What I Learned in May

PODCAST TUESDAY!!!

I know this is the most random conglomeration of stories ever, but I promise it's worth it!!

Listen here

 Yes, I know it is not the last day of the month, but two things caused me to post my "What I learned" a day early. First, I don't plan on learning anything today, so I should be safe. (TOTALLY KIDDING!) Secondly, yesterday was a super busy day, and I didn't get a chance to write  a post just for this day. So without further ado, here are the things I learned in May!

1. My body rebels against a detox/cleanse.

And don't we all, I'm sure, in some way? Isn't that kind of the point of a cleanse or detox? To shock your system back to health and life? But seriously, I learned that my body freaks out in unhealthy ways. Not sleeping at all and feeling like I'm hallucinating? Not worth it to me. I think I'll just be more conscious in my eating choices. It works better for me.

2. Ryan and I still hate being apart.

We were told the longer we were married, the more we would "get over" the need to be together all the time. Hasn't. Happened. Yet. Ryan was gone all day for the Saturday and Sunday of one weekend, and the following weekend, we were apart all evening Friday and most of Sunday afternoon. We decided that's too much. We love being together, and we don't apologize for it!

3. In busy seasons, we rely on color-coded itineraries.

We had a couple of stretches this month that were too busy. TOO busy. The kind of busy where you have to schedule in bathroom breaks if you really want them. So I resorted to creating color coded documents that outlined our every waking hour and told us what we needed to accomplish and who was in charge of it. We couldn't live like that every day, but when we have to, we must have organization.  

4. I love, love, love, having our garage finished for entertaining.

Truly one of the best decisions we made (even though it nearly cost us our sanity when it was in process) was to finish off the garage so it could be used as an additional living space. Hosting Mommapalooza 4.0 out there was so freeing!  Everyone felt a lot more comfortable with the extra space!

5. The Ninja has revolutionized our coffee grinding experience.

Ryan gave me a Ninja system for my birthday, which was THE most perfect gift. I haven't had a lot of time to play with it yet (hello, busy May!) but we used it to grind our coffee right after we opened the box, and my GOODNESS. What used to take 15 minutes to complete took about a minute and a half. No. Way.

6. Ryan and I make a great team at events.

I love being in a partnership with Ryan, and I love having him accompany me to events. It makes me so happy! But my visit to IWU was the first time he stood up front and helped me with a presentation. It went seamlessly. We had rehearsed several times, but I was so excited to see how well it went in real time. I am thankful beyond words for a husband who doesn't just support the work I'm called to do, but he crawls into it with me and takes an active role.

7. I love writing curriculum.

Back in the day, I wanted to be a teacher, but I elected not to pursue it once I saw how the education field was changing (even 20 years ago). This month I wrote some curriculum for a workshop I'm leading this summer, and I adored every moment of that work. Ryan would come home to find me in the same spot I'd been in when he left for work, and I was a TERRIBLE wife on those days, but it fed my soul in amazing ways to write for teaching purposes!

And that's been May in a nutshell! Here's to learning even more in June! 

The Saturday Six

One.

 I was excited to stumble upon this article of places to eat around Indiana. (Places with spectacular patio dining!) We have actually been to the very last one on the list and loved the food AND the view. And now? We have more places to try!


Two.

 Love these words from Holley Gerth. If you're struggling to forgive yourself of your past, or if you wonder if Jesus meant that He loves you, read her words.

Three.

 Did anyone try the new Unicorn Frappe from Starbucks this week? I am not even REMOTELY tempted by this, and of my social media friends, I only saw one thumbs up. I will just go ahead and stick to my caramel delights, thankyouverymuch.

Four.

Since I'm not a parent, I do try to limit my parental advice on this blog. I know I am not a reliable source. But I happened upon this post through Twitter this week, and out of curiosity, I read it. AND I TOTALLY AGREE. I actually have a couple of friends (meaning one couple married to each other) who parent this way, and it actually works. Their kids are well-behaved, innovative, creative, and in my non-parental opinion, balanced and healthy. So I think there might just be something to this madness!  

Five.

This is kind of a throw-back to an old post, but I'll tell you why I'm reminding you of it! Last year, I shared this post of how I'd started making my own marinara sauce. (It was a by-product of the 21 Day Fix lifestyle and learning to eat less processed foods.) I've used this sauce many times in lasagna and other such dishes, but I made a new batch a few days ago and pulled some out for Ryan to use as dipping sauce for some bread he had. I clearly underestimated how much he would love it and had NOT reserved enough. He told me he was done with all pre-packaged sauces. This was it for him from now on. So in honor of that, here's a link to the recipe! 

Six.

THIS. IN EVERY WAY: THIS. (Pause: it is true that there is no book review this week. I read two books but neither has been released yet, so I can't review them. Believe me. It's killing my OCD as much as it's shocking you right now. I'll be back with a book next week. PROMISE.) Okay back to this point.

I have had so many conversations lately with friends, fellow-believers, fellow entrepreneurs and small business owners and my brain spins over this entire conundrum. As Beth says so much better than I can, we are living in a world where we are taught and encouraged to promote ourselves. If we have something to offer, we have to make graphics and videos and do blog tours and podcasts and push, push, push to get our name and offering out to every soul we've ever met. We beg for retweets and reposts and stalk our social media numbers to make sure they're growing.

I don't like any of it. It's not how I was raised, it wasn't what I saw modeled, and it's not how I want to live. I share what I have to offer, because I want you to know it's there. I want you to know if you need a laugh, you can listen to Spill the Beans and chances are good we'll make you giggle. I want you to know if you want to read about the randomness of our lives, you can come here every day and find something to munch on for a minute. I want you to know if you need a devo, I've written a couple, I believe in their message, and I hope they'd be an inspiration to you. So I let you know when something's here. I want you to know that I love to share the messages God has given me with groups of people, so if you need a speaker, holler, and we'll talk. But oh my word, I never want to be the girl that shoves any of it down your throat.

I don't want to be the girl who gets hidden from every Facebook feed because my every post, even if shrouded in some fun story about my life, is somehow going to turn into a desperate plea to hire me or buy something I've written. I agree with Beth 100% and I am in her camp. I don't want to be about the Bekah Shaffer brand. I want to be about Jesus and hope you see Him through these outlets I have the chance to offer.

Stepping off soapbox.

Alphabetical Dates: Inspired by the Letter F

I know! We are so out of order on our alphabetical dates! We did E before D and G before F. Like I said before, it's good we're not trying to teach the alphabet through this project!

I think perhaps the best words to describe the date weekend inspired by the letter F include: fluid, fluctuating, frustrating, and fickle.

Pretty much the whole date went nothing as I planned it, and while it was still overall good and definitely memorable, it was also flabbergasting.

The original plan for this date was a fondue night at home. But when I realized how much all the cheese and dipping items were going to cost, I decided we would make our date fit into some of the plans we already had for the weekend. Cheaper!! (Or should I say frugal?)


So our date started Friday night with our Friday night fellowship fete to mark the end of our Bible study we've been doing with Ryan's co-workers! We had a pitch-in dinner with burgers and brats and all sorts of snacks. Ryan built a deviled egg burger he was pretty proud of.

I didn't get many pictures that night (fail!!!) and one of the other girls said she'd send me hers, but I don't have them yet. Even so, it was a really fun evening. I love a good party.

We continued the date on Saturday, and that was the day that ended up making us crazy! I shared this picture on my Facebook page and said something about dates not going as planned, because I don't want everyone to think that everything is always perfect here in Shafferland. We have a good life and a great marriage and we really do have a lot of fun together, but don't have some sort of Midas touch that makes everything void of imperfections. I want to be honest about that, because I don't ever want to give off false impressions that we have everything automatically easy!

We've got some GREAT stories about this day that I'll save for the podcast tomorrow because they are even better told than written, I think.

We started the day with an appointment for our car (recreating our first date, apparently), and after that, we were kind of hungry, but not very, so we found this little donut shop and got a donut. We had to eat in our car because there were way too many people for the table space in that little shop!

We went shopping for fun finds at some of our favorite stores while we were out of town. Found some good deals for our new patio space!

I had a pretty raging headache by this point, so I asked if we could go through Starbucks for some iced fresh brew to try to temper the thing, and while we sat in the line, a lady from the car behind us came up to our car, told us she'd paid for our order, and handed us a little card to explain her random act of kindness. WHAT?!?!?!?!?! A freebie? This has never happened to us! We've heard of such things, but they've never happened to us!

The card tells about little baby Josie, who lived just 18 days, and her family started this initiative called Josie's Impact, to spread the word about her life and encourage people to do random acts of kindness in her honor and memory. (And yes, we will be paying this forward!) If you want to see some of the things people have done, just search #josiesimpact.

We tried to shop at the Goodwill, but it was the first Saturday of the month and everything was 50% off, so the place was a madhouse. I found an amazing reference book I wanted, but I couldn't justify standing in line for over an hour for one book. We came back at the end of the day, and it was gone. Great sadness. (And par for the day.)

We went to Red Robin for lunch, and Ryan scored his free food, because it's his birthday month, so he earned a free meal! YAY!!!

Then we went to see a flick: Beauty and the Beast! I'd been itching to see it, but I wanted to wait until the crowds died down, and it paid off! Our theater was pretty empty!

I thought it was incredible in music and cinematography! They did add a few songs that were not in the original movie, and they changed a handful of lyrics to existing songs, but they left in enough of the amazing stuff that it was okay. I thought I would cry multiple times, but I only cried once! (And that was when she walked into the library. Not even kidding. All those books just made me straight up cry!)

Also - I would like to have these seats. They rocked! Literally!

We had a couple more stores to hit, and LOOK WHAT WE SAW ON THE WAY?????

Oh, be still my heart!

So see? Despite the many frustrations of the day, it was still a good 2-day date, and we piled up a good number of blessings!!!

Now! Back on track! Letter H is next!

The Shafferland Shuffle

Well, we made it through one whole week of DST. Woot woot for us!!!! Anyone else been on the staying-awake struggle bus? Anyone? ANYONE?

Here's how we spent week one of time change!

* Last Sunday, we had leftover pizza for lunch and someone, who shall remain nameless, dumped a huge piece all down the front of himself. I laughed so hard, not at him, but just because he seriously never does anything like that and it was funny to watch him react! Later in the day, he took me to Starbucks and I went venti because, well, DST. By that night, I just wanted to bake cookies, but our kitchen looked like this, so no cookies.

* Monday was Mom's first day to come to outpatient physical therapy. She was just assessed, so it was a pretty easy appointment as far as "working out" went, but I think she really enjoyed getting out of the house. As of that day, she was just a day short of being 3 weeks post-op, so I thought she looked great! After work, I watched my friends' kiddos, and the next-to-the-littlest wanted to hold the littlest. Always an adventure. :) We came home, and Ryan worked on the cabinet project. Again. Still. Whatever.

* Tuesday was our one year house-iversary! Not of moving in, but just of purchasing. We celebrated by moving all the stuff back into the cabinets. LOL!! It was also Pi day, which in my mind makes it pie day. It "just so happened" that my mom had shared some pie with us, so we got to actually celebrate! And I welcomed back my restocked kitchen by making a Texas Sheet Cake for Ryan's work.

* Wednesday was Mom's first TRUE day of therapy and she got to work with Ryan! It was fun to watch him in action for a whole session. He's so good at what he does! After work, I met up with my friend Amber for a coffee date, and then I worked on chores at home while Ryan worked on the cabinet doors. (Are you seeing a theme here??)

* Thursday was my first speaking day for the spring season. I have several speaking dates lined up, and this one was a luncheon for a small group of women. They were kind, warm, and welcoming and I completely enjoyed meeting with them! Ryan had to work really late and then I'm sure it will shock you to know he came home and worked on the cabinets. :)

*Friday, I went to visit Ryan at work and he was wearing something very different from what he'd been wearing when he left home. Crack me up!!! We went on our "D" date Friday night. (If you missed the earlier memo, we went out of order and did the "E" date last weekend.) I'm not sure that St. Patrick's Day might be the best choice of nights to go out. Good thing we went early! Anyway. Can't wait to tell you all about our date!

 * Yesterday was full, full, full!! And I can't wait to tell you about it, too! Ryan had the day off, and we did a county tour AND an alphabetical date all in one day. We trekked north to St. Joseph County and had all kinds of fun despite the fact that it rained/sleeted most of the day. And at the end of the day, we enjoyed a very special surprise alphabetical date planned entirely by Ryan. Blew my socks off!

Alphabetical Dates: The Letter "C"

Welllllllllllll, here is one date that certainly saw more modifications than I intended! Just to catch you up real quickly, in case you're new here - we're mixing up our married dating life this year by going on alphabetically themed dates. You can read about the "A" date here and the "B" date here, and this week, I was bound and determined that despite the chaos of our week, we were GETTING the "C" date. And it turned out to be one of the most beautiful and welcomed parts of the week. That's for sure!

My friend Odie said we needed to go on a CRUISE for the C date, and we definitely agreed, but alas. We just bought a gallbladder eviction, so we lacked the funds to buy a cruise.

So the next best thing? A "coffee shop crawl." How fun is that? It's like a pub crawl, but we don't drink, so we went from coffee shop to coffee shop instead. Or at least we tried. It was a brilliant plan on paper. I spread the date over the course of three days, because I felt we could enjoy the coffee much more if we weren't trying to do allllllllllllll the coffee shops in one day. I mean, that is a lot of caffeine and sugar - even for us.

I found three coffee shops in Kokomo we hadn't yet visited, and I spent time researching when they were open and arranged the dates accordingly. (Can I just say that is my only complaint about Kokomo coffee shops? None of them stay open very late at all.)

So the plan was that Thursday morning, we would get up extra early and a little after seven, we would go to The Bind Cafe, which is a coffee shop downtown that I didn't even know existed until a few weeks ago when I saw it on a list of must-visit coffee shops in the state of Indiana. Their Facebook page said they opened at seven, so I thought I'd give them a couple of minutes to settle, but go early enough that we would still have time to enjoy coffee and breakfast before Ryan had to work.

We arrived at 7:10 to this.

Closed up tight. Not closed, but lights on and people milling about, just running behind. Closed, closed, closed. Dark inside, no cars outside, CLOSED.

I don't think I need to explain how disappointing that is for two coffee addicts who have already survived a significant chunk of their morning without coffee, waiting for this glorious moment.

Baffled and befuddled, I checked their Facebook page again to see if I had somehow misread it. Nope. It said right there in bright green: "OPEN." And yet clearly, not so much. So we drove away with much sadness, and headed instead to Big Ben Coffee, which is our favorite local shop.

Ryan got fresh brew and I got the same with a scone on the side. (He was having breakfast at work, so he didn't need food.) We thoroughly enjoyed watching the sunrise and talking together. A lovely, leisurely morning, and even though it was Plan B, it was wonderful. And we took some goofy photos.

Friday night, after the lonnnnnnnnnnnnnng week was finally behind us, we went to our second destination. There's a place in town called Coffee Junkiez that has several locations. Most are drive-thru only, but they have one full-sized restaurant that is both Coffee Junkiez and Pizza Junkiez. So we went for dinner and coffee.

The thunderstorms that rolled through central Indiana showed up while we were eating dinner, so it was nice to be inside where it was comfy and dry. It was actually quite a nice little place to eat. Quiet, calming music, lots of space, DELICIOUS pizza.

Ryan would like to point out that we got the Carnivore pizza, because it also starts with C. After we ate, we ordered lattes. Andes Mint for Ryan and Raspberry Delight for me, and we just kicked back, talked for a while, and watched the rain while we enjoyed our coffee. Delicious.

A keeper of a night, a keeper of a coffee joint, and the ONLY date that went as planned.

Saturday morning, we had plans to go to Main Street Cafe, because we had a gift card we'd been saving to use. It's hard to go to this place, because they have NO evening hours at all, and that makes it tough when you have a day job. (Plus, Ryan only gets 1/2 hour for lunch on weekdays, so eating out is not an option.)

I'd been there on a Saturday morning before, with one of my friends, so Ryan and I got up early on the only day we could sleep in, got ready, and drove in the snow to Main Street Cafe: Closed. Apparently they're not open on Saturdays. Not sure how they were open the day I went, but they were definitely not participating for our date day. Womp, womp.

So we drove to another part of downtown to a little cafe called Gabetta's, and ordered breakfast and fresh brew. It wasn't a true coffee shop, but desperate times call for desperate measures, right?

When we went to pay the bill, we discovered it's owned by Coffee Junkiez, too, so SCORE! It counts as a coffee shop!

So the winning part of our C date was that we had three opportunities to enjoy quality time together in the middle of a week that was totally chaotic and exhausting. Love that. And that's what really counts. The losing part of our C date was that 2/3 of our destinations were complete busts. Sadness indeed.