Small World, Big Impact: Trudy

1. Today is our 28th monthiversary. Still crazy in love with this guy named Ryan who has put up with crazy ole me for 28 months now.

2. We started priming our room last night. It's HUGE. Funny how it doesn't feel so big until you go to paint it, right?

3. My computer isn't feeling well, so I'm posting this from Ryan's...so for anyone who actually might read the "posted by" thing at the end, don't be confused. It's really me. Bekah. :)

4. On to today's regularly scheduled programming. I'm sharing another person whose life has so touched mine and helped shape me into who I am today.

I knew Trudy considered me a special friend when she asked me to be in the delivery room when she gave birth to her first child. There's a whole separate level of trust involved when you invite someone into one of the most sacred moments of life. But even then, I didn't have a clue how much she really loved me. It wasn't until almost a year later that she showed me in a way no one else ever had...how much I meant to her.

I was going through a rough patch with someone else in my life, and I was frustrated beyond belief. It was a ridiculous situation that had blown out of proportion in control in ways it never should have. I was a brand new adult...in that awkward time when I was expected to know how to handle things because I was an adult and dreadfully unaware of how to handle things because I was such a new adult.

The only thing I did know was...something had to change. I couldn't continue living the way I was in that moment. The stress would kill me if something else didn't.

So one night, I decided to call Trudy. It was late, and I knew the discussion wouldn't be a short one, but I needed her advice. As she always does {for everyone}, she dropped everything she was doing and talked to me for quite a while. She listened, she offered her opinion, and she offered advice. She said she would pray for me, and she told me she hated to see the situation dragged out like it was - and all the people whose hearts were hurting over it.


One of the hardest thing about the entire mess that entangled me was the mutual friends I shared with the other person involved. They were numerous, and I had reached a point where I felt so wounded by the words and actions of the other person that I just didn't feel I could continue to share close friendship with anyone we shared. I didn't think I could trust anyone who knew the truth of what was happening between us and still supported someone who hurt me so deeply. I told Trudy that right out loud, and she immediately started crying.

"It's not fair, Bekah," she said. "I love you, and I don't want to make a choice that could cause me to lose your friendship." She said other things after that...things I don't even remember. What I remember is that she cried.

I didn't remember any of my friends ever crying over me before. {Of course, to be fair, I think it was the first ultimatum I'd ever issued to a friend.} But through her tears on that phone call, I learned something I'd never known before: I had friends who valued me enough that they would cry at the thought of our friendship dissolving. Before that call, I didn't know my presence mattered that much to anyone!

Trudy, thank you for teaching me a measure of my worth. Thank you for being open with me during a difficult season. Thank you for teaching me that it may not matter what my words are...they might be forgotten...but if I am honest with my heart, that won't be forgotten. Our basic need is the same across the board. We want to be loved. You showed love through your tears, and you've challenged me to do the same.

***

I still love Trudy and her family so much! I proceeded to attend three more births for her, and I've loved watching her kiddos grow up! The craziness of my schedule since I started working at the station has kept me from spending as much time with her as I would like, but I'm thankful she still calls me friend and has room for me in her life! And I'm grateful for her example to me. I know I don't always do friendship right...I stumble more than I realize sometimes. But oh goodness. How I do love my friends and hope they know they are as dear to me as Trudy's conversation taught me I was to her!