I'm exhausted. I'll admit it. Not just exhausted because it's the Friday of a long week. Not just exhausted because it's 11:30 and time for bed. But exhausted because the attempt of putting together the three parts of love that I've studied this week did not go well today. I was in tears before 8:30 even showed up. Everything and everyone that could get on my nerves...seemed to. It wasn't long before I didn't even bother to torture myself (which is what it felt like) with reminders of being loving in all I said and did.
I was reading a blog earlier today - Deb Wuertley's blog. She was talking about her daily routine and how the amount of time it takes her to do her daughter's hair depends on the style - and French braids take the longest. Boy do I remember the days of French braids. If you didn't know me prior to my senior year in high school, let me just tell you that I had enough hair on my head to make approximately 412 Locks of Love donations. Okay so that might be a slight exaggeration, but I had HAIR. It was long, and it was thick. That translates to "it was up out of my way in the summer." My friend Cyndi (fellow lotsa hair girl) taught me to French braid my own hair and I was so excited to learn it. I became an expert at quickly braiding my hair. But then there were days. Days when I had to start over four or five times. Days when I hated my hair and would have shaved it all off had a razor been nearby. And on those days, I'd have to put my elbows down on the dresser, mid-braid, to rest, because my arms ached from being up so long trying to get the stupid braid to look right.
That's how I felt today about 1 Corinthians 13 and the great love assignment of 2006. I was trying to braid these three strands I've been studying...and I just got so tired. I hurt and ached and got sick of trying to make it work. I wanted to forget it and rip that page out of my Bible and just study around it. (Not really - for those of you who might find even such a suggestion offensive.)
It's hard to love people when it doesn't come naturally to you, and it's Friday morning of a long week with little sleep, and you don't have your normal caffeine to start your day. And frankly, I didn't want to do it.
I thought maybe because I failed, God would keep me in the first three verses for another day. Apparently not. Apparently now I get to venture into verse four...and the dreaded phrase: Love is patient. I'm sure tomorrow being Saturday will in no way make that an easier lesson. But as I head into the beginning of the famous list that is the bulk of this chapter, I realize how important those braided strands are to the list. In what I say...in what I know and think...in what I do....there must be love. And tomorrow at least...that love must be patient - in my words, in my mind, and in my actions.
2 comments:
Your comment about ripping the page out of the Bible reminded me of something from my childhood. I spent the night with your family one Saturday night and we headed to good ole South Marion Friends the next morning. I don't know how it came up, but I remember your mom saying in the car that nothing should ever go on top of the Bible - not sure if a piece of paper was on top of a Bible in the car, or maybe my Bible was on top of your Bible (would that count)
but I have always remmebered that. Am I going crazy, did I dream that scenario up, or is this true? Becaue to this day I don't let anything rest on top of the Bible in the car.
Oh you are definitely not crazy!!! I laughed out loud when I read that. Yes the rule in our house was that nothing should ever be on top of the Bible - and also, at least my Dad says, the Bible should never be directly on the floor. And like you, to this day, my Bible is always on the top of my stack of books, and I try really hard to make sure it's never on the floor. Funny how she said that to you too and you remember it!!
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