A Nugget for Your Day

Last week (a week ago today, actually) I was a bystander to a conversation that really convicted me. I've chewed on it so much in the last week that I thought I should share the  nugget of wisdom with you. Maybe you need it like I did.

I say I was a bystander, because the conversation was actually a meeting that included me in no way whatsoever. But I happened to be in the room, so I took a vow of silence on the meeting details and went about my business while the rest of the involved parties talked. (And don't worry. I'm not breaking my vow.)

The conversation, much like a good novel, had a story of conflict between a couple of characters. And in the discussion, one wise gentleman said the following words:

"You say you're praying about this. And you should! But if you don't believe prayer can change things, why are you even bothering to pray?"

Put. on. the. brakes.

What?

I fell under a pretty big blanket of conviction with those words. I thought about my prayer list in my trusty binder. Big deals that I pray for with full trust that God can move and work in the needs scribbled hastily on a line. But every now and then, I hit a request that falls flat in my mind. Usually the ones that fall flat include people who have a history of proving they're not fond of changing. I "pray," asking God to work in them, but more often than not, my words don't match my belief.

I pray so I can say I've prayed, not because I believe the person is actually capable of submitting to a God-ordained change.

It's a humbling thing to admit out loud, because I'd like you to think I'm a bit more faith-filled than that. I'd like to be a bit more faith-filled than that.

But it's true.

People can be so maddening, can't they? They claim they want to change and improve, but when the hard work part comes into play, suddenly they're a bit too tired. And so I pray for God to change them, but if I'm honest, I don't always believe they'll let Him do it.

Sadly, that makes my enthusiasm to pray over them look much like their enthusiasm to change.

So why do I even bother to pray?

That phrase has come back to me over and over in this past week. Do I believe God is big enough to create actual change in the hearts of others? Am I not proof that He was big enough to work in my own stubborn, change-loathing heart? Am I not glad that He persevered with me? Wouldn't I want to be faithful in prayer for Him to be faithful to work in others?

That's the conviction camp in which I reside today. Maybe you want to keep me company!?