A Legacy

I mentioned this quickly last week, but I told you I'd have to come back and do a separate post on it! Ryan has a friend who doesn't have long to live, and in the past two or three months, we've gone to visit him a few times. The things I've learned in those visits can't be thrown into a "what I learned this month" kind of post, so I'm sharing them with you today.

I should begin by saying that I don't really do sickness and death very well. It's not from lack of exposure, I assure you. I joke that my parents are professional mourners, because they've gone to viewings and funerals for as long as I've been alive. So I've always understood sickness and death and been around it quite often. 

But exposure doesn't make it easier, does it?

So when Ryan asked me to come with him to visit his friend, I was nervous. I knew he was sick enough to be dying, but I didn't know what that sickness might look like. Ryan knows my nervousness and still said it was important that I go with him, so I trusted him and went.

I'm so glad I did.

I didn't know what to expect, but evenings laced with humor were not on my radar. Yet that's exactly what we've had in our times visiting Mike. He has the best sense of humor and the fact that his days are very numbered doesn't keep him from enjoying the days he has left. While he certainly understands the seriousness of his situation, he's not afraid to laugh, tell jokes, or be silly. What permission that gives the rest of us to do the same!

And woven around the moments of laughter were moments of wisdom. Because he knows his time is limited, he makes the most of every opportunity. He shares wisdom. He shares truth. I am a big fan of living a no-regrets life and I've had the chance to watch him do the same. If he has something to say, he says it, because he knows he needs to say it now while he still can.

The last time we visited, we were in the middle of a story when he wanted to pray about something. So we stopped the story, gathered around in a huddle, prayed for a while, and then we went back to storytelling. When you're living in the moment, you pray in the moment. You don't wait until later. You pray immediately. 

The first time we went to visit, I was most worried about leaving. What do you say to a dying man as you walk out the door? In my moment of hesitation, he smiled, waved, and said to me, "Have a good life." Neither of us knew it wasn't a forever goodbye, but he took the awkwardness out of it.

I don't know if I'll get to see him again on this earth. But I do know this: I am a richer person because I met a man who is dying with grace. I am fuller not just because I've gotten to know him, but because I've gotten to know him at this part of his life journey. I know he has hard and discouraging days - probably more than any of the rest of us know. But his strength, tenacity, and peace in the face of death are absolutely inspiring. 

His legacy over me has been God-ordained. I've always tried to live with purpose, but meeting Mike has made me want to live with even more purpose. I hope I can convey the same blend of wit, wisdom, and peace that he shows with every breath he has left to take.

My heart is sad because I know he doesn't have long. But my heart is filled with joy that Ryan shared a friendship with me. It's one that has made a life-long impression.