How I Planned My Personal Retreat

When you work independently, you have to become creative and intentional about, well, pretty much everything! You have to be sure you're motivated to actually work, find ways to manage your time well, and I think it's equally important to be accountable for what you've done while prayerfully planning for what comes next.

This week I took two (plus) days for a personal/business retreat. I started this practice last fall, and that adventure was a semi-disaster. I learned from it, though, and I tackled this year's attempt with a bit more organization and thought. It went very well this time, and I had a question on Instagram about how I go about accomplishing my retreats, so I'm taking this day to tell you!

I would like to add that you do not have to be independently employed to do something like this. I think everyone can benefit from a personal retreat. You could reflect/dream about your daily life, your marriage, your parenting, your hobbies, or just about anything. I think the whole idea is just great self-care.

Here are my tips for retreating well.

1. Choose a time frame and treat it like an appointment.

Weeks ago, I looked at the calendar and decided our school system's fall break would be the best time for me to retreat. I know, I know. I don't have kids! Why does it matter? Well, I drive kids to school, and I volunteer in a school. Fall break meant no commitments, and that freed me up to have full, uninterrupted days to focus on my adventure. I chose two days and wrote them in ink on the calendar. Several times after doing so, I was approached to participate in various things, and though some were sorely tempting, I treated those days as iron-clad commitments. No speaking engagements. No get-togethers. Those were my retreat days and they mattered. I also put a time frame around it. Basically I retreated while Ryan was at work. My evenings were still free to spend with him or to do whatever was necessary in my regular life.


2. Find the best location for you, and stay off the grid.

Last year, I retreated to a coffee shop. I mean, why not? I love coffee, and isn't it all kinds of trendy to take your work to a coffee shop? It was a disaster. (For me.) First of all, I was sick, so I spent most of the morning coughing and worrying that I was bothering those around me. Secondly, I sat next to a table of older ladies who had NO inside voices, so I found myself overcome by their loud conversations. I also worried I was staying too long and not buying enough. Basically I was thoroughly distracted.


Since we don't have kids, home is actually a quiet place for me, and I decided this year to retreat at home. That way I had access to everything I might need: Bibles, journals, my printer, my books, pens, highlighters. I didn't have to pack anything. Another bonus for me was that I could walk the house and pray out loud throughout the retreat, and I didn't bother anyone. (It might be a bit distracting at a coffee shop.)

Other than being available to Ryan, I stayed off the grid for my retreat. I didn't email, Facebook, Instagram, tweet, text, or answer the phone during my retreat hours. I did get online to look up resources related to my retreat, but I wasn't social.

3. Have a prayer team going.

I actually have a great group of people who pray over me and the work I do (regularly) and I emailed them before the retreat to see if they could lift me up in prayer as I came to mind throughout those days. Some of them texted to let me know I was on their minds, and I appreciated that, but it didn't matter to me whether or not I heard from them. It was good to know I could reach out to ask for prayer, and I trusted God to remind them as HE felt necessary.


Ryan was also SO great to me throughout my retreat. Not only did he pray for me, but the first day, he got up super early, drove to Starbucks to get my favorite latte, and stopped for a donut treat for me, too. (We rarely get donuts, so it was like Christmas morning.) I know filling me with sugar might cause some to raise an eyebrow, but it wasn't about the treats themselves. It was about knowing he understood this retreat was important to me and how he showed love through bringing me some of my favorite things. It meant more than I think he even knows.

4. Don't have an agenda. 

Don't get me wrong: I did prepare for this. For a few weeks leading up to my retreat, I jotted down quotes and Bible verses that I felt would be helpful in guiding me through the days. I purchased a couple of planning workbooks from Etsy to sort of lead me in an organized fashion. But I went in with no agenda and no expectations.


I began my days by reading praise Psalms, listening to praise songs, praying out loud, confessing, and thanking God for the blessings I've enjoyed in the past year. I knew I wanted to reflect on where I'd been and dream about where I'm going, but I let God lead it from there. I didn't have time frames, and I didn't rush it. I just took my time and let each "season" of the retreat happen naturally. Some parts took longer than others and that's okay! Sometimes I was just on my knees listening, I actually took a couple of short naps, and I listened to a decent amount of inspiring music!

5. Take notes.

I wrote down verses, songs, and ideas that came to mind, so I wouldn't forget them later. I made both general notes and very specific notes of things I need to do later or sites I need to visit. This is both a chronicle of my time (for posterity) and a list to jump-start me in my work starting next week.


6. Don't think of the retreat as officially over.

I feel this is the biggest downfall of all retreats ever, anywhere. I hear this often when I attend or speak at an organized retreat: This was such an amazing time, and now I have to go back to reality. It's like all the important work accomplished through the set-apart time of a retreat fizzles the moment daily reality returns. I think that defeats the entire purpose of a retreat!

My retreat time "ended" after two days, but on the third day, when I got up and had to do laundry and prepare lunch and record a podcast, I continued to marinate on the goodness of the retreat days. I continued to think about the ideas that had begun to form. I continued to make my lists and carry on the good work I had begun in those days. I was excited to put my plans into action and enjoy all that had begun in the solitude of those two days.


So those are my thoughts and tips on retreating. I know if you have kids, there's a whole extra level of complication, because you're needed at home - even if it is fall break! Maybe especially if it's fall break! Maybe for you, retreats have to happen away, at a hotel or a friend's house. Or maybe the kids need to go stay with grandparents so you can have the house to yourself. I realize it might be tough, but I think there's much value in this solitude that results in you being the best (wife, mom, worker, fill-in-the-blank) that you can be. Worth it!