A Look Back at January

Last week, I had a few (very few) spare minutes and decided to start reflecting on this year. It's almost December, and I'm the sort of person who likes to wrap up a year. So I went back and read through my January blog posts.

WOW.
God was setting up the year right and left, and I had no clue.

This is what I wrote on January 1:

And then I remembered this verse...one I learned years ago..."So do not fear, for I am with you; do not be dismayed, for I am your God. I will strengthen you and help you; I will uphold you with my righteous right hand." - Isaiah 41:10 - God knew. He saw the hurt and confusion and joy all fighting for first place in my heart and head.



I had no clue that would become the theme for the year. But He had a clue. (By the way - this was the verse Grandma Sue quoted to me when she and I first started talking about Isaac.)
From January 3:

In my mind, I can see the potential that is the office-to-be. I can see the book collection lining the yet-to-arrive shelves. I can see the pictures and baskets of desk supplies. It would be pretty tempting to close the door to that room until “reveal day” and then enter with my mug of steaming coffee and my creative mind…and write masterpieces.
Well, I am not sure about the masterpieces part, but I'm thrilled to say the office-to-be is assembled and the book collection looks just as it did in my mind's eye!!
From January 5:
R.I.P., Mr. and Mrs. Mouse. Once I know you did not procreate in my humble abode, I (hopefully) will find a measure of peace myself.
Some things just don't end. I think I'll save that story for later this week.
From January 8:

But mostly, what I have learned about myself is that my well-intentioned goals, resolutions, covenants, and commitments have put me in boxes that keep me from allowing God to be at work in my life. I am a good rule-follower, but if God would happen to want to do something outside what I'd prescribed, He'd be out of luck.

So this year is His. I'm disciplining myself in the areas of study, exercise and writing, but He takes it from there. If I need to loosen up some of my legalistic patterns, He's got the room to teach me how. If I need to buckle down on something, I have the time for Him to help me make it happen.
Oh Bekah. What were you ASKING!?!!
From January 10:
I think we should look at our situations, even if they’re internal, and decide if they’re worth a dollar of energy…or just ten cents. We need to decide their worth. Not what others would say.
And if they’re worth a dollar…then get in there and spend some energy. Fight. Clean up. Work hard. And if they’re only worth ten cents…then pay the dime and move on.
I think I paid my life savings this year. And I'd do it again - because it was worth it.
From January 15:
I'm hardly an expert. I think if they start a new reality show called The Slowest Loser, I'd make a great contestant.
Didn't expect the weight loss plan I ended up on this year, but after looking at last year's Christmas pictures, I'd say I'd no longer win my aforementioned show.
From January 17:

Planner-people don’t like foggy lives. Anything less than full visibility into the steps ahead is just plain annoying. And yet there are days – like the ones this weekend – when life is full of thick, heavy, choking fog. And while I technically did have a choice about whether or not I was going to drive in it, life does not offer the same option. Life must be lived.

But just like the fog outside my car caused me to occasionally turn down the music and turn up the prayers, the foggy life drives me to my prayer journal and my open Bible. I recognize…more than ever…in those moments that I am dependent…because I can’t see. And I have no power to change that.
Can we say FORESHADOWING???
From January 20:
This is from my quick comment on a new writing idea I had pulled out and begun to research...

And I think it's about to grow. I thought the idea was just going to be a chapter of a larger work. But after I started...I have a feeling it's going to grow and take on a life of its own. Typical with me. :)

Know what it was about? Consecrated time with the Lord. When He sets apart a chunk of time...

From January 23:
I'm still probably on the "high strung" list, but I've mellowed. I think so many years of things not going my way have pushed me to just not insist on having such a scripted way. Make a plan. Know that in all likelihood, it will change. Allow a few moments to work through the alteration. Embrace what really happens. And write about it because it's probably funny.

I wouldn't put this year on the funny list - and probably won't ever put it there. But it sure did mellow me. Yes it did.

From January 24:
This was in response to the reading in Streams in the Desert that day - where the writer talked about how the rests in music are just as important as the notes.

The rests count. And sometimes the rests make the parts that follow all the better.
And I don't mind telling you - this year has been the rest. I'm ready for God to bring on the downbeat.
From January 26:


The Lord himself goes before you and will be with you; he will never leave you nor forsake you. Do not be afraid; do not be discouraged.

...Deuteronomy 31:8