Faith - Day Twenty Eight

Alright. I've been telling you about the bold faith experiment without really telling you about the bold faith experiment. Last Monday night, I came home from an exhauasting two-day adventure of RUNNING. I had come home from my retreat Saturday night and within an hour had overnight company. I was thrilled about that - but being the Martha that I am, I had to whip up brownies and clean up clutter and...and...and. Then Sunday afternoon, between morning and evening church, I rushed around madly setting up a prayer partner group for our ladies at church and preparing the evening service - a special one just for the ladies. Then promptly upon arriving home from THAT service, I had to begin preparing for the first round of Ladies Bible Study which began last Monday night. So by the time I got home Monday night, I was pooped. I fell into bed with a Pampered Chef catalog and realized that was the first rest I'd seen since my weekend of amazing rest.

I'd just begun to drift off to sleep when God woke me up. I tried to argue that I was sleepy, but I've learned not to do that. He seemed urgent. He reminded me of my pastor's sermon the day before - about faith. About bold faith. Yes, I remembered it. Couldn't He see the page of notes I took?

Immediately He planted in my heart something to pray about. It seemed ridiculous. I rolled my eyes. But He prodded again. What??? Why should I pray about that? It's too bizarre. Get up and pray. And in fact...not only get up now and pray, but pray for 30 days. WHAT?? I'm in the middle of another 30 day experiment!! I'm going to have to quit my job to make time for experimentation! But the feeling only got stronger. So I crawled out of bed, rummaged through the closet for a new composition book to make as a journal for the 30 day expeiment. And I uttered my first prayer about it. I am pretty sure I blushed during it, because it just seemed crazy.

But I'm telling you, every day for the last week, that has been the first thing on my mind in the morning and the last thing floating through my head at night. And literally dozens of times during the day, there the challenge goes.

Yesterday I found myself begging God for the situation to be resolved. I was in full-force pleading status and God stopped me in my tracks. This 30 day experiment is not about begging. It's about believing. And I have to learn in my heart that there is a difference. God wants to see if I have enough faith to believe that this totally outlandish, impossible, crazy idea could actually take place. And let me tell you - it's so out there, that it would have to be a God thing if it actually happened.

But for the next twenty-something days, I'm pressing forward in prayers of bold faith, proclaiming God's ability to do the impossible. I am growing my faith.

What does any of this have to do with love? Well, the end of the chapter says that these three remain: faith, hope, and love. And I think that in my life of loving other people, there are going to be times when the only way I can love them is if my faith is big enough to let God change me into a loving person. Or into the loving person that they need at that time. My love is pointless if it's not rooted in a great big faith in a Great Big God.