Do the Thing

What I'm about to say is not new. In fact, it's (I'm sure) not even the first time I've blogged about it. But it's one of those things that bears repeating, because for as simple as it is, we all seem to forget it. I needed a reminder this week, so maybe you do too.

This week was heavy in Shafferland. Nothing bad happened - no need to worry - but it was just one of those weeks when adulting piled up on us and no one likes excessive adulting. Hard conversations, hard decisions, lots of questions, lots of prayer, and a batch of chocolate chip cookies to survive the thing. (You've been there. You know it!)

I was actually in the middle of baking said batch of cookies - for Ryan, of course - when I went out to check the mail. Have I mentioned that the mail is my most favorite moment of the entire day? I think our mail carrier thinks I'm certifiably nuts because she knows I'm watching for her and sometimes even rush out to greet her as soon as she arrives. I'm such a toddler about mail!

Anyway. So I went to get the mail, and much to my surprise, I found this in the box:

What? Where did this come from? Is it really mine?

But it was right there with my name on a label. No mis-delivery.

Someone gifted me a subscription to the Magnolia Journal!

I had no idea who had done it, but I was one grateful girl, and after lunch, I curled up on the couch with a blanket, my coffee, and the magazine for a relaxing, heart-soothing hour.

Since I didn't know who to thank for this lovely gift, I took to Facebook and said how grateful I was, and I was so happy that my gift-giver spoke up! She wanted to thank me for helping her with something and so thoughtfully surprised me.

A couple of hours later, when I went to see Ryan at work, he handed me a card he'd been asked to pass along my way. I opened it and found the nicest note inside. Just kind, affirming words from a friend who wanted to brighten my day.

Suddenly the hard, adulting-filled week felt lighter.

Nothing huge, right? But isn't it astounding how small things like notes and thank-you gifts can lift the spirit?

I am trying to be better at paying attention to the little nudges in my soul when people come to mind. A quick text or a card in the mail or a batch of really good cookies to share - it doesn't have to be major. It's just good to reach out with an "I see you," or "I appreciate you." It goes a long way.

I'm reminding you and I'm reminding myself: when someone comes to mind, reach out. Do the thing. Show some love. We all need it!

The Saturday Six

One.

I'm sure you saw the video that circulated of the guy doing the BBC interview when his kids busted in the room where he was Skyping. HILARIOUS! (If you haven't seen it, you need to!) Found this article this week that gave a bit of the back-story on his wife and kids. That part where the wife comes flying in with the look of utter mortification is my favorite. That would so be me!!

Two.

This is kind of fun to read! The worst decorating trend from the year you were born. It starts in 1950 and goes clear up to this year! I don't hate every trend listed here, but there were some definite blasts from the past to be found!

Three.

If you're feeling rather overwhelmed by life, this post is a great read on the reasons we need rest and how God designed us to not always live "a pressure cooker life."

Four.

This item falls under the category of things I don't need but want to tell you about in case you have the need! It's pretty nifty for parents! One of my friends posted about it on Facebook this week. They have a a full fireplace/hearth in their home and bought one of these HearthSoft covers to put over the cement hearth. Their one year old took a spill this week and because he hit the cover, he was fine. Might have been a different story with the bare cement hearth! My friend declared in her post that it was super comfy to sit on and lean against, great quality, and easy to order. So if you have a hearth and kiddos, it might be worth the investment!

Five.

I know Bible journaling/bullet journaling/drawing in Bibles is a BIG trendy thing right now, and honestly it's not a bandwagon I've jumped on. I've told you I've been writing out some Scriptures each day (podcast to come on this - it's a good one!), and that has helped me learn parts I'd missed before. But I found this post this week on Bible journaling, and I thought she had some good ideas hidden in there. I still wouldn't be able to do the drawing, but I like some of her other ideas! They are within the scope of my abilities. :) 
 

Six.

Last week, I finally read The Magnolia Story by Chip and Joanna Gaines. I know. All of you probably read it months ago, when it came out! What took me so long?? {My sister received it as a Christmas gift and kindly shared it with me so I could read it, too!}


In case you haven't read the book yet, here are my thoughts. I had heard great things about it, and of course I'm quite a fan of Fixer Upper, so I figured I would love the book. But even so, I was a little nervous. If there's one thing I learned in radio, it's that not all people are good authors. Being a good speaker doesn't mean you're a good writer (and vice versa!). Having a big life event befall you doesn't mean you're a good writer. Of course there are writers who come alongside to help with some of those things, and Chip and Joanna had a good one: Mark Dagostino.

If you watch Fixer Upper, I'm happy to tell you that one thing you'll notice if you read this book is the distinct voices of both Chip and Joanna shining through. Most of the book is written from Joanna's perspective, but several chunks are written from Chip's and just as you see on TV, some parts are written almost conversationally, with the two of them bantering back and forth with their thoughts. To help you keep track of who is speaking, each has a different font. (I didn't find this distracting at all. I actually mentally read each part in their respective voices.)

Another thing that makes me nervous when I pick up stories written by well-known people is the predictable back-story. They all go back and relive their childhood, and in some books, that part gets tedious. I almost thought that would be missing altogether from this book, but it did eventually surface, although much later than I'm used to. But in this book, it didn't bother me. It was interesting to see how their upbringing and their parents' stories impacted the people they became.

I also found it very interesting to read stories of their dating years, early marriage, and how they found this beautiful rhythm of working well together that we've come to love from watching them on TV. (And they tell how they "got discovered," part of which I hadn't heard before.)

There are several hilarious stories in there (which, as you might guess, mostly revolve around Chip's antics and misadventures). I stopped several times to read large sections out loud to Ryan and he loved them. There are also a lot of faith lessons sprinkled throughout and a clear explanation of how they've seen God at work in their marriage and business life.

Just as I hoped, I found it an endearing, enjoyable, and easy read. (OOH! And there are pictures in the middle. I love books with pictures in the middle!) I'm glad they shared the back story. Fun to know!

In Which We Find a New (Possibly Temporary) Normal

You know how dearly I love a new year, and for this one, I worked hard to develop a plan that would help me be more purposeful in running after goals and better habits. It was all nerdy and color coded. Ridiculously wonderful is probably the best term for it.

And then, you know. Emergency Room visits and doctor appointments and all manner of things that had not been pre-scheduled in any color on the pretty pages of my planner. (I told Ryan yesterday we should probably just throw in the towel, buy a pill sorter, and go on with our lives.)

Suddenly all the meals that I had so carefully planned out and shopped for had to be modified, because right now, Ryan can't have...well, it's probably just fastest to say most foods. We eat a lot of Mexican spices and tomato-sauce laden foods, and pretty much all of that is out right now. No sloppy joes. No turkey burgers. No lasagna. No chicken taco soup. No nachos and cheese during football.

And my wifely skills were taking a pretty sharp beating with every single can of chicken noodle soup I popped open and dumped in a saucepan to heat up.

While I've been banging on the door of Heaven begging God for healing/answers/anything that pushes us in the right direction, I've also been struggling with satisfaction with our now.

All 26 alphabetical dates that I pre-planned last year and we were supposed to start this week have to be put on hold because they all contain foods Ryan can't have right now.

All my menu planning had to be redone. In fact, it straight up felt like all my cooking skills had to be re-learned, because suddenly, he can't have anything we ever eat.

All our days had to be scheduled at the last minute, because I never knew if we might have to pause for a new doctor's appointment or another ER visit. (And I'm the kind of girl who will pull an all-nighter to finish crossing stuff off my list because I can't abide by undone to-do lists.)

So this past week was a great opportunity for God to reshape my spirit a bit. A chance for me to relearn what really matters, and none of it includes my plans. A chance for me to find joy in serving Ryan through learning to cook new dishes and learning to put aside the things I've been so excited about to make room for new, more urgent focuses, like finding healing for the long haul and a semblance of normal for our now.

Yesterday I happened upon this post by Josh Buck, who I've known almost my whole life, but who I know most from interviewing him and his wife a couple of times back when I worked at WBCL. Josh was paralyzed in an accident ten years ago, and he has struggled with multiple health problems in the time that has passed. The post tells of his latest hospitalization and the extreme, horrific pain he's encountering. I read every line, about all the medications, all the decisions that have to be made, all the ways one thing affects another, and suddenly, learning to cook chicken in 34 new ways really didn't matter anymore.

And because I've read enough of what Josh's wife has written, I know her normal has been changed about a million times, and yet somehow she approaches it with grace and see it as an opportunity to serve and find a new angle to keeping the vows she made years ago.

So our days don't always go like we plan them (in color) in our pretty planners. And sometimes we have to find a new normal. Or a temporary normal. And it may feel awkward at first, but it really is a privilege in its own way. The key (which I will not claim to have mastered yet) is to look at it that way.

I'm grateful for Ryan. I'm grateful for our life. And if I need to learn to live on chicken for the foreseeable future and if we have to postpone our fun alphabetical dates for a while, we'll do it. Because what matters most is his health and finally seeing a smile on his handsome face.

Rest...Heard of It?

Yesterday was supposed to be our family Christmas with Ryan's mom's side of the family. Christmas in the log cabin is always picturesque. It's the kind of Christmas that when I married into the family, I thought fully encapsulated what Christmas was supposed to look like. Lots of family, lots of kids, lots of excitement, lots of food, and, well, of course - the log cabin in the woods.

{I'm not kidding. Photo credit to Nita for this, but see what I mean??}

But when ice covered central Indiana overnight from Friday into Saturday, and when the forecast called for more of the same, plus sub-zero temperatures for Sunday, the decision was made to err on the side of safety and delay Christmas until a warmer (?), safer day.

Our church bent toward safety, too, canceling services yesterday, so Ryan and I were presented with one of our favorite things: a snow day!

Ryan got up before I did {because left to my own devices, I will not exit a bed until the last possible minute} and had the kitchen buzzing with biscuits, gravy, eggs, and coffee by the time I finally peeked out with bedhead and a purple bathrobe wrapped all around me.

A lazy morning of breakfast, coffee, and church on TV followed by naps, football, scrapbooking, more naps, more coffee, more football, and twinkly lights shining from Grizzy in the corner made for pretty much the perfect day.

It's not Christmas in a log cabin, to be sure. We had to concoct an alternative dinner plan that wasn't quite as delicious as Allen's pancakes with homemade maple syrup, but even with those adjustments, it was a good day.

Christmas in the Midwest falls to the mercy of the weather more than any of us want to admit. Flights are canceled and people who planned to come home...can't. Parties have to be postponed. Christmas programs get moved. It's disappointing to young and old alike, for sure, when the calendar, already stuffed full of activities, has to be altered.

But sometimes we need rest more than we need the happenings. That whole silent night and heavenly peace thing isn't just for the songs. It's for us, too. It's for those of us who are worn out from making lots of memories. It's for those of us who have overextended in every way to make things perfect for the kids. It's for those of us who are juggling extra jobs on top of extra get-togethers. It's for those of us who are fighting to get well (or stay well) amid a sea of germs.

We don't do it well - the choosing rest. Sometimes we have to bend to the mercy of the weather, swallow the disappointment, and learn to be okay with a plan B sort of celebration. And in the middle of it all, it might just be good for us to think about this thing called rest that has just been offered to us.

Perspective

I decided many months ago that I wanted to write the Shafferland story. I think I was driven to make sure our story was committed to paper in case either one of us ended up forgetting who we were and how we lived. {Yes. Too much Notebook.}

I wrote the story of our first year a while ago and immediately launched into preserving the second year, but then life began to happen and I stopped writing. For some reason, this week, the writing bug bit {HARD} again, and I've been sneaking to the computer every spare minute to relive year two through blog posts, journal entries, and scrapbook pages so I can transcribe the story for posterity.

People, this is why I'm such an advocate for scrapbooking and journaling. So many things were hidden in those pages that I'd forgotten. I remembered much, but I'd forgotten much, too. Feelings and prayers, Scriptures and quotes, ups and downs, the funny and the heartbreaking - they were all waiting for me in words and pictures.

The particular part of our story I'm writing right now is exhausting me as I relive it. In no particular order, here were some of our obstacles in our second season:

* Double commuting
* Polar vortex
* Job stresses
* Double home ownership
* Low self-esteem {okay that one was just me}
* Plumbing replacement

Daunting enough in list form. But each point carried sub-points that added about 150 pounds of emotional weight to each of us.

Job stresses weren't just "job stresses." They were weights that made Ryan hold his breath to see if his very job would hold and weights that sent me home sobbing every. single. day.

Double home ownership wasn't just about the inconvenience of owning two homes. It was about drowning beneath betrayal from people who had committed to buying Ryan's old house and then moved out instead, leaving us not only stuck with a house, but spending spare dollars we didn't have to repair damages they left.

It was all-consuming. So many questions. So many decisions. So much unknown. So much hurt.

As I sorted through the pages of my journal, I stopped cold on these words, written on February 23, 2014:

Bring the right people for the {Greentown} house and bring the right house for us. Give us direction about where we should go. Bring us HOME.

Of course in my mind, all this bringing and giving would happen in short, orderly fashion. Isn't that ultimately the hope of all our prayer requests when we utter them?

In reality, it would be five more months before we received an offer on Ryan's house, and it would be another 141 days {five months, roughly} before we signed the house over to its new owner. But in that long, daunting, ten-month span, God would indeed answer the cry of my heart: the right people bought the house. We still smile when we drive by and see how they continue to make it their own. We are grateful it can bless them, and we are simultaneously grateful to be out from under the deep stress of owning two homes.

And in fact, exactly two years after I wrote this prayer in my journal {two years TO THE DAY}, we received word that the appraisal on our new house, our now house, was complete. And in less than one month from that day, we would own the house and be mid-renovation already.

In those two years, God did bring the right house. He did give us direction. He was lining up the buyer for the house we had shared the first few years of our marriage. He'd freed me to be a stay-at-home wife.

It wasn't short or orderly, but it was complete.

This is why I love to journal. I have, as Ann-Voskamp wrote in The Broken Way, "God-Amnesia." I forget what I know to be true. I lose sight of the journey we've walked together. I need to be reminded of His faithfulness - not just in the ANSWERS, but in the journey that LEADS to the answers. The journey matters as much, if not more, than the answers.

I sit here today, grateful for that hard year we lived. I'm not sure how we survived it with smiles on our faces, as I look back over the consistent crushing blows of that year. But we did survive it, and we are stronger and more unified as a couple and in our faith today than we were before the year began.

I'm also profoundly grateful for the answers. They came slowly, but God was faithful in the journey. 

Embracing Imperfection

First of all, it's Spill the Beans Day!! :)

We realized, with much horror, that we never properly welcomed fall on the podcast, so we're talking all things fall-important {my disdain for raking leaves, Ryan's childhood on the farm, etc.} and then we chat about my planning day last week - aka the day Ryan's co-workers began to mock me for what I fear will be the entire coming year.

Click here to listen.

And now...to today.

Is anyone else addicted to TimeHop/On This Day apps for social media? On This Day is one of my most favorite things to look at while we eat breakfast every morning. It makes my memory-maker's heart so happy to see what I was up to on this very day over the past few years.

So yesterday, I was scrolling, scrolling, scrolling, and I found my thoughts from three years ago: October 24th, 2013 at 9:08 p.m. I had written:

Thought in my mind at 11:00 this morning: "I need to leave work and be a stay at home wife today, because I know how to do THAT." Thought in my mind at 8:00 this evening after Ryan took over fixing the ENVELOPE PASTA SIDE DISH following my three failed attempts: "I just need to go to bed and let this day win." Here's to a better Friday.

I elected not to unearth the journal and find out what was causing me such consternation at work that day {I have a few thoughts, but if I'm right, I'd rather not relive them.} But I smiled and wanted to tell three-years-ago Bekah that if she could just hang on about another year and a half, she would get to leave work and be a stay at home wife, not just for one day, but for all the days. That dream she was too scared to dream was just about to come true. {You know...in a year and a half.}
 

I've told you, recently even, how much I enjoy this season of life, working from home, investing in our house and in our marriage in ways I could not as a working-outside-the-home wife. I'm not here to rehash that, because probably some of you hate hearing it when it's your secret dream too, but your time hasn't yet come.

I'm here to say that being a stay-at-home wife occasionally still carries the failures that October 24th, 2013 carried. There are days when I still wouldn't be able to make a pasta side dish without an adult helper. {We also no longer eat those...not so much on the clean-eating-approved list.}

There are days when Ryan comes home from work and I look around and wonder if I have anything to show for my hours of work within the walls of our house. Anything tangible that will prove to him {though he never asks for proof} that  my staying home every day is worth it to our family.

There are days when I mess up the laundry and pull something from the dryer that was clearly to be line dried only. There are days when I forget the one chore he asked me to do. There are days when he comes home for lunch and the mountain of dishes threatening to dissolve in a landslide when he left for work are still precariously perched on the counter. There are days when lunch is cold, because I overzealously got it ready too early. There are days when lunch refuses to cook faster, regardless of my coaxing, and he nearly gets full on Cheez-it appetizers while he waits.

There are days when I'm still in bedhead and jammies when he comes home for lunch, eyes wide and frenzied because I'm in the middle of the biggest writing roll and I haven't paused to do ANYTHING but pound words into a keyboard for the last however many hours. There are days the alarm goes off and I groan and say, "I forgot to get more strawberries for breakfast." {How can that be thought #1 at that hour and not on my brain ONCE the day before??}

Being a stay-at-home wife doesn't mean I'm great at it all the time. Sometimes I'm a failure and he has to help me clean up the mess I've made. Sometimes I still need to go back to bed and let the day win.

I say this not as a self-bashing session, but because I think there are too many picturesque blog and Instagram posts {my own included} that show tidy rooms and scrapbook-worthy moments, and out there somewhere is a reader who feels like a failure because she's living my October 24th, 2013, and she just wants to know that out there somewhere is an honest blogger who admits that sometimes the laundry is a fail and sometimes the strawberries are still at the store.

Ryan is gracious. He drives to the store in the wee hours to buy strawberries and doesn't complain about Cheez-it appetizers when lunch is behind. He even calls me cute when my lunchtime attire strongly resembles the jammies I had on when he left home. He doesn't question my productivity level when I can't produce anything to show for my day.

I appreciate that about him. And I appreciate the gift of staying home. But even in being a "professional" stay-at-home wife, I assure you I still have my days. Bring me an adult helper and another coffee, please. And let's start over again tomorrow.

Bicentennial Torch Relay

I have no idea if schools all follow {or still follow} the grade level study schedules I did when I was a kid, but way back then, we studied Indiana history in 7th grade.

I really don't remember many of the specifics of the class {or of anything history-related, much to the chagrin of my history-teaching father}, but I clearly remember the written/oral reports. I don't remember how often we had to do them, but periodically, we'd have to study a specific part of Indiana's history and write a report about what we learned. Then we had to read our reports out loud to the class.

As in stand up in front of classmates and talk.

The reports were much like you would expect from a group of seventh-graders: excruciating. Kids got up, slapped their stapled reports on the podium, leaned their heads so far toward the papers that you could barely hear their words, and mumbled assembled facts that sounded just like the last dozen reports.

I determined to be different. Not to show up my classmates, but just to survive history research. I turned all my reports into short stories, reminiscent of Little House on the Prairie. I created families and named all the members and threw them into whatever situation I'd researched and then for twelve or so pages {not kidding}, I'd tell their stories. They had log cabins and horses and oil lamps and the whole nine yards.

This may be why I had very few friends at that stage in life. It may also be why half my class was asleep after my reports. 2:30 p.m. and a twelve page mini-series? I can't blame them for napping.

But that's what made history interesting to me: stories. It's why I like the 92 county tour project Ryan and I are apparently devoting the rest of our natural lives to completing. There are stories hidden everywhere. Stories of how counties got their names, stories of how coffee shops came to be planted in refurbished buildings, and stories of the quirky little places unique to each county.

I can't spout off dates to you, and there's a whole lotta history I couldn't begin to teach, but I can tell you the stories.

So that's why I was excited last week to be just the tiniest part of a piece of that history. Indiana is celebrating its bicentennial this year {a fact I also had not remembered from studying all those many years ago}, and part of the year's celebration is a torch relay that is still in the middle of traveling through all 92 counties in Indiana, a trail that covers 3200 miles.

In each county, different people carry the torch in a relay-fashion. It began in Corydon, which {little known fact for you out-of-state readers} was the original state capital, and it will end in the present capital, Indianapolis. The relay started just over a month ago and will end this week! Last week, it came through Howard County, and the path of the torch was scheduled to go right by Ryan's work! It seemed only reasonable to go watch, because this is the only bicentennial the state will ever have, and I won't likely be alive for the next 100 year celebration!

I went over to his work just a little early, because I didn't want to miss it, but of course, it was running late, so I hung out in the parking lot for quite a while! {Loitering in a hospital parking lot is not terribly exciting, in case you were ever thinking of doing it.}

 Not until I arrived, did I discover the hospital was actually a "torch passing" location! The motorcade stopped right there to allow it to change hands!

{The motorcade had a lead car that stopped by ahead of time to make sure all was well.}

It came by right at the end of Ryan's work day, and his last patient canceled, so he was able to leave early and come watch with me!

The motorcade is coming!

Howard County has a huge automotive legacy, so it only made sense for the torch to arrive at the stopping point in this car:

From there, it was given to an elementary student who had been nominated by his principal. It was pretty exciting to get to see a kid get to participate!

After pausing for some pictures, the torchbearer and entourage continued on down the road to the next relay point, and we went on home.

They had a huge celebration downtown, and maybe if I had felt better, we would have gone to check it out, but the cold I have acquired was beginning to really knock me over, so I mostly just wanted my blanky and a couch. :)

I can only presume that in another couple hundred years, some nerdy junior high girl will write a twelve page essay for history class about a torch relay and how a cute therapist and his bloggery wife went to watch it.

{Tell her not to read it out loud in the middle of the afternoon. Unless, of course, she serves caffeine.}

The Plague of Gnats

Oh my word.

ANYONE else out there experiencing an unusually high volume of gnats this year? Ryan and I were driving home the other night, and as we turned onto our street, we went through a thick cloud of them that just utterly grossed me out. {Side note: it's always fun to RUN through a cloud like that and not breathe!}

We were just about to go to bed that night, when Ryan turned on the bathroom light and about 25 of those things were crawling all over the mirror. So foul! How are you supposed to brush your teeth when you can't see them?

We clean our house, we empty our trash, we don't leave food sitting out, and yet we were overrun by gnats. And Ryan reached his saturation point, right then and there.

He opened his computer and began searching for home remedies on gnat killing. We mixed up the concoction he found and the next morning when we got up, I was shocked to see about thirty dead gnats at the bottom of the bowl we put on the bathroom sink. (And there were a total of four bowls in the house.)

I shared the recipe with my mom and sisters (we live all over the place, so apparently it is not just a Kokomo problem) and I heard it worked for them too - even killed a fly at my sister's house!

So here you go! Our killer (ha! See what I did there?) gnat recipe:

* 1 liter of water
* 1 Tablespoon white sugar
* 2 Tablespoons apple cider vinegar
* Little bit of soap

Stir and divide into smaller bowls to place around the house in problem areas.

* Our measuring bowl had a liter measurement on it, but my mom said a liter is about 4 cups for those of you who might not have a cup or bowl with that marking on it.

* We used dish soap and put in enough that it bubbled slightly when it stirred, but it didn't suds up like a bath. (Ryan read that the sweetness of the sugar and the apple cider vinegar draws the gnats, bu the soap pulls them down so they can't get out.)

* I noticed that they would circle above the mixture for a while and then get down in. Recently "added" gnats were at the top and then they would sink to the bottom. This discovery told me how active we still were in "catching" them.

* My sister asked if this was safe for pets, as she has cats. I can't imagine most pets would WANT to drink it because of the smell of the vinegar {Braeya had no interest} but at least what we made was non-toxic. The soap we use is a non-toxic soap, so if she had any, she probably would have been okay. And also, I would have worried about her taste buds.

It worked for us! In about two days, we had almost no gnats left. YAY!!!!!!!!!

The Saturday Six

One.

So this happened last week. I have to say that of all the places in the whole wide world that I ever imagined to see my name, the Wall Street Journal was never one of them. {Mostly because I have always associated it with numbers, and you know how well I get along with those!} So anyway. This was pretty cool!

Two.

Ryan actually found this article, but I agree with it so much that I couldn't help but share. I do not take it for granted that I'm able to run hard after my dreams right now because Ryan is shouldering the entire financial load on his own. This is such a gift, and I appreciate it. When people find out we don't have kids, they think it's kind of strange that I don't work outside the home, but we're learning that this works best for us. We need this to thrive. And I'm grateful to him that we can do it. {By the way, the photo has NOTHING to do with the article, but I just love pictures of Ryan!}

Three.

Source

I love Jennifer Rothschild, and I love lessons learned by the water...so I loved this post. Love the reminder that even in the bigness of an ocean...in the bigness of all this world is...God sees us and loves us.

Four.

Two or three years ago, I saw these wooden letters on the Dayspring website, and they were on sale. I felt they so perfectly captured the life God has given us that I wanted to own them. I purchased them, but in our Marion house, we didn't have a good spot to put them, so they sat in the trunk of my car until we moved. Ryan hung them up in our hallway, and I have had multiple people comment on how much they love them. I figured they had long since cycled out of the inventory at Dayspring, but I happened to notice this week that they are part of the Labor Day sale! Twenty bucks - on sale from fifty!! They're wooden letters, but they are not very thick or heavy, so that's good for your wall. I love their strong presence and what they represent. I would give them two thumbs up...and they would make a great gift, if you're buying ahead for Christmas! 

Five.

Source

I told Ryan this week that it's officially been 3 years since we returned home from our Caribbean Cruise. I shouldn't have brought it up. It is like reminding a kid that his puppy died. Ryan LOVES cruises and has mourned the fact that we've not been on one since. Whoopsie! So perhaps because cruises were on the brain, I happened upon this post, which fascinated me entirely. This girl is a packer extraordinaire. Packed for a seven day cruise IN A CARRY-ON. I can't even pack for CHURCH in a carry-on. I realize she probably didn't mess with things like books and journals and tripods and such, but seriously - still!!! This is impressive.  

Six.

Source

I was a sixth grader the first time I picked up a book written by Janette Oke. I'd exhausted all the literary possibilities of young adult fiction {on the approved-by-the-parents list}, but my voracious appetite for reading remained. Mom encouraged me to try a grown-up book, and Love Comes Softly was my gateway to the fiction I now love and devour regularly. Janette Oke was a pioneer of Christian fiction, and her pioneer stories captured my heart. I read them all and still own the entire collection.

Her When Calls the Heart series, written back in the 80's and set in Canada has recently become the inspiration for the extremely popular TV series by the same name. I confess I have not watched the series, because I learned when Love Comes Softly became a movies series that it's hard on readers when beloved books translate to film. I loved the movie series, don't get me wrong, but it was hard to see so many details change. I eventually had to pretend the two were unrelated entirely.

So when I saw that a new book series existed, called Return to the Canadian West, co-written by Janette Oke and her daughter, Laurel Oke Logan, I was torn. I desperately wanted to read the books because I love Janette so, but at the same time, I saw the books were companion stories to the TV series and I just wasn't sure my little soul could handle it.

But I picked up Where Hope Prevails, the third book in this series, and was delightfully surprised to find it as easy to love as any Oke book I've ever read. I don't know how much authoring Janette did and how much Laurel did, but the spirit of the book is exactly what I remember of every single novel I ever read, and I adored the story.

I will say that while I hadn't read the first two books in this series {didn't know about them until now}, I wasn't lost in any way. I will go back and read the first two, though I now know some serious spoiler alerts about the way they'll end, based on the plot in this book.

This book is the story of Elizabeth Thatcher, a city born-and-bred teacher who has moved to the Canadian West to teach in a small mining town. As the book opens, Elizabeth is just returning to Coal Valley after spending a summer back east with her family. She is shocked to find that the town has erupted in growth and change in her relatively short time away, and while the townspeople have made decisions they're excited about, the changes are tough for Elizabeth to fit into when she returns.

Beth's not-quite-fiance Jarrick, is a Mountie, and while he loves his work, his assignments take him away far too often, leaving the two of them unsure of what their own future might hold. While she prays for guidance, Elizabeth immerses herself in teaching, spending time with her students and friends, and trying to catch up with the changes in the town.

I will absolutely be purchasing the first two books in this series so I can have the complete set, and while I have no idea how closely this holds to the TV show, I have to say, I loved the book.

* Thanks, Bethany House, for providing a copy of this book to me in exchange for an honest review. And thanks for taking a chance on Janette all those many years ago.* 

 

Tales from the Carpool Lane

I've picked up a little side job recently, helping out one of our friends by taking her son to school in the mornings. He's 9, and a super sweet kid, but the question remained: what do you talk about when trying to make conversation with a shy 9 year old boy?

Ryan gave me some hints of things he might like to discuss, and I did try, but conversations were awkward and usually fizzled out pretty quickly. We would arrive at school each day, and I'd sip on coffee in the carpool lane while I waited to let him out next to the school. {So far I haven't shown up in my jammies or bathrobe, so I feel I haven't truly lived up to the hype I've heard about with such adventures, but the year is young. Give me time.}

Anyway.

Yesterday we were en route to school again and I found myself at a complete loss. Our conversation the day before, regarding his love for Legos, had taken the entire trip to school, but I wasn't sure Lego talk could last forever.

And that's when I uncovered it.

The golden topic.

Pokemon Go.

He brought it up when trying to explain to me some statue he knew about that was apparently close to our route, and he said what he thought would obviously seal it for me: "You know, like for Pokemon!"

I was simultaneously thrilled and petrified.

Thrilled because I knew I had found the winning topic. Petrified because I know nothing about it. Not just nothing. Negative nothing.

I tried to ask questions that would make me sound somewhat intelligent without giving away my utter ignorance. {Because he's a smart kid...he can smell ignorance a mile away.}

He told me all his favorite places and something about a team, and it was clear he thought I had some sort of baseline knowledge about all this. My baseline knowledge was to sip my coffee a little faster and hope for the best.

I have never played Pokemon Go, I have no desire to play it, and I sort of figured I would go through life without ever knowing one single thing regarding it. But if it means finally making a connection in the carpool line, I'll do my homework and learn enough to carry on an intelligent conversation.

This was my favorite part so far. He said something about playing it in the car when his mom brought him home every day. Now the one thing I had heard about this game was that it did at least force people to become more active, since they walked to find whatever they were finding. The car thing threw me for a loop.

"So you can play it in the car?" {I meant as opposed to only on foot.}

He said, "Well yeah, but not if you're driving!"

Trust me. No danger. :)

Looking forward to more tales from the carpool lane. Should be a fun year!

Seeing What Can Be

 

My mom has pointed out that for purchasing a move-in ready house, we sure have done a lot of work on it.

I can't argue.

Mostly because I'm too tired from all the work we've done. {smirky smile}

Yesterday I set up office-camp at the kitchen table, my view into the living room obstructed by a line of potted plants and unplugged lamps while two guys hauled in heavy rolls of carpet and fitted them to our floors.

It's the last of the projects. For now. Ryan promises.

So while I sat at the table, toggling from tab to tab reading tweets and posts and pins, scribbling notes and taking breaks to underline meaningful words in this week's book, I thought about our beautiful move-in ready house that we have entirely overhauled so that it looks nothing like it did when we bought it.

We'll blame it partially on Ryan being a project junkie, but I think there's a deeper, truer reason behind all the changes.

When we walked into this house for the first time on January 28th, we walked in for fun. We weren't here to make a commitment. We weren't here to make memories, and my lack of photos documenting the day are proof of that. We were here to enjoy looking at a house, imagine ourselves in a space other than the one we'd always known together, and dream about a future day when something like this could be ours.

We had no idea that less than two months later, this very house WOULD be ours. The house, we declared when we saw it, was perfect. Wouldn't have to do a thing. Totally inhabitable just as it was. Nothing garish. Nothing broken.

But when we walked in on March 21, we saw the bare bones of potential. With all the things removed that made it the home of those who lived here before, we saw a canvas of a home.

We added and removed to better fit together as home and owners. We created a space that looked like us, and that took work. And along the way, we learned that some of the things that looked fine when dressed up for the ones who lived here before, actually needed some tender care before being redressed for our home.

So we did that, too. The carpet was one of those things. We hadn't planned to replace it. The carpet here before was not that old and a good brand that advertised resistance to staining. But in our every day, it didn't do that. No matter how much we cleaned or what we used, it showed dirt and resurrected old dirt. It tarnished the whole house, so we did more work to pull out everything we just moved in and have the carpet replaced with something fresh and decidedly more us.

It reminded me of how we see each other in this marriage we live every day. How we came together in good shape {well, I was not in literal good shape, but you get my point} and we loved each other for the people that we were and there really wasn't a need to change anything.


And then we married and we began to see how additions here and subtractions there and changes to this or that could make us fit better together as a couple. So we worked at it, changing and trying until we found what worked for us. And along that process, we uncovered things about ourselves we thought were okay until we realized they really weren't. And we didn't want them to tarnish the whole marriage, so we did the work to pull out everything that didn't work about those parts of life and replace it all with something to push us closer to being healthier, holier people.

We loved who we were, but we also saw the potential for more and we pushed toward that potential.

That's a healthy life, I think. The life that can see good in what is, but can see better in what can be.

Let's Talk About STUFF

It's podcast Tuesday!! Hope you enjoy our adventures and the jobs we have dreamed of having!

Click here to listen. 

And now, let's chat, shall we?

This past weekend, on the Saturday Six, I linked to an article that talked about the growing trend that adult kids do not want to inherit all the stuff their parents have. And their parents are taking it personally, feeling that the rejection of their stuff shows a lack of love from their kids.

A couple of you left comments about your own thoughts on that, and it made me think even more about this topic and where I stand on it, where Ryan stands on it, and why we feel the way we do!

I've made no secret over the past year or so that I have been in an intentional mode of paring down. Letting go of things. Less is more, right? After I left the station, I went ruthlessly through our entire house and eliminated all the things we didn't use. We had a huge rummage sale and made enough money from that sale to pay for our Great Getaway of 2015 last fall. Then we moved, we pared down again, letting go of things we didn't need so we had room in our new space to breathe.

I have done the same thing with my clothing, adopting the capsule wardrobe philosophy and getting rid of 3/4 of the clothing I owned. When new things come in now, something must go. I even went through my jewelry and let go of the pieces I never wore.

Even in all the paring down, we're not minimalists.  Not truly. We still have a LOT of stuff, and we're certainly lacking for nothing.

So this brings us back to the original question. Do we want to inherit more stuff? And if we don't, does that mean we're disrespectful to our parents and what they might want us to have?

Fortunately, Ryan and I have similar thoughts on this topic, so that's good! At least we agree!

We do not want to bring more stuff into our house for the express purpose of bringing more stuff into our house. We don't want to clutter up our space with more things just because we "should" take them.

But whenever the time comes {many years down the road of course, because all our parents are going to live a good long time}, and we need to divide the material possessions of our parents' households, I think these are some good rules for us to live by:

* If there are things that hold deep, beautiful memories for us, and those things physically fit in our house with out creating messes and clutter, then I think those things should move into our home. {And we would want to offer that same opportunity to all of our siblings for things they may want for the same reasons!}

* If there are things that could replace something we own, by providing an upgrade, then I would be all for making a swap. That way, we aren't bringing additional items into our home, but we would have the opportunity to improve upon what we have. {For example, if we had a chair that was falling apart and we could replace it with one that wasn't, then I would be fine getting rid of what we have and bringing in something better.}

* If there is something that we aren't particularly attached to, but we know an extended family member or friend has always admired it, I think it would be great to gift it to them, knowing it will be loved and treasured and will allow fond memories to be fostered in other households, too!

* For the day-to-day items, I would love to find people who might just be starting out and could use the blessing. My mom and aunt cleaned out their parents' house when I was a senior in high school, and I ended up with a treasure trove of the things no one else wanted: everyday dishes, towels, baking pans, other kitchen utensils, and things like that. A few years later, when I established my own home, those inheritances were HUGE in helping me afford to get started. I think it's great to pay that blessing forward to someone else who is starting out or starting over!

Our home already has a smattering of pieces that have come from both our families and represent our heritage. We love those pieces and are so glad they are part of our story. If we're able, along the way, to add to that collection, with little items here and there, I will love that too! But I don't want to create wall-to-wall clutter out of feelings of obligation.

So that's where we stand on it. How about you? Do you want to inherit more things? Do you feel pressure to be willing to take stuff?

One Year Later...

The date on the calendar this coming Sunday will mark one year since I left WBCL for the last time. One whole year, you guys. I truly cannot believe all that has taken place over this last calendar year. Proof that God really does abundantly above and beyond all we could ask or imagine.

This was a scary day. I was about to voluntarily {and obediently to the Lord} walk away from the job I dearly loved and had grown to be good at, and I had no idea what would be in front of me when the alarm went off the next morning...or the morning after that...or the morning after that.

But you know what's so great?

God knew. He knew all that would be ahead of us, and He knew I needed to be at home, free to handle all the details. {Details known only to Him.}

One. 

Even though it was not the predominant theme of the year, Ryan and I did get to actually rest some this year. I am not sure that people understood how very little rest we had enjoyed since getting married. Double commutes with jobs in health care and radio did not afford much down time. My being home to handle some of the day-to-day tasks gave us more time {even if not a LOT of time} to rest. I cherish it.

Two.

I spent many of the early weeks combing through every square inch of our house and purging all the boxes and truckloads of things we didn't need anymore. It was another task that had piled up since our wedding, and to finally be able to look through it all and weed out the excess was a blessing. It was freeing to simplify, and because I had the time to do so, I was able to sort, price, and arrange everything for a huge garage sale. We made enough money from that sale to pay for our vacation last fall. I was so thankful to be able to contribute that way!

Three.

 In the four years I worked at WBCL, I had time to read about four books. And all of them were work-related. Since leaving the station, I have had the privilege of reading a book every week, and it has been a delight to me. I love learning and honing my own writing craft through reading the words of others!

Four.

 Another thing I didn't have time to do while working? Write. I could blog, but I didn't have time for anything beyond that. In the year that I have been off work, I have written an entire book manuscript and am working to publish it. And the ideas for more that swirl in my head tell me I need to keep doing what I'm doing!

Five.

 We trained for and ran a race, which is something I would love to do again, but it was the first time we'd made time for this since we got married.

Six.

 Though we are still learning to have more time for this, we loved being able to actually have a little more time to spend with friends this year. Dinners and parties here and there, connecting and reconnecting in ways we never had time to do before!

Seven.

 We started serving more together at church - as greeters and coffee makers. We found areas where we can serve TOGETHER, and it was freeing to have the time to make those commitments!

Eight.

 In the spirit of serving together, we also hosted our first small group in our home, a group formed through our church. We led the group for six weeks and loved sharing with them every week. We are looking to lead another group starting this fall, because we loved the chance to do this before!

Nine.

 We missed radio, so we started our own podcast, now over 30 episodes strong, where we banter about life, tell funny stories, and share what we're learning from the Lord! This has been one of the biggest delights of our year!

Ten.

Perhaps the most unexpected change of the year was our move! I have no idea how people who work full time ever manage to sort, purge, pack, move, unpack, and settle! That was a lot of work and consumed a considerable amount of hours. But I was so thankful that I had the time in my schedule to do all that. With the exception of a few attic and garage items, I packed our entire house myself {with my OCD planner in tow} and did the lion's share of the painting, unpacking, and settling at our new place. Oh how we love being settled in our new home!

Eleven.

 The freedom in my schedule has also given me the freedom to add more speaking to my work, and I have loved preparing and sharing with women in different groups. I have also loved it that Ryan gets to accompany me to almost all the engagements. Looking forward to much more of this in the months to come!

Twelve.

And the biggest change? Losing almost 30 pounds in the last six months and feeling better than I ever have in my whole life. Our switch to a clean eating lifestyle with much more exercise has been really good for both of us.

All these things have happened in the last year, and I am profoundly grateful for God's provision for us in allowing me to stay home and manage these things. What a busy, full year, and while I do miss my friends at the station, and I miss being able to share like I did on the air, I adore being home, serving Ryan, writing, investing in friendships, investing in our marriage, and being free to be used by the Lord in ways I hadn't been able to for the last four years!