Our Plan B Weekend

Ryan and I had been looking forward to this past weekend for quite a while. We had registered to attend an overnight prayer retreat through our church. For the last two years, right around this time of year, we have attended a marriage retreat, but we decided this year, we sorely needed the prayer. We have so many decisions to make about our future, and we feel stuck at every turn. We craved the chance to get away, to be in a consecrated spot, and to have no distractions so we could pray. We even hoped someone might pray with or over us.

I was even convinced that part of the delay in my surgery {which initially annoyed me} was perhaps ordained so we could go to our retreat. We needed this more than I think we've needed anything in our entire marriage.

And then Ryan got sick. Ryan never gets sick. Like ever. In our married life, he's had exactly one cold, and it was super short lived and barely knocked him over. So when it started earlier this week, I anticipated another round of that.

And then came Friday. I went to work and I hit up the prayer warriors. My prayers didn't seem to be working, so I went to all my work friends and asked them to pray. I told them Ryan's illness reeked of Satan's schemes, and I was convinced he was trying to keep us away from the prayer retreat. Lynne and I closed the door to our office, and she prayed with conviction and authority for the sickness to leave Ryan's body.

And shortly after that, he texted and said he was not better. He was worse. He didn't ever remember being this sick before, and I believed it. I also knew it was time to get real. We were not going to that prayer retreat. I cried. I cried because we were out a decent amount of money. I cried because Ryan felt worse. I cried because I perceived Satan had won that round and it pushed an already defeated Bekah a little farther down.

Before coming home, Ryan went to a clinic and came home with a diagnosis of an upper respiratory infection and an armload of meds. He curled up on the couch and that was the extent of our Friday night. I sat beside him and tried to pray...tried to create an atmosphere of the prayer retreat in our home, but in truth, I was just mad. I cried angry, bitter tears while I prayed, and my words could have been classifed more as a bitter diatribe than anything else. And I'm pretty sure there's a good possibility they went nowhere. The words, I mean.

 I picked up a pizza, as we had no food in the house. We had planned to eat dinner at the retreat. Ryan sprayed his nasal spray and took his pills, and I sat and was angry.

That night we slept apart in the same house for the first time. I hadn't slept in two nights...waking at every sniffle. I slept for nine glorious hours {once I finally got to sleep...I cannot, for the life of me, fall asleep without Ryan beside me}. When I got up, I found Ryan upright on the couch, reading over our financial statement for 2014, watching TV, drinking a fresh cup of coffee and with a wealth of Googled information about his respiratory infection. He'd been awake since 5:30.

In an attempt to be a better wife than I felt I'd been the day before, I made Snickerdoodle waffles for breakfast and launched into some laundry and housework:

I ran some of our errands, and while I was out, I picked up a balloon and a coke for Mister Sickie. I love getting treats when I'm sick, so I figured it might brighten his day, too.

And then it was time for the next hard part of the weekend. ANOTHER plan we had was to celebrate Valentine's Day together. We'd bought tickets to attend a comedy show in Kokomo - that featured one of Ryan's really good friends from high school. We hated to lose the money on those tickets too, since we'd just thrown away the retreat money, so Ryan encouraged me to invite my friend Amber to go with me. She happened to be free...so that night, I got dressed up and drove to Amber's house to pick her up. And Ryan stayed home in his couch-nest to work on our taxes. {Because being sick is apparently not punishment enough.}

Amber is so much fun and we had a GREAT time together - and I'm so glad she was free to join me - but it felt so weird to be out without Ryan. I saw a few people I knew, and they all cast a strange look my way to see me out and about without my other half! I figured I was probably starting some unpleasant rumors for the two of us - so if you saw me, NOTHING IS WRONG! HE'S JUST REALLY SICK!!!!

I sent him a picture so he'd know I missed him.

The comedy show was HYSTERICAL. I laughed until I cried. I was really glad I went, even though my heart was sick that Ryan wasn't with me. Amber and I made a quick run to Starbucks {because of course} before I came home to check on my boy.

His balloon had been stolen.

I sat with him until he fell asleep, and then I sneaked off to bed. {It KILLS me to be so far from him, but with a surgery scheduled for tomorrow, I am not allowed to catch what he has. This did NOT help my quinoa for this weekend.} {Quinoa is our word for aura.}

We were scheduled to be greeters at church yesterday, but there was obviously no way he could go, so I got up and ready and went to church just to greet by myself. I missed him.

And apparently he missed me too.

But I tried to be a good wife again...because I left him a card!!

When I came home from church, I ran a couple of errands to get some last minute food we needed. {I'd planned to go Saturday night after the comedy routine, but it was 11 p.m. before I got home and I wasn't interested in being out unchaperoned that late.}

There's a reason why Ryan always goes to the store with me...he keeps me from losing my mind. :)

I got us some subs at Subway and came home...and we watched pictures coming in from our nephew's first birthday party, which we also missed. Heartbreaking!!

By Sunday evening, Ryan was breathing better and his cough had let up quite a bit, but he had a debilitating headache all day. That was hard to watch.

Pretty much by the end of Sunday, I was just ready to go to bed and forget the weekend ever happened. For a girl whose main love language is physical touch, almost a whole week of no kissing and minimal contact had really taken a toll. Add to that the disappointments of no prayer retreat, no Valentine's Day date, and no birthday party...and the wonder if my prayers were getting ANYWHERE past the ceiling...and the beginning of surgery nerves setting in...well...I'm sure thankful for the grace of God and Ryan.

As the night went on, he did perk up and said his headache had dulled significantly. When I saw him playing around with vacation ideas, I knew he was going to be okay. :) 

At this point, tomorrow is still scheduled to be surgery. I have to stay well and Ryan has to get well. No pressure, right?

{Note: I realize this might make it look like I've lost all sight of faith, and that's not true. I decided not to edit out my raw heart simply because faith isn't always easy. I don't always do it well, and I know that in my life, sometimes it's helpful to know that others struggle too. So today I decided to let you see my struggle. I do know and believe with all my heart that God does all things well, and a weekend of annoyance was not off His radar or out of His control. Thankful He understands my struggles and helps me do and be more than I think I can.}

The Shafferland Shuffle

* I managed to get up and out for church last Sunday; I was tired, but it was good to sit in church to hear the music and the sermon. We waited all day to see what would come of the projected foot or more of snow. In Marion, it ended up being more like an inch, but we did get some really pretty snow to watch for a while. Ryan and I were lazy all day. I've been instructed to rest, so I did my best.

* Monday was our 26 monthiversary, and we both had the day off work, because I had to meet with the doctor about my upcoming gallbladder eviction. We didn't know, going into the day, if it might even happen that day, but it did not, so we just made the best of the doctor's office date and had a great lunch out at McAlisters after we finished there. I'm sorry we got to be together because of sickness, but I'm in no way sorry we got to spend the day together!!

* Tuesday it was back to work for both of us, and the first day I felt human in several days. I even cooked dinner! I've been asked to be on a small committee at church, and we had our first meeting that night, which was much fun for me, and both Ryan and I helped out one of our friends transport a potter's wheel to and from a demonstration she was giving. I love Ryan's servant heart to help people in need like that. And we got a HUGE faith-boost from helping! Unfortunately, Ryan, who NEVER gets sick, started coming down with a sore throat...I think he was jealous that I was cornering the sick market on my own. :)

* Y'all don't know how much fear I've been living in as Ryan's cold went from cold-ish to WHAT IN THE WORLD IS WRONG WITH THIS MAN...I cannot get this cold. I can't have surgery if I'm sick! So I've been taking so many immunity boosters trying to stay well!! The forecast for Wednesday afternoon was dismal at best, so I ended up leaving work at noon to work from home for the rest of the day. Fireplace? Laptop? Books? Yes please! And Braeya was excited because I had a snack with milk, so she got the leftovers. Was so glad, later in the day, when the weather got ever so nasty, that I'd come home.

* Thursday was a BUSY BUSY day for me. I am working SO hard to get everything all set for Miss Lynne, so when I'm gone, she won't have to work any harder than necessary. Of course, I didn't think I was going to GET to work that day, because when I got into Fort Wayne, I drove on the slickest road to date this year. Passed five accidents/slide-offs and almost became the sixth. I was SCARED TO DEATH when I got to work. I was really excited to be there safely, though, because I taped an interview with Katie Farrell from Dashing Dish. I was beside myself with joy! After work, I came home to tend to my poor, sick husband who was, by this point, flat out miserable.

* Friday was supposed to be a really big day for us. Weeks ago, we registered to attend our church's overnight prayer retreat, and we had been SO looking forward to it. We desperately needed that time away focused on prayer. I took the afternoon off work to run errands and pack...and then Ryan texted me at work. He felt even worse, and there was no way we could go. We were devastated. {I possibly cried.} I still took the afternoon off and made my way back to the hospital where I got my ultrasound to pick up a CD of it to take to my surgeon. Ryan went to a clinic, where he was diagnosed with an upper respiratory infection. He came home with his armload of meds and collapsed on the couch. I unpacked our bags and we settled in to try to pray from home.

* Woke up Saturday morning after nine GLORIOUS hours of sleep. Ryan {who had to sleep sitting up on Mo} had been up since 5:30 and was clearly feeling better in mind, if not better in body. He had been googling his infection and reading blogs and watching TV. I made him snickerdoodle waffles for breakfast. I ran some errands during the day, including picking up a cheery balloon and a coke for my handsome Mister Sickie. In addition to buying tickets to the prayer retreat that we had to forfeit, we'd also purchased tickets to a comedy night for last night. We hated to lose that purchase too, so I left Ryan at home and invited my friend Amber to join me for comedy night. It was HILARIOUS, and it was so fun to hang out with her - but it was so weird to be out without Ryan! Here's hoping we can find a new adventure for Valentine's Day.

The Saturday Six

One.

A few weeks ago, I told you that I'd started doing the PhedoraFit workouts. I loved them because they were short and easy to do every day. And a month into it, she quit publishing new ones! BOO!!! I was just getting into my groove! So I've decided to try some of Katie Farrell's workouts from the Dashing Dish site. They're nowhere near as short or as easy, but they are GOOD!

Two.

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Natasha has been blogging about the different provinces in Canada, which I've loved reading - because she makes history and geography FUN. :) This week her focus was on Prince Edward Island. I have this one on my list of places to visit someday - hopefully with my friend Julie - because we love Anne of Green Gables!

Three.

As a bit of an...ahem...voracious journal-keeper, I LOVED this. THIS RIGHT HERE is why I've written about far too much of the mundane. And with good reason!

Four.

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I read this article this week - about single people in the church. Even though I'm no longer single, I'm learning that my heart is still SO TENDER toward those who are single. Whether you are single and longing to be married or you're single and perfectly content to remain that way, this is a good read. I'm still chewing on it.

Five.

Speaking of chewing on it...this week in church, we studied the many different ways people study the Bible. The speaker related the differences to animals {early bird, night owl etc.}. I learned that I am both a cow {chewing on the things I study for long periods of time} and a bat {learning by hearing and bouncing ideas off others.} In honor of this, I am now named the "MooBat." Not an attractive combo, by a long shot, but apparently accurate.

Six.


Living Proof Live | Ft. Wayne from LifeWay Women on Vimeo.
Loved this video that came out from last Saturday's Living Proof Life Simulcast with Beth Moore. This is a taste of the day!! 

Remember That Time...

Yesterday I told you about my day at the Beth Moore Simulcast. Today I'd like to tell you the OTHER half of that story.

Cindy, Marsha and I went to the Coliseum on Friday afternoon to get the WBCL table all set up and ready to go. There weren't very many people there that day {certainly not in comparison to the 11,000 the next day!!} and we were tucked away in a corner of the second floor, arranging and rearranging the table to our liking.

Our table was directly across from the women's bathroom so while Marsha and Cindy wrestled with some tiny lights and fall decor, I took a quick bathroom break.

I'd heard the Coliseum had just renovated all their bathrooms, and my goodness...they were fancy for an arena! Nicer than our bathroom at home, actually. {And considerably more toilets.}

I admired the size of the bathroom stall...and reached to unlock the door.

And it did not unlock.

I twisted it to the right, and it snapped hard and fast into place. I twisted it to the left, and the latch screeched to a halt exactly halfway through. No matter how much I pushed and pulled, rattled and shook, twisted and turned, that door would not unlock.


I don't know if you've ever been locked in a bathroom at an arena...an empty arena at that...but it's an interesting feeling. And by interesting, of course, I mean panic-inducing. I pulled my phone from my pocket and texted to Cindy, "Remember that time when I got locked in the bathroom?" - but she and Marsha were still wrestling the tiny battery-operated lights, and she didn't hear her phone.

Several moments later I finally got the door unlocked, and I ran to the {fancy pants} sink to wash my hands before escaping the bathroom. I don't care how nice and new it is...I had no desire to spend the night there.

The next morning, before the place flooded with women, I went back into the bathroom to try the lock. I'm not an idiot. I didn't go all the way in and lock it behind me. I stood with the door open and twisted the lock. It seemed to be moving better, so I went back to my post at the table.

An usher came by and I mentioned the debacle from the day before. She went inside and checked it out, before declaring it worked just fine. I tried not to raise an eyebrow and went about greeting the women at my table.

Halfway through the first session, when the halls were nearly empty, I stood alone behind the table. Beth's voice resonated from inside, and as I strained to hear her, a woman rushed out of the bathroom, came over to me and said with wide eyes, "Someone just got stuck in the bathroom and another lady had to let her out by using a coin in the outside of the lock."

I looked at her and said, "I know exactly what stall you mean." I went in search of the usher, who radioed for help. They had to shut down the entire bathroom while a handyman went inside with his toolbox to fix it.

So good that happened during a slow time. I can't imagine telling 50 women in a bathroom line that they'll have to go elsewhere while the stall lock gets fixed!

And in unrelated news...

...I sneaked in to take a picture or two of the worship team while they sang. I felt a hand on my shoulder and an usher pulled me aside. When she saw my station lanyard, she let me go, but she urged me to hurry and said, "They don't want you in the aisle. Fire hazard."

Now I've been called a lot of things in my day, but fire hazard is a new one. Exactly how much weight have I gained??

Let me tell YOU. That bathroom lock is a way worse fire hazard than me snapping a couple of pictures!

This concludes story time with Fire Hazard #1. 

Beth Moore!

So you know I love me some Beth Moore. You can only imagine my sheer and utter DELIGHT earlier this year, when I found out she was coming to Fort Wayne!!!!! {Overuse of exclamation points. Don't care.}

If you're not familiar with Beth, she speaks in cities around the country throughout the year, but during one of them each year, her teachings are simulcast around the nation {and even world}. This year, not only did she visit Fort Wayne, but she brought her SIMULCAST to Fort Wayne!

I was really excited to find out she was coming our way - and excited to find out I was assigned to work it for the station!

Friday afternoon, Marsha, Cindy and I went to the Coliseum to set up the WBCL table - which was right by the women's restroom. HA! Lots of people got to hang out with us while they waited in line!

 
Saturday morning, I got up at 5:00 and was on the road by 6:15 to get to the Coliseum before the doors opened. That is really early on a Saturday, if you're not sure!!

We had so many visitors at our table - which was fun. I loved running into some of my friends throughout the day. {Thanks for finding us in the big old building!!!}

My friend Faith was there...and the usher asked if she was my sister. It's been a while since we got that question!

And my new friend, Elisa. She and I met back during SHARE in January and I've just loved getting to know her!

Also TIA!!! Tia, it was a joy to meet you. Thanks for the kind words you always leave here for me - and for stopping by to meet me!

My hilarious friend Kerri stopped in to say hi. She is SERIOUSLY one of the funniest people I know. And her daughter seems to be shaping up to be just as funny.

There were many more, but I didn't get to have pictures with everyone {boo}. And there were many I didn't know, but I loved talking with them anyway!

OH! Before I forget - also got to share the day with my beautiful mother-in-law, Nita, and my good friend Ronda. And I do believe these two are now new friends, and I just love that more than I can tell you! 

And I got to work with Cindy and Marsha - which I don't get to do very often. And I really enjoy them so much. They made the day so much fun!

When we started the day, the arena looked like this:

By the time the first session began, it had been transformed:

11,000 women worshiping together...is a beautiful sound. I didn't get to hear much of the music, because I was still working at the table, but I will tell you that the strains of Great is Thy Faithfulness made it into the hall and almost undid me. I love that song {had it in our wedding!} and I loved hearing the ladies sing it.

Travis Cottrell is her worship leader, and he and the whole team did a fabulous job {from what I could hear in the hall}!

And then Beth took the stage to teach. I didn't get to hear much of her first two sessions, but her last one struck me straight in the heart {more on that another day}. I appreciate her no-nonsense approach to Scripture, but also her incredibly compassionate heart toward all women. And as a bonus? She is just flat out FUNNY.

The sessions wrapped up in the late afternoon, and we tore down our table and drove home. {I think it took as long to get out of the parking lot and away from the immediate area of the Coliseum as it did to actually drive all the way back to Marion! Ha!

This day will long stay with me; it was an honor to be part of it, and God did some pivotal things in my heart through Beth's teaching and through the women I met. Long day, but thankful for it!

Shafferland Shuffle

* Last Sunday, as you now know, was the day Ryan headed out for his whitewater rafting trip with the guys. I tried SO HARD to be brave, but that pretty much failed by 8:30 in the morning. We enjoyed a coffee date in the cafe area before church, and then we sat together in church before I drove Ryan to Kokomo to drop him off for his trip. He and his friend Shawn {and six other guys} headed to West Virginia and were kind to send me pictures along the way, which so greatly helped. I headed to the home of one of my blognonymous friends who was sweet enough to occupy me for the day. May I add that sand is GREATLY therapeutic??

* Monday was our first full day of our married life to not see each other. And surprisingly, I handled it better than I thought I might. Ryan was a sweetheart and got up SUPER early to call me before I got ready for work, and he sent me tons of pictures and videos throughout the day. The only anxious time was waiting for him to be done with the actual rafting trip. When I got the thumbs up picture, I had a HUGE smile on my face. He had a blast, and after rafting, they went for a hike through some gorgeous country!! I kept busy at work and had dinner with one of my friends that night!

* Tuesday was t.h.e.  l.o.n.g.e.s.t.   d.a.y.   e.v.e.r. Seriously EVER. Ryan wasn't done adventuring yet. Tuesday was ziplining day! Treetops, cable bridges, cold sweats for this wife. :) He had a blast and then got in the car for the 8 hour drive back to me! I had dinner with my friend Lynn that evening, and as soon as I left her house, I sped {possibly literally} to Kokomo for the sweetest reunion!

* Ryan and I both took Wednesday off work - and it rained LIKE CRAZY the entire day, so it was pretty much the perfect day to be home! We got to sleep in and watch a LOT of TV and movies and just rest. We did venture out a couple of times for quick errands. The rain was CRAZY! {When you're under two awnings and it's still pouring on you, it's really raining.} After being angry with me for Ryan's absence, Braeya finally forgave me and sat on my lap for a while. RARE!

* Thursday morning it was back to work for us...sadly in the dark. Our cheery summer mornings have waned. :( After work, we went to Buffalo Wild Wings for an early date night dinner, and then we came home to watch The Biggest Loser. I realize those last two things don't really match, but we did them anyway.

* This coming week, I'll be doing my very first solo-hosting of Mid-Morning {more about that tomorrow} and it was so strange to see my name entered in online for that first show!! That afternoon, some of us from the station went to set up for the Beth Moore Living Proof Life simulcast! We've been looking forward to this event all year and I was so excited that it was time to set up our booth!!

* Saturday morning I had to get up even earlier than normal to drive to Fort Wayne for the simulcast! It was so amazing to see that arena filled with so many women praising God and soaking up what He had for them to learn! It was a long, long day, but so wonderful in absolutely every way. I am still soaking up what I learned. Ryan spent the day working hard at home while I was gone; man I am thankful for all he does to help when I have a long work-week!

The Saturday Six

One.

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Throughout the year, Beth Moore travels around the country with her Living Proof Live conference and reaches THOUSANDS of women with her teaching. Today she's in Fort Wayne. As in...where I work! And today isn't just for Fort Wayne. It's the day of the Living Proof Live Simulcast, which means the conference will stream to churches and groups all over the place! I'm excited to be working this event for the station, but I wanted to let you know it was happening in case you're inclined to pray for the many women needing a touch from God's Word today!

Two.

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I LOVE a good story, and KariAnne over at Thistlewood Farms is a good storyteller. I LOVED her posts this week about the house before Thistlewood Farms. This is part one...
...and this is part two.


Three.

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Some of you might be familiar with Bible teacher Christine Caine, but some of you might not know her. She's an author, a speaker on the Women of Faith circuit, and she is heavily involved with campaigns to end human trafficking. Earlier this summer she was diagnosed with thyroid cancer, and she has subsequently had surgery and has been declared cancer free. But this blog post was powerful. Whether or not your life has been closely touched by cancer {and I can hardly imagine that it hasn't, anymore}...this post is worth a read.

Four.

Not gonna lie. Pretty excited that The Biggest Loser is back. I LOVE this show!! I don't have a favorite contestant yet, but I do like the new trainers. I am not a big fan of change, but I think this is going to be a good change for this season!!  

Five.

Love Francis Chan's books...but this is a whole new side of him I'd never seen!

Six.

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Found this blog this week - more healthy eating recipes. It looks interesting to me! I y haven't been able to dive fully through it, but I wanted to pass it on to you just in case there are more hidden treasures than I even know!!