May: Done

This has felt like one of my most disorganized months in a long time. It was a busy month...a month in which I faced a lot of change and uncertainty. My routines changed - sometimes by choice and sometimes by necessity, and it's just taking me a while to adapt to everything.

*I welcomed a new year of my life this month. Trying to top last year's birthday of an ocean-side vacation was not easy, but I still had a great time this year. My friends lavished me with attention and love and I so appreciated everything they did for me.

*In the world of writing...I was asked to write a devotional for a bridal shower (that was a new one for me!), and I wrote a speech which I delivered at the book club dinner earlier this month. Both pieces were very well received by my friends who read them; in fact, Rachel said the speech was one of my best pieces ever. Since I have some devoted-to-writing time coming up, I'm excited to be in this mode.

*Very aware of and grateful for God's protection this month. I can't go into details (right now anyway) of what happened, but I found myself in an unusually difficult situation and was just so aware that God was watching over me and that His angels aren't just wing-tipped fairy tales to make us feel better. They are mighty warriors fighting for His children every hour of the day (and night).

*In the land of entertaining...it was so much fun to have Rachel over a few times to watch TV with me. It was one of our favorite things to do when she lived on campus and I'd missed those times with her! Loved hosting Mother's Day, sharing a meal with Miss Jamie, having Marie in for Bible study, and of course - hosting another round of Pancakes with the Princess.

* In the kitchen...I tried a new cupcake recipe (didn't care for it), made the Twix bars you've now seen, tried a BBQ chicken pizza soup recipe (it was good!), made the successful ice cream lasagna recipe, and found a danish recipe that I cannot wait to try. If I thought I could eat a 9x13 of it by myself, I'd just make the thing today.

* Road trips! I went to Indianapolis twice this month (which is unusual for me) and over Memorial Day weekend, I hit the open road to visit my friend Jenna up near Chicago! (She's the one I visited last October on my way to Wisconsin. We decided we should meet up again, so this was the time!)

*Outside my normal schedule...I went to the Chick-Fil-A Leadership simulcast, attended Llita's book signing, celebrated with Rachel at her open house, went shopping with Kristin, started the new Bible study with Miss Marie, did a BUNCH of reading, finished teaching Sunday School (off the rotation for the next quarter), went to game night, survived storm after storm in what has to be one of the worst Mays ever in weather history, spent too much time shopping at Cato (they know me now), played my first game of Bocce, got to eat at SONIC, began working through some hard-core assignments from the Lord, and survived a whole month on extremely minimal sleep. :)

Stone Jar: End of May

Only in Bekahland

It's been a while since you had a good Bekah story. I thought you deserved one today.

Last week was pretty busy , and one day I needed to grab a couple of things quickly at Meijer during my lunch hour. I managed to score a front row parking spot (sweet!), ran inside, found what I needed, and headed to checkout.

The lines were reminiscent of the days of Wal-Mart. Only about five lanes were open and they were all backed up into the merchandise across the aisle. Fortunately, they opened a new lane and I was second in line. A semi-cantankerous middle-aged man was in front of me. The cashier said to him, "I'm sorry you had to wait." He shot back, "Not half as sorry as I am."

HA! I never have the guts to say stuff like that.

Anyway. That was just a bonus to the story.

I scurried back out to my car, dialing Mom on the way so I could tell her about the funny man in checkout. As I opened the door to the car and simultaneously said hi to Mom, I heard a familiar "clink."

My ring.

I knew it was loose but I didn't know it was in-danger-of-falling-off loose. But I knew that sound meant it had hit the ground.

Super.

I told Mom I'd have to call her back, threw my purse, phone, and bag in the car, and crouched down next to the car to search for the ring. I couldn't find it.

I moved to another angle, looked some more....nothing. (Oh and did I mention I was IN THE FRONT ROW?) Did I also mention I was wearing a DRESS?

Sensing no other choice, I got in the car, put it in reverse, and backed up a few feet. I hoped my tire hadn't crushed the ring and then switched to hoping no one would hit my car as it sat parked out in the driving aisle. How classy.

I scurried back up to the parking place and looked - nothing. I knew it hit the ground and not the inside of the car. I pulled in, parked again, left the door open, rested my head against the seat and said, "God, I already lost one ring to this weight loss. I really didn't want to lose a second one."

Just then I glanced to my left and spied the ring - under the SUV parked next to me.

Not. Happening.

I had no idea who owned that vehicle or how long they planned to make Meijer their home. I got back out of the car, dug my golf-sized umbrella out of the trunk, squatted down next to their car (after carefully scouring the parking lot for any people who appeared to be headed toward it), hoped no security cameras were capturing the free show I was offering in my skirt, and began raking that ring toward myself. It finally rolled close enough that I could grab it, and I did, in a hurry.

My face was as red as the stone in the ring. I shoved it onto my middle finger and drove away as fast as possible.

After posting that on Facebook, my brother-in-law commented "It's all over YouTube."And you know what? I fully expect that a some point in my only-Bekah life, I will become "one of those" YouTube messes.

It's the Weekly Recap!

* Last Sunday was a true day of rest. I so needed that. Marie came over in the afternoon and we kicked back to discuss our first Bible study chapter. I've missed meeting with her and studying with her. I have a feeling God is going to do some serious work in us through this study! I spent the rest of the day in the fat chair, watching TV, reading, journaling, blogging, and playing online.

* Monday I had a surprise visitor at work! My former roommate, Angela, was in town and stopped by to see me. She's about to begin work on her dissertation while battling cancer - all at the age of 34. Her tenacity amazes me. So proud of her.

* Tuesday evening, as you already saw, was Pancakes with the Princess/The Biggest Loser Finale.
The pancakes were a success - they both LOVED the cinnamon swirl recipe - and as I said a couple of days ago, I was thrilled with the outcome of the show. Love the inspiration that Hannah and Olivia provided this season. Can't wait to see what they do with their lives!



* Wednesday was crazy storm day. I feel a little guilty complaining about our storms when there are so many who have been truly devastated by tornadoes this week...and I know full well from the days of the Greensburg tornado just how horrible that is. I am not making light of it. But while I'm thankful for our protection so far, I'm sick of rain every day. Mom took this picture during one of the many storms that hit us Wednesday:
That's just how our skies look now. Ev.ry.Day.

Wednesday evening, I was asked to take pictures at church for the finale of the kids' ministries. The elementary and junior high students banded together to make homemade ice cream. YUM!!
* Thursday we had a farewell lunch for Rachel at work. Four years of serving as our student worker has come to an end. Sadness indeed. We had a carry-in of Mexican food, because that's her favorite. I took dessert because that's my specialty. I tried a new recipe - ice cream lasagna. HUGELY loved by my office. You know what that means! You'll be seeing it on here!



* Friday we had a rare treat: jeans day at work. I adore jeans days. Since we don't get them very often, I had to make sure I got full documentation of it. Even our boss wore them! (She's vehemently opposed to denim in the work place.) She made it almost to 11 a.m. with jeans on before she switched to regular work pants.


* Saturday I went to my friend Jenna's birthday party and ended up playing my first ever game of bocce. My team won. Three times. (More on this later.) But please do note that my opponent Neil...was apparently harboring some not-so-secret aggression toward my mad skills.
Books I'm Reading: Read my daily devos in Sparkling Gems from the Greek and Jesus Calling. Also did some reading in the early part of the week from The Hole in Our Gospel, Writing About Your Life, and How Women Help Men Find God. (It's a book Rachel loaned me a while ago, but I'm just now getting to it.)

Favorite God Moment of the Whole Week: It's getting harder to pick just one! This week's came during the night one night when I woke up shaking and sick to my stomach - and I knew it was Satan getting at me. I got out of bed, paced the bedroom, prayed and quoted Scripture and felt such peace the whole time. I love it when I can sense the Lord's guidance and His approval when I do something right in my walk.

Update on Last Week's Goals: I should have read more, but I did get some reading in from the writing book. And God has provided PLENTY of direction on the prayer projects. I'm grateful.

Goals for the Coming Week: I want to get my scrapbook caught up (end of May has been busy!), get my birthday thank you's written (dreadfully behind on that) and clean up my bedroom. I'm almost embarrassed to be sleeping in there.

Cassie Graduated!

May 4th, 2008...one year after the Greensburg tornado, my niece graduated from high school. Remember that? When she had to give a speech because she was co-valedictorian? And she got her diploma from President Bush?

Well, ladies and gentlemen, it's been three years since that day. Three years since she graduated from high school with honors on her mom's birthday. And this year...she graduated (early) from college...with honors, no less...on my birthday!
That's my girl! For a few different reasons, I didn't go to this graduation...plan to go visit them a little later this year, and I'm really looking forward to that. But Mom and Dad drove out for graduation and I'm just now getting the pictures from the festivities. Let the record show, I'm pretty proud of Mom for the pictures she took. She's not a Bekah-razzi. But she did a good job.

(Although she did call me from her seat to find out how the zoom works on her camera. Seriously? I'm driving in the ghetto of Indianapolis because I'm not smart enough to trick my GPS and you're going to call from 16 hours away to see if I can mentally recall how to zoom your camera? Sigh of love.)

Here's the graduate with her parents, post graduation. Cassie told me later that the ceremony made her nervous. I would have thought speaking in front of President Bush would have ruled out any future of nerves, but then again, I was also threatening to throw up when I graduated from college. Too many people staring! So I felt her pain - on a smaller scale.

(Isn't Lori's shirt cute? I gave her that for her birthday.)

And the beautiful graduate with my parents:

She gets her height from me. :)

CONGRATULATIONS, CASSIE!!! I'm so proud of you for getting through in three years...getting through with honors...and just plain getting through! (Senioritis is a beast, isn't it?) You are going to LOVE adulthood and its lack of homework. (The trade-off, of course, being mornings.) Can't wait to see you soon. LOVE YOU and PROUD OF YOU!!

Devoted

This past Sunday was my last Sunday to teach junior high Sunday School (at least for a while). Our church uses a rotation system so the teachers don't get burned out...and I've taught for the last two rotations.

I just had one of my girls - and the one who showed up is the one who usually surprises me (in a really good way) with her insight and deep thoughts. The lesson covered the section of Scripture in Acts where the early church met together and devoted themselves to sharing in prayer and sharing with those in need. (Loose paraphrase.)

We talked about what it meant to be devoted. Her definition was that it meant the people were faithful and consistent in what they did. I thought that was a good way to put it. I asked her if she thought our churches today - not just our immediate church, but churches in general - were really devoted. We decided we are not. Not like that early church in Acts.

Our discussion stuck with me, because just a day earlier, God gave me a new assignment. It's a humbling one. Humbling because He could have given it to anyone and He chose to give it to me. I don't take lightly the responsibility that comes with it.

I want to tell you about it - but there are parts of it I have to respect privately, so I won't go into complete detail.

I have a friend that means so much to me, I couldn't tell you about it if I tried. He's been in my life for years and has been a gift God has used over and over to teach me about Himself. I love him deeply - in the way two kindred hearts love.

And he doesn't follow the Lord.

We talk about it from time to time. He knows where I stand. He knows all the things a person should know about loving Jesus. He was raised in it the same as I was.

And within the past few days, the Lord has laid on my heart an enormous burden to pray for him. To go to war for his heart. To do more than toss a "please speak to him" prayer Heaven's way.

In short, I've been called to devote myself to prayer for this man's heart.

To be faithful to pray - even when my schedule is busy. To be consistent in prayer - even if I don't see anything visibly changing in his life. To press forward when Satan presses back - as I know he will. To not give up - though something more appealing to my prayer life may appear.

It's a huge task. But the potential in his heart is unmistakable. When I think of the things God could do with him if He could have free reign in his life, I get literal goose bumps. How can I not devote myself to prayer?

Sunday, during church, God also pressed on my heart to use the book of Colossians as my template for these prayers. I love these words I just studied and prayed for him. I share them with you today because if you're in the middle of praying for someone's heart, I think these are incredible words to speak:

...we have not stopped praying for you and asking God to fill you with the knowledge of his will through all spiritual wisdom and understanding. And we pray this in order that you may live a life worthy of the Lord and may please him in every way; bearing fruit in every good work, growing in the knowledge of God, being strengthened with all power according to his glorious might so that you may have great endurance and patience, and joyfully giving thanks to the Father, who has qualified you to share in the inheritance of the saints in the kingdom of light. - Colossians 1:9-12

Pancakes with the Princess: May

May went flying by and I realized I was running out of time to host Pancakes with the Princess. Seriously - where did this month GO?

Since the Biggest Loser finale was on the schedule for this week, I asked my friends Greg and Angi if they wanted to come over for pancakes and then stay to watch the finale with me. We all love that show so much. (Greg and I water cooler talk Biggest Loser every week at work.)

They arrived in this massive deluge that hit Marion - but fortunately the power (mostly) stayed on and didn't interrupt our dinner.

Angi helped me with the cinnamon swirlies on the pancakes. (We did that version since there were just three of us.)
It was like a little art form. I was impressed with her swirling skills!

I don't usually have a ceiling cam while I'm cooking. LOL.

This was also the maiden voyage of my new griddle. I am so excited about this purchase! I found it about a month ago - on sale for $30 and I had an additional $10 off coupon. So it was a $50 griddle that I got for twenty bucks. Sure beats the snot out of making three pancakes at a time in my itty bitty skillet!

The official spread - orange juliuses, Amish breakfast casserole, and lots and LOTS of pancakes. Oh - and check out the cute new summer dishes. I mentioned those a while ago. I heart polka dots. Love my dishes!

Greg - making the most of every last drop of that orange julius.

We went ahead and made up the rest of the batter because they do make great leftovers. We were proud of our artwork!

Greg thought it was appropriate to have round two during the Biggest Loser. HA!

It was so much more fun to watch the finale with my friends. I am blown-away-inspired by Olivia and Hannah. Loved seeing them in the final two and LOVED the outcome. Those girls are just the real deal, and I could not have been happier. I didn't even care who won once it was down to the two of them. GREAT season.

30 Days of You and Me: Day Twenty

Today's topic? A Hobby of Mine.

I'm now convinced there will never be a topic to which I have one simple answer. My apologies.

So here are my hobbies...in no particular order.

1. Scrapbooking. I started scrapbooking right after college and have loved it ever since. In the the last year, I switched from traditional scrapping to digital scrapping, and my company of choice is Picaboo.

2. Writing. I love to write. I write when I scrapbook, I journal, I write devotionals, I write articles, I write blog posts, I write books. I write...write...write!

3. Cooking. As you might guess from the amount of recipe posts that show up on this blog, I love cooking! Cooking, baking, recipe hunting, sharing what I make - LOVE IT.

4. Stamping. I'll admit - I've not done this one in a while. I sort of quit during the desert out of a sheer inability to focus, but I haven't given up on it as a hobby. I started doing this in high school, because it was my attempt to keep up with my artist friends, despite lacking artistic talent. After college, I worked as a consultant for Stampin' Up! for several years. Love making cards!

5. House Hunting. Online that is. Probably one of those huge time wasters, but it's one of my favorite things to do on Sunday afternoons. I just love seeing what houses look like. (And house hunting is much cheaper than moving. HA!)

I think that's it! How about you? What are your hobbies? (I might need a new one. Fill me in.)

Tacos and Games

Saturday evening, I got together with my high school buddies for another game night. I just have to pause for a second to say that I really appreciate these friends of mine. I'm not sure how common it is for people to really stay connected with high school friends so many years later, but I'm glad to still have these friends who want to hang out.

We normally have pizza, but Cara thought it would be fun to have a taco night, so we did. Homemade salsa and guacamole...tacos and chips...and I took Twix Bars.Yummy!

And then...the games. We played a new one called Like Minds. Phats and I were partners, and we won. Three times. Guess we have the same brain! (Not sure what that says for me. KIDDING, Phats!)
This is me with Heather. She's gotten a haircut since our last game night - so cute!! Heather is smart and can outwit me any day. Remind me not to go up against her in Survivor. :)

We played Apples to Apples. It was more my speed. Oh and look! I won!

Cara and I were teammates for Password. Have y'all played that? It's HARD! The four of us only lasted one card before we cashed in for an easier game. But please do let the record show that Cara and I won this one!

I was not so fortunate on Dutch Blitz. Final score - Phats, Heather, and Cara all had around 100 points. I was still in the negatives.

But I remain proud of myself for playing games at all. Our Bekah is branching out and growing up!

Twix Bars

Several weeks ago, my friend Whitney sent me a link to the Hoosier Homemade blog - and more specifically, to the Twix bar recipe. It reminded her of the toffee cracker recipe I make, and she said she thought of me when she saw it.

I wanted to make it right away but I kept forgetting to pick up club crackers at the store (and apparently to write it down on the shopping list). So...I just made it for the first time this month, and I absolutely fell in love with it. I made a 9x13 for work and they gobbled it right up. I took it to game night this past week, too, and they declared it a keeper.

So - full credit to Hoosier Homemade (a blog that also has a number of other yummy looking ideas) - but here was my experience in making Twix bars!

The Recipe

Club crackers (approximately 50 crackers)
1 cup graham cracker crumbs
3/4 cup brown sugar
1/3 cup white sugar
1/3 cup milk
1 stick (1/2 cup) butter
2/3 cup creamy peanut butter
1 cup milk chocolate chips

Line half the crackers in a greased 9x13 baking dish. Combine graham cracker crumbs, brown sugar, white sugar, milk, and butter in sauce pan and stir until boiling. Boil for 5 minutes. Pour mixture over crackers, then top with remaining half of crackers. Refrigerate for 30 minutes. Combine peanut butter and milk chocolate chips in microwave-safe bowl. Melt and spread over crackers. Allow to harden, cut, and serve.

I have incorrectly represented the butter in this picture. It's half a CUP, not half a STICK. Make sure you get the whole stick of butter! I was also very excited to see Meijer has their own brand of graham cracker crumbs. Little cheaper!
Line the pan with the crackers - I can get about 9 crackers per row, but depending on the shape of your pan, you may be able to put in more or less.

The pan doesn't have to be huge. I put in the crumbs and sugars first.

Then I add the milk and butter. I cut the butter into small pieces first to help it melt faster. (Because, you know, I'm impatient that way.)

When you first start stirring, it will be thick and grainy from the crumbs.

It smooths out as you begin to stir. Make sure you stir constantly or the sugar will burn on the bottom.

It will start to look like this as it goes into a good boil:

Pour over the crackers....

Add the second layer of crackers, pressing them down into the caramelized mixture. Be careful not to burn yourself!

When it's time to put together the frosting, measure out the peanut butter and chocolate chips. (I put in a little more than a cup because one can never have too much chocolate.)

I melted it for about a minute and it stirred into this smooth mixture.

Spread onto the top of the crackers.....

Happiness.

Be prepared for no leftovers!

It's the Weekly Recap!

* Last Sunday was, as you already saw, the continuation of my birthday bash. Lunch with Amber, dinner with Marie. But Amber and I went shopping after our lunch, and I was so excited about this find! Easter egg wreath for 70% off! I had my eye on some similar wreaths at Meijer after Easter, but they were much smaller and more expensive. I was glad I waited. I've wanted one of these for several years!


* Monday evening I needed to get away from home for a while, so I started out at a committee meeting at church, and then I went to visit my friend Laurie. She talked me into visiting her new pet mice.
I knew you wouldn't believe I got that close without proof. I did make her put the lid back on top before I got this close. It's still a big step.

* Tuesday morning was the carry-in breakfast for the May birthdays. Would you believe in an office of 13 people, 4 of us have May birthdays? The rest really stepped up and threw us a great party! Last year I was devastated to have no pictures of the carry-in because my fellow birthday buddies refuse to be in pictures. This year I did at least get this. So I've upgraded from devastated to very sad.
*Wednesday, during my lunch hour, I went shopping and picked up these beauties. I've had my eye on them for a long time. DARLING.


And my friend Judy treated me to McConn in exchange for some writing I did for her. God bless the caramel macchiato freeze.

* I had Thursday morning off work, and as I finished my plans and drove back home, I passed the little loan company where I worked right out of high school. I'd not seen the girls who work there for years - ten or more, I'd imagine. I had a few extra minutes, so I stopped in to see them. Lots of memories of that little company and my entry into the real world! (Like my cute new dress?)
* Friday night was a first in Bekahland - first use of fresh herbs. Bought my first bunch of cilantro and used it in trying a new recipe that I think is a keeper: BBQ chicken pizza soup. Sounds strange, I know, but I liked it! And I made another round of the fabulous Twix Bars. (I didn't put the cilantro in that, FYI.)

* Saturday evening I had game night with my high school buddies. I think this was our second get-together this year, and it was much fun! I even won a couple rounds of things - which is nearly unheard of. One of my wins? Apples to Apples:
Books I'm Reading: I've been a little bit of a reading fool this week! I continued in my devo books of Sparkling Gems from the Greek and Jesus Calling. I met my goal and FINISHED Jody Hedlund's book The Preacher's Bride. So good. Can't wait for her second one to come out this October! Re-read a chapter in In a Pit with a Lion on a Snowy Day for my chat with Olivia. (Scary how perfect the timing is the second time around.) Finished the first chapter of the book I'm studying with Marie - Entrusting Your Dreams to God, started reading Writing About Your Life (which is my first book to read on the craft of writing...in years. I have a goal to read a little bit each day in preparation for my concentrated time of writing coming up.) AND - as if all those were not enough, I began and FINISHED Heaven is for Real - all in one night. WOW. If you've not read that book, you MUST.

Favorite God Moment of the Whole Week: Friday during my lunch hour, I went to one of my favorite prayer spots to rest and pray. While there, God gave me an assignment that has the potential to utterly exhaust me, yet I'm so excited about what it will do in the grand scope of my life.

Update on Last Week's Goals: I finished Jody's book, I finished the writing project, and I caught up the scrapbook. AND I got the yard mowed just short of needing to buy a goat. Good grief.

Goals for the Coming Week: I want to be diligent about reading in the writing craft book so I can focus my thoughts for my own writing. God has been disciplining me gently about my prayer life. It needs some work; I'm not being as effective as I know I can be. I am not sure what changes I need to make, but I want to work on it.

Discipline

It seems that since I've started the SSMT journey, I only write about verses on those days. Today is not such a day. Today I just want to share with you the details of the lesson God taught me a few days ago; the lesson that was my favorite moment with Him that week.

Here is the verse that sprang to mind as I was living that moment:

No discipline seems pleasant at the time, but painful.

Later on, however, it produces a harvest

of righteousness and peace

for those who have been trained by it.

Hebrews 12:11

As you know from the last couple days of reading, last year was particularly painful for me as I went through the whirlwind journey of falling in love and then watching as Isaac walked away from me, leaving me to wonder what God possibly had for my future and if I could ever trust again. (And I'm not just talking love. I'm talking any sort of relationship...friendships, coworkers...even family.)

This year has been a beautiful season of re-entering life. My appetite has returned, I can sleep again, and I have thoroughly enjoyed the beauty that has been this year. (Minus that one stupid ice episode in February.)

And in the middle of all this re-entry to life and such, I've settled back into routines that have teetered on trying to control my own life. Again. God gently reminded me of the dangers of that when He introduced the come undone theme to me during Lent. And it's just gone in a million directions since then.

One of the beautifully scary things that has happened to me this year has been the introduction of new friends to my life. They've wandered my direction in a variety of ways. Some were planted there...some were accidental encounters...some were discovered as paths merged. And I've cautiously reached out, deeply desiring new friendships to enrich my life but so afraid that each one will end up hurting me in some way, or worse...leaving.

One eveing, I went out to walk and while circling laps, I had a chat with God about this dilemma of my life. Because I become too bold for my own britches, I informed Him that I was not interested in trusting if trust was about to lead to hurt.

He responded with This is where I need you right now. This is a purposefully ordained friendship. You two need each other right now. This is your assignment from me.

In sheer panic, I shot back, I don't like those words right now. I've been hurt too much. If my friends are not planning to stay forever, I can't do it. Please don't make me.

And He said, sternly but with that gentle Abba love, How arrogant of you to say You don't want an assignment I have for you. How arrogant to think I can't sustain you in ways you can't fathom, if your friends move or choose to leave.

Ouch.

I confessed my wrong attitude right there in the middle of my workout.

Okay, Jesus. You made this heart of mine. You know how it wants to hang onto every friend its ever made and love everyone who comes near. But if You see fit to move friends in and out, I trust You. I trust You to bring comfort when I ache. And for now I commit to being the very best friend I can be. Even if it's just for right now.

Pottery: Part 2

If you missed yesterday's post, you need to read it or this one will make no sense.

That piece of pottery I talked about yesterday was just a little clay pot. I purchased it after a ladies retreat I attended years ago. We used the pots that weekend to wash each other's feet, and I knew I wanted that piece of pottery to remind me to serve those around me. I loved it and kept it in my home as not only a reminder - but also a decoration.

While clearly I grieved the loss of Isaac and grieved the loss of the relationship I knew God ordained, I was also just flat out mad about losing that silly blue pot!

I was mad because I loved that thing and had big plans for it and now I don't even know where it is. Maybe he kept it. Maybe he put it in storage. Maybe he's decorating his house with it. Maybe he threw it away so he could forget all about me. I have no clue.

Last Saturday evening, after my day-o-fun in Indianapolis with Cara, I met up with Lara, my mentor. She came into my house clutching a gift bag with two little presents inside - and I loved them so much! Then she giggled and clasped her hands and said, "Close your eyes! I have one more present, but it was too big to wrap!"

Don't have to tell me twice!

I closed my eyes, and when I opened them, this was in front of me:
I love this thing. It is so HGTV, I cannot even possibly tell you. I have big plans for it and have already scoped out the giant curly twiggy things at the craft store. Oh yes. I'm going to love this thing in my house.

Lara (oh how I wish you could know her) talks 100 miles a minute, and as she gushed with such joy about the treasure this piece is, I heard these words:

I know it's not for foot washing but I hope you love it anyway.

The next day, as I walked through the living room, I looked at the pottery and it hit me.

It's not for foot washing. It's for a whole new purpose. A yet-unknown purpose. It is a giant promise sitting in front of me - and I don't know today what it will become. I don't know where it will end up in my house, I don't know what I'll put in it, and I don't know what it will look like.

I do know I love it.

I thought back to that hot August day at Isaac's house. I asked God if He wanted me to shatter that clay pot and He said no. He said to leave it. And I did. I left it in Isaac's hands and drove away. And it's never mine to know what happens with that dream now. That pot represented what God had spoken over my heart regarding the relationship I shared with Isaac. I placed it in his hands, symbolizing my willingness and desire to love and serve him. And then I left him to decide what to do with it. And other than knowing he didn't choose me, I'll never know what he did choose - in his heart or with the pottery.

But I have a new clay pot now. A massive, beautiful, heavy clay pot with all its mystery now sits in my house. It's big. It's beautiful. It's not purposed for the same things as the one I owned before. It doesn't look anything like what I had before. But that makes it no less real or important.

Such is my future. Big. Beautiful. Unknown in every way. But I believe it holds promise. Why He would see fit to entrust me with something bigger than before is baffling to me. But I promise to do my best with it - whatever it is and whenever it comes.

Pottery: Part 1

I guess two part posts are my thing this week!

Remember last year when you read about the desert? I eventually felt led to stop posting about it because God needed me to move out of the heaviness and I couldn't do that while reliving it here each day. But I want to take you back to a piece of it you've not seen before. You need this to understand what I want to tell you tomorrow.

As you may remember, Isaac and I never lived near each other for our entire relationship. So whenever we saw each other, we had to make an effort to meet up somewhere that we knew people we could stay with - or one of us had to find a place to stay (remember my flat iron catching on fire in the hotel?).

Last August, we met for a weekend in his hometown, in an attempt to see if there was any hope for our future. Things went very well for the first half of the weekend. Then something happened. To this day, I don't know what it was. I remember the moment his countenance changed and after moments of heavy silence, he told me he couldn't continue. He was done. Really, really done.

The next morning, while he went to church (and I couldn't go with him) - I spent the morning in my Easter dress, fallen on my face on the cement slab of a shelter house in a nearby park, sobbing and crying out to the Lord. After crying until I nearly made myself sick, I collected myself, walked back to his house, and we had our final conversation. I've written it as I said it to him - so just imagine that you're Isaac.

Back in July, after the debacle that was the fourth and the non-ending of the wilderness, I was praying about you, and God impressed upon my heart that when things were better between us and healed in our relationship, I needed to wash your feet as an act of love and service. (Don't worry. I'm not really going to do that right now.)

When I was packing to come here this weekend, I remembered my piece of pottery and thought about bringing it, but knew this was unlikely to be the right time for such an event. But even after I'd walked out the door, God brought it to my mind and said, "Take it." And I said, "It's not the time." And He said, "Take it anyway." So I did. And I've left it in the trunk all weekend until now.

This morning when I was praying, I asked God why it was so important that I bring this pottery, since clearly it's NOT the time. And He reminded me of this excerpt of Angie Smith's book I've been reading:

"Every one of us is given alabaster jars in our lives. Moments that have been chosen from before there was time, where we will follow the promptings of the Holy Spirit and glorify our Father with our offering…Is it possible that we are chosen to undergo something when all the while the Lord knows that it will be given to Him in sweet surrender?...Maybe you have been called to take care of the gift. Maybe you are guarding it for a day you have yet to see. Maybe you are watching it, reserving it, waiting for the moment the Lord comes and redeems it all….He has not forgotten. He has heard you call. He may wait to come to you…continue to worship the Lord, keeping what He has given you until the moment you are called to give it away. And as the glass shatters all around you and you grow dizzy from the intoxicating smell of pure love, get as close to His feet as you can. And know this. It was always meant to fall from your hands. And He is glorified in the shattering." (From I Will Carry You)

And so I asked God - did You want me to bring the pottery to break it? And He said, "No. I want you to leave it." And so, I am leaving this with you. I love you and want to serve you…but I know you are not ready. But I am going to leave this here with you as an act of love and service to you and to God. You said yesterday you aren't pursuing me like you should. So I will leave here today and do what you've asked. I'll leave you alone to hear God and to heal. And when your heart has healed and you can pursue me, you come for me. You come find me and you bring this pottery and I will wash your feet.

So...I sat there for the longest time thinking "Say something!" And Isaac squeezed my hand and said, "I will put this on my dresser where I can see it every day and remember what you said. And I WILL listen and I will heal."

And I never saw him again.

The Birthday Bash - Part 2

I've had too much birthday fun to cram it all into one post!

After I came home from my day of fun in Indianapolis, I met my mentor, Lara, for more birthday fun! This is one of the gifts she gave me - and I'll tell you what - it's a God thing. It may not look like it just sittin' there all pretty in front of me - but it's a God thing. As soon as I can sort it all out in my head, I'll share it with you.
Then she took me to Kokomo to Olive Garden where I somehow found a tiny spot to put more food - and we caught up. We'd not seen each other for too long. I love this girl! We took this when we got home. She looks ROCKIN'. I look like I've only had 2 hours of sleep in the past 24 hours. Oh wait. I had.

Sunday morning, my birthday was announced in church, whereupon (is that a word?) the entire congregation sang to me and my face turned the color of the shirt you'll see below.

After church, I met up with Amber (who recently helped me paint the living room) and we went to Hacienda for lunch and then browsed a couple of stores just for fun.

I went home, took a 10 minute nap, and then headed to Marie's for a birthday dinner! Well, first, the presents:

New mats for my porch!

She worked so hard to make a superb dinner. We had a Mexican bake and then this hea-ven-ly dessert. Oh my word.

And I'm still celebrating! I had lunch Monday with Miss Jenny and she even treated me. :) And yesterday was the carry-in at work, where I ate something you'll be seeing on this blog very soon. Revolutionary.

The Birthday Bash - Part 1

Last Saturday was my birthday, so I thought I'd show you how I spent the day!

If you're not from around here, you should know we've had one of the worst springs ever. It has been cold (and for ME to say it's cold is really saying something) and rainy almost every single day. I'm so over it. My plans for my birthday were all outside, and though I normally don't bother God with such things, I prayed and prayed it would be a nice day.

And while the sky looked very suspicious when I got up Saturday morning - the day was gorgeous.

Cal (my GPS) and I went to Indianapolis, where he took me the scenic route: over the river and through the ghetto. I think I need to figure out how to outsmart him. I met up with my friend Cara (of game night fame) and we went here:
Right downtown! Cara loves Indianapolis and found out that they offer free walking tours of downtown, so that's what we did. We ended up being the only two people in the tour group, and our guide was very good. She took us around Monument Circle and pointed out all kinds of stuff we didn't know about the city's history. Though this isn't on the circle, we could see the State House:

And this darling church. It's the oldest church in continuous use, she said. We even went inside and it was magnificent. So regal.

Loved the church next to the tallest building in the skyline.

I learned a lot, but one thing I didn't know is that there's a shadow law. If you're not familiar with Indianapolis, the very center of downtown is a huge monument - the Soldiers and Sailors monument. The law states that the buildings around it can't cast a shadow on it. So she explained that the building below was designed like a pyramid so the top floors wouldn't cast a shadow. Who knew!?

Our friend Phats wanted to go with us but he had to coach that day, so he couldn't come. So....in the tradition of "Flat Stanley" - if you've ever heard of those - we had Phats Stanley! He really enjoyed his walking tour. Mostly because he rode in my camera case.

After the tour, we walked around a little bit on our own, and then Cara took me to a local treasure: The Creation Cafe. It's in an old church and overlooks the Indy Canal. So very cute!

We were able to eat lunch outside - and this was our view of the canal while we ate. I love places like that!

I ordered a chicken quesadilla and it was YUMMY. They didn't skimp on the chicken and cheese, which in my mind - is the mark of a good quesadilla.

Phats Stanley liked it too.

Inside the Cafe, there was a wall covered with people's names and messages...so of course, we had to leave a note! Cara wrote her name....

And I wrote mine. Man, I wish God still did this kind of stuff!!

We were STUFFED, so we decided to talk a walk along the canal. The Canal District in Indianapolis is pretty stinkin' nice, and they have huge sidewalks on either side of the canal. There were bikers and runners and people walking their dogs and others just out taking a stroll. We saw families having picnics on the lawn and prom goers and graduates having their pictures taken. There were also people riding bike carts that seated four - and in the canal, people were enjoying kayaks and paddle boats. It was kind of like an afternoon out of a movie!

She took me to a spot probably a mile down the canal that has this amazing view of the downtown buildings. I loved it.

So did Phats Stanley.

We were pretty tired after half a day of walking, so our last stop (per my request) was at this little (literally tiny) hole in the wall cupcake bakery called The Flying Cupcake.

So much to choose from!

Cara got a chocolate chip cookie cupcake....

And mine was called "Happy Birthday to Me." It was chocolate cake with heavenly chocolate frosting and multi-colored sprinkles. And - it was free because it was my birthday. SWEET!

It truly was a perfect day - and I was so thankful the weather was wonderful. Cal and I left Cara's, I managed to outsmart him into taking a normal route, and just as I was leaving Indy, I hit a downpour like I've never seen in my entire life. Not even kidding you. I'll have to blog more about it later because it was kind of pivotal, but let's just say if that had happened earlier, it would have ruined the whole day!