I will be leaving WBCL and Mid-Morning at the end of June.
{Pausing for my heart to restart.}
I still remember the day I told you {with such great excitement} that I was going to be the new Mid-Morning producer, and you all celebrated with me, which I loved. It feels strange to be delivering news of my departure not even four years after I arrived. I love that station. I love that job. I love Lynne and I love all the friends I've made at the station.
Leaving is gut-wrenching.
There is so much to process within myself and with you - and I'm letting you know right now that you'll probably get to read about it in the weeks to come. {Thanks in advance for walking the road with me!!}
But for today, it seems appropriate to back up and tell you that the decision behind this announcement is not about a decision to leave. It's about a decision to obey.
God began the stirrings in my heart about a year ago. I knew He was tapping me quietly and preparing my heart for change. And then the tappings became stronger and the preparation transitioned into an urging to leave. An urging to leave a place I love. An urging to leave a place where so much of who I am today was formed. The place where I got engaged. The place where I celebrated the joy of my marriage. The place where I shared the stories of our newlywed life. The place where I met so many of you.
I didn't want to go. I begged and bartered and bargained...and I asked if we could somehow work out a deal, God and I, but in the end I knew that modified obedience was still disobedience. The knot in my stomach rolled around and refused to leave until I said Okay, God. I'll do it. I will leave.
Ryan and I have prayed and sought the Lord's counsel on the timing of this. We begged and cried and made lists and used all our best logic. We asked God to give us the next step so we could lift our feet from this one. But His direction was this: You may not know what your next step IS, but you do know what it is NOT. And with that, I printed my resignation letter, and I cried while I signed it.
The Monday after Easter, I walked to Lynne's desk and burst into tears. I told her I had made my decision, {she knew of my wrestling}, and I had to obey. I had to go. She cried too, and we prayed together, and then later that week, I cried something like nineteen more times while I told every one of my co-workers individually.
Choosing to obey was costly in the best and worst of ways.
Where do I go from here?
I don't know, my friends. Ryan and I have so many unanswered questions about our future. We have no idea where God will lead us. I don't know if God has another job lined up for my future or if the next step is for me to be a full-time wife and writer.
And if that's His plan, I say HURRAH! I have missed writing and have so many ideas rolling around in my head. If I get the opportunity to serve Ryan with my whole day and write to see what comes of it, that will be a deep privilege.
And if God has another job for me, or one for the two of us together {truly our dream}, then I say HURRAH! If that could happen, it would thrill both of us to the core, and that, too, would be a deep privilege.
I have nine more weeks at the station. Nine weeks to prepare for closure and to await this mysterious new chapter before me. I plan to grieve and celebrate and walk the road as purposefully as I can.
I'm relieved that the news is now public and I can speak freely in this space. I haven't enjoyed keeping this a secret from you, and to those of you {here's looking at you, MJ!!} that have asked about my job THIS WEEK...please know I wasn't trying to lie!! I just wasn't allowed to tell.
Thank you, sweet friends, for loving me like you do. Thanks for loving BOTH of us like you do. And we await further instruction and are thrilled to tell you what's next...just as soon as we know.
