Life-Giving

 

The last two Sundays, I’ve had the chance to share in our home church, and I have enjoyed it so much. It was a tremendous trust offered to me, and I did not take that lightly.

            As I stood with the microphone in hand, I thought back to my high school speech class, with twenty people or less (probably less) in it. Every time I had to give a speech, I stood behind the podium, eyes glued to the index cards five inches from my face, and my voice barely above a whisper. I’m not sure how I even passed the class, much less stayed on the honor roll. My teacher must have been even more gracious than I knew in the moment.

            I told Ryan this week that I remember writing an essay for my senior English class, in which I had to answer the question “If I could do one thing in life and be guaranteed not to fail, I would…”

            My choice was to be a pastor’s wife. Given that I had crushes on a number of aspiring young preachers in those days, it’s not odd to me that I picked it. I don’t remember now all the things I wrote about that (to me) signaled a successful life as a pastor’s wife, but I do remember my teacher’s comment written on the end of the essay.

            I have no idea where she stood in her faith, but I do believe she had eyes, ears, and sanity, so my capabilities were probably glaringly clear to her. At the end of my paper, she wrote, “Or maybe you should be the pastor!”

            Well, I’m not a pastor, but she didn’t miss the mark far on speaking in ministry. When I told Ryan this story, he stared at me with the same disbelief I also feel when I think about that moment. There was nothing about me that would lend anyone to suggest this as a career choice for me. There was nothing about me that would give great hope that I would ever speak above a whisper in the company of more than a couple of people.

            But she said it. And I laughed and shook my head.

            And then I stood in front of my church and shared the words God put on my heart.

            The opportunities to share like that are weighty responsibilities. I take each one very seriously and put so much time, effort, and prayer into them. But I cannot tell you how much I absolutely love that kind of ministry work. I really do. I love it more than I ever thought I would, and I am grateful for each moment offered. They may not be my career, but they are my passion.

            We never know how God might choose to use us. The most unlikely parts of us are sometimes exactly what He chooses!