When a Friend Grieves

I carefully avoided writing about this in my recap because I didn't feel it was time to talk about it publicly yet, but Ross mentioned it on air this week, so I wanted to spend a post talking about it and sharing with you.

My dear Lynne lost her Mama this past week.

Those of you who hang out here and are also Mid-Morning listeners might say "so that's why all the shows last week were suddenly canceled and replaced with encores." Yes, that's why. Lynne's sweet Mama has lived with Alzheimer's for the past few years {longer than I've known Lynne} but Lynne didn't know even two weeks ago that the end was imminent.

Broke my heart for her. Lynne is strong and courageous in ways I will never be...because it's just not in my makeup. She has a brave face and an optimistic heart for every circumstance and in many ways she handled this loss with the grace and poise that we all knew she would. {In fact, when Ryan and I drove up to Fort Wayne Saturday for the visitation, her first question to me was Why are you not home resting before SHARE next week? and her second was Are the two of you going to be able to do anything fun while you're up here?}

I wanted to get something for Lynne - something to remind her that I knew how much she'd loved her mom and how much she missed her.

But what? Flowers die...and so many of the traditional memorial gifts are either blessed expensive or just plain cheesy.

Ryan and I wandered around Hobby Lobby for a while and then I saw it.

It caught my eye because it's the color of her kitchen and living room. It caught my eye because she loves little pretties like this and it wouldn't take up a ton of space and become just another trinket. But most of all, it caught my eye because of what I knew it could represent.

Lynne had a fantastic relationship with her mom - and I know from knowing the kind of person Lynne is - that her Mom poured a lot of life into her when she was little. No one that fantastic becomes that way accidentally. And I know from my front row seat that Lynne poured much into her mother in the last couple of years. She visited every week, took food over, took her Mom on outings, helped make decisions for her and gave tirelessly. Much more than most daughters would do.

And so I gave her this little pitcher so that every time she sees it, she can be reminded that the life she shared with her Mom for over fifty years was one of mutual pouring into one another. And the result was a regret-free memory of deep love, commitment, and friendship.

One of our listeners also told me that she made the commitment to pray for Lynne {and she does the same for all her friends who lose a loved one} every day for the next year. She said to me, "Those of us on the outside never know what dates are significant...what moments are privately grieved. But all the firsts are hard. So I pray through every day for that first year and make sure I don't miss any."

What a gift!