SSMT: Verse 10

I'm a bit behind in posting my verse for this half of the month...largely because I was also a bit behind in finding my verse for this half of the month.

I've learned when that happens, it's usually because God has a lesson for me up the sleeve of His robe...and this time...so true.

Ryan and I had a heart-to-heart talk last night over dessert and coffee on the back porch. If you're going to have a heart-to-heart about hard things, dessert, coffee, and a gorgeous night should surely make it all better, right? {Not always true.}

In our chat, I had to face uncomfortable truths about myself. And can I just pause for one moment to say how glad I am God trusted my heart to a man who isn't afraid to tell me hard things about myself? Even when he knows I will probably {okay - am guaranteed to} cry? Or the ultimate...push away my coffee?

There are a lot of husbands who don't want to enter the realm of potential female drama, so they probably wouldn't say anything. Especially over the tranquility of dessert and coffee outside.

But Ryan pushes me to try harder. To see in myself what he sees....and what He sees.

And in this conversation, tears spilled out of my eyes and I said, "I feel like I'm having to push in every single area of my life and it's making me tired. I want one area where I don't have to put forth so much effort." {Whiny, but true.}

In the last few weeks I've been switching up our diet and my exercise routines and those things aren't fun for me. I would rather eat a brownie WHILE abs sort of sculpt themselves on my body, but that doesn't happen for me. I have to work at it. Really hard. Think about what I'm eating. Think about what I'm doing for exercise. It's an all-consuming chore, and it's tiring.

And I've been trying to make changes in my devo life, which has been consuming me too...and the list goes on. A variety of areas that feel like they're demanding my all.

I appreciate Ryan's response so much. He didn't back down from Weepy McWeeperson. He just looked me in the eye and said, "I can't fix this for you. This is a decision you have to make and carry out on your own. You DO have what it takes to do it - but the choice is yours."

I stared at my dessert {did I mention it was a peanut butter/chocolate combo? That's how serious this situation was} and knew he was right. Not just right about it being something I had to do for myself, but right that it needed done and I have what it takes to do it.

So that said...my verse is one of encouraging myself to pull myself together and throw some grit into my life.

Not that I have already obtained this or am already perfect,

but I press on to make it my own,

because Christ Jesus has made me his own.

~ Philippians 3:12 ~

 

I don't really need to address the first part. We all know I'm not perfect and I haven't arrived. But the rest is the bottom line. I can and will do this...BECAUSE Jesus made me His.

 

Period.

 

Thank you, my Abba, for the husband who leads by encouragement. Who challenges me and then kisses my hand and tells me I'm worth it, and even if the process takes the rest of our natural lives, he'll walk the journey with me.

 

I press on.