Things God Whispered

Yesterday I told you how God was faithful to me that weekend through my friends. But they weren't there every minute of the day. There were all those other moments I had to survive.

I had NO idea what I would do with a Saturday. A whole day. How would I survive it? I started by writing, I was restless in bed this morning. Prayed for Isaac and then kept sensing over and over Your voice telling me I am equal to this task. I can do this. You will bring him back and in the meantime I can do this. It’s hard to face a whole day ahead and wonder if I will cross his mind at all. Wonder what You are doing.

I’ve also sensed the call to “be ready,” so I now commit to cleaning…purging of stuff. Help me to be faithful to this task even though it seems a bit hopeless right now.
(Point of clarification...Isaac was in between jobs at this point, and I had no idea where he would end up living once God opened the door for his next assignment. I felt strongly that I needed to be ready to move - right away, if necessary - and I knew that meant I needed to start going through the house and getting rid of things that were unnecessary. I didn't really care about doing so, but I knew it would fill the day, so I started.)

Help me. Purging is harder than I thought it would be. Mostly because Satan throws at me the doubts that this will ever work. I’m cleaning for nothing, he says. Oh God. Help me know that this is where I need to be. Help me submit to the journey and trust you WITH Isaac. Oh Jesus.
Lord the words of Ephesians mean more to me each day as I pray them over Isaac…please open the eyes of both our hearts and teach us what You have for us.

Read this week’s Crazy Love chapter a couple of nights ago but didn’t journal. Convicted on a few points and questioning Your desire for me in this…

First, loved this: “These people were far from perfect, yet they had faith in a God who was able to come through in seemingly dire situations…Having faith often means doing what others see as crazy. Something is wrong when our lives make sense to unbelievers.” Wow.

“True love requires sacrifice. And our love is shown by how we live our lives.” Hmm…well my love for my sweet Isaac is certainly in a sacrificial state right now!

“Jesus was forcing His disciples to trust Him. God would have to come through for them because they had nothing else to fall back on. This place of trust isn’t a comfortable place to be; in fact, it flies in the face of everything we’ve been taught about proper planning. We like finding refuge in what we already have rather than in the hope of what God will provide. But when Christ says to count the cost of following Him, it means we must surrender everything.” Wow and ouch and thank You all at once. This is for me.

“God wants us to trust Him with abandon. He wants to show us how He works and cares for us. He wants to be our refuge. Walking in genuine intimacy and full surrender to God requires great faith.” Oh Jesus. This is what You are teaching me. This is what You require.

And finally: “But God doesn’t call us to be comfortable. He calls us to trust Him so completely that we are unafraid to put ourselves in situations where we will be in trouble if He doesn’t come through.”

Jesus, please come through for me. Please love me. Please bring my sweet Isaac back to me healed and restored and able to love me.