Best Things....

On my last day of singleness, I wrote this blog post about what I'd learned from my single-preparing-for-marriage days. In it, I encouraged other singles to read, read, read...as much as they could. And I listed several of the books that helped shape me.

I forgot one.

I'd loaned it out and it wasn't back on my shelf as I perused the titles for that post. But this little gem is back with me now, and I want to be sure I tell you about it - and share some of its wisdom with you. {That might take more than just today.}

Are you married? Listen up. Good reminders in this book. Are you single? Listen up. That's when I read this one and some of those zingers I underlined really do come back to guide me now and then as I take the first fledgling steps of wife-hood alongside Ryan.

The book is called The Best Thing I Ever Did for My Marriage, and it's compiled by Nancy Cobb and Connie Grigsby. The chapters are actually written by lots of other people - sharing what they learned from their own marriages. I'm telling you: it's a gold mine.

{Back in the day, when I was single} I actually picked 20 of my favorite nuggets of wisdom - and wrote them on index cards. As I took laps around the indoor track at the gym, I'd pray over those pieces of wisdom, and in 2 miles flat, I'd prayed through 20 things for my someday marriage.

The first one I prayed about came from the intro to the book, written by marriage expert Dennis Rainey.

"The reality is, when two people join hands in marriage, there's a good chance their differences will collide like two gasoline trucks on the interstate."

True. Story.

I'm a passionate girl. And a creative girl. My perfect day starts by sleeping in until 10 a.m., fixing a large coffee, curling up in the chair with the laptop to write and scrapbook...pretty much until bedtime. I can get lost in the world of writing or scrapping for hours without ever knowing even a moment passed {except for meals, which I do not miss}. I cry at pretty much every movie, TV show and commercial. I'm scared to death of mice, spiders, and the thought of losing those I love. The only tools I recognize by sight are screwdrivers and hammers, and it's really better for all concerned if I use neither.

Ryan's a passionate guy. And a motivated guy. His perfect day starts bright and early in the morning, when he fixes a large coffee and before the pot has even finished brewing, he dives into the first of many projects he hopes to finish by day's end. He can get lost in the world of landscaping or house projects for hours without ever knowing a moment passed {including meals, which he can skip}. He's completely level-headed and logical about everything. He has no problems emptying mouse traps, killing spiders, though he's with me on the fear of losing those he loves. He knows how to use every single tool in the entire world - including drills that go into cement.

If we let it drift that way, we could be two gasoline trucks on the interstate.

But those differences can also be blended to be the most amazing team.

We compromise. Turns out there's an 8 a.m. that falls between 6 and 10. He can landscape while I sit on the porch with the laptop. Time spent together - yet time focused on our strengths. I remind him to eat and he makes sure I don't get completely lost in a scrapbook. My standing on a chair at the mere THOUGHT of a mouse makes him laugh, and his ability to check for one calms my heart. We alternate between his funny TV shows and my please-pass-the-Kleenex choices. He uses the tools and I take pictures of the projects.

I love our teamwork. Seven months in, I think we've done a pretty good job of blending our differences to make them strengths. Some of them have taken some work and some have fallen together seamlessly. And I'm sure there's much more of that to come.

Thank you, God, for every single one of those laps when I prayed for our differences to blend rather than collide. Your answer amazes me.