A few weeks ago, Lynne ran across some magazine articles that talked about the increased problems of bad body image and even eating disorders...in women. Grown women. Don't we normally preach at teenage girls about that?
Apparently it's something we don't outgrow when we kiss the teen years goodbye. So we're doing a show on it...today.
I'm sure there are as many reasons at the heart of the issue as there are women who struggle with it, but I'll not shy away from telling you...this one's a rough one for me, too.
I've struggled with my weight my entire life. I remember being in elementary school and sneaking a pair of scissors into my room to try to cut the band of some of my clothes so I wouldn't feel them cutting into my skin. (Mom caught me and therein was our first weight discussion.)
Two years ago, I lost a significant amount of weight. I'd dearly love to tell you how much it was, but I don't get weighed, so I don't know. I do know it amounted to four dress sizes in three months. I hated the way I lost the weight (love life drama) but I loved finally feeling thin for the first time in my life.
My clothes hung on me and things that never fit...did. I loved it. And then I bought new clothes...that fit...and suddenly I looked in the mirror and felt fat again. Seriously. when I look in the mirror, I see this girl:
Why is that? Why does the appropriate clothing size bring back the feeling of fat?
As Lynne and I talked about it, I told her I don't WANT to feel that way. I don't WANT to run around worrying that everything is back to being the way it was. I don't WANT to worry that when I get married, I won't believe my husband when he tells me I'm beautiful because I'll look in the mirror and see hugey mchugerson.
I want to look in the mirror and be thankful for the gift of the weight loss and be confident that the girl I am...is okay...even if she has a bit of a tummy.
So looking forward to the conversation on the air today. Hoping to learn why we women think the way we do. Why we struggle to understand the importance of health over the importance of matching the bodies we see in magazines.
Why we choose to obsess over weight rather than bask in the freedom of Christ.
3 comments:
Bekah:
The girl in the photo is beautiful! (Even if I didn't know her, I'd say that, btw). Knowing you as I do, I know just how beautiful you are, completely. Beauty is not a matter of size but a matter of heart. However, I do understand how wonderful it is to go into stores and be able to purchase great styles and have them FIT! I understand how great it is to be able to catch clothes on sale that are actually in your size. I understand how healthy and light and able you feel. But I also understand that there is so, so much more to you, or I, or to anyone else. And it's when we get that, REALLY get that, that we are whole. Btw, if you don't have confidence in your own beauty then there is never going to be a time when someone tells you you are beautiful that you actually believe it. Even if you were a size 0. I've been there. It's ugly. You, however, are beautiful.
This is such a good post, and I am the same I know that might sound odd but I have dealt with the same thing. Certain meds make me fluctuate and it makes me feel odd I dunno how else to describe. You look great pre and post weight loss and you should know that!! I am honored to have you as my friend and I have been there for both parts of your life :)
Delta - Thank you so much for your words!! You are absolutely right. Even the size 0 girls have to have beauty on the brain to believe it. Thanks for liftin gme up!!
Phats - Thank you!!! I don't think it sounds weird to know you've felt the same way - good to know there's company in the boat. Glad you are my friend too and since you knew me "back when" - I'm thankful you were my friend even then!!
Post a Comment