Day vs. Detail

I need to say this at the very beginning of this post: I am so so so so so so excited about my wedding day. I've been dreaming of this day for YEARS. Like thirty of them. I've been pouring hours - days - even weeks - of planning into this one day to make it memorable and special and all those things brides long for.

But this is what has thoroughly shocked me about myself as I've gone through this planning season:

More than once, I've been heard saying, "It's okay. At the end of the day, I'm still married and that's all I really care about."

 WHAT?!?!

Is that really me talking??

It is. I think it means I'm all grown up now. Praise. The. Lord.

Next Sunday morning, I'm going to get up and walk to the beach to enjoy a beautiful time alone with Ryan. Coffee. Gifts. Breakfast. Prayer. Probably some tears.

Then I'm going to get my hair done. How? No idea. Not taking a 3 ring binder of pictures. Perhaps, if I have time, I might hop on Pinterest and snap a couple pictures with my phone to get a general little idea-let for what I want. Or I might just meander into the salon and say, "Ehhhh do whatever you think looks good." (Seriously - what bride says that??)

Then I'm going to put on my makeup and hope to goodness I don't make myself look like Tammy Faye. (It's entirely possible.) Then I'm going to put on my pretty dress...and my flip flops...much to my mother's chagrin. (Who wears flip flops to a wedding, she asks? Lots of brides. Including THIS ONE.)

Then I'm going to walk onto the beach and see Ryan for the first time in my wedding dress. And since I've not been to the beach before, I haven't scoped out yet where that will take place, so I can't envision that moment. But I don't really care. I have envisioned, a hundred times, the look in his eye when he sees me for the first time. And I can't wait to see that look.

And then we'll take a bunch of pictures. Not sure how that couple of hours will look either. Not sure what poses we'll get. I have a few notes scribbled in my day planner, but however it goes, I'm happy. As long as I hear shutters clicking, I'm good.

And then our guests will show up and sit down and I'll walk down a sand aisle lined with tiki torches - and I'll see Ryan waiting for me at the water's edge. (Incidentally - no idea what song I'm walking in to. I asked Ryan to pick out the song he wants to hear when he sees me walking toward him. And I want to be surprised. I'll know it when I hear it.) And we'll have a ceremony, which I've left (with full confidence) in the capable hands of my brother-in-law, who gets me. I have not a single worry about how the ceremony will go, because even if it deviates from his eight page script, it'll be okay. He'll make it exactly what I would want.

And then the wedding will be over and as the sun sets, I'll dance in my love's arms. To what song? No idea. He'll pick one. I'll love it. Always do.

And then we'll have a little reception. We'll cut some cake and drink some coffee and mingle with the guests and maybe have a toast - if the bridal party wants to. We left it up to them.

And somewhere along the way, probably one (or more) of those things won't go "right." Won't go as planned. Pretty much the only thing I've begged for is good weather. Other than that...whatever happens...it's just a day. Granted, it's a HUGE day. A day I've longed for. But my life won't be ruined if something goes out of order. Because at the end of the day, I'll be married. And that's what I want most of all. Everything else is just a detail.