Just Thankful

Two years ago on this day, I stood in my kitchen, dragging myself through the steps of cooking dressing for the family meal. With my heart still raw from wounds of the Isaac relationship, I grabbed my phone and texted him to tell him I knew he didn't feel the same way but that year, the only thing I could be thankful for was him.

I had no idea he was already in another relationship. I stood in a kitchen, clinging to the hope he'd want me again and he was already in love. With someone else.

Last year it was just too hard. Too hard to be here with all the memories. So I hopped a plane and flew to Kansas for a wonderful weekend with my sister, brother-in-law and niece. It was so healing. And yet in the wee hours of each morning, I snuggled into my bed and texted friends...the pang of being alone so strong. So strong.

My friend Joey texted me this week and said "I was just thinking about this time last year...you at your sister's for the holiday and so unsure about yourself. But you remained faithful and look at you now!"

My heart overflowed as I saw those words on my phone. He was right. There were days I didn't have the most faithful, grateful attitude, but praise the Lord...HE is always faithful, no matter what. And I'm so so grateful for His faithfulness.

I'm so grateful this man saw something in me and took the risk to ask me on a date.

I'm thankful for the hours of planning he puts into making life special for me - from the very first date. And I'm thankful when things don't go as planned, he's able to make plan B every bit as wonderful as the original.

I'm thankful he walks hand in hand with me through any...and every...day.

I'm thankful he loves coffee and we can enjoy coffee dates all the time.

I'm thankful he asked me to be his girlfriend - a memory I will always, always cherish.

I'm thankful he's the one I'm with when life gets inconvenient...and that we can make even those things fun!

I'm thankful he loves to go to the lake. I'm thankful he gets how I love water. And based on this picture, I'm thankful he loves me without makeup. :)

I'm thankful he embraces my job and enjoys attending events with me.

I'm thankful he encourages me to run - and that he runs with me, even though I'm an exercise liability.

I'm thankful not only THAT he proposed, but that he made it such an amazing day for me. What a gift!!! The words he spoke over me that day were beyond healing and saturated with comfort.

I'm thankful for someone to gallop in the rain with...even if it means he laughs at me. Grateful he loves me when I look like a drowned rat.

 

Thankful God gave me someone who pushes me beyond my limits and comforts me when I'm afraid.

 

 

So excited to have someone to celebrate - and someone who enjoys things like quiet nights at home with a good hot dog roast in a fire pit!

I'm thankful he lets me into his world and includes me (ALWAYS) in the things that are important to him - regardless of how ignorant about those things I might be.

 

I'm thankful to have a wonderful fiance to dance with. I've always wanted someone to dance with.

I'm thankful he's so tender and loving. Always.

 

 

Ryan Shaffer, I love you with all my heart. You are my biggest surprise and biggest blessing this year. I'm so thankful God thought to weave our life stories together. Thank you for taking a risk on an OCD, sometimes-too-dramatic girl. Thank you for calling me beautiful. Thank you for choosing me out of all the girls on the planet you could have picked. Thank you for encouraging me, caring for me, serving me, loving me, and allowing me to do all those things right back. You are my best friend, the love of my life, and  I cannot WAIT to marry you. I'm. So. Grateful. For. You.

 

 

~ Love, A.S. ~