Things They Didn't Tell Me Before Surgery

I'm about to wrap up my two week gallternity leave, and while I admittedly balked at the doctor's recommendation of two weeks off work, I now see the wisdom in it and am glad I took it. This week has been much better from a discomfort perspective, but it's been {just as the doctor promised} a fight against fatigue and apparently - loss of brain cells.

They didn't mention that part before surgery. The part about losing my ever loving mind. The part that left me wondering just what all they took out while I was under. Did part of my brain go the way of all the earth alongside my gravel pit of a gallbladder?

Here's what happened.

I was given clearance to drive beginning 24 hours after surgery, but I knew myself well enough to know that probably wasn't a good idea. After my two dental surgeries, I was pretty groggy long past the prescribed time, and I had some major depth perception issues that made me steer clear {ha!} of the wheel for a while.

So after this surgery, my first time to hit the road solo was five days post-op. I drove about fifteen minutes away from home to meet some of my co-workers for lunch. I didn't drive again until this past Monday. It was our monthiversary and I so wanted to make that coconut cream pie for Ryan.

Alas, I didn't have all the ingredients I needed, and while Ryan offered to do any shopping for me that I needed, I didn't want him to know what I was making for his surprise, so I said I would do it myself.

In the early part of the afternoon, I prepared to go. I grabbed my purse and thought I better check to make sure my wallet is in there. Allow me to interrupt myself to say...where else would it be?? I'm not the kind of person who loses things, and even if Ryan had taken it out to get something from it, he would have put it right back. It was a ludicrous thing to check, but for some reason, the worst possible thing I could think of right then was to be at the store without my wallet. I found it safely in its spot and then messed around rearranging things and finding lip gloss - and all the important things any girl does before she shops.

At last, I climbed in the car and drove to Meijer. I sat in the parking lot and thought about the store - which, while not the biggest Meijer on the planet, is also not overly small. I was tired and still feeling so groggy, which frustrated me. As dumb as it sounds, I was just not in the mood for a big store and a long wait in line - which is almost always the case there. So I turned around and drove clear to the other end of town to a grocery store.

Since I wasn't familiar with their layout, it took me a little bit to find everything, but I did. I got in line and waited behind the nice lady buying her groceries. Another lady got in line behind me as I laid my purchases on the belt. I pushed my purse open to grab my wallet.

And it wasn't there.

Because when I went through the crazy rigamarole at home to make sure my wallet was there, you see, I had actually removed it from my purse and left it on the couch.

Oh good grief.

When the cashier reached for my items, I turned red and said, "Yeah...about those. I left my money at home. I'll be back."

And y'all, I fled that store as fast as my sore little body would let me go, went home, got that stinkin' wallet, and went right back to Meijer. No WAY was I going back to the first store! I was too embarrassed!! I found my stuff, got in the super long line and got out as quickly as I could.

I blame it on the gallbladder.

Who am I kidding? I blame everything on that surgery. Can't wake up? Probably because of the gallbladder. Hungry? Side effect of surgery. Tired? Need to nap after surgery!! No brains? They obviously took them out when they took out the gallbladder!

Please love me...your slightly less intelligent than she used to be friend.

{PS - but the pie was fabulous!!}