A Month and Fifteen Minutes

I have a story for you today. {Stop. I heard that. You have a story EVERY day. I mean I have a truly-Bekah story today.}

So. I decided to change my last name to Shaffer. You know...since I got married and all. And you would think I was the first person to ever do this...

Here's how it went down.

Ryan and I looked online to see what you needed to take with you to the SSA to change your name. Marriage certificate and ID. So one day, shortly before Christmas, I had a day that felt just un-busy enough that I'd be able to sneak away from work to visit my friends at SSA. I went armed with a copy of the license {because after careful examination, that's what the court seemed to have sent to use} and my ID. As soon as Mid-Morning ended, I went to the SSA office in Fort Wayne.

I walked past a novel-length post of signs as I entered. No food or drink. {Bummer.} Now closing at noon on Wednesdays. {Must be nice.} No cell phones. {WHAT?!!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!!?!?} That last part was really unfortunate, as my plan had been to text and read Facebook and Twitter while I waited.

The cop at the front door directed me to sign in at the kiosk and wait my turn. I sat down next to the lady with the most handsome mustache and looked at all the obvious regulars who had come armed with magazines and books. Rookie mistake there, Bekah.

FORTY FIVE MINUTES LATER, my number was called and I walked to the window with a mostly forced smile on my face and announced to the less-than-impressed woman working that I'd just gotten married and I wanted to change my name. I handed her the forms and in one minute flat, she informed me the license wasn't correctly certified and I'd have to come back.

I managed to not cry until I got outside...where I burst into tears and did the only logical thing: headed for the McDonald's drive-thru. I sobbed my way through my burger and fries order and went back to work.

SSA: 1. Bekah: 0.

Ryan called the marriage license people and explained that the license wasn't working...so they sent a new one. It arrived right before Christmas. I had Christmas Eve off work, and after consulting the SSA website, we determined Christmas Eve was NOT one of their holidays, so it seemed best to go visit that day, when I didn't have to work. So while Ryan attended his job, I packed the car with coffee {to be consumed before arrival} and a book {because I was NOT going to stare at mustaches for another 45 minutes} and drove through the snow to the SSA office in Marion.

Which was closed.

Not surprising. But definitely frustrating. Nothing that a sweet tea won't fix.

SSA: 2. Bekah: 0.

I got smart after two failed attempts. On the kiosk, I'd noticed a question that said "Do you have an appointment?"

So right after the first of the year {plus a few days for the month-beginning people to cycle through the office}, I called the number on the Fort Wayne SSA office website.

The number you are trying to reach has been disconnected.

Not shocking.


I tried the toll free number instead and was informed that my call was very important and they would be with me as soon as they could, but they were experiencing an unusually high volume of calls at that time...and my wait time would be greater than 10 minutes.

My favorite part was this: If your matter of business can wait, it might be better to call back at another time.

If my matter of business could wait...I wouldn't be on the phone right now, Ding Dong!

So I waited...eighteen minutes according to the timer on the phone. Then Mario answered. Ohhhhhh Mario.

He asked what I needed and I told him...an appointment.  No problem. He asked my name, date of birth, SSN, place of birth, mother's maiden name, and EIGHT MINUTES and a barrage of questions later, I had an appointment for a Wednesday afternoon at 2 p.m.

Thank you, Mario.

I went home and told Ryan the happy news, and he said, Didn't you say they're closed on Wednesday afternoons?

I quit.


SSA: 3. Bekah: 0.

A couple of days later {to the SSA's credit} a woman called and said, "You have an appointment with us on Wednesday afternoon...but we're closed on Wednesdays."

Yeah. Caught that.

She offered me an appointment on Thursday afternoon instead. She asked what I planned to do, and I told her I needed to change my name. She said, "Oh that should only take 15 minutes."


Have you MET your office, lady?

So I went..with much fear and trembling...and three magazines.


I checked in at the kiosk and walked into a waiting room packed with three times as many people as the time before. Thank goodness for appointments! The only chairs left were on the front row, so I sat down, set my stopwatch on my contraband phone, and opened my first magazine to page one.

Rebekah Freelan, window 3.

So I closed my magazine and stood right back up in front of all those people who had been waiting and waiting, and silently prayed, Please don't let me get shot as I made my way to the window. {Sounds dramatic but waiting an hour can do crazy things to people. It's not out of the question to get shot for something like that. I'm just sure of it.}


At the window, the lady informed me that during my "interview," all my answers could be recorded and I needed to understand that anything I said could make me subject to perjury if I lied.

No pressure.

I answered all the same questions I had to tell Mario just to MAKE the appointment, and halfway through, the lady paused to tell the employee at the next window that she accidentally took her 2:00. Then she said, "Don't worry about it. This is an easy one."

REALLY??? EASY??? Glad it is for YOU!!

A mere 6 minutes and 46 seconds after I checked in, I stood at window three and heard these words:

One last question: Do you understand that you are changing your name to Rebekah Shaffer today?

Here's what I wanted to say:

You don't say!? Changing my name? I had no idea.

But I was being recorded and didn't want to end up in court for perjury so I gritted my teeth and said yes.

SSA: 3. Bekah: ONE!!!!!!!

And that's how I changed my name to Rebekah Shaffer...and it only took, as Ryan said, a month and fifteen minutes.

Next up: The BMV. Stay tuned.