Sacred New Beginnings

The new year has always mattered significantly to me, but it's also the holiday that has left me feeling the most displaced. Where did I fit in? And then after marrying Ryan, where did we fit in? It's a friend-holiday, but as we have moved from place to place throughout our marriage, we have always struggled to find a place to land for the transition from the weary familiarity of the old year to the bright possibilities of the new. 

I remember spending over an hour in a church parking lot on a still-single New Year's Eve, trying to muster up the courage to walk inside to a party where I didn't feel like I belonged. I ached to be there, but I was too scared to walk in. We've had a number of New Year's Eves since that day that have not been as dramatic in reality, but my heart has felt that same tug of war between desperately needing people to share this day and yet not feeling like we had people of our own. 

I dreaded that about this new year in a new place. I extended cautious feelers to see what people might do on New Year's Eve and how we might fit in. In fairness, I didn't try very hard, because the fear of rejection terrified me more than not having a place to go. It conjured up all the feelings (most of which are Satan's lies) that we hadn't found a place because we really didn't belong here. People might say we fit in, but when it came to the day that mattered so much to my heart, what if no one had room?

God is so good with surprises, my friends. 

Christmas evening, as I sat in Ryan's Grandma's dining room, my phone buzzed with a text. It was a new friend we'd just met about a month ago. She wondered if we had plans for New Year's, and if not, did we want to spend time together?

I could have cried! Yes! Yes, we would love to share the new year!

We scurried out to purchase a simple party hat kit, and I wrote a note to our new friends, thanking them for the gift and answer to prayer they had given us (unawares) that evening. I tucked in a couple of bookmarks I'd made for the new year, and then I set the table for four. 

It felt strange indeed to not worry about any cooking for a dinner I hosted. We had collectively decided to get Chinese takeout, and our friends had volunteered to bring dessert and sparkling grape juice. I used the time I would have been preparing for company to instead prepare a frittata for our breakfast on New Year's Day. (When the alarm went off early on Sunday, I was so very glad I did that.) 

We sat around the table and told stories of getting to know each other more, and then we moved into the living room to watch New Year's countdown festivities, tell more stories, and play games. (I didn't ask for permission to post their pictures, so you won't get to see their friendly faces in this space, but I did properly document the night for the scrapbook!)

Braeya and Lexi both loved them dearly and were so excited for extra pets and cuddles throughout the evening. (Three cheers for finding friends who love our four-legged children!)

We were all a bit on the bleary-eyed side the closer the clock ticked to midnight. We poured the sparkling grape juice and donned the party hats so we could gather around the TV and count down to 2023. We blew party horns, and Lexi barked in protest. Our new friends headed back to their home, and Ryan and I sat on the couch for a while to allow Lexi to calm down from a wildly overstimulated evening of excitement. We fell asleep with Matlock playing in the background and woke up sometime around two in the morning to officially go to bed. 

We started our New Year's Day with church, and it felt perfect and right to me. Being together with our church family, sharing communion, singing together, and diving into Psalm 91 was the perfect way to set the tone for 2023. I looked like I had been up until 2 a.m. but I was glad to be there with Ryan, worshipping the Lord!

We made a quick side trip to the lake house, and I couldn't help imagining the joy of waking up to that beautiful slightly-frozen water view next year on the first day of the year!

Perhaps the greatest joy of New Year's Day falling on a Sunday was the permission to fully rest and prepare my mind for the year to come. I read the first pages in my first 2023 reading challenge book. All of us took long naps. I cracked open the first page of my Bible study on Exodus.

We enjoyed leftover Chinese food for lunch and a deliciously tender pot roast for dinner. Football games played on TV throughout the day, and we threw occasional glances their way while we rested and read from the couch.

Before the evening ended, we looked through our memory box from the year, saving out some of the most extra special memories for the permanent memory box. This is one of my favorite traditions for New Year's Day. I found the idea on Pinterest the year before we married. We have a little box in our closet where we keep things like state park maps, wristbands, notes, coffee sleeves, and anything else that reminds us of our adventures through the year. On New Year's Day, we sift through the box, reliving the memories and moving the most tender ones to a permanent memory box. I can't wait to look through that one many years down the road and remember the pure joy we've shared.

The day felt sacred. Worship, rest, memories, and the time together made for a perfect way to start a new year. We are grateful for these sacred new beginnings and ended the day praying together for God to use us and guide our marriage in 2023!