In Which We Find a New (Possibly Temporary) Normal

You know how dearly I love a new year, and for this one, I worked hard to develop a plan that would help me be more purposeful in running after goals and better habits. It was all nerdy and color coded. Ridiculously wonderful is probably the best term for it.

And then, you know. Emergency Room visits and doctor appointments and all manner of things that had not been pre-scheduled in any color on the pretty pages of my planner. (I told Ryan yesterday we should probably just throw in the towel, buy a pill sorter, and go on with our lives.)

Suddenly all the meals that I had so carefully planned out and shopped for had to be modified, because right now, Ryan can't have...well, it's probably just fastest to say most foods. We eat a lot of Mexican spices and tomato-sauce laden foods, and pretty much all of that is out right now. No sloppy joes. No turkey burgers. No lasagna. No chicken taco soup. No nachos and cheese during football.

And my wifely skills were taking a pretty sharp beating with every single can of chicken noodle soup I popped open and dumped in a saucepan to heat up.

While I've been banging on the door of Heaven begging God for healing/answers/anything that pushes us in the right direction, I've also been struggling with satisfaction with our now.

All 26 alphabetical dates that I pre-planned last year and we were supposed to start this week have to be put on hold because they all contain foods Ryan can't have right now.

All my menu planning had to be redone. In fact, it straight up felt like all my cooking skills had to be re-learned, because suddenly, he can't have anything we ever eat.

All our days had to be scheduled at the last minute, because I never knew if we might have to pause for a new doctor's appointment or another ER visit. (And I'm the kind of girl who will pull an all-nighter to finish crossing stuff off my list because I can't abide by undone to-do lists.)

So this past week was a great opportunity for God to reshape my spirit a bit. A chance for me to relearn what really matters, and none of it includes my plans. A chance for me to find joy in serving Ryan through learning to cook new dishes and learning to put aside the things I've been so excited about to make room for new, more urgent focuses, like finding healing for the long haul and a semblance of normal for our now.

Yesterday I happened upon this post by Josh Buck, who I've known almost my whole life, but who I know most from interviewing him and his wife a couple of times back when I worked at WBCL. Josh was paralyzed in an accident ten years ago, and he has struggled with multiple health problems in the time that has passed. The post tells of his latest hospitalization and the extreme, horrific pain he's encountering. I read every line, about all the medications, all the decisions that have to be made, all the ways one thing affects another, and suddenly, learning to cook chicken in 34 new ways really didn't matter anymore.

And because I've read enough of what Josh's wife has written, I know her normal has been changed about a million times, and yet somehow she approaches it with grace and see it as an opportunity to serve and find a new angle to keeping the vows she made years ago.

So our days don't always go like we plan them (in color) in our pretty planners. And sometimes we have to find a new normal. Or a temporary normal. And it may feel awkward at first, but it really is a privilege in its own way. The key (which I will not claim to have mastered yet) is to look at it that way.

I'm grateful for Ryan. I'm grateful for our life. And if I need to learn to live on chicken for the foreseeable future and if we have to postpone our fun alphabetical dates for a while, we'll do it. Because what matters most is his health and finally seeing a smile on his handsome face.

Happy Thanksgiving/A Little Christmas Shopping

Happy Thanksgiving, my friends!

I'm not going to presume that just because a day has been declared the day of thankfulness that all of you are swelling with profuse thanks today. I've had some years when I would have dearly welcomed a one-day hibernation until this day passed. It was too hard to pretend to be all happy and thankful when life was hard, and I don't even like Thanksgiving food, to boot!

So if today is that day for you, if your heart is heavy for whatever reason, I send a little bloggery hug your way today. It's okay to not be okay. It's okay to struggle to be thankful. It's okay to know you have a million things you should be thankful for, but somehow you can only focus on what brings hurt.

But can I encourage you to find a moment sometime today when you sit until you think of one thing you are thankful for? Genuinely, legitimately thankful for? And then give thanks. It may not change everything, but it might just bring a measure of joy that you hadn't known was still inside you.

I know I told you this last week, but it bears repeating: I am thankful for all of you. You travel this way {some of you every day} to check in on the latest in our world. You love us. You encourage us. You welcome us into your lives with your comments or your own blogs, and I am thankful for you.

Someone else I'm thankful for on this day is the guy who has come to make an annual Christmas shopping trip way more fun than it should be. {Also...every day. He makes every day more fun than it should be.}

But anyway, yes, we did our Christmas shopping last Saturday. We awakened to the first snow flurries of the year, which seemed very appropriate for a Christmas shopping day. It was actually a pretty miserable weather day for driving around and running through parking lots and hauling packages, but that didn't seem to stop the greater population of Indiana from venturing forth to all the stores.

We started with a breakfast date, because everyone knows you can't shop on an empty stomach:

We concluded we looked terrible. TERRIBLE. But then again, it was early.

I was a bit ridiculous with my organization. I had made out lists of everyone we needed to shop for, and I had the whole thing sticky-noted and color coded and hole-punched! I took some ribbing from fellow customers and workers alike, but I stand by my system!

Ryan takes his shopping seriously:

We knocked out a lot of our list that morning {those stories are on the podcast if you missed it}, and then we stopped for a little lunch and blew back to our car:

You should have seen Ryan's hair.

We did more shopping, and at the end of our push/shove through an overcrowded Costco, I told Ryan I just needed a cookie. JUST GET ME A COOKIE.

{Also: somebody get me some lipstick!}

We had the best little date in the back corner of the Panera. Fresh brew and a snacklet.

I was thankful for the cookie, too, by the way.

Ryan, thanks for a fun day out, for dropping me off/picking me up at the doors and carrying the bags. You are a great shopping partner! :)

And thanks for all you do every day. I am so thankful for you! :)

Just Thankful

Thanksgiving rolls around next week, and speaking of rolls...anyone looking forward to indulging in one of those during the holiday meal? My mom is a great roll-maker, and not surprisingly, it's one of the gifts I did not inherit from her. That...and pie making...and candy making. It's all very sad. So whenever she makes a batch of rolls, I like to save a carb up and have one. They're worth it.

But even though we're still a week away from Thanksgiving, it's not too early to be thankful, and I thought today would be a great day to do just that here on the blog!

A few things I'm thankful for...in no particular order:

* This house and the journey to get here. When I think that ten months ago, we had not even stepped foot on the property, and now it feels like we've always lived here, I think that calls for some major gratitude. Everything about finding the house, purchasing it, renovating it, settling into it, and now enjoying it brings about a major swell of joy in my heart.

* Our new city. I wasn't scared about moving to a new city, but I was curious how the transition would go, since I'd lived my entire adult life in Marion. But it's been such a blessing to be closer to our family, to be able to be involved in helping them when they need something, being able to be included in things that we were too far away to be part of before. This place suits us.

* Those who carry the baton. This year we said farewell to the Bekah-mobile and to our first home together. While we try not to be overly sentimental, those things did matter to us, and in both cases, we passed the baton to people who understood the love and care we had put into them and promised to carry that on. And we've heard that both are thriving under new ownership, and that makes us happy.

* Our new church. We have begun attending a church closer to home, and while it was hard to leave the place where we worshiped for the last 3.5 years, we've begun to settle in to our new church home. We're starting to learn names, we've found a seat to call ours, and we've been welcomed and embraced already, which is a huge answer to prayer.

* Phoebe. Since I still haven't convinced Ryan that Shafferland needs a dog, I'm grateful for Phoebe. We get to watch her semi-regularly, and she is such a fun little girl. We love how excited she gets when she sees us, we love how she adores cuddling, and Ryan particularly loves what he calls "joint custody." All the fun without the expense. Maybe that's why he sees no need for a dog of our own...

* New opportunities. This year brought about a host of new opportunities for me. Speaking in new places, writing new material, freelance work, podcasting, working from home, chasing dreams, releasing a new book...WOW! What's not to be thankful for there??

* Tuesdays at the Table. This little idea we conjured up and threw into motion at the end of the year has been such a blessing to us. We have loved actually having time to open our home and welcome in friends and family, and my goodness - do we ever have a growing list of people yet to invite! {And if you want to come visit, give us a holler!}

* Great friends. From those who pitched in to help us with all the aspects of moving, to those who have included us in their happenings this year, to those who keep in touch even though we may live a great distance apart, I'm reminded that we both have many wonderful friends. That is a huge blessing!

* You. Hanging out with you every day when you come to visit is a complete joy. I look forward to talking with you in the comments, hearing your stories, and sharing with you. THANK YOU for coming over so regularly and allowing us to be part of your days!

* Ryan. I can't close out a list (and this is by no means a complete list of what we're thankful for) without including Ryan. I am thankful for how hard he works to provide for us, how he supports me in my dreams and makes me feel like I'm making a difference in our home, and how he shows his love in a million ways. I'm thankful for the dreams we've conjured up for the future and for all the exciting things yet to come!

So that's a few thoughts from my head...now it's your turn! What are you pausing to be thankful for this week?

It's a PRAISE PARTY!!!!!!

For the last five years, I have come to you with the same prayer request. Post after post, time after time, interrupted by spurts when I tried to give you a break because I felt you were as weary of hearing about it as I was of talking about it. And yet you were always so gracious.

But yesterday. Yesterday.

This.

 God. Sold. Our. House.


It was a day that I confess I feared may never come. And that included yesterday morning when I woke up and got out of bed. I'd heard horror stories of buyers who didn't show up at the closing and figured that sounded about like something that would happen to us. And yet even with the fears that I allowed {shame on me!!} to burn wild, I had this underlying peace straight from the Lord that this would be okay. That this buyer wouldn't bail.

For all the times I prayed and God said no {or wait}, there was a good reason. One of the best reasons is standing beside me in that picture. Had I been granted an immediate yes on this house sale five years ago, he never would have asked me out and we never would have gotten married. So that was a pretty great denial of a house sale.

And I'll be honest: I didn't just pray for God to sell the house. I prayed for God to sell the house to someone who could love and appreciate its legacy and who would use it for the Kingdom. Because that's what this house has always been about. Always. All the way back to when my grandparents lived there. Sometimes I hated praying that prayer because I feared I was sealing my own delay/denial on a sale. Why couldn't I just pray, like a normal person, that the thing would sell? On the double???

Because I knew the house was meant for more than just an owner. It was meant for a Christ-loving caretaker and the right one wasn't ready yet.

I met our buyer back on the first day we moved into our present house. Ryan had come on over to demo the wall in the new house and I stayed behind for the home inspection of the first house. The buyer arrived and shook my hand, looked me in the eye and promised me he would love and care for the house the same way we had. He had found my blog and read my posts and knew the house was more than just a structure. It had a legacy and he would carry it on.

And I knew he was trustworthy. A kindred soul of sorts.

So we waited. The thing we seem to do best and love the least. We waited for paperwork. I panicked a few {dozen} times and texted our {longsuffering} Realtor to say what if he changes his mind and runs away and this house never sells and they take away our new house? God love her. She was patient and talked me down from more than one seller-ledge.

Last week we heard the news. Wednesday, May 4 at one p.m. Closing. And still I couldn't exhale. Those horror stories blared in my mind.

I kept a nervous eye on the phone all day yesterday. What if she called and said it was off? That he'd gotten cold feet? {For the record, I did not worry about cold feet ONE TIME in approaching my wedding. I paid for it with plethora of house sale fretting.}

She didn't call, so we got in the car and drove to town. She didn't call, so we made our way, hesitantly, onto the street and before all four wheels hit the pavement of our own street, I saw that beautiful red beacon of a sold sign perched on top of the everlasting sale sign.

And I cried. Happy, happy tears. We hadn't signed yet, but if she had put up the sold sign, I could at least breathe for a minute.

And right there in the front lawn, we had a praise party. Cars drove by and we ignored them while we leapt and wept in front of a sold sign - capturing the moments from a timer and a tripod across the street.

So we went to the title company to sign it all over. We met our dear buyer, who again immediately assured us of the good plans he had for this house and the love and care he would offer it.

We gave him gifts and our heartiest congratulations - easy to do when we knew our beloved home would continue to be fully beloved.

And I have to pause to thank our Realtor. Five years ago, I listed this house with a woman named Susan, who worked for this same company, and for close to a year, she tried to sell it. Within the last two years, we listed the house two different times with Molly, also from this same company, and she worked hard to sell it. In the end, it was Cathy who made the sale, but I wanted to mention all three, because in my mind, all three were part of this story God wrote. The other two may not have made the final sale, but they worked with me {then with us} and were kind and trustworthy in trying to help us. The entire time, I knew God was the real Realtor, and He would pull out this sold sign when the moment was right.

Even so, Cathy has been a joy to us. I met her almost twenty years ago when she and I both worked in Financial Aid. I actually took her position when she left the school and I ventured forth on my own. Who would have known that all these many years later, she would come back into my life and be part of this pivotal step in our journey?

It was a beautiful day, the signing. After all the signing was done, Ryan, Cathy and I joined hands with our buyer and Ryan prayed over him and over the future he will have in that home. {And I cried, because that is what I do.}

And then it was done. We breathed. All the way out. And all the way in again.

It felt appropriate to celebrate with my coveted annual strawberry shortcake:

So the day may be done, but the praise and celebration continues heartily. We are so thankful. Thankful for the whole story, for the lessons learned in the hard times, and for the immense blessing of being back to one home again.

Thank you...so much...for all the times you prayed for this sale. We celebrate WITH YOU because you were part of this with us.

Gratitude

We've had a handful of in-the-scheme-of-eternity-unimportant problems of the first world variety in the past week. They were maddening in the moment, but they made for funny podcast fodder. Enjoy!

Click here to listen. 

I've enjoyed an extra helping of gratitude this weekend, and I just wanted to share.

Ryan was gone overnight this past Friday night, and that's not something either one of us particularly enjoys. It's not that I can't survive without him; my goodness, I survived for 34 years before he even showed up in my life. I can survive. But life without Ryan in the room leans toward not just lonely, but dreadfully void of unexpected laughter. 

And while I did manage to successfully distract myself in the hours he was gone on his retreat, I counted down until he could come home again the next day. When he drove up in front of the house, I threw my scrapbook to the side and ran to the door to welcome him. I was in the middle of a good thought and a productive scrapbook streak, but even as much as I wanted to finish my project, I was grateful to have him back. Grateful to hear his laughter filling the space and grateful for stories to absorb from the time he was away. 

Back when I was single, I heard a lot of wives long out loud for a break from their husbands, and I remember feeling jealous that they had a husband at all - and I couldn't understand why they wanted a break. Personalities are different, and I get that. Some people really do thrive on alone time, and there's nothing wrong with that. I'm just not wired that way, and for me, our weekend of absence-makes-the-heart-grow-fonder made me grateful for this gift I have and all the more determined not to take him for granted.

He hadn't been home very long before we headed out with the rest of the county for grocery shopping adventures. For us, it was just time to shop. For everyone else, it was the buy all the bread!!!! pre-snow panic. And indeed, when we awakened Sunday morning, we had a covering of snow that hid a layer of slush. And by the time we got out of church, the temperatures had slipped just enough that the layer of slush had turned to ice.

All afternoon, I read story after story after story about accidents, slide-offs, jack-knifed semis, power outages, and pleas from officials for people to just stay home. I rolled onto my back on Mo and settled in to watch movies while the wind chimes repeatedly bumped into each other outside the house. 

Ryan looked over at me and said, "If you still had to drive to Fort Wayne, you would NOT be this calm right now." 

I said, "Isn't this Bekah so much easier to love?" He nodded, perhaps a little TOO heartily.

It's true, though. Snow is easier to enjoy when I don't have to maneuver a vehicle in it. Sunday nights are easier to enjoy when I don't have to think about a messy Monday commute. 

Grateful. Grateful for my husband and grateful for the changes he's made possible so I can stay home and pursue dreams and cultivate our relationship. Grateful for snowy days that I can fully enjoy from the inside. 

Sure, life has its frustrations. Doesn't it always? But I am profoundly grateful for the good gifts I enjoy. I don't take them for granted. 

So. Very. Thankful. 

Legacy

Simeon is one of my favorite people in the Bible. Took me many years to unearth his story and realize the beauty and the value in his life, but once I did, he was an instant favorite. Simeon {if you haven't uncovered his story yet} was an old man who had received a promise from God that he would not die until he saw the Messiah.

Mary and Joseph took Jesus to the Temple when He was eight days old, and that was the day Simeon met - and held - the Son of God. The day the promise was fulfilled.

When I wrote the chapter on Simeon in my Advent book, I wondered what it would have been like to wait your entire life for the fulfillment of a promise. I wondered if he ever talked about it to others and if, along the way, people rolled their eyes and thought he was crazy. I wondered if he ever started to doubt that he'd heard God correctly. I wondered if, as years crept by, he began to fear he made up the whole thing.

This past Sunday, our pastor preached about Simeon and Anna and the legacy of their lives. He preached about how their faith was strengthened by the lifetime of work they'd seen God accomplish in not only themselves but in those around them.

Pastor Steve shared stories of people in his own life who had invested in him from their senior years and had been able to guide and encourage him out of the wealth of their own faith journey.

And then he reminded all of us that such people still exist. They exist in our own church and in the pews around us.

And then he brought them all to the front of the church.

 If you click on that picture to make it bigger, you'll see that stretching as far as our little camera could get, from the left to the right is a row {sometimes two and three people deep} of people 65 and older who have been part of the legacy of this church and of the lives of those of us remaining in our pews.

The picture isn't even as powerful as the moment was in real life. I'm not sure any of us escaped without a tear or two. We stood and thanked them with applause - for their faithfulness in lives that have had many mountains and valleys.

A handful of them read Scripture to us, and we listened while voices that have lived the truth of the words passed them forward to us.

And among that crowd were some I've known since I was old enough to have memories. People who attended the church where I grew up. People who invested in me personally.

Here are two:

June {in the red jacket} and Harold {in the black suit} are friends of my parents, and I've known them my whole life. June taught my Sunday School class when I was little, and she taught me to look up Scripture in the Bible. Harold directed the handbell choir and let this awkward junior high girl join and take a spin at something new.

I'm thankful for them and ALL the seniors God has put in my life along the way, from childhood to now, who have taught me by example how God works in life. And just a couple of days away from Christmas, I recognize the gift each of them are to me. {And Ryan has just as many in his life!}

Maybe this Christmas you can give the gift of a note or a phone call to one of the seniors in your life - someone whose walk with the Lord has encouraged you! Someone who has been faithful in leaving a legacy for you to follow.

 {This last photo courtesy of the College Wesleyan Facebook Page}

Thankful, Indeed

Well, I figure today, half of you will be sleeping off your turkey consumption from yesterday, and the other half of you will be out shopping. I'll be doing neither. I didn't eat any turkey and I am NOT a Black Friday shopper.

But did you have a good Thanksgiving? We did!!

It was so nice to sleep in {until Braeya decided we'd had enough and woke us up}. I had grand dreams of running a 5K {of our own} that morning and watching the Thanksgiving day parade, but instead, we slept in and I dyed my roots.

Before we headed out for the day's festivities, we worked to push Ryan's truck into our garage {yes, it's under the weather again}. When yours truly is half the muscle of such an operation, you can know you're in pretty big trouble. We strained and worked...and right about the time we had the truck completely blocking the road, a car drove up behind us. We felt horrible for holding up their travels, but we couldn't do much to make it go faster. Imagine our surprise when they hopped out and told us they lived down the road, saw us pushing, and drove down just to help us! Talk about thankful!! What a way to start the day!

We packed our crock pot of Swedish meatballs in the car and set out over the river and through the woods to find our Thanksgiving lunch!

This year was an unusual year in the land of Shaffer. It was the first time we did not go to my parents' house for Thanksgiving lunch. We went to Ryan's side this year, and it is pretty opposite from our get-togethers. Ryan's immediate family has more members than my whole family. We gathered for lunch at Ryan's aunt and uncle's house, and it was a "small" year with probably 30-40 people in the house.

 One of Ryan's cousins brought the appetizer I could have eaten for the entire meal: dill pickles wrapped in cream cheese and ham. Seriously...mouth watering just typing that.

We had a great time talking with cousins and family members we rarely get to see - and I had a good long talk with Ryan's grandpa, too! And somehow, by the end of the day, Ryan found himself outside with the kids:

We did stop by to see my parents on the way home, and we were home in time for a good nap before it was time to wake up and go to bed!

And can we just pause to mention how amazing the weather was? To be able to run around outside without a coat on Thanksgiving is a rare treat in Indiana!!!

Happy Thanksgiving!

Dear bloggy friends:

HAPPY THANKSGIVING!

I know this day can bring emotional collision for many of you.

Some of you are dreading it because of who might be missing this year, whether that missing person was there before and now is gone or has yet to arrive at all. Some of you are dreading it because you know it will escalate family drama or punctuate the truth that you're separated from family, even if family brings drama. Some of you are dreading it because you really don't like anything turkey or pumpkin.

But some of you are excited for it. Excited for a day off, a day of rest, a day with family. Maybe some of you are excited for the turkey and pumpkin.

Regardless of the camp you land in today, it's a day to pause and be thankful for what is good and right. Even if you have to think hard, there is something good and right in your world.

We're thankful, here in Shafferland, because we're wrapping up our third year of life together, and while it has been all kinds of interesting this year, we celebrate the things that have transpired since this same day last year.

* We are thankful our Greentown house sold. Last year at Thanksgiving, we were still biting our nails waiting for Ryan's house in Greentown to sell. It held {probably still holds, actually} the record for the longest sale in our Realtor's career. Not exactly what we were going for, but I guess it's good to hold a record in something. This year of just owning one home has been beautiful. And every time we drive by it, we're thankful for the family who gets to enjoy it now. They've had a hard year, and we hope the house has made it a little brighter.

* We are thankful for our health and the fine folks in health care. After a year of continued dental rehab AND gallbladder surgery, I am thankful to be feeling healthy this year. I'm thankful for insurance, for the nurses and doctors who took care of me, and for all the many friends and family members who came to visit and brought delicious food. And I'm really thankful Ryan is so great about health care. He was encouraging and helpful and a prayer warrior when I was so scared.

 * We are thankful for the change in seasons. Leaving WBCL was a hard act of obedience, but we are grateful we said yes to this major life change. This new season of life has brought about much adjustment, but it has also brought about much freedom and much rest that we had sorely been missing in our lives. I am grateful for Ryan's sacrifices so I can pursue writing and homemaking, and Ryan is grateful for the additional rest and free time he gets since he doesn't have as many home-chores anymore!

* We are thankful for Mo. That may be a first - a couch making a gratitude list. But last year, we stepped away from tradition and scrapped giving each other Christmas gifts so we could get our beloved couch {which we named Mo, in case you're new here and don't have a clue what I'm talking about}. It was one of the best investments we made in our daily life. We love Mo! He was so helpful on my gallternity leave, he's been a great place to curl up and read, to take naps, to offer to guests...we love Mo!

* We are thankful for new opportunities to serve. This year brought about a couple of new ways that we can serve together at church, and we have so enjoyed them. We get to help with greeting and with the little cafe, and both have been a blast for us. Sometimes finding your place in a church can be hard, especially when you go to a big church, so we've been thankful for these opportunities that come our way.

* We are thankful for simple. One of the big things we've taken on in the past year - and are continuing to take on in additional forms - is simplicity. Part of quitting my job was about simplifying. Taking on the capsule wardrobe project was about simplifying. And there are many other things as well. Getting to comb through our house and get rid of what we don't need was freeing. {And I'm about to go for round two.} Having a yard sale and getting to see the fruit of the labor was freeing and financially helpful. So we're just thankful to be at a place where we don't need more stuff as much as we need more simplicity.

* We are thankful for vacations. Vacations are a privilege, not a given. This I learned during about the first seven years of my post-college life when I could not afford one at all. :( So I am hyper-sensitive when it comes to appreciating the opportunity to sneak away, even for a little bit. This year we had the chance to spend a long weekend in Tennessee, a long weekend at the lake with Ryan's family, and a long week running around the eastern half of this nation. We are grateful for safety in our travels, amazing weather, and the beauty of this country that we got to see while we drove and hiked around. Thankful, thankful, thankful.

There's much more, but you have a dinner to go eat, I'm sure. Thank YOU, dear friends, for hanging out here with us, reading our adventures, and chatting with us in the comments. We say frequently that we don't understand why people want to come over and read our crazy stories, but sure are thankful you do.

We love you!!!

The Saturday Six

One.

Source

IT'S THE MOST WONDERFUL TIME OF THE YEAR!!!!!! Set those clocks back an hour tonight and get a whole extra hour of sleep in the morning. You can know we will be!! Goodbye, stinkin' DST. I might not complain about you on the blog as much as I used to, but I still don't like you!!

Two.

Source

This article is both truly informative and truly hilarious. It covers the grammar rules for writing your last name on a Christmas card without using an apostrophe {which most people use but it's not grammatically correct}. I hesitated to put this on the Six, because somebody might be planning to send me a card and will now strike me from the list, fearing I will be hiding on Mo with a red pen editing their card. I WON'T!!!! This is merely a helpful guide. The comments, though...read those for a good time. Fight! Fight!

Three.

Source

 Several years ago, I read a book written by a woman who faced an unexpected pregnancy. The book ripped me apart, because I was that baby in my family. I wrote some blog posts about it and many months later, discovered the author had found them and she left me a not-so-nice comment. I was sad I'd upset her, but I still get high blood pressure thinking about the delivery of her book. So when I found a link to this article by another mother facing an unexpected pregnancy, I was scared to click on it. But I did, and I'm so glad I did. Her words are laced with so much grace, and I appreciate the way she was able to blend honesty with kindness. I am so thankful for her approach, I can't help but share!

Four.

Source

Did anyone else LOVE Trading Spaces as much as I did? I watched it every single week from the second season on until it ended. {Most memorable episode? The one where the woman hated the brown room. I loved that brown room, but she sure didn't!} Anyway. Found this article about where the designers and carpenters and hosts are now! 

Five.

 You've been so kind to read about our vacation this week - and we have just a couple more days of recap coming up, but I thought you might like to see the VIDEO we made as well. We did about a minute at each destination and some parts of it are pretty funny. {Like when we get sidetracked by something we just said and stop to talk about it.} Hope you enjoy!

Six.

Source

I took a week of vacation from reading {when I was on vacation}, but now I'm back to reading and reviewing!

I asked to read Lauraine Snelling's newest novel, Streams of Mercy, mostly because I wanted to try something a little different in the fiction world.  Lauraine has written over 70 books, but I've not read any of them yet, so I figured it was high time I try a new {to me} author. I chose this one from the list because it had a different time period and historical background from what I normally lean toward, and I wanted to branch out a bit.

First let me give you the synopsis of the book. This is actually the third book in the Song of Blessing series, and it is set in North Dakota in the early 1900's. The little town of Blessing is getting back on its feet after an explosion destroyed the grain elevator and other buildings in town a year and a half prior. The citizens of Blessing are aching for spring after a hard North Dakota winter, and they work together to support each other as family. Anji Moen has just recently returned to her home in North Dakota from her husband's native Norway, where she lived with him and their children. After her husband's death, she brought the children home and finds herself wrestling with settling in, motherhood...and uninvited feelings for the minister in town. When a health crisis settles over the town and threatens lives of friends and strangers alike, Anji and Father Devlin find themselves wondering what the future holds for all of them.

I'll be honest...I struggled with this book. It's long {378 pages} and I was a good 100 pages in before the story captured me. Now, once it did, I was hooked. But that was a long wait to get to the capturing. And also in truth, I never did master the relationships between some of the people in the book. There are so many characters and so many relatives, and the names are heavily Norwegian, making it even harder to keep straight. To be fair, there is a family tree in the front of the book, but I didn't want to keep flipping back to it to keep everyone straight.

Maybe if I had read the first two books in the series, it would have been easier, but I finally gave up trying to keep the people straight and just tried to enjoy the story. There was also an infiltration of Norwegian words scattered throughout the conversations in the book, and while that was interesting on one hand, it sometimes distracted me from the story, because I had to stop for context clues.

The love story in the book was not as prominent as I anticipated it would be, which did not take away from the story itself, but it just surprised and disappointed me a little. I'm such a sucker for love stories. Given the ending of the book, I imagine a fourth story lurks somewhere down the road, and while I'm curious to know how some of the mysteries unravel, I'm not sure I will hunt down the fourth book to read it.

It's not that I didn't enjoy the story...I did. But I think I may have strayed a bit too far from what I enjoy in a novel's setting, so this one wasn't my most favorite I've ever read. Having said that, I do think Lauraine is a good storyteller and if the setting/historical aspects had perhaps been up my alley a bit more, and I'd read the previous books in the series first, I might feel differently about this one.

** Thanks, Bethany House, for sending a copy of this book my way to read and review. The opinions are all my own. *
*

Thank You Lord, It's Calmer This Year

You know how Facebook likes to remind you of your memories from a year ago on this day? Or two? Or three?

My feed has been flooded lately with pictures from three years ago. Three years ago when things looked a little bit like this:

Okay, so some things never change. We're still picture freaks with coffee in our hands. But this was day one of our engagement photo shoot. Day one of worrying about whether or not the weather would hold...if all the pictures would get taken before the sun slid down...if the hair would sit still on a breezy autumn evening...day one of marking things off endless to-do lists.

Days like this one:

 Days when my hair was bad but I couldn't do anything about it because I was growing it out for a wedding. Days when we took the ONLY free day we had for miles to come and spent it road-tripping to bigger cities to knock out important stuff like finding a wedding ring for Ryan, a wedding outfit for Ryan, outfits for our groomsmen, bouquets for our bridesmaids...and this stop at Build-a-Bear to make the honorary bridesmaid and groomsman bears for our posthumous duo.

Days like this one:

...when God was gracious enough to let me find "the one" on the second try. When something I liked online actually worked ON ME. Days when my family and friends and co-workers sacrificed their time and came to be part of one of the most memorable days.

Days like this one:

...when I had a bridal shower and a bachelorette party in the same day because it fit for the one weekend my best friend could fly into town for pre-wedding festivities. Days when I met people in Ryan's family I'd never met before and tried to keep all their names straight. Days when I opened present after present and tried to balance between lingering in joy and moving along for the sake of those watching. Days when I ate delicious food {but with the dress in mind}.


And there was so much more. Evenings spent designing invitations, writing our program, writing our ceremony, making favors, going over the detail list AGAIN...

That was then.

And I loved everything about that season. It was so short and I made myself focus enough to savor every little bit of it. I wanted to remember it forever, and I still remember.

But ohhhhhhhhhhhhhh how glad I am it's this year and not three years ago. Not because it was bad then, but because breathing now is such a joy. SUCH a joy.

Ever have a season like that? You loved it and cherish it...but you are thanking the Lord it's calmer now?

Monthiversary #32

Thirty-two months ago, it was Sunday. It was warm and sunny, and Ryan and I had our own version of church in the sand before devouring breakfast sandwiches, courtesy of a kind vendor who heard about some couple getting married that day, and upon finding out it was us, offered us sustenance.

A talented stylist curled my hair and my entourage of two ironed my dress while I labored to repeat the makeup lesson I'd been taught. And at the appointed time, I gathered up my billowing skirt in my hands and sneaked into a gazebo to whisper Ryan's name before he turned around and saw me as if for the first time.

Yesterday was Sunday. It was warm and sunny, and Ryan and I went to church before devouring breakfast biscuits around the table with our Sunday School family. I sported curly hair, held crunchy from gel and hairspray, and our dryer spun most of the wrinkles out of my dress while I spent the last two minutes at home adding makeup to my eyes. I gathered up my Bible and journal and whispered to Ryan I was ready...and he still smiled as if for the first time.

This man:

I appreciate him so much. He works so hard so I can have the luxury of not having a full time job. He goes out of his way to thank me for the hard work I do at home and in writing and in serving, and I appreciate that he notices. He supports what I love and challenges me to try new things.

Last week, as I cleaned and purged in our house, I found a stack of prayer journals, where many, many lonely, tear-filled nights found their way into words, and I begged God for a husband. I questioned and doubted and got angry and asked for forgiveness and recorded what I learned and whispered secrets of the single...and this man is the long-awaited answer to those prayers.

We've poured a lot of life into the last 32 months. Sometimes we get tired looking back over the scrapbooks that document the moments - amazed that we've had enough energy to pour so much living into so little time.

And I'm grateful for every moment. Even the ones that were hard, frustrating, and even flat-out maddening. The moments when houses wouldn't sell and surgery dates were wrong and cars died on highways and tires went flat and dresses wouldn't zip and work depleted us. Even in those moments, I'm grateful for Ryan and how he can always make me laugh and how he always lets me cry. I'm grateful to be the one to make him laugh and make his bad days better.

It began almost three years ago - this adventure. And yesterday we celebrated thirty-two months of marriage. Thirty-two months of waking up to each other and reaffirming that we still do. We still choose each other.

That in this dance of life - we're partners.

Flowers and Cards and Talks

I've been blessed to be a pretty healthy person throughout my life. I had a bout of strep throat in Kindergarten that ended up settling in my hip {Yeah. Figure THAT one out.} And I fell off my bike when I was eleven and broke my leg. Other than that - pretty healthy.

The nurse even commented on it when she was getting me ready for surgery. {Funny how I didn't FEEL especially healthy in that moment!!}

But if there's one thing I've learned from this little gallternity leave I've had...it's a fresh appreciation for reaching out to those who ARE sick.

* Words cannot express my outrageous joy at seeing the flower man pull up in front of my house with a bouquet for me. I know flowers don't thrill the soul of every human the way they do mine, but it sure did make my day to know someone was thinking of me and willing to make a phone call to order some flowers.

* To have people take time out of their busy days to put together a dinner to go and drop it by our house was a much bigger deal than I ever imagined it could be. We had SO MANY people ask if we needed meals, and in typical Shaffer fashion, we waved them away and declared we were fine. Ryan can cook. I was sure I would be able to cook in no time. But in truth, Ryan has been exhausted from working and then taking care of me {while still fighting that stupid respiratory infection} and I haven't even felt like warming anything UP, much less cooking. What a BLESSING to have meals dropped by.

* My mom gave up a day to sit and watch TV with me. A couple of friends came over to hang out and talk on their lunch hours. I know how precious lunch hours are. To know that people would sacrifice theirs to come and look at a girl who hadn't showered for a questionable amount of days  = priceless.

* Ryan's grandpa and my parents came to sit with him while I was in surgery. I was out. I knew little of it. But as scared as I was to go to sleep...I loved knowing I could fall asleep knowing people were with him. He didn't seem scared at all. I corner that market. But I felt better knowing he had support. Just in case.

* I hobbled to the door to get the mail...and found funny cards inside that made my side hurt. To know that people wanted to send a card just to cheer me up was a spirit-booster.

* People have texted and emailed to make sure I'm okay, which has made me feel so loved. You've sat here and read through the details of my surgery and recovery, which is kind beyond measure.

People offered snacks, coke and coffee runs, rice bags...and so many more things that I am afraid I'm going to forget one and leave someone out. But my point in saying all this is...regardless of what people did...whether it was a prayer, a text, or a meal, it let me know that having a village of friends is a good thing. It manifests in all different ways. One way was not more important than another. I didn't appreciate one more and one less. They have all come together in one big picture of love and care, and it has moved me to be more intentional.

We're all busy people.

We all have reasons why we don't have the time or the money to reach out to someone who is sick or recovering. And maybe, like me, some of us just haven't experienced what the need is like. We think it's no big thing...until it becomes our big thing. And then we know in a fresh new way.

So as you look around your circle of friends, what do you have that someone could use? Could be a few minutes of talking. Or a dinner. Or a sweet tea. Or a text. Or a prayer from wherever you are.

Thankful that God has used this season of forced down-time to teach me this lesson. Looking for specific ways to put it into practice!!