Talking Without Talking

During our worship service a few weeks ago, Sara used the phrase "talking without talking." It's something a teacher she works with taught to her kindergartners. It's when actions speak louder than words...but we've heard that phrase until it means nothing anymore. Talking without talking strikes me.

I do most of my talking without talking from behind the wheel, though truth be told, I'm usually talking. They just can't hear me.

I've noticed lately that merging onto the interstate in the evening as I head home...is the worst moment. For some reason, it's in that moment that the drivers already sailing down the road at 70 (or more) miles an hour have not read the same driving manual I've read. Their manual doesn't say "get over to let drivers enter the roadway - if you have room to get over." Their manual says "stay put and make the entering driver slam to a crawl right before getting onto the road." Astounding, really, how many people do that. They have plenty of room to get over. No one around. They just choose not to move.

One night in particular, I was having a rough night in my heart and mind. My heart was breaking for someone I loved, and quite frankly nothing else mattered to me in that moment. As usual, I was cut off entering the roadway, causing me to {possibly} slam my hand down on the steering wheel and yell, "SERIOUSLY??????????" And not two minutes later, a car cut me off as I was changing lanes.

Bad move. Brought on some talking without talking.

A bit later, I was in the slow lane, sobbing, not because of stupid drivers, but because of the hurt in my heart. My tear-filled eyes were masked by my gigantic aviator sunglasses, and I saw "the car" begin to start around me.

While I have been known, in my day, to do the "hard stare" at an annoying driver, this time I pursed my lips into a full-on angry pout and made sure my displeasure was unmistakable on my face as I took all attention off the roadway and stared out the side window at Drivey McDriverson.

And wouldn't you know, she had a passenger. A passenger who was brightly smiling a full teeth smile at me - and I had no idea if it was meant to brighten the spirits of the "poor driver who is obviously not having a good day" or if it was meant to be her own version of "Ha ha! SUCKER!!!!!"

Either way, her talking without talking did nothing to soothe my talking without talking. I glared, she smiled, and our cars parted ways at 70 miles an hour.

I can't forget that day. I wonder about Little Miss Smiley. I wondered if she really was trying to make my day better and had no idea that her over-zealous attempt to smile-me-happy really made me cry harder or if we were both just rude in opposite ways.

But this I know. We talk without talking all the time. We send looks and glares and smiles and all these body language signals...and sometimes it works and sometimes it doesn't.

And sometimes {as in the case of driving} non-verbals are all we have. But most of the time, that's not the case. Most of the time we could stop sending signals and actually use words.

What if we did that? What if we talked by talking? With much love and compassion?

What if we did?