Worth it Wednesday #5

Last week I gave myself an assignment...but I confess I have yet to complete it. Between speaking twice this past weekend and being caught up in birthday fun, I didn't get to sit down and really marinate on the things I assigned to myself.

And I certainly don't want to slop through it. So I shall wait until next week for that.

Meanwhile.

Fred Littlefield was my pastor from about sixth grade through my junior year {or so} in high school. A wonderful man of God, Pastor Fred led our church out of a season of serious hurt and he led this girl in a time of serious personal growth. In all those years when God was forming a personal, Heart to heart relationship with me, Fred preached truth and love...and I absorbed.

After leaving our church, Fred and his wife, Naomi, moved back to Kansas, and I actually had the chance to see them during a visit to my sister...not long before Pastor Fred died. This picture means so much to me:

One of the things he said in a sermon...that has stayed with me all this time...is this: If we put Scripture in our spiritual memory bank, God will pull it out at just the right time.

And it occurred to me that the same principle works for worth.

 When people share words of encouragement with me...words of worth...I try so hard to store up the strength of those words for the day when that one insensitive person says that one insensitive comment and I fall apart.

It's true, you know. A hundred people can say something nice to you and one person {and usually a person who is not even that close to you!} can say one ugly comment and it wrecks everything. One hundred lost pieces of love and one magnified wound.

Yesterday was my birthday, and it was a day of much love-tank-filling in Facebook land. Friends left comments, virtual smiles and hugs, and I felt worth it. Worth their two-to-ten seconds to type a message that let me know they paused to reach out my way.

The same happened here at the blog. Much love from you...some of you even that I've never met in real life! And it made me feel honored that you'd spend time here, reading...and then pausing to write me a note.

There are dozens of other examples, but let me give you three.

My husband set the alarm for 4:00 in the morning, to make sure he was up by 4:30, so I could enjoy this start to my birthday:

Pancakes with faces...coffee...fruit...candles...rose...and I felt worthy.

And last night, after dinner, he took me for a walk in the park and carried the tripod and orchestrated {not begrudgingly agreed to, but orchestrated} a birthday photo shoot for me because he knows how I love photos.

And I felt worthy...of his time...of his love...

My best friend mailed my birthday gift a week or so ago, and against my impatient nature, I put the box on the table and waited until the morning of my birthday to tear into it. And it was not yet 6:00 in the morning before I rushed into the den like a 4 year old on Christmas and ripped the box open...and found this:

I wept. I wept because I need these words. I need to see them on my wall and let them infiltrate my mind. I need them on days when that one person is rude...and I feel worthless. The perfect gift at the perfect time.

And finally...

When I got home from work yesterday, I found a stack of cards awaiting me...and one was from Ryan's grandpa. I've known him since I was a kid...long before I even knew Ryan...and always thought he was a sweet man. But look at this card:

Inside, he wrote me a sweet message and signed it "Grandpa" - followed by "That's what Ryan calls me." I cried right there in the hallway where I read it. My own grandparents all went to Heaven when I was in high school. None of them saw me graduate from high school or college. None were at my wedding. And sometimes I miss being a granddaughter.

And he just adopted me in as his own. Not "To my grandson's wife," but Granddaughter.

Worthy of being family.

Ahhh....these are the moments I need to cling to when people speak without thinking. When their ugly words unglue me and give Satan a voice to say "you're worthless." These are the moments I need to pour into my memory bank to be pulled out at the right time - much like the Scripture Pastor Fred urged me to memorize.

My husband finds me worthy. My best friend finds me worthy. The words on the wall art say I'm worthy. I have a Grandpa who called me worthy.

Clinging to it.