Blow Your Nose...and Keep Going

I just had an honest-to-goodness snot-and-tears meltdown. It felt SO GOOD. I'm sitting here with red, burning eyes, my box of Puffs Plus with aloe, probably interestingly smeared makeup, and the makings of a headache, but it was still a cry well worth it.

I was journaling (not the best penmanship due to blurry vision) as I cried because I was so frustrated. God has nudged - almost to a pushing-over point - a prayer that I've been inconsistent in praying even though I know it's what He wants me to do. I've been inconsistent because this prayer requires a lot of faith from me, and right now, I'm finding myself to be a bit short on the bold faith. And yet He brings it up multiple times a day and I know He expects me to at least make a concerted effort.

So I opened my Bible to read my verse on prayer for today, and it is Deuteronomy 9:26. In this verse, Moses is remembering what it was like to come down from the mountain, after having had an incredible encounter with God and receiving the Ten Commandments...only to find the golden calf party in full swing. I'd read last night about his anger...and about God's anger. And I read about Moses praying a prayer of intercession for his own brother's life to be spared, because God was so angry with Aaron for mis-leading the people and allowing them to do such a thing. I remember journaling last night about how hard it is to pray for people when you're mad at them and would prefer to beat them up...

...And then tonight I read how for 40 days and 40 nights, Moses stretched out on his face and prayed for God to spare the entire NATION of Israel, despite their sin and rebellion. I stared at it for a while on the page of the Bible. Moses took 40 days and nights out of his life to lay stretched out on the ground before God and beg for an entire nation to be spared when they didn't even deserve it.

If he could do that, surely I can find it within myself to pray for this thing which is supposed to be a GOOD thing - a blessing. It's not easy to pray for...but certainly easier than over a month on the ground begging for the lives of a rebellious people!

Kind of puts it in perspective. So with that said...I shall blow my nose and keep going.