Yes and No, No and Yes

This week, I started reading Your Sacred Yes by Susie Larson. Yes, you can expect a full report on the book when I've read it. Susie is, in my opinion, a gifted and anointed writer who speaks truth with much wisdom, compassion and passion. Lynne interviewed her about this book a couple of weeks ago, and just as I soaked up her on-air words, I'm soaking up her written words.

This line...in the introduction, no less...was for me: Nothing drains us more than signing up for things God never asked us to do.

In the last eleven weeks, since I began telling people of my decision to resign from my job, I've had so many questions about why. And there are multiple answers. There are also answers I'm sure I don't even know just yet.


But I think that quote encapsulates it more than I knew.

Let me back up, though.

Four years ago, when I left my eleven-year position at IWU, I knew without a single doubt in my typically-doubt-filled brain that God had called me to walk away from the security of that job and step out in faith to try something new, something beyond my comfort zone, and something entirely different than I'd ever done. I can still tell you, without wavering, about every door that swung wide open for me and pointed me to that job.

Going to WBCL was not a mistake. It was not a bad choice. It was a God-ordained appointment that I was 100% obedient in meeting, and I stand by that decision with all my heart. God led me to that job, and I went.

But in the last four years, life has drastically changed for me, and now the God-ordained appointments I have look different. {Remember my chat about change earlier this week? Got a heap of it going on in my own world right now.} And months ago, when I felt the first pangs of change and felt the first Holy nudges to step down, I grabbed an invisible pen and began rapidly signing up...for things God never asked me to do.

The signing up took the form of looking ahead on the work calendar and believing I needed to stay because...Lynne needed a vacation so they needed a backup host. Or because...a big event loomed just a few weeks away and they needed my help. Or because...Share was coming and that's such a busy time. Or because...or because...or because.

The reasons I wanted to stay were good reasons. They were to help Lynne, to help the station, to avoid disappointing the listeners, to shoulder the load. They were good and noble and even God-honoring in my heart...except...

I was signing up for things He never asked me to do.

Gulp.

I knew in this season, obedience didn't mean to stay. It meant to go. It meant to say a sacred yes to my new assignments. {Except Susie hadn't published the book yet so I didn't know to call it that!}

So that's what I'm doing. I'm choosing to say no to things that have been dear to me so I can say yes to things that are dear to Him.