Small World, Big Impact: Paula

Can I introduce you to another person who had a big impact on my life? Waaaaaaay back in the day, when I first started working as a student worker in the Financial Aid Office at IWU, I had the opportunity to work with some truly wonderful people They all left huge impressions on my heart in different ways, but this one today is so burned in my heart. I can still see this moment in my mind.

***

I wasn't trying to eavesdrop, but I was in the same room with her, and I had to be there to pull the files I'd been asked to work on that day. I knew she was talking to her daughter on the phone. I heard her say, "Well, I have to work over a little tonight, but you do what you can on your math, and I'll help you with the rest when I get home."

When she hung up, I turned around and said, "Paula, you're such a good mom." I knew she was divorced and had three children, all in or near their teen years. I knew she worked many, many hours each week, and yet I had watched her juggle every day so that each child's needs were met at all times. I had seen her use her lunch hours to pick them up from school. I heard her check on them every day when she knew they should be coming home. She had made sacrifices of both time and money to give them what they needed, and when she could - what they wanted.

"I do the best I can," she told me. "I can't do everything, but if my babies need something and I and I can get it for them or help them with them, I will." I loved her attitude. I knew a lot of parents who wouldn't even help their kids with what they needed. I knew a lot of other parents who were willing to help their kids, but they griped and complained the whole time. Paula never did. She always smiled, and though I knew she was tired from working long hours into the evenings and on the weekends, she accepted the need to do that and completed her tasks without complaining.

How could she not be bitter? I wondered. I knew she had a wish list of things she would like to accomplish for herself. Things she wanted to volunteer for and projects she wanted to complete. But all of those things took a back seat to her children. They were her priority. She found ways to take them on vacation, even if she was low on money. She wanted them to have a fun time during the summer. She encouraged them to get jobs and offered to drive them to and from work in the summer, even if that meant she had to forfeit her lunch hour every day. Many days, she ate popcorn for lunch while she sat at her desk. She had little help with the kids, but she accepted that, too.

Thank you, Paula, for showing...for living...a life that proves you care about your children and you understand they are a responsibility. Thank you for shouldering all the responsibilities, even when you did so all alone. You provided a good example to me of what I need to do if I have children of my own. Thanks for your positive attitude. I've so often complained about petty things, when you did so much with a cheerful attitude. I know sometimes you hurt, and sometimes you were so tired, but you never stopped smiling or going. Thank you.

***

Paula stopped working at the school a few years later, and although I ran into her a couple of times after that just running around town, I've not seen her for years. I have no idea what is happening in her life or her kids' lives now, but I've always been thankful for her example. Even though we don't plan to have children, I know these lessons go far beyond a life with kids of my own. Still grateful. Still hope I can live sacrificially in the day-to-day.