Petite

I've been reading an excellent book by Angela Thomas: Do You Think I'm Beautiful? The study that accompanies it asks probing questions that have made me think far more intently than any other study I've done.

Self-esteem has always been a struggle area for me. Within the last few years I've slowly morphed from hating everything about myself...to hating only a few things about myself...to generally accepting most things about myself...to kinda liking a few things...you get the idea. This study came at the perfect time, because I'm convinced God is ready for me to kick this struggle and see myself the way He does.

This journey from hate to love has required me to accept certain things about myself. One of the hardest things to accept is I'm not small. I have tiny friends. Skinny friends. Slender friends. On-the-small-side-of-average friends. I am not tiny, skinny, slender or on the small side of anything. And unless I get sick and lose all kinds of weight, I probably never will be. It's not the way I'm made. Granted, I'm working to get smallER, but I'll never be small.

And that's becoming okay for me.

Tonight as I headed out to the grocery store, I yanked the car door open without remembering to unlock it first. The handle stayed put, but my fingernail did not. It ripped all the way down, leaving me with a very crooked, unsightly manicure.

And tomorrow is picture day.

Of course.

Obviously I cannot grow a perfected nail in 24 hours, so I did what any girl would do - on short notice. I visited the fake nail aisle at the Wal Mart. I used to have my nails done every two weeks. I loved scooting into the salon and being pampered for an hour or so, leaving with beautiful, maintenance-free nails for two weeks. But in the Bekah-recession about five years ago, the nail habit was cut to make room for things like electricity and food.

I miss those nails. I thought with time, I'd forget them. I haven't.

The Wal-Mart fake nail aisle is hardly the salon. But I don't have time or an extra wad of cash, so for today, it has to suffice.

And boy am I glad I made that stop! It turns out there are a variety of options in the fake nail aisle. It's kind of like selecting a Starbucks beverage. But what thrilled my soul most of all was this: I have petite nails.

This girl who grew up having her chubby cheeks pinched...who watches daily as her neck threatens to develop the genetic gobbler...who begs her arms to NOT develop the Bricker swing...who was once complimented on her "blossoming" belly...has petite nails!!!

It wouldn't have been the area of focus I would have chosen, but praise the Lord something's petite!

Bits for Sunday, November 29, 2009

I’m working on my scrapbook today…making the Thanksgiving Day page and the Deck the Halls page…and when those two are done, it will be time to make the December calendar page for my book. I vividly remember standing at my kitchen table almost a year ago, creating the January page! My skinny little scrapbook was filled with clean white pages, and now it’s a fat, fat book, with many pages added in. From the look of things, I’ll probably have to squeeze in just a few more pages to complete the year.

I shared in our office devotions last week that I’m thankful for a “fat scrapbook” year. My scrapping is more than an addiction (though I recognize it is that)…it’s a record of what took place. A reminder of the great times I’ve had. A chronicle of varying hair lengths and colors, too. :)

Scrap days, game nights, meals out with friends, coffee and movie nights, new babies to cuddle, retreats, vacations, seasons of TV shows, days at the lake, Bible studies, cookouts, upgrades to the house, concerts, and conferences were among the things that made this such a great year. Such a scrappable year. Such a memorable year.

I’m thankful for these blessings, because I know a lot of people who had a memorable year, but in their case, memorable didn’t mean great. And yet I’ve been so challenged by their decision to hope. Their resolve to move forward. Their choice to proclaim that God is good even when life is not.

You know how I love to read blogs, and two that come to mind right now are great examples of people who have had terrible years filled with incredible faith. I don’t know either of them in real life, but I love to read their words, because I know I’m going to leave their web page encouraged and thankful.

One of the blogs is about the Sullivan family. They were in their late 20’s…a military couple living overseas. Early last year, Sara, the wife, was diagnosed with cancer. Shortly after receiving her diagnosis, she also found out she was pregnant with their first child. They moved back to the States and she began treatment for her cancer.

On September 4th, Brady and Sara celebrated their fifth anniversary, in the hospital. On September 8th, about 6 weeks early, Sara had a c-section and delivered baby Chloe. On September 15th, they all went home together as a family. And on September 18th, when Chloe was just 10 days old, Sara began having seizures in her home and had to be taken back to the hospital. She died four days later just over a week away from her 29th birthday.

I remember reading through their story and trying to comprehend what Brady must be facing as a widower and brand new father. Even now, as I sit here, I think of him and how a year ago, he was overseas with his wife, not knowing she was sick, not knowing they would have a baby, not knowing anything of what was to come in the next year.

And yet if you read his blog posts, you can read about courageous faith and blossoming hope. He doesn’t hide his grief. But even in the middle of the deepest grief, you can see his peace and his hope.

My memorable, scrappable year was very different from Brady’s. But I hope both of us have the same message to share – a message of thankfulness and hope in a faithful God.

Decking the Halls

Yesterday I skipped the Black Friday madness and stayed home to decorate. Actually I did make two purchases...but I made them both online, so I didn't have to deal with crowds. SWEET.

I don't think you understand the madness that is the Bekah-decoration-adventure. Literally half my attic empties into my bedroom. It's quite a mess. Since I was unable to get all the decorating done in one day, I was forced to sleep in the living room last night. I wasn't about to compete with the boxes...

Ahhh my little helper. Brayea designated herself the official light tester.

Kaegan made a rare appearance and helped test the tree branches. They must not have tasted super great. He didn't stay long.

Putting the topper on the first tree. This tree turned out very well...I was impressed!!

The office tree is just a little one where I keep ornaments from my childhood and other random ornaments I've gotten throughout the years. I noticed this particular one was from 1989 - exactly 20 years ago. It was from my piano teacher. Oh memories....

The last tree I did (for the day) was the bedroom tree. It needs some tweaking...you can tell I'd lost my creativity for the day. But it looks so cute!!

So today will be finish-the-decorating day...just as soon as I can get off the couch.

Happy Thanksgiving!!

Happy, happy Thanksgiving! I'm thrilled to report that about ten minutes ago, I finished 50% of my Black Friday shopping. :) Given that I can hear wind howling just outside the door, I'd say this online shopping business is the way to go.

Today's Thanksgiving meal was held at my parents' house. I arrived about 20 minutes before lunch was served. Was I too late with the turkey??

Mom makes the best apple pie...

Julie and me. Aren't we cute?

Here we are...minus the Kansas crew.

The day was a good one! Tons of food (I took the dressing and Julie made YUMMY broccoli salad) and the chance to share the day with some friends of Mom and Dad's. That was good!

Once we were done eating (and eating and eating) I came home and started working on my Christmas card signing adventure. Haven't gotten very far, but that's okay. My friends Mark and Lynnette stopped by to see me too, with their precious Chihuahua, Belle. Braeya ran in fright. :) She's such a chicken.

So now I'm going to sign a few more cards, head to bed, and wake up for another quick online shopping adventure before conking out for sleep, part two!

Pumpkin Cake

I didn't forget you, Laurie! Here you go!! :)

Last year I needed a good (and of course, easy) Thanksgiving dessert to take to the church carry-in. My friend Judy gave me this recipe. I was a little scared at first because anything that involves LAYERS of cake intimidates me a bit. But I promise it is easy to make! I whipped one up last year and only brought home crumbs. :( This year I made it again and managed to bring a few pieces home, so I've been happily enjoying it for the past couple of days!

If you're looking for a good Thanksgiving/pumpkin dessert that offers an alternative to the standard pie route...allow me to suggest this one. Happy Thanksgiving, and happy cooking!

The Recipe

1 yellow cake mix
1 15-ounce can pumpkin, divided
1/2 cup milk
1/3 cup oil
4 eggs
1 1/2 teaspoon pumpkin pie spice, divided
1 8-ounce package cream cheese, softened
1 cup powdered sugar
1 8-ounce tub whipped topping
1/4 cup caramel ice cream topping
1/4 cup chopped pecans

Spray 2 9-inch round baking pans with non-stick spray and flour them. In a large bowl, beat together the cake mix, 1 cup of the pumpkin, milk, oil, eggs, and 1 teaspoon of the pumpkin pie spice. When well blended, pour into pans. Bake at 350 for 30 minutes. Cool in pans for 10 minutes, then remove to wire racks until completely cool. Meanwhile, beat cream cheese until creamy. Add powdered sugar, remaining pumpkin and spice. Gently stir in whipped topping. Cut each cake layer horizontally in half. Place frosting between layers and on top. Just before serving, drizzle with caramel topping and sprinkle with nuts. Refrigerate when not serving.

I did use low fat milk, cream cheese, and whipped topping, and everything tasted okay.

I'm not really an expert at flouring pans, but I just sprinkled some in there and shook it around until it looked semi-evenly floured.

The cake mix, pumpkin, milk, oil, eggs, and spice - awaiting its stirring.

And here it is once it's all combined. I did actually use the beaters - just didn't think to take a picture of it at that time.

I tried to get the batter to spread evenly in the pan so I wouldn't have rounded cakes, but my efforts were in vain.

When the cakes came out of the oven, I ran a knife around the edge right away to loosen them a bit, hoping they wouldn't crack or crumble when I tried to transfer them to the wire racks.

...and it was successful! I had to kind of beat on the bottom of the pans to get them out, but they came out all in one piece. WHEW. This isn't a cake that allows you to cover up those sorts of mistakes very easily.

While the cake was cooling, I worked on the frosting. I'd had the cream cheese out softening for a while and ran the beaters through it for just a few seconds.

I quit when it looked about like this.

Then I stirred in the pumpkin, spice, and powdered sugar. I kept using the beaters - but I had to be careful not to blow the powdered sugar all over my kitchen!!

I stirred in the whipped topping with a spatula - and the frosting became very light - but pretty with the pumpkin in there.

Cutting the cake...very tricky. I noticed there seemed to be a line about halfway down the cake, so I used that as my guide...

And it cut pretty evenly! I'm sure my Home Ec teacher would have something to say about the holes in there, but whatever. All tastes the same!

I wasn't very good with fractions, so I had to do my best guessing frost between the layers.

The original recipe said not to frost the top layer but that made no sense to me, so I frosted it anyway. Sorry the nuts aren't on here...we added those at the last minute at church and I didn't take a picture.

Very, very yummy!!!!

Praying on the Run - Card 3

Tonight my run turned into a walk after just a few laps. I hadn't felt well for a couple of days and thought I was all better, but I definitely tuckered out after a few laps! Oh well. Praying on a walk works just as well.

This card is a bit of a soapbox issue for me, so consider yourself warned. The quote from the book says:


I learned that after my relationship with Jesus, my relationship with my husband is to be my first priority. - Cindy Gensler

My prayer became:

Wisdom to balance relationships and to remember which comes first and which comes second...always.

When I was in high school, I babysat for a living. One of the families I sat for regularly purposed to go out on a date every other week. I know at times it was a sacrifice for them....financially and time-wise, but they went. And while sometimes they did go see a movie, they also went on dates to spend time talking to one another. They talked about their marriage and what was happening with their kids and goals they had as a couple and as a family. Even though I was still in high school, I recognized they were doing something right. I absorbed what I learned there and am so grateful they were willing to share their ideas with a teenager. They put God first and their relationship second...and taught me by example why it was important to do that.

I've been blessed to observe other couples who do a great job of this, too. But I also know many couples who haven't practiced it...who don't practice it...and it shows. It shows when they have kids and suddenly have to be reminded that they're married...because they only talk about and focus on their kids. It shows when they're caught up in work or school or hobbies. I find that most of them work to still keep God first, but marriage isn't second anymore...or third...or seventh. Or maybe even on the list at all.

I'm sure it's not as easy as I imagine it to be. I'm sure those other responsibilities do crowd in and it's easy to let the marriage slip down the rank of importance. But I am praying hard that when my day does come, I remember these days. The days when I pray for that relationship to come into my life.

Bits for Sunday, November 22, 2009

Today’s Bits are not intended to make my mother sorry for the question she asked me yesterday…but they might end up accomplishing that purpose. Rather randomly, she asked if I ever journal anymore. Do I ever journal!?!? HA! Only in two books every day!

Why do I journal? (This was not a question she asked. It’s a freebie.) I journal to get stuff out of my head to make room for more. After all, exploding heads are rather unattractive, and I try to avoid that happening to me. I journal to remember things I would otherwise forget (case in point, very shortly). And I journal in case someday I become a famous dead author and some college professor needs to send students to the library to spend hours reading the journals of a dead author. (Oh sorry…was that bitterness from days of yore out loud??)

I did this once before, on a different day, but I thought I’d do it again just for fun. I went through my journals from the last ten years and pulled out the happenings of this fine day over the course of that decade. Some (okay, several) details have been omitted because I’m not dead and therefore don’t want you to know just all of it. I’ve added a few details in italics for clarification. Please do note that not every year could be exciting. For that, I apologize.

2008 – I hit the jackpot at the Hobby Lobby today. 90% off fall stuff! I got a $200 arrangement for $20! How awesome is THAT!?!? I also found a new Christmas tree – a slim one. I’m VERY excited about that. No more sorting branches and moving half my furniture into the garage. This leaves me wondering where exactly I stashed that gorgeous $200 arrangement I purchased for $20. See? This is why I journal! I find lost treasures! Or I hope to, anyway. And by the way – that slim tree was fantastic. Although one of my kiddos did remark later that it was very skinny. Clearly she has not mastered the finer points of HGTV recommendations for decorating a small space. She’ll learn.
2007 – A good Thanksgiving! Mom took 34 pictures tonight – I think we might have some Christmas picture contenders among them. I still have not lived down my photo session with my mother from that year. I’m picky, okay??
2006 – Crashed on the couch because all the Christmas decorations were on the bed. I didn’t journal. My gift to you today is not relaying the rest of that day’s happenings to you…as recalled the next day. Let’s just say it wasn’t one of the more glowing days of my life.

2005 – The day started out rough. Rosters wouldn’t run right…blah blah blah. (The blah blah blah is my edit for other work drama. Again, you’re welcome.) But the day got better. I got a free lunch from Mom and Dad. I almost got the next phase of my Christmas cards done. My goal is to finish tomorrow night. It could be a long night. I need to finish this year’s cards this week…good reminder. 


2004 – Day one of vacation down. I had a slumber party on the couch last night. Woke up at 10 after 8 this morning feeling most pleased that I did not have to report to duty! My highlight (eyeroll) of the day was when I was leaving the Student Center after cashing a check and some student was hurling in the bushes. Gross. I cleaned the whole downstairs today – vacuum attachments, rubber gloves and all. I want to know why I can clearly recall that hurling-in-the-bushes scene – but I still cannot remember where I stashed that Hobby Lobby find!

2003 – I just got back from my date – and once again, I remain confused… I’m plagued with guilt about how much money he has spent on me in a week. Everyone ordered steak for dinner. I ordered a club sandwich. Then we went out for ice cream and I feel guilty about that too. I watched Savannah today and learned how to decorate a porch for Christmas, fry bacon, chop broccoli and teach someone how to stamp while managing her. Yes, that is the DATE word appearing in my journal…actually the first in kind of a mini-series here of Lifetime movie-esque November days in Bekahland. I’m wondering if the one reader who was ON this double date with me will recognize it and remember it. I cracked up just now about that club sandwich part. Totally Bekah. I don’t remember watching Savannah that day, but I am impressed at my multi-tasking.
2002 –Today was fun. I got my book back, and I am ultra excited about that. It looks so nice. I’m glad I went the extra mile and had Susan design the cover. This was the year I wrote a book for my family for Christmas. I worked on it the entire year and have pictures from this day when I picked it up in the print shop. Loved that gift!

2001 – Well, I’ve always wanted a perfect holiday and today came very close. You are, once again, welcome for the details you are not reading here…not because they are bad. They’re just gooshy gross. This was the first year I brought a boy to a family holiday and I was absolutely thrilled. I just knew I’d arrived. At least I appreciated it in the moment. I hate it when people want something for a long time and then fail to appreciate it in the moment. 


2000 – The B-boy never ceases to amaze me with the things he says and does. I just love
talking to him and laughing with him. He’s fun. I can’t wait until Saturday when I can see him. I’ve been so busy tonight. I made that apple cake tonight. It looks good. I set the table and cleaned and cleaned in the kitchen. I’m very tired. I just want to go to bed and sleep until about 11. Can’t do that. Want to do that, but can’t. I hope I don’t oversleep tomorrow. That would be a bad thing. This day was the eve of hosting my first ever major family holiday. And as you can see…also the middle of another luuuuv moment. I should write more about that sometime. It was a fun – and funny – chapter of my life.

1999 – Wow. Today was tough…But God was awesome and provided a chapel that let me regroup a little. And this takes us back to my final year of college – just a few weeks after the great relationship end of 1999. Definitely a rough time, but definitely a time when God showed (again) that HE IS GOOD. And He still is!!

He Sits in Stairwells

I haven't had too much to say on here this week. Had it not been for my trusty prayer card, I'm not sure what I would have done...posted a recipe, maybe?

My mind has just been so full, and not always in a good way. This week, for all of its good moments, has also had a number of tears and hurts.

This is one such moment. A moment in which I'm sitting in the dark in my stairwell, with my box of kleenex and two very confused (or maybe they're just annoyed) cats. I'm glad these moments don't come too often anymore...the ones where I cry so hard I'm pretty sure I'm going to throw up, so I stop crying, because we all know I don't throw up.

I want to pray, but I have no coherent words...not even coherent thoughts. So all I can do is hope He can figure out the jumbled mess that is my brain in this moment. And I know He can. He somehow makes sense of hot tears and snot and mascara rivers.

I love people. I love to be with them. I love to listen (okay only sometimes on that one, but I do try...). I love to care and encourage. I love to laugh and make others laugh. I love to swap stories and hugs.

But sometimes all that leads to a lot of hurt. Caring so much and knowing I'm probably going to have my heart broken. Shouldering a burden until I almost can't stand up underneath it. Speaking a word and finding it to be the wrong one - which is the most common of all this Motor Mouth's problems.

And then it really hurts.

But even when it really hurts and I resort to crying on the stairs, I know...

...He sits in stairwells too.

Praying on the Run - Card 2

I fully intended to post this last night, but I ran out of time. I had the chance to help a friend by proofreading a research paper. I was happy to do it and enjoyed it, but let the record show I am so thankful I'm done with research papers. I couldn't remember how bibliographies were supposed to look, and quite frankly, the mere sight of one made me shiver. I love my post-college life!

Anyway, last week I told you about my praying on the run method of counting laps in the gym. I have the quote and prayer from the second card for you today:

"I learned how to wait patiently for my husband to become the man God had designed him to be. It didn't happen the way I would have planned, without any difficulties, but the result was far more than I could have imagined." - Suzi McDuffee

My prayer goal: Patience and surrender to allow God to mold each of us in His way.

As you might imagine, the words "wait patiently" sealed my fate. I'm not particularly gifted with either. Though I am not fond of publicly airing my shortcomings, I will admit that in college, this was an issue in my relationship. I had mentally crafted the person I wanted my boyfriend to be, and I left no room for him to have an opinion or for God to do any work. I tried to boss them both around, and in the end, the relationship failed. It might have failed anyway, but I've often wondered...if I'd been wiser about this, could it at least have been more productive...or left both of us with growth to show for the time we'd spent together?

When I saw Suzi's words, I knew I had to make them part of my prayer for the someday relationship, because I do not want to make that mistake again. Mr. Missing, wherever he is, is not mine to mold. God has a plan for his life just like He has a plan for mine, and the work needs to be left up to God's hand and God's timing. (ouch.)

Very little in my life has happened the way I would have planned, but I do have to say it's turning out better than I imagined it could. Why would the same not be true for my husband?

And on the flip side, this is the same sort of courtesy I hope my husband extends to me...being patient with God to work in me. Surrendering me to God's choices.

Patience can't be taught, but I'm open to any suggestions on surviving it!

Bits for Sunday, November 15

I come to you completely exhausted and completely happy. I pondered taking tomorrow off work so I could catch up on rest and I’m sorely regretting the decision to not pursue that avenue. Hopefully something fun and exciting will happen when I get there that will make it all worth the sacrifice of sleep!

This weekend concluded what I lovingly dubbed my “fall-o-fun,” and what fun it was, too! Fun that centered around friendship, and it made me so thankful for the people God has placed in my life to brighten every day.

Friends who call…and talk for an hour or so…about everything and nothing. Friends who joke with you and yet take enough time to listen and genuinely care about what’s happening in your world and trust you enough to share what’s happening in theirs.

Friends who want to spend an evening with you…spur of the moment…just for fun. Friends who invite you to join them in their plans and keep staying out just a few more minutes because nothing at home is as much fun as being out together.

Friends who know the things you love and plan something fun so a group can come together and spend an entire day sharing your passion. Friends who celebrate your work and allow you to share in their excitement over their own accomplishments.

Friends who will spend an afternoon giggling with you over a fun project. Friends who will do something crazy just to watch you laugh in shock. Friends who may be separated from you by several years and yet still choose to spend time with you.

Friends who come over and sit for a three hour heart-to-heart chat. Friends who know the core of your soul and still love you. Friends who hurt with you when you hurt and yet know just how to push you forward to be your very best. Friends who don’t get annoyed when the very best is slow (as in years) in arriving.

These are the people that make an action-packed weekend totally worth the lack of rest. I can’t speak for everyone on this, but these are the people that energize me to take on a new week of uncertainty and difficulties. These are the people that remind me of my blessings.

I know we have a week and a half (a.k.a. eight business days) before Thanksgiving, but I’m going to jump ahead and say I’m thankful for my friends. I’m thankful for their love, their open arms, their laughter, and the joy they bring to my days.

Crafting Day

Today concluded all the activities I had planned in my official fall-o-fun. And what a FUN conclusion it was, too!

My friend Sarah found this amazing place called the Cherished Moments Craft Hideaway. I have to tell you - if you live around this area and you're a crafter of any kind, this place is worth it! To prove my point...I bring you what I love most. Pictures!

This is the entrance to the Craft Hideaway. I am fairly certain all the drivers on the highway found us to be a crazy lot...all of us crouched beside this sign smiling at a fence. God bless camera timers!
This business offers weekend stays, but also one-day crops, and that's what we did today. Girls, it was worth every penny, and I'm not even kidding.

These two ladies were our gracious hostesses. They pampered us so much. The food - which we'll get to in a minute - was far beyond what I expected to be served, and the service itself was exceptional. They brought us everything we needed, checked in on us often, and just made the day beautiful. Thanks, Ladies!!!

Those of you who have seen my stamp closet will understand why I was so excited to find their stamp collection hidden in a cranny of a hallway.

One of the smaller rooms serves as a tool room. They have everything. A computer with internet access in case anyone needed an email fix or anything...a Cricut...a fabulous time saver of a paper cutter...many other die cut tools, punches, scissors, and tools!

I wore my Christmas shirt to inspire me to work on my cards. I hoped to complete them today. It didn't happen, but I got so much done.

I knew meals were included in the price of our day, but I did NOT expect the extent of the food we received! Lunch started with a fancy schmancy salad with mandarin oranges, walnuts, and a raspberry vinaigrette dressing. Then they brought out our main course (all plated for us and everything). This chicken and its mystery topping were to die for. And yes, I ate all my veggies.

Objects in photo are MUCH smaller than they were in real life. This brownie was enormous - with little chocolate curls on top. I thought it only appropriate to eat the entire thing.

About halfway through the afternoon, we were served a delicious snack. A crafter has to keep up her strength!!

And what seemed like only 20 minutes later, we had dinner. Salad, meat loaf, potatoes, green beans, dinner rolls....I couldn't even breathe anymore.

...but I found a tiny spot for the apple cobbler. After all, I needed a serving of fruit.

And just so we didn't get too hungry as our time there came to an end....a few more snacks appeared.

The Craft Hideaway is in a beautiful old house down a long lane...tons of original detail. Beautiful, beautiful place.

The crafting room was ideal! We each had extra space because we didn't need all the spots. But they had little tables with lights and cup holders and trash bags and lots of opportunity to have fun with friends. Be sure to check out the link at the beginning of the post to see the bedrooms upstairs - so cute!

Sarah won the first of three door prizes at the end of the night. She was excited!

And despite all the picture taking and eating, I did have time to crank out the guts to 140 cards!

So that's my plug for the Hideaway. Seriously, seriously, seriously...if you're in the area, this is worth it. Charming, lovely, cozy, wonderful.

Thanks, Fall-O-Fun, for being the best ever!!

Procrastination...

...seems to be the name of the game lately.

It is now officially November 11th (dangerously teetering on November 12th, I might add) and I am mortified to announce I have not even created this year's Christmas card design. Normally I'm well into production by this time. So Saturday has been officially designated a hard-core Christmas card production day. My goal is to complete as much of the entire project as possible in one day. Oh why do I procrastinate?

Praying on the Run

Sometimes I work out by running on the indoor track at the gym. Ten laps make a mile, so I have to count every lap to make sure I get in enough to count for the day's requirement. I have been known to try to count laps on my fingers, but it never fails...I get sidetracked and forget to keep the correct number of fingers curled into my palm.

Therefore I adopted the praying on the run method. I have written out two sets of index cards, and as I run around the track, I work my way through one set. I pray about the content of one card per lap.

The set I prayed from this evening is a (good) challenge for me, so I thought I'd share the content of the cards with you over the next few weeks. Maybe you can give me more insight. Maybe you can adopt or adapt the prayers for yourself.

Everything on this set of cards came from a book I read a couple of years ago. It's called The Best Thing I Ever Did for My Marriage. I love to read books about marriage, because I figure this is boot camp. Might as well work on my character as much as I can before I get married. It can only help, right? This book is a compilation of ideas from different authors, and I picked my twenty favorite ideas for my cards.

Card #1

"When two people join hands in marriage, there's a good chance their differences will collide like two gasoline trucks on the interstate." - Dennis Rainey

Prayer thought: Blending of differences to achieve a harmonious and productive marriage.

Opposites attract, right? I have observed many marriages, and I've learned that some couples do a fantastic job of blending those differences in such a way that allows them to achieve twice as much as they could alone. Of course, I've also known a few colliding gasoline trucks.

How does a couple learn to blend rather than collide? That I do not know. Perhaps I can't know it until I get there. Perhaps a big chunk of it is God's work behind the scenes - maybe even work that is accelerated by the invitation of prayer. I don't know.

So that's praying on the run...card one. If you have any suggestions for being a blender, not a colliding tanker, I'm listening!

Bits for Sunday, November 8

This weekend I went to a writer’s conference down in Indy. I told one of my friends that Jesus and I became extra close as I encountered the surprise installation of a roundabout on my path to the conference location. Okay, so they didn’t wake up and install it that morning just to make me crazy. It has been a year since I drove that way. But still.

After praying my way through that roundabout (and defying various known rules of the road in my maneuvering) I enjoyed the chance to learn helpful practices and techniques. One of my favorites was the session in which I learned how to be even more OCD about my editing. In fact, when he teaches that workshop again, I think he should change the title to “OCD Your Way to the Perfect Manuscript.”

One session I attended was about writing devotionals. When I started writing…way back in the day…I was a fiction writer. During college and shortly after, I wrote mostly devotionals. Then I moved on to Bible studies, which is where I still spend most of my time.

But recently my love of the devotional has been rekindled. Part of it is a challenge. I’m wordy. I don’t have to tell you that. Bless your hearts, you sit and just read and read and read every week. Motor Mouth grew up to be the Saga Story-Teller. Writing devotionals forces me to condense – something I usually reserve for milk.

While the speaker in the devotional session encouraged us to write on unfamiliar passages, I’m going to share with you one I wrote just recently on a very familiar passage…but when I studied it a few days ago, I saw it differently than I ever had before.

Matthew 28:16-20 says, Then the eleven disciples went to Galilee, to the mountain where Jesus had told them to go. When they saw him, they worshiped him, but some doubted. Then Jesus came to them and said, “All authority in heaven and on earth has been given to me. Therefore go and make disciples of all nations, baptizing them in the name of the Father and of the Son and of the Holy Spirit, and teaching them to obey everything I have commanded you. And surely I am with you always, to the very end of the age.

Some doubted. Jesus’ own disciples – men who had lived with Him and observed His teachings and miracles on a daily basis for three years – doubted. Their lives had taken drastic turns in those three years. The lives they had so easily and naturally lived until Jesus’ arrival were transformed into lives that beckoned them fiercely away from what they knew…and yet sometimes made no sense and offered little normalcy.

And just as it began to develop its own routine, it all changed. Jesus was arrested, He was crucified…and then He was alive again and requesting them to meet Him on a mountain side. Maybe the disciples should have known better, but they doubted.

I’m glad they did. I’m glad Matthew vulnerably shared their uncertainty because it reshapes the way I read the Great Commission. Jesus wasn’t barking orders or even ceremoniously “tapping” his successors. He looked out over the faces He had lovingly taught in His ministry and He saw their doubt. He saw their fears. And he understood.

His response was to affirm them. He still saw in them the men He knew they could become. And the time had arrived for them to choose whether or not they would move forward with what He asked of them. He reminded them of His authority, issued by God the Father. And He gently urged them to go. He urged them to teach others to obey, which would require that they first must live the obedience themselves. And He reminded them of His constant presence.

I didn’t walk the dust of the earth with Jesus, but I have seen Him work. I have heard His voice…His commands. I have communed with Him. And yet sometimes I doubt. I feel ugly before Him when I do…I chastise myself because I should know better. But Jesus sees who I can become if I choose to move forward.

Home Again, Home Again!

The cats have nearly forgotten who I am. I've basically been the fly-through-and-fill-up-the-food bowl girl this week. In fact, a couple of nights ago, I walked into the bedroom and saw Kaegan sacked out near my pillow.

A little too sacked out.

You need to know that one of my greatest fears of adulthood is coming home to a dead cat. I'd have to call 911. I don't do dead things.

So when I saw the very sacked out Kaegan, I began calling his name in a somewhat desperate fashion until I saw his ear twitch.

Whew.

Feeling guilty about my lack of involvement, I decided to stretch across the bed and spend some quality time with the little guy. I was there about a minute, just listening to him purr...telling him how much I loved him...when I felt something moving.

Under me.

I didn't know Braeya was napping under the covers.

WOOPS!

So that's been the cats' impression of me this week. The girl that flies through, fills up the food dish, yells at and suffocates perfectly innocent nappers.

But my absence from home was well worth it. I was able to attend a writer's conference this weekend! I went last year and thoroughly enjoyed the workshops, the contacts, and the great advice offered by writers, agents, and editors. This year felt a little bit easier...a little more comfortable...since I knew more of what to expect.

My mind is already overflowing with ideas for my next steps (and, not surprising to many of you, my latest idea to redecorate the office). Time to reload the "writing coffee" jar and get busy!

Ranch Pasta Salad

In case you haven't noticed, I have a bit of an aversion to cooking or baking from a box. I always feel like I'm cheating. This recipe is one of my "ditch-the-box" acquisitions. When I was first out of college, I learned to like pasta salad. I say "learned" to like, because I had a firm belief that pasta should be hot. Eating cold pasta seemed about as appetizing as cold fries. But I learned to like it anyway. For a long time, I made my pasta salads from a box, and they were very good.

And then I had company one night and wanted to serve pasta salad. I could not bring myself to feed them a boxed salad, so I found this recipe. It was easy, it was colorful, and I deemed it a keeper. I will warn you that the broccoli starts to taste a tiny bit funny after a couple of days in the salad, so I wouldn't eat it for days on end. But that is my only complaint!

The Recipe:
3 cups uncooked tricolor spiral pasta
1 cup chopped fresh broccoli florets
3/4 cup chopped seeded peeled cucumber
1/2 cup chopped seeded tomato
1 bottle (8 ounces) ranch salad dressing
1/2 cup shredded mozzarella cheese

Cook pasta according to package directions; drain and rinse in cold water. In a large bowl, combine the pasta, broccoli, cucumber, tomato an cheese. Drizzle with salad dressing; toss to coat.

I've been known to make this salad with other versions of pasta, but the tri-color really is the prettiest. I do use low fat dressing and it works just fine. Now and then I'll also throw in some pepperoni and black olives because I love them.



This time when I made the salad, I actually wanted to assemble it on my lunch hour. So the night before, I chopped up all the veggies and put them in dishes. I felt like such a Paula Deen just dumping my prepared ingredients into my bowl. LOL. I bought grape tomatoes and just cut them into quarters for this. It's far less messy than contending with a big tomato.

...For those of you who have never seen pasta cooking before....

Make sure you rinse off the pasta well with cold water or it will end up melting your cheese!

I had to transport this salad to a carry-in, so I decided to use my Pampered Chef Batter Bowl to mix it up. That way I had a handle and a lid and the whole nine yards. :) I put in everything except the cheese and dressing, and mixed that up.

Then I added the cheese...

And finished it up with the dressing! I did this on my lunch hour and then right after work, I added a little more dressing so it was nice and fresh for serving.

Mrs. Lee (my home ec teacher) would be so proud. COLORFUL!!!!

Singing

When I was little, I longed to be a famous singer.

Sandi Patty, to be exact.

I'd stand in my room with the curling iron in my hand, dragging the cord through my other hand like I saw the soloists at church do, singing from Sandi's Hymns Just for You tape. I learned her part. I learned all the background vocal parts. I sang, sang, sang.

I used to sing solos in church, even. (Little known fact about Bekah.) Last one I ever sang was My Father's Eyes by Amy Grant. It was during that solo that I realized for the first time exactly what I was doing, and it completely petrified me. Hence the last solo.

Now I'm a shower/car only singer. I love music with all my heart and dearly love to make a joyful noise. I fire up the computer every morning, hit YouTube for some great songs, and sing while I straighten my hair. I play music in the car...at work...during my workouts at home...you get the idea.

I get goose bumps during good anthems. I've been known to clap with joy while driving, which I'm sure is only a step above texting behind the wheel, but it's true. It happens.

Anyway, last night while I was working on my little workbook assignment (that you'll probably continue to hear about for weeks on end...sorry...but not really), I was directed to Zephaniah 3:17. Zephaniah. A highly under-studied book, I'd say. It says "The Lord your God is with you, he is mighty to save. He will take great delight in you, he will quiet you with his love, he will rejoice over you with singing."

I've read the verse before, although granted, not recently. But I just loved that. This God who took time to knit me with far more good qualities than I recognize without prompting is delighting in me, even this very minute. And He's rejoicing over my drama-filled life...with singing.

I don't remember if I've blogged about this next part before, but I'm multi-tasking and can't research at the moment, so if it's a repeat, I'm sorry. When I was at the Extraordinary Women Conference, one of the worship team girls sang a solo. The song was written and originally recorded by Kari Jobe. If you search her on YouTube, you can hear her music and some of her testimony, which definitely displays her deep love for the Lord.

This particular song is called You Are For Me, and the first part says:


So patient, so gracious, so merciful and true
So wonderful in all You do
You fill me, You see me
You know my every move
You love for me to sing to You

I remember sitting in that arena...thinking of the fabulous girl who sang that day..."Well of course He loves for YOU to sing to Him. You rock!"

But I'm learning that He delights as much in my somewhat off-pitch car singing as He does in her totally spot-on singing in front of 3500 women. Because just as He rejoices over me with singing, He really does love for me to sing to Him.

Really.

Bits for Sunday, November 1

Earlier this week, I posted about my encounter with the workbook question. You were kind and left me some sweet comments, which led me to think further about the situation.

The verses Angela focused on were from Psalm 139:

For you created my inmost being; you knit me together in my mother’s womb. I praise you because I am fearfully and wonderfully made; your works are wonderful, I know that full well. My frame was not hidden from you when I was made in the secret place. When I was woven together in the depths of the earth, your eyes saw my unformed body. All the days ordained for me were written in your book before one of them came to be (vv. 13-16).

As you may remember, Angela challenged, “List three things you are thankful God knit together in you.” And I have to tell you – it stumped me. I thought of one thing right away and wrote it down. I thought of a second thing that didn’t really need to be put into words, so I determined to just scribble down “you know what this means.” And from there, I remained stumped.

Stumped and a little embarrassed. God had worked so hard to knit me, and it wasn’t that I thought I was a bad person or lacking in some way, but there’s something very panic-inducing about being forced to think of your own good qualities.

It reminded me of a retreat I spoke at a few years ago. The whole retreat was themed around 1 Timothy 1:6 – “For this reason I remind you to fan into flame the gift of God, which is in you through the laying on of my hands.”

During the early moments of our time together, I handed every woman a small gift bag and a stack of blank paper. They were to write on the slips of paper the good things they recognized as gifts in the others there that day. I sat back and watched as they looked around the room, thinking of the perfect things to write about the others before they started scribbling.

Once they were done writing, we passed around the gift bags, and everyone deposited their thoughts into the others’ bags. Then I watched as they dove into their “gifts.” Some cried, some looked amazed, and all of them seemed very thankful to be reminded of what was good within them.

Why is it always easier to see the gifts and the goodness in others than it is to see it in ourselves? And yet what a gift it is to be encouraged about the person you have become.

So this week you get an assignment. (Working in a school has finally gotten the best of me.) I challenge you to find at least one person in your life and randomly surprise him or her with a note, an email, a phone call – something – that offers affirmation about God’s knitting work. Be a blessing – and I’m pretty sure you’ll get one right back!