And We Wait

Yesterday was not a graceful day in the land of Shaffer waiting. After being told we should close on Ryan's house by the end of the week, we are now looking at a delay to next week...if then...if ever.

Not surprisingly, I cried.

I cried because I'm tired of waiting. I cried because it's not fair that we've waited and trusted and been quiet and patient and...nothing. I cried because I don't understand why paperwork-pushing needs three months. I cried for Ryan. I cried for myself. I cried for the buyers.

Waiting takes so many forms.

I have a friend who has said goodbye to five babies. Five babies. She waits to see if God will ever grant the wish of her heart to hold, love, and raise a baby of her own flesh and blood. Earlier this week, I read about a friend of mine whose wife gave birth to their first child...at twenty-four weeks. They wait to see if their tiny, tiny, tiny one pound baby girl will thrive and develop as she lies protected in the NICU. I have a friend just a couple years older than I am who has been battling cancer for several years now. With every treatment, she waits to see if her body is responding...if remission will ever come. I have another friend...a single lady with kids in college...who lost her job. She waits to see how God will provide for her financially in an economically deprived area. I have many friends who are waiting, praying, begging God for a husband. Wondering why everyone else gets a turn at love while they wait and wait...and wait some more.

The wait in front of you is the hardest one, because it's yours.

Here are a few things I'm learning in the waiting. {And by learning, I mean some days I grab hold of these things fiercely and other days I have an ugly cry.}

1. Pray. Hard. Often. This season has spurred me on to be much more consistent about getting up early enough to pray before work. It's spurred me on to pray in the car before I wait for Ryan to call. It's spurred me on to pray in the stolen moments of the day, walking here or there. Just having my mind in a regular spirit of prayer has helped bring me such peace.

2. Ask for support. Last night, as I was mid-ugly cry, I did something I don't often do. I posted to Facebook and shared briefly about my struggle in that minute. Just seeing the acknowledgements from others and knowing prayers were being offered up in that moment for me calmed my heart in a moment when I did not have it in me to calm myself. Initially, I felt bad about asking for prayer for something as silly {in the eyes of some} as a house sale, but I'm so glad I did it. It was humbling both to ask and to receive.

3. Change up the perspective. One of my Facebook friends urged me to pray for the right buyer in the right time. Less than ten minutes after I read her post, one of my friends called me and said the same thing with her own story of how God had worked in the sale of her house last year. Those two things, back-to-back, reminded me that this sale is not just about us selling a house, but it's about the people buying the house. Their future rests on it as heavily as ours. Good perspective.

4. Recall what you learned in the past.  I told Ryan that you would think I could call up some of the lessons I learned in the desert a few years back. You would think. And so I forced myself to think back to those hard days and all the lessons God so graciously taught me in that hardest place. I reminded myself that the very thing I thought would kill me did NOT, in fact, kill me. And neither will this. Those days prepared me for this one.

5. Be excited about the story. Truthfully, this one is the one that gives me hope in the shortest amount of time. I love a story. And I do believe, that somehow, somewhere, someday, this is going to be THE coolest story. On the other side, when we have all the details...now THAT is going to be great. I cannot wait to tell it. I'm excited to know that every day we wait is a day in which God is writing a magnificent story. A story that points to HIS hand at work. A story that points to HIS goodness.

6. Focus on the good.  One really good thing that has come out of this season has been the opportunity for Ryan and I to watch each other handle the stress of the situation. It's been a blessing to see how we've naturally leaned toward each other instead of away. It's been exciting to see our together-prayer-life grow and take root. It's been encouraging to see how we are able to lift each other up and when one has a good day and the other has a bad day, we can balance each other.

7. LAUGH. After I posted to Facebook last night, one of my friends sent me this:

Ryan and I cracked UP in the kitchen when we read it. And that laugh broke SO MUCH TENSION. It was so great! {And how did they get a picture of us?}

So that's what I've been learning in the waiting. Not a foolproof method of surviving, and certainly it's unlikely that I'll remember all this perfectly in the days to come, but I want to be faithful to the Lord and to Ryan and to the lessons we are to learn in this season.

In Luke 22, Jesus told Peter, "I have prayed for you, Simon, that your faith may not fail. And when you have turned back, strengthen your brothers."

I'm not Peter, but I so want to believe that He has also prayed for me...that my faith may not fail. And I pray the same.

So as I wait this hard wait in front of me...as you wait the hard wait in front of you...let's strengthen one another with prayers for strong faith in a Strong God.