Worth It Wednesday #1

Last week, I shared with you my own struggle to feel...worth it. It's a deep-rooted struggle I've wrestled with my whole life, and the truth is, no matter how wonderful Ryan is {and he is wonderful}...he can't fix this one for me. This one goes way into the core of my heart.

And I invited you to share this journey with me. To take a look within yourself...in the areas where you don't feel worth it...and make a commitment to change. So here we are, my friends. Worth It Wednesday, week one.

Remember last week when I told you that I stared at the ceiling in the bedroom and whispered into the darkness, Will I ever be better? And Ryan's answer to me was If you choose to be.

I've been stuck on that this week. If. You. Choose. To. Be.

All week, I've been working on  choosing to be worth it. Here are my thoughts, and I invite you to take these and bend them around your own feelings of unworthiness...adjust them in ways that will help you choose to be worth it...however that looks in your life.

* Embrace my weakness as a vessel for His strength. I told Ryan earlier that what I did not want this journey to become was one in which I focused on becoming strong. I do not want to look back at the end of this thing {whenever that comes} and say, "Hey look what I did! I'm great! I figured this out." NO. I want to look back at the end and say "GOD did this. It was 0% Bekah and 100% God." I've seen way too many people who took credit for being amazing, instead of crediting God's amazing grace.

2 Corinthians 12:7-10 talks about how Paul had a weakness that he begged God to take away from him...but God said no. God said "My grace is sufficient for you...my power is made perfect in weakness."

Source: likesjesus.org via Katya on Pinterest

* Choose - if even through gritted teeth. This week I struggled to feel worthy as a wife. It was nothing Ryan did or said...it was my own expectations. I felt unworthy in my own skin...seeing only ugly in the mirror. I felt unworthy in friendships...as though that picked-last-for-dodge-ball girl had resurfaced. And in those moments, I had to CHOOSE worth. I clenched my jaw and said, "I choose to believe I'm a good wife. I choose to believe I'm a good wife." I didn't believe it, but I said it out loud anyway.

In Matthew 4:1-10, Satan came after Jesus, and Jesus refuted his lies out loud. There's power in the spoken word. Whatever lie the enemy is using to torment you, counter it out loud. Choose, out loud, to be worth it.

* Document the choice. I'm a tangible sort of girl. I learn things so much better if I see them...every day...out loud...in front of me. For me, this week, it came in writing. In journaling the words so I could see them and have them as a document of the journey.

Preacher Jonathan Edwards said this: "I made a solemn dedication of myself to God, and wrote it down; giving up myself, and all that I had to God..." There's power in a tangible declaration. 

In Deuteronomy 6:1-9, God urged His children to write His commands on the doorposts of their houses and on their gates. Right out there where they could see them. No way to forget what's right there in plain sight. What if we did that too? What if we wrote down words of worth and truth?

* Let another Voice be louder. When you don't believe you are worth it...and when Satan screams...listen to truth. This song says it so perfectly:

Think about it this week...and do more than just think.

Do. It.

This is your chance. Your chance to start a journey to believing you're worth it by choosing to believe you're worth it.

I call heaven and earth to witness against you today, that I have set before you life and death, blessing and curse. Therefore choose life...

 ~ Deuteronomy 30:19 ~