August 22, 2006. I woke up this morning (several snoozes into the day), determined to put into practice what I learned from verse one yesterday. And so as I went through this day, I repeatedly slapped the back of my hand, bit my tongue, pursed my lips, and at times even walked away from conversation in an attempt to watch my words and say them with love. I even tried smiling (though I'll be the first to admit it was fake) at someone who irritated me to death and found myself softening as the conversation went on. (What do you know? Maybe it does work.)
I found myself in the middle of several occasions today when I was truly annoyed. Annoyed at stupidity, annoyed at interruption, annoyed because I had so little sleep despite my best efforts, annoyed because I knew a long day loomed...annoyed.
And each time I started to gripe out loud, God tapped me with a reminder that the people on the other end of my thoughts are His children just as much as I am. And though the problems in their world are easily solved in my mind, they aren't easily solved to them. One person today thanked me profusely after I rattled off an answer I can give in my sleep. Only then did I stop to remember that this isn't every day business to just everybody.
Hence verse two came to life before my very eyes. "If I have the gift of prophecy and can fathom all mysteries and all knowledge, and if I have a faith that can move mountains, but have not love, I am nothing." It wasn't prophecy, but it was knowledge - and to those calling me, it remained a mystery. It was a gift to them that I could explain answers to their baffling questions. But I had to ask myself every time - Am I being loving about this? ICK.
The last word in that verse really got to me. NOTHING. It's a strong word. I'm meaningless and pointless apart from love. It doesn't matter that I know answers. It doesn't matter if I'm talented. It doesn't matter if I'm called to serve God - because If I'm not going to do any of that with love, it's nothing...and I'm nothing.
Tonight I was talking to one of my friends on the phone. We were comparing the life situations of two of our friends. They have different details but the same root problem. And we know just how to fix it - if they'd only listen to us. And then there was this other story I was telling her about a totally irrational line of thought someone had today - and how I knew just what the correct line should have been. Why don't people listen? Well probably it's because we need to shut up and start working on our own problems. But you know - it doesn't matter that we're wise that way (if it really is wisdom) - because if we don't love those people - all our logic is pointless.
I don't want to be pointless. I have work to do. 28 more days. Can I handle this?
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