That piece of pottery I talked about yesterday was just a little clay pot. I purchased it after a ladies retreat I attended years ago. We used the pots that weekend to wash each other's feet, and I knew I wanted that piece of pottery to remind me to serve those around me. I loved it and kept it in my home as not only a reminder - but also a decoration.
While clearly I grieved the loss of Isaac and grieved the loss of the relationship I knew God ordained, I was also just flat out mad about losing that silly blue pot!
I was mad because I loved that thing and had big plans for it and now I don't even know where it is. Maybe he kept it. Maybe he put it in storage. Maybe he's decorating his house with it. Maybe he threw it away so he could forget all about me. I have no clue.
Last Saturday evening, after my day-o-fun in Indianapolis with Cara, I met up with Lara, my mentor. She came into my house clutching a gift bag with two little presents inside - and I loved them so much! Then she giggled and clasped her hands and said, "Close your eyes! I have one more present, but it was too big to wrap!"
Don't have to tell me twice!
I closed my eyes, and when I opened them, this was in front of me:
I love this thing. It is so HGTV, I cannot even possibly tell you. I have big plans for it and have already scoped out the giant curly twiggy things at the craft store. Oh yes. I'm going to love this thing in my house.Lara (oh how I wish you could know her) talks 100 miles a minute, and as she gushed with such joy about the treasure this piece is, I heard these words:
I know it's not for foot washing but I hope you love it anyway.
The next day, as I walked through the living room, I looked at the pottery and it hit me.
It's not for foot washing. It's for a whole new purpose. A yet-unknown purpose. It is a giant promise sitting in front of me - and I don't know today what it will become. I don't know where it will end up in my house, I don't know what I'll put in it, and I don't know what it will look like.
I do know I love it.
I thought back to that hot August day at Isaac's house. I asked God if He wanted me to shatter that clay pot and He said no. He said to leave it. And I did. I left it in Isaac's hands and drove away. And it's never mine to know what happens with that dream now. That pot represented what God had spoken over my heart regarding the relationship I shared with Isaac. I placed it in his hands, symbolizing my willingness and desire to love and serve him. And then I left him to decide what to do with it. And other than knowing he didn't choose me, I'll never know what he did choose - in his heart or with the pottery.
But I have a new clay pot now. A massive, beautiful, heavy clay pot with all its mystery now sits in my house. It's big. It's beautiful. It's not purposed for the same things as the one I owned before. It doesn't look anything like what I had before. But that makes it no less real or important.
Such is my future. Big. Beautiful. Unknown in every way. But I believe it holds promise. Why He would see fit to entrust me with something bigger than before is baffling to me. But I promise to do my best with it - whatever it is and whenever it comes.
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