Cultivating

If you've hung around Bekah's Bits very long, you probably know that I always pray for God to guide me to a theme verse for the year...and in general ask for His guidance on what the plan is to be for that year.

Last year my theme verses were from Isaiah and they were all about God bringing about new things, and boy did He ever do that in my life in 2011! Then, while on spring break in March, God brought the FFH song Undone into my world and made that my Lent theme...and then Lent just never seemed to end for me! All year long, He was calling me to come undone and surrender to HIS plan over my own.

This year my theme verse is also from Isaiah..."My thoughts are nothing like your thoughts," says the Lord. "And my ways are far beyond anything you could imagine." - Isaiah 55:8 NLT

And while it's not yet time for Lent, God has also given me a key word for this year: cultivate. I'm not entirely sure what it means for me. (I mean I know what the word cultivate means...hello!...but I'm not sure what it means for ME in the year to come.)

I do know this much. Last year, God heaped on me a whole bunch of new things. New job, new commuting lifestyle, new friends, newfound confidence, new, new, new. And honestly, it was all very overwhelming. Overwhelming in a good way, but overwhelming.

I "came undone" as much as I knew how, to accept these new blessings, but I had no idea how to organize them or anything of that sort.

And so He calls me to cultivate. Cultivate the new job and its responsibilities. Cultivate new friendships that have begun. Cultivate my relationship with Him, which has changed and deepened from what it used to be.

And yet in all of it, I must remember that His ways are not mine. I can make all the cultivation plans I want (and believe me...I will plan!) but if He calls me to cultivate differently, I must follow His lead.

As I did my devotions on New Year's Day, I kept hearing the old hymn Day by Day in my mind. The line "He Whose heart is kind beyond all measure gives unto each day what He deems best" played over and over. I wrote in my journal, That's what You've always done - and it's honestly what I want. I couldn't have fathomed what You had in 2011 and I know 2012 is beyond me also. Your heart IS kind and good beyond all measure. WHATEVER You bring is right. I don't need to know it now.

And so I wait. I wait for Him to direct me in cultivating what He's offered. I wait for Him to love me in ways that are outside the scope of my ability to think and plan.