What a Difference a Year Makes

Last week I dropped by my parents' house to leave some stuff for them. (Please make a note that they knew I was coming.) They didn't have the garage door open, so I went to the front door and rang the doorbell. Mom came to the door and just stared at me. She said, "Yes?"

I said, "Any way you could let me in? It's cold out here!"

Her reply.... "OH!! Bekah! I didn't know it was you!"

Thanks, Mom.

She told me she's still not used to seeing me this thin and when she first sees me - she doesn't recognize me.

I'll be honest with you. I have struggled with my weight my entire life. I've always known I was fat and it's been a constant battle. I've been thin a couple of other times...but never have I held onto it this long. It scares me. Scares me that I won't be able to keep it off. Scares me that one day I'll wake up, start eating, and never stop.

Some of you have asked how I did this. I get that question about once a week. What's your diet plan? I didn't have one. But all those months I spent in "the desert" were months when I had NO appetite. I wanted to eat. I tried to eat. But I could only eat a few bites before I felt unbearably full - as though I'd just eaten an eight course meal. So in those months, the weight literally fell off.

My appetite is back now. But I try so so hard to keep my intake at a minimum. I really want to be able to stay at the size I am now - if not take off a bit more.

So even though I didn't "work" at this - I'm still excited to feel better about myself than I have in years.

This was me last December...
I saw that picture for the first time the other day and did a triple take. Really? I looked like that? I didn't even know it!


January. This picture sits on my desk at work. It was taken at the ten year celebration at work. I look at it every day and think I don't even know that girl anymore.

February. This was about a week after I started talking to Isaac (hence the glow) and I took to show him my fun side. I was packed into that shirt - it's pretty loose now. And I can't wear those jeans anymore. They fall completely off.

March. Also taken for Isaac - at the craft hideaway. When I went back there this fall, both the ladies who run it commented that I'd lost some weight since my last visit. That kinda makes you feel good!

April. The weekend after the desert/wilderness began. This was when my appetite disappeared entirely.

May. Less than half a month later...this was taken out in Virginia Beach. My clothes were already starting to not fit.

June. I was called "waif like" in this picture. I do think this was the thinnest point. Or very near it, anyway.

July. Still about my thinnest point.

August. Still not able to eat, but beginning to realize I had to find a way to move forward in life.

September. Had to buy a new outfit that FIT!

October. And then I had to follow suit with jeans - after the double safety pinning situation.

November. This shirt used to be tight. Not anymore!

December....A far cry from that apron picture last year, huh? :)

This is not the way I would have chosen to lose weight, but I am grateful. I do feel better than ever - and hope to just stay on the healthy side of things!!