New.

Before I tell you about the bachelorette party...thought I'd share this from my heart.


I had scarcely made sense of the alarm and the snooze button when I heard Him.

Abba's Voice...the one that had seemed so silent for so long. Certainly more for my lack of listening than His lack of speaking.

His predawn words to me were so simple. But so needed. So craved. He whispered to my soul the words of Philippians 4:13: I can do all things through Him who strengthens me.

I snuggled deeply into the bed that will be our bed, but that morning I lay alone in the middle, pulling the covers tightly around me, and I whispered, Can I? Can I really do this? This wife thing? This meshing of lives and supporting of dreams - can I do it? Not for a lack of desire to do it, because I ache to be his wife. But do I have what it takes?

His gentle Voice spoke again. I can do all things through Him who strengthens me.

And I know. I can. I can love Ryan as he needs to be loved. I can run beside him in pursuit of his dreams. I can honor him. I can serve him. I can humble myself before him. I can laugh and cry and create memories and everything - anything - else God pushes into my path because He strengthens me.

After more whispered words and several more bouts of the snooze button, I got out of bed. And after a full day, I crawled back in and stared at this:

The new Bible.

I like a new Bible for a new journey. And I would say marriage qualifies for a new journey. It rested on the edge of my bed, pages still crisp, cover unmarred, and filled with words I know by heart, yet they await, fresh and unread from that page.

I opened the front cover and saw this:

I saw a blank for a name. My name. My name that in 2 weeks will be brand new. Brand new because I claim the name of my love.

The pages after...for marriages and births and deaths...also blank. I wonder whose names will fill those blanks in this journey? No way to know. No way to know anything that lies ahead, but it's enough to know that I can do all things through Him who strengthens me.

The Bible is new. The name is new. The journey is new. Who knows what will transpire in the time I use this Bible? Who knows what promises I'll cling to and truths I learn as I walk, hand in hand, with Ryan?

I don't know.

But I know this: