louisville Zoo. Keep in mind we'd been gone from our respective homes for 3 1/2 days at this point and the song and dance of "are we there yet?" was wearing on even those who said the words from the back seat. I was a bit nervous about a hot, sunny afternoon at a zoo, but despite my worries, we had fun!

When we left our condo in Tennessee, it was raining. But check out the weather that waited on us in Louisville!

I love the way zoos plant objects intended to create scrappable moments...

...we spent more time looking at this rhino than the real one behind the fence. :)

Wonder how much this birth announcement would cost to mail?

Forget the cost of postage. Try to imagine giving birth to a 130 pound baby!

Everyone loves the lion exhibit, right? I posted this picture so you could see how far we were from the lion.

But check out the zoom on my camera!

I have to tell you, when I took this picture, I thought...he knows. And he's not happy.

Wonder what a lion does to the paparazzi?

I found this outside the petting zoo...thought it might make a great inspiration for my next vehicle purchase. What do you think? New Bekahmobile?

Someone was done making serious faces. I think she outdid the gorillas.

This CRACKED me up. It was a "learning tool" that explained how animals mark their territory. For a demonstration...turn the wheel and watch it "spray." I love it that Faith just walked right up and did it.

I took this in honor of my part of town. This is the sort of thing that abounds....

...in the plastic variety of course.



Another of my favorite exhibits....I thought the pictures I got of the eagle in the botanical garden in Norfolk were good.....

But not THIS good!

Some exhibits just disappoint, you know?

Every time I see an elephant (which isn't all that often, granted) I think of the children's book where the character described her teacher's pantyhose as looking like elephant legs around the ankles. I can't remember the book, but that just cracks me up.

Good for them for petting the goat! I preferred to stand back and take pictures. There was one goat in there that I swear was drunk. He just staggered all over that pen!

Glad to meet you! (Except Kaylah really wasn't. She walked away right after this picture.)

Hannah and Kaylah had their first Dippin' Dots. Ever had those? I didn't eat any this particular day (residual car sickness...) but I remember the first time I ate them was at a zoo. It's the official zoo food, in my book.

And the conclusion of the day. We have a very similar monstrosity at work, so just seeing it reminded me that vacation was over and I was headed back to the real world....

For the record, the trip was a success! Only one meltdown - and it was at the very end. And it wasn't me! (Woo hoo!) The weather stayed gorgeous, and it was the best end to a great mini-vacation!