I haven't had too much to say on here this week. Had it not been for my trusty prayer card, I'm not sure what I would have done...posted a recipe, maybe?
My mind has just been so full, and not always in a good way. This week, for all of its good moments, has also had a number of tears and hurts.
This is one such moment. A moment in which I'm sitting in the dark in my stairwell, with my box of kleenex and two very confused (or maybe they're just annoyed) cats. I'm glad these moments don't come too often anymore...the ones where I cry so hard I'm pretty sure I'm going to throw up, so I stop crying, because we all know I don't throw up.
I want to pray, but I have no coherent words...not even coherent thoughts. So all I can do is hope He can figure out the jumbled mess that is my brain in this moment. And I know He can. He somehow makes sense of hot tears and snot and mascara rivers.
I love people. I love to be with them. I love to listen (okay only sometimes on that one, but I do try...). I love to care and encourage. I love to laugh and make others laugh. I love to swap stories and hugs.
But sometimes all that leads to a lot of hurt. Caring so much and knowing I'm probably going to have my heart broken. Shouldering a burden until I almost can't stand up underneath it. Speaking a word and finding it to be the wrong one - which is the most common of all this Motor Mouth's problems.
And then it really hurts.
But even when it really hurts and I resort to crying on the stairs, I know...
...He sits in stairwells too.
2 hours ago
6 comments:
love you! wish I was there to give you a hug!
I wish you were too!
Love you!
Been having some mascara rivers here too lately. He sits in lots of strange places.
"Chewie", when someone loves people as much as you do, hurts happen more often than to those with indifferent hearts.
Remember, Jesus cried too. I'm sure he cried when he fell and scrapped an elbow or knee. I'm sure he cried when Joseph died. I believe He cried when in the Garden of Gethsemane. Yes, I know it doesn't say that in the scripture. It DOES say, however, that He was subject to the same things we are. (He didn't sin though!)
He ARE told Jesus cried when He saw the pain of Mary and Martha (and from the own pain He probably felt) when Lazarus died. We are told He cried out on the cross.
In the KJV in Isaiah we are told He was "well acquainted with grief".
I wonder how many tears Jesus cried that we don't know about. It would seem that tears, as well as joy, come with being a Christian.
Oh yeah, Chewie:
HHHHHHUUUUUUUGGGGGGGSSSSSSS!!!!!
(That's one great big hug!) ;-)
Tsofah - Thanks for the hugs - and the GOOD reminders of how specifically He understands!
Christina - Love you too - and I sent you an email! :)
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