What I Learned in August

Happy end of August to you!! Hope this has been a good month as most of you have probably transitioned back to school and/or fall routines! Lots of fun stuff looms on the September horizon here in Shafferland, but for now, a little smattering of what I learned in August!

 

1. This drink helps curb my pop cravings.

I love pop. (Soda, whatever you call it in your part of our great wide world.) I have always loved it, and even though I try reeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeally hard not to drink very much of it, the truth is, I could probably drink it all day every day and be perfectly happy. Since we started doing our hardcore Crossfit-ish workouts, we've been drinking this every day, and while it's not pop and can never truly take the place of pop, it is helping curb my cravings for it. I at least try to drink this first and then if I absolutely feel that I will claw my own eyes out without a pop, I'll go for it.

2. A change in workout routine has revolutionized our lives.

You might remember that around the beginning of July, we joined a gym to take a Crossfit-style class. We enjoyed taking it (enjoyed might be a stretch for me) but couldn't justify the monthly payments for more than a month. So at the beginning of August, we went back to working out at home. We delayed our workout time by about 45 minutes in the morning, and the duration from an hour to a half hour. This has made alllllllllll the difference for me. I no longer need a two hour nap in the morning, and I'm not too sore to move all day, every day. I am so grateful!

3. I am going to be a great aunt!

Not like a spectacular aunt. A literal great aunt. (Which in my mind sounds too much like a great grandma, and I'm struggling with that!) My niece announced this month that she and her husband are expecting a baby in February! I am so thrilled for them! Yay for babies!!!!

4. (This is Ryan's.) Chicken, spinach, strawberries and ranch dressing really do work together.

He was so skeptical when I handed him the wrap filled with the aforementioned items (plus onions). It surprised me, because normally he'll eat just about anything! But I asked him to trust me, which he did, and his verdict at the end of the night was that the combo was genius, even though the thought of was rather disgusting. I absolutely agree.

5. You can cook corn on the cob inside the husk in the microwave.

Shut. The. Front. Door. My friend Judy, who reads here almost every day, I think, emailed me and shared this little tip. She did so right when we happened to get a donation of corn on the cob from one of Ryan's patients, so I tried it. Whaddya know!!?!?!? It works!

6. It helps to take the collar OFF the dog if you want to sleep well.

When Phoebe started staying with us, she slept with us (of course). The first night, her tags on her collar jangled every time she moved, and I woke up every single time. While this is not unusual for her sleepovers, I realized I couldn't handle no sleep for an extended period of time, so I used my inner brilliance and took the collar off at night. Why do I struggle to think of the simplest solutions???

7. I'm still a mystery to some people from my high school.

Ryan's class reunion was a blast, but it was also a reminder that most of my high school classmates don't recognize me anymore or they just don't remember me at all. It makes me laugh. 

8. Sunflower farms are as fascinating as they are beautiful.

When we toured the sunflower farm and processing center earlier this month, I realized that the whole process of making sunflower oil, from the bee pollination to the crop rotation to the oil presses is just flat-out interesting!

9. It doesn't matter how old you get, words can still hurt.

I read yesterday on Instagram that Joy (Duggar) Forsyth and her husband are expecting. The comments were scathing in about 100 different directions. I feel bad for her - and for ALL those girls - because I know that it doesn't matter what they post, they'll be ripped to shreds for it. Pregnant? Mean words. Baby in car seat? Mean words. Hairstyle? Mean words. Bible verse? Mean words. It's crazy. I'm grateful to live in a small world where people don't analyze and criticize my every move. That has to be exhausting. But even though I don't contend with it to their degree, I have been on the receiving end of hurtful words and actions this month, and no matter how much I want to be the big girl 39 year old that I am, they still hurt. Praying that I learn to think six or seven times before speaking or posting!  

Linking up with Tamar and her stunning photography! 

Also linking up with Emily Freeman, who hosts the "What I Learned" series... 

Tales from Carpool

I think I told you a little while back that my carpool load doubled this year. Last year I drove a 9 year old boy to school, and this year he's (obviously) advanced to double digits, and his little sister has joined him. She's four and in preschool.

And I'm not sure two more opposite human beings exist on this planet.

He's quiet. We went through entire car rides last year without uttering a single word. He isn't really fond of mornings, and I've never been accused of being overly giddy during them either. So it worked out just fine. If he had something to say, he'd say it, but that was rare.

His sister, on the other hand, has a zest for life (and mornings) that just won't quit. Everything is big and wonderful, and there are a thousand stories to be told. (And where stories fail, she retells old ones. Or makes up stories.)

In the past month, I have been ridiculously amused at the interaction between the two of them as I sip my coffee and drive to school.

Yesterday, for example, I pulled up to their house, and Sister was jumping up and down in the front yard, waving wildly. "GOOD MORNING!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!" she said as she climbed in the back seat and settled into her booster. (The booster, by the way, that she sometimes kisses when she gets in, because she misses it so much when she's not with it.) She was all buckled in, but I hadn't seen the first glimpse of Brother yet.

Finally he dragged out to the car, opened his door, collapsed into his seat, and announced loudly, "I don't want to go to school. It's so boring." (I honestly thought I'd hear that a few weeks ago, so I was impressed we made it this long!) Before I could try to counter him with an annoyingly wise tidbit of encouragement, Sister exclaimed, "WHAT? SCHOOL IS AWESOME!!!!!!!!"

I giggled right out loud into my coffee. Yes, indeed. The two extremes had spoken. Brother assured her that it was only awesome because she was in preschool. Once she got to higher grades, she would understand that it's no fun anymore.

(Remembering my many recesses spent inside trying to pass the multiplication timed tests, I bit my tongue from agreeing with him. We'll let her make her own opinions.)

Brother disappeared into a book, and Sister chattered happily all the way to school, telling me random facts about life, including the recent realization that her mother is an adult and a repeated story about her favorite ride at Holiday World: the Toilet Bowl. That brought Brother out of his book. "Stop talking about toilets," he said.

"I'm not talking about toilets. I'm talking about the TOILET BOWL."

Noted.

We got to school and Sister flung her door open to hop out in the drop-off line. The school's police officer, who has helped her out of the car before, was standing back a few feet. Sister paused mid-exit and hollered "HIIIIIIIIIIIIIIII POLICE!"

Everything is grand with her. You know, I have a feeling school really won't be boring for her, because nothing is boring.

Dramatic, but not boring. 

(Let's not forget two days ago, when her brother corrected her on something in the car, and she wailed "But I thought you loved me!!!!! Whyyyyyyyyyyy don't you love me?")

Oh boy.

It is not going to be a boring school year for this driver. Not by a long shot.

Lessons Learned from Phoebe

If you caught yesterday's post on paring down the stuff, you might like to hear the things Ryan and I don't think we could live without if we minimized even more. That and a brand new Ryan-and-the-ice-cream-shop story all for you right here!

Listen here!

So Phoebe has been here for two weeks now, and we are learning a lot from this little girl. Our little girl is not really in the mood to learn new things from our house guest, so she's locked herself in our bedroom and won't come out except at night (we think) while the rest of us are asleep. There have been a few showdowns, and we've talked to Phoebe about sharing this lovely home with its occupant. I'm not sure that has really settled in yet.

But Pheebs is a lot of fun, and we've learned a lot. I told Ryan the other day that I see why "they" tell you to get a dog before you have a baby (no, that's not an announcement) because the principles of time investment and sacrifice really are good preparation!

A few peeks at our fun and lessons learned:

* I have a new appreciation for all the evenings my mom sat with a brush and a bottle of No More Tangles and tried to work knots out of my long, tangly hair. Phoebe does NOT like having her hair brushed, and bless her little heart, she's patient and sits quietly, but now and then she rips her paw out of my hand and growls. I know, sister. I know it hurts. Been there! (Now that my hair is long again, I'm back there again every day!)

* Schedules can be taught. We always have a hard time getting Pheebs to eat at our house, because her routine is all out of whack. For the first few days she was here, she wasn't a great eater, but with a little perseverance, she figured out her new routine and now she's eating like a champ!

* There is nothing like being welcomed home by a squeaker toy party EVERY SINGLE TIME. It doesn't matter if we're gone for ten minutes or two hours. Our arrival at home is met with much fanfare. Jumping, kissing, wild chomping on the squeaker toy, and much running. I don't know that I have ever been so consistently received with such unabashed joy. It has certainly boosted my soul!

* You need to get to bed first. Because otherwise:

* Having an assistant is pretty much the best. She is the most patient dog when it comes to unending hours of podcasting, editing, writing, reading, etc.

(Also - where did my neck go in that picture?)

* Family walks increase dramatically when you have to make sure you don't skip potty breaks. That has been such a beautiful bonus! (Helps that the weather has been nice!)

So we might be moving a bit slower these days as we schedule time for walks, play time, and cuddling a little fur ball, but it's sweet. We appreciate her and all the unconditional love she gives!

Less is More

When I was in high school, I dreamed about the day when I would have my own house that I could decorate and furnish any way I wanted.

I had no particular sense of style back then, but now that I look back at that era, I'm not sure anyone did. Ruffled everything (curtains, bedding, couches) and tiny printed wallpaper ruled - for everyone! But I didn't care that I didn't have style. I just wanted my own place. And in my mind, "my own place" needed to be stuffed full with my own stuff.

I collected as much as I could throughout those high school years. Both my parents lost their parents during those years, so I inherited an above average amount of furniture and household items that I stashed away for my someday.

When I moved into my house after college, and then when it became solely my house after my last roommate moved out four years later, I indeed stuffed every corner full of something. I wasn't a hoarder, but I was a collector. A collector of stuff. Empty space made me nervous.

I wanted stuff to look at and stuff to use. I wanted stuff on standby in case current stuff broke. I wanted stuff that was always mine and stuff that had been somewhere else and came stuffed with memories.

Stuff, stuff, stuff.

I told Ryan this week that I think my mentality toward stuff began to change after the tornado that hit my sister's town ten years ago. I panicked for her when I found out her house blew away, because I knew that left her without her stuff, and I wanted to help her get it all replaced immediately. Then I found out that while losing everything to a wind event wouldn't have been her first choice for a means of downsizing, she also wasn't in a hurry to put it all back as it had been. She was in a hurry to think about what she really wanted and needed and replace accordingly.

Beginning with that, God slowly began to change my view of stuff. Getting married was the next big wake-up call for me. Suddenly having about 2800 square feet of stuff that needed to be combined and cut in half caused us to create rules about the things we wanted to keep and the things we wanted to let go. We got rid of duplicates, excess, and things that weren't representative of us as a couple.

It worked!

But we still had a lot.

So after I quit my job, I went through the entire house pretty ruthlessly and eliminated six more truckloads of excess, which provided us with a nice yard sale. The funds from our yard sale sent us on a nice vacation, with memories we hold much closer than the trinkets we sold.

We unloaded about three more truckloads a few months later when we moved, and recently, we've been looking around again, wondering how much of what we have is really necessary.

It's not that we feel crowded these days. On the contrary: we have more room than we've ever had, and it's lovely to spread out and not feel overly cluttered. But stuff leads to maintenance. And we find ourselves wondering if we really need to maintain quite as much as we have scattered around us.

And if not, what could we part with?

We don't have answers yet. These are just the questions we wrestle with right now. What matters most to us? Is there something God is calling us to let go of? He seems to be slowly pulling our hearts away from loving our stuff, and we want to be obedient to Him!

How about you? Love your stuff? Anything you think you could absolutely NOT live without?

The Shafferland Shuffle

Happy Sunday! Last Sunday feels like 100 years ago, and it was more than 100 pictures ago for us. #lifewithphoebe

* We actually didn't have Phoebe last Sunday...she was finishing up her weekend with her brothers, who watched her so we could do all Ryan's reunion festivities. We helped out at church that morning, working the sign-up booth for small groups! That afternoon, I made a Milky Way cake for the eclipse party at Ryan's work on Monday. It was SO GOOD. Phoebe came back Sunday night, and we took her for a sunset walk. Gorgeous!

* Monday was the big eclipse day, and in our part of Indiana, it wasn't all that exciting. It got cool out and the cicadas started buzzing (basically like evening), but I've seen it get much darker from storms! Nevertheless, Ryan was ready with his glasses! Pheebs and I stayed safely inside. I wasn't about to ruin my perfect vision, and I have no intentions of returning a blind dog!!

* Tuesday I had to go to Fort Wayne for a dentist appointment, and I got a great report at my checkup! This week marked three years since my oral surgery, and I continue to improve! I stuck around to have lunch with one of my WBCL friends, but I had to hurry home right after, because Ryan only had so much wiggle room in his schedule to get home periodically to tend to Phoebe!

* GORGEOUS sunrise on Wednesday. So pretty! Nothing really special happened on this day; just hung around home doing our thing! Phoebe helped me prepare for Bible study, so I guess that makes her extra spiritual.

* Thursday was eye doctor day for me; still have 20/12 vision! SWEET! Still can't handle eye drops. Sigh. Ryan needed to make a video for one of my friends who was having some nerve pain - to show her some pressure points or something. I was his video model, so Phoebe joined me in it!

* Friday night, we took a field trip to Lowe's, since it's pet friendly. We were "those people" shopping with our dog and our Starbucks. LOL! Here's a funny peek at our bedtime. Every night, Phoebe runs in and tries to claim one of our sides before we get there. It's a game to see whose side she picks each night.

* Yesterday, Ryan cut down a small tree in our backyard. Broke our hearts because it's SO pretty, but it's dying, so we had to cut it down. We had to take all the branches out to my parents' house for their burn pile (since we don't have one), and that was like a whole dog park for the Pheebster! She was SO excited to run, roll in the grass, and chase anything she could find. Fun day!

The Saturday Six

One.

One of the most helpful non-fiction books I've read lately was Christine Hoover's Messy Beautiful Friendship. I asked her if she'd be a guest on The Conversation Cafe so you could learn from her, too! She talks about the beauty friendship has to offer, but also the messes and obstacles that threaten friendships. Even if you have great, healthy friendships, take a listen; I bet you'll learn something helpful! (Listen right here!)
Two.

 I don't play golf, so it might surprise you that I'm mentioning this, but my sister plays golf and I often buy golf balls as Christmas gifts for her and her husband. I stumbled upon this post taking us behind the scenes of how Titleist golf balls are made. Pretty fascinating, even for non-golfers!

Three.

You know I have a huge heart for Now I Lay Me Down To Sleep and the work they do for parents who have lost babies. I loved this article about how one couple incorporates their daughter's memory in their travels.  

Four.

We've had Phoebe for a week and a half now, and I'm learning her favorite "bathroom stalls." The other day, Ryan and I took her for a walk, and she was sniffing around like she had to go, but she wasn't pausing to actually go. He asked me what was taking so long, and I told him it was the wrong yard. We kept going, and sure enough, two yard later, DING DING DING! Apparently, according to this article, there's a science to this whole thing! Who knew?  

Five.

I love reading articles about unique homes. Check out this former Catholic church that was transformed into the cutest house! (Clearly a small Catholic church.) 

Six.

In a tough season right now? Here's some encouragement for you! 

Memories and Such

I love Time Hop.

Actually, I don't have Time Hop. I have no more room for apps on my phone. I just click on over to "On This Day" on Facebook, pretend it's Time Hop and see what I was up to on this day in years past.

Yesterday was apparently a memorable day, to say the least, in years gone by.

First of all, there was this. You probably don't remember it, but I guarantee you'll get a couple of good giggles if you go read it. This was right at the beginning of the time Ryan and I were dating, and you all didn't know about it yet. His mom had invited me to join her, Aunt Ruthie, and Bre at the Women of Faith conference down in Indianapolis. We stayed in the JW Marriott right downtown, and that hotel was (and honestly still is) wayyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy fancier than any hotel this girl ever stays in.

I had a couple of key card glitches that left me stalked by hotel security, while low on coffee. Horrible combination! And really not a great way to make a favorable impression on people who may end up becoming your in-laws. (Yes, I do know they are my in-laws now, but as of that day, I didn't know that for sure.)

And if you read that funny tale and are confused by the line, "What is it with me and photo ID?" - it refers to a vacation I had taken the year before when I was caught red-handed without ID twice in one trip. The first time I was trying to buy cold medicine, and the rules about showing ID for over-the-counter cold meds had just begun, but I didn't know they existed. I had carried cash to the store, but I'd walked there, so I didn't have my purse or ID with me. The second time I was trying to get into a gated community to visit friends and didn't have my ID on me that time either. OH! And I was also wearing my swimsuit.

These are the things that happen to me in real life that no one should ever believe, but they're true! Every last one of them!

Anyway.

Yesterday was also the one year anniversary of the tornado that hit Kokomo and knocked over Starbucks. I shivered, just remembering how terribly ordinary the day had been. I spent the afternoon baking chocolate chip cookies for my mom's upcoming surprise party, and I hadn't even known it was supposed to sprinkle, let alone be a tornado-worthy day.

I remember the collision of the TV alert/weather radio alert/phone alert and how Ryan rushed home from work to get me and take me back to a safe room. I remember hyperventilating in his cloffice while he and his co-workers continued to treat patients as though nothing out of the ordinary raged just beyond the windows.

I remember opening Facebook and the first picture that appeared in my feed showed the flattened Starbucks. (I also remember receiving a high volume of texts and emails from friends who wanted to know if I was in that Starbucks at the time.)

I remember how the sun came back out and I skipped merrily home, only to dive into the bathroom a couple of hours later when another tornado swirled past our house, this time even closer than the one that took out Starbucks.

No more of this, please.

Yesterday I went to the eye doctor, and I survived the air puffs and the eye drops. (You think I'm kidding about "surviving" eye drops, but for this girl, it's a thing. I'm telling you.) As I got ready to walk out, the eye doctor congratulated me on being much calmer than I had been at my first visit two years ago.

Yeah, I'm apparently that legendary in that office.

So that's your Bekah-girl! Swirling through life, leaving a splash of memories everywhere! Happy Friday!! :)

Pausing to Say I Love You

Last month, when I went to the speaking/writing conference in Michigan, I went to a workshop led by a lovely lady named Shannon Popkin. We emailed back and forth a bit after the conference, and yesterday she left me a note on Facebook saying, "So I hear your love story is pretty awesome..."

I didn't need a second invitation to send her here to read about how our love story began. A while later, she wrote back to say she had cried while she read our story, and she didn't get her work done all afternoon. (Whoopsie.)

She said she particularly loved this post, which I wrote almost five years ago, saying what I loved about Ryan. I went back to read it too, and I cried all over again, remembering what a gift it was to experience his love in those early days.

As we make our way through these five-years-later milestones, I want to pause to say out loud that all those things I wrote five years ago are still very true. And I've had the chance to know them in even truer, fuller ways in these last five years together.

* Ryan still has a heart for the Lord, and he still has as deep a desire to serve in church as he does to sit at home and study and pray. I appreciate the way he loves and serves God!

* He's still the spiritual leader in our marriage, and I love it. He prays over me, studies Scripture with me, worships with me at church, and I definitely feel that he loves me as Christ loves the church. I respect and admire his leadership!

* I don't think I need to really say that he is definitely STILL FUNNY. Makes me laugh every day! And isn't life so much better with laughter in it?

* If only I could have known, five years ago, how much he would push me out of my comfort zone, over and over again, I probably would have been a lot more freaked out! LOL! Just kidding! So many times in these last five years, he's helped me do more than I thought I could, but as always, this picture says it best.

* Obviously we still drink coffee together and take a billion pictures of everything we ever do. He loves what makes me tick, even if he doesn't always understand it! But coffee...coffee, we understand. And this has been a big part of our relationship!

* He still surprises me with little gifts and ice cream and flowers and other treasures to let me know how much he loves me. And my gift loving heart adores these gestures!

* He's still a planner, and my goodness: his planning has paid off time and time again for us. From getting great deals on purchases to enjoying surprise dates to even making big life changes like being able to work from home, the planning is always a gift!

* Five years later, and he's still affectionate. YAY! Still loves to hold my hand, kiss me, and cuddle with me. The affection-lover in me loves that!

* He's still vocal about his love, and I love that. I love it when he tells someone else something he loves about me, or when I just see that look in his eye. Goose bumps!

* He still sees me. He sees worth, potential, and value. He sees beauty, even when I can't. Possibly one of the things I appreciate most about all he offers to me!

* And of course...he's even more handsome today than he was five years ago! And he was amazing five years ago!

Ryan Shaffer, I love you! I loved you five years ago, and I love you even more today. I've heard it said that whatever you do to capture the attention of the person you love is what you need to keep doing once you have that attention. And you have consistently done just that. Every day you are exactly who I fell in love with! Thank you for being my constant!

And thank you for being proof to others that it's possible to be all these things, every day. I love the way you lead by example!

Linking up with Tamar!

The Date Inspired by the Letter O

I had originally planned an outside date for our alphabetical date inspired by the letter O, and we were going to have said date during our visit to the lake this summer. But then we didn't get to go to the lake, so I had to table it until I could figure out a Plan B.

My Mom actually suggested this one to us, and I'm so glad she did! It was creative, different, and not only was it outside, it was an open house for an oil farm. Not like motor oil. SUNFLOWER oil!

We went this past Saturday, after Ryan got off work to the Healthy Hoosier Oil Farm, over by Converse. (If you're not from here, that's not too far from Kokomo.)

The people who run the farm have been farming for years and years, but they needed a way to reinvent the use of their land and crops, so they started (three years ago) planting fields of sunflowers and processing their own oil there at the farm. (They also produce canola oil.) They held an open house that featured tours through the sunflower fields, samples of food cooked in their own oils, crafts for kids, and tours of the processing area.

It was a very cool date!

Samples! Onion rings, among other things. :)

Farm animals. Horses and (as my mother put it for the sake of the date) oinks. I hope she didn't include me in that part.

 Oral exam, perhaps?

Someone had a little fun on the farm equipment...

We sat in on the demonstration of the oil processing. Fascinating to learn how they actually make oil, from start to finish. (Including the crop rotation, bee pollination, and pressing.)

We also went on the riding tour of the fields...and we walked around some in the fields, too. They said peak beauty had come about one week before, but I still thought the fields were awfully pretty!

(Here are the beehives at the farm. The bees work the fields!)

Thanks, Mom, for suggesting such a fun date. If you're from this area, I recommend this next year! (And they said the fields are open for photography if you want to come have a photo shoot!)

(To see the full list of all our alphabetical dates thus far, look here!)