When You Say "I Do."

If you've been here a while, you know that Ryan and I created our own definition of speed dating. We dated for two months, got engaged, and two months later...we were married. Though we packed a whole lotta everything into those four months, we did manage to find time to dream about the future in between the dating, the planning, and the wedding assembly.

Our dreams were probably typical and wouldn't shock anyone. We dreamed about what life would be like when we could wake up and go to sleep together. We dreamed about holidays shuffling from family gathering to family gathering. We dreamed about vacations and buying gifts for each other. We dreamed about just doing life together...from cooking to doing laundry to arranging furniture.

It all looked really pretty in our heads. Neat and tidy...just the way we like our lives.

Things haven't quite turned out the way we dreamed them. Commuting gets in the way. The house we just sold got in the way for a couple of years. Major home repairs that came with a hefty price tag became invisible vacations. {It's hard to convince yourself that a week at the ocean looks a lot like Pex plumbing...though both do involve water, I suppose.} Periodontal disease and ensuing treatment got in the way.

And in moments like those, I was so grateful that when we stood in the sand on our wedding day, in front of the tiny cloud of witnesses who had traveled to Florida...and the handful of swimsuit-clad strangers who huddled in as closely as they could...that we asked people to pray for us. Not just on that day with its warm breeze and stunning sunset. But in every day to come when we popped into people's minds. On the days when they might not have a clue what was happening in Shafferland, but that didn't mean something wasn't happening. We asked that cloud of witnesses to be our pillar of cloud...leading us by example and leading our names to the Throne regularly.

So many times in the last two years, we've felt those prayers, as we've learned this dance that is marriage. The rhythm of figuring out how to mesh two lives and unexpected obstacles. How to reconfigure dreams to match the reality staring at us.

This past summer, another couple got married. We weren't at their wedding, but I cuddled up with my laptop and a giant cup of coffee to look at every single picture posted to Facebook after the big day. The bride and groom were radiant. The wedding...and the marriage...had been long bathed in prayer. The witnesses gathered around glowed as much as the bride and groom and you just knew this was one of God's couples. Ordained. A mighty life and witness to be created by this union. The bride's mom had been my mentor after my breakup with Isaac and God had used her in powerful ways in my own life. I knew her love for her daughter. I knew her love for her now-son-in-law. I knew her belief that they were unquestionably right for each other and dedicated to love and service.

And no doubt, they dreamed some dreams that looked a lot like mine with Ryan a couple of years ago.

So the post I never expected to read was that this past Christmas...their first as a married couple...they spent separated by thousands of miles, while Jason fought for life and health in a treatment facility out of state. I never expected to see that their monthiversaries have been more apart than together, as they've been separated all but two of their married months. That the bride wakes up to photos of her husband but not to his present smile. That her weekends aren't filled with newlywed dates and adventures, but with her family, who has risen up to support her in this mapless journey.

My heart sank and rolled sick in my chest as I thought about the bumps in the Shafferland road. They've been hard for us, and I will not disown that, but my goodness. We've faced them side by side and hand in hand.

I do believe Lauren has lived a love I haven't even known - loving from thousands of miles away. Being a bride minus her groom. Praying over a husband instead of with him. I have tears in my eyes even writing this because I know this wasn't her dream. And yet she is still there, still loving, and eager to, in less than a week now, welcome her husband home for the next phase of treatment, done back here in the presence of family and friends.

I wanted to tell you about them today for a few reasons:

* If the names Jason and Lauren come to your mind...will you pray for them? Pray for strength and healing and perseverance and provision?

* If you go to a wedding...will you commit to praying for that couple any time the Lord brings them to mind?

* In fact, if you go to a wedding...will you commit to praying for that couple regularly for at least the first year?

* If you are married...will you commit to praying over your own marriage regularly, that you will be able to withstand whatever comes your way and that your love will grow even when life is not a dream?

* If you are not married...will you commit to praying over your future marriage, so you can have a hedge of protection in place when storms roll as they have for Jason and Lauren?

Don't give up dreaming. I believe God delights in watching us dream and in making a way for some of those dreams to come true! But life is not always dreamy. In this new year, I ache for a renewed commitment to pray over couples and marriages...for their perseverance and for God's glory to be seen magnificently in the good dreams and the bad. {And by the way, if you don't see Jesus in Lauren's testimony, you need to clean your glasses!!}

***** Jason and Lauren's story can be read in more detail here - which is also a site dedicated to raising funds for Jason's continued treatment beginning in about a week. *****