Worth it Wednesday #3

I can't get my mind off what I wrote about last week...and God's been using the words my friends {and husband} spoke over me to work in my heart.

Hands down, I think the most interesting thing about what they said was this: when I asked them to describe me, their focus didn't land on things like my hair color or eye color. My scar and widow's peak were lost to them. No one commented on arm flab or big pores. They said things like this:

Her eyes are so expressive and she can speak through them.

Her smile and laugh are contagious.

Her eyes are compassionate and tuned in when she looks at others.

Her eyes are bright and expressive.

She has a wide smile.

One thing that sticks out right away is her huge, beautiful smile.

Her eyes are so big, so kind, so loving, so beautiful.

I had no idea that when people see me, they see my eyes and my smile - and not because my eyes have some out-of-this-world clear color about them or because I have perfect teeth. They don't see the physical elements. They see me. Do you get the difference there?

Here are some other observations I made this week as I marinated on their words:

* The other night, Ryan and I were talking about Song of Solomon...you know...the book of the Bible that is the eternal cause of so much giggling for youth group participants and so much perplexity for adults who overanalyze it? I glanced through its words because the whole book is filled with descriptive language. {And I thanked Ryan kindly to never tell me my hair looks like a flock of goats - even if that's the truth.} The book is actually quite breathtaking if you read it in the context of the day - and one of the best studies I ever read on it was written by Lisa Harper - so check it out.

Anyway. Though throughout the book the woman's lover describes her {granted, oddly, for our world} as beautiful in every way, from head to toe, and though she even seemed to realize her own beauty, there was one point where she said, "Do not gaze at me because I am dark, because the sun has looked upon me." {Song of Solomon 1:6} Boy, wouldn't she have loved to live in our day when people bake in tanning beds to get a bronzed look. But in her day, it was the fair and dainty look that was in, and because she was out working in the sun all day, she didn't fit in. And she didn't love that about herself.

Finding your flaws isn't a new thing. It goes back to the days of Solomon and beyond, I'm sure. But what a love story was hers...and what a love GOD had for her, too.

* All this made me think of the verses in 1 Peter 3...."Your beauty should not come from outward adornment, such as elaborate hairstyles and the wearing of gold jewelry or fine clothes. Rather, it should be that of your inner self, the unfading beauty of a gentle and quiet spirit, which is of great worth in God's sight." {vv. 3-4}

I love it that when people were describing what they noticed about me, they focused first on the things that come from within - my expressions in my eyes and my smile - before they mentioned things like what I wear or my makeup or jewelry. WE are the ones who have put all the importance on flat stomachs and straight teeth. GOD puts the emphasis on the inside.

* One more thing - and then I'll leave you to think on these things this week. Ryan and I watched the movie "Parental Guidance" on his birthday. If you've not seen it...Billy Crystal and Bette Midler play a couple who go to visit their high-strung daughter and son-in-law, to take care of their kids while they go on vacation. The daughter, played by Marisa Tomei, is SO ANNOYING. About halfway through the movie, Ryan turned to me after I'd muttered yet another complaint about her, and said "You REALLY don't like her, do you?"

At the end of the movie, we watched all the outtakes, and I noticed that in the scenes that contained her, once she broke characater and laughed and joked as herself, I liked her. Not one thing changed about her looks. Her hair and makeup were still great. Her clothes were still nice. She LOOKED the same. But she became beautiful when she ditched the attitude and became genuine.

And I would do well to work on that myself. I want to be known as this girl:

 Not this girl:

For you, my friends...can I just encourage you to do last week's challenge if you didn't already? And if you did...spend this week thinking about that whole inward/outward thing. I think you'll be surprised what God puts on your heart!