Tuesday Tales: Redemption Remembered

 

On the afternoon of the 4^th of July, I had a little extra time (what does that even mean??) on my hands, so I scrolled through my Facebook memories. I ran across one from a few years ago when I recounted the anniversary of God’s goodness in my life in bringing me through that very day back in 2010. I shook my head as I read because on this year’s July 4^th, I’d not even thought about the significance of that day.

                Oh, the healing God brings.

                If you’ve been reading for the last sixteen years, you might remember that 2010 was so very hard for my heart. I was in a relationship that I thought would be forever, but it ended, and my ability to breathe easily, sleep, and eat ended with it. My faith was rocked and wrecked in ways I’d never experienced, and I wasn’t sure I would ever make it to the other side of the darkness that threatened to entirely engulf me.

                Whole days were far too difficult to survive, so I worked on getting through hours, sometimes minutes, at a time.

                I had prayed so specifically, earnestly, and faithfully for God’s healing and redemption in this relationship, and I sensed a nudge in my spirit to pray for it to come by the 4^th of July that year. When midnight came on the 4^th of July and not one thing had changed, I wasn’t sure what to do or how to proceed. I had so many faith questions. But I kept putting one foot in front of the other and getting through the next minute…the next hour. (It was a far more tedious story than this recap, as you might remember.)

                Within a few months, it became clear the relationship was fully over. He had moved on, but I had no idea how that would ever be possible for me. I began praying for healing for my shattered heart, and piece by piece, it began to come. I found my smile, laughter, sleep, and joy again.

                It wasn’t lost on me that exactly one year later, on the fourth of July, I was poised to begin a brand new job at WBCL – and with it, a whole new life. And just over two years later, God brought Ryan into my life.  

                The season of the year that had been so devastating began to bring pieces of redemption, a little at a time.

                And now it’s been sixteen years since that desert journey. Sixteen years. I haven’t forgotten the journey, but the date no longer presses into my soul the moment I wake up on the 4^th of July. It doesn’t rule my life anymore. God has worked a healing, and I celebrate that.

                Today I write these words because I want YOU to know that if you feel like you may never heal from a wound that marks your life, don’t underestimate God’s healing hand. I am and will be forever marked by that relationship and loss. I will never be the same girl I was before it. I learned so much that made me who I am today – who I need to be in marriage and ministry. Though it nearly destroyed me, it didn’t, and I am stronger because of it.

                So yes, it marked me. But it no longer defines me. It no longer rules over me. God has wildly redeemed and restored all that was broken and lost. It is part of my testimony, and today I wanted to share that God still heals, redeems, and restores. And I’m so so thankful.