Reframing Trust

I'm writing this post to myself...and to Ryan...and if, as you read along, you find that it applies to you as well...then you're welcome to gather from it whatever God impresses on you.

Yesterday morning, because I had the day off, I was able to sit at the table and enjoy lingering time with my Bible and journals...no rushing...just enjoying. Praying. Learning. Listening. That is a rare treat in my commuter lifestyle.

I encountered this quote...by Amanda Williams. "The Gospel is not about formulas; it is simply about putting our trust in Jesus."

It reminded me of this blog post I wrote back when Ryan and I were engaged...and were being peppered with questions about why we seemed to defy every single expectation and formula about the road to marriage.

We're finding that on the other side of marriage, people have just as many expectations and follow just as many formulas, and we waver between scrambling to explain ourselves and just throwing our hands in the air and saying "We know why we're doing what we're doing, so that's good enough."

You know as well as I do that our dear friend, Social Media, has brought with it the unwritten and in some cases, unwelcome, permission for anyone to share an opinion. And by opinion, of course, those words are gospel to those writing it. Filters are gone, suggestions are gone, and oh. my. goodness. What a wake of hurt we leave when we spout our words from behind a screen. {And some don't even need the screen. They'll say those words out loud.}

Enough has already been written on that...I can't reinvent it and I'm not trying to. But have you thought about this?

We kind of do the same thing to God.

We know how life should flow. We're quick to tell our friends. And we're quick to tell our God.

We tell Him when and how a relationship should begin. Or end. We tell Him why we need to have a baby right now or why we never want to have one. We tell Him which job we should have and how large its accompanying salary should be. We tell him why this friend and that one is wrong and we {naturally} are right. We offer wisdom on when a house should sell and for how much.

We are bossy little critters.

We hate it when people impose formulas on our lives, but we impose the same formulas on our God.

And I go back to Amanda's quote: "The Gospel is not about formulas; it is simply about putting our trust in Jesus."

My job is to shine the light of Jesus to those around me. To share His Gospel in my every day. However that looks...is accomplished by His writing of my story. And I find it out by trusting Him.

* Trusting Jesus meant that I didn't get married at 22 like I dreamed I would from the time I was 4. And in all those years, that "thorn" of singleness meant that my ability to trust...grew...out of necessity. I learned to live and thrive in ways I never would have if I'd had the luxury of depending on a husband.

* Trusting Jesus meant that I stayed loyal to my relationship with Isaac when everyone told me to bail out because they knew he'd never come back. In the end, they were right. He did not come back. But my choice to obey and follow God's leading to stay meant that my testimony grew into what it is today, as I leaned into Him in that time.

* Trusting Jesus meant that I purchased a home that would eventually become my first home with Ryan. It meant that I had the opportunity to continue our family heritage and legacy through this house.

* Trusting Jesus meant that I took the risk to self-publish a book...which gave me the opportunity to be a guest on Mid-Morning...which gave me the opportunity to eventually apply for a job to be employed there. 

* Trusting Jesus meant that I gave up the security of an eleven year job close to home in order to become a commuter and taking on a job I'd never ever done before. And that job has given me the chance to share my faith and story in ways I never expected.

* Trusting Jesus meant that I chose to trust Ryan when he said he would love me, even though I was terrified to ever trust again. And the redemption and restoration of being loved completely, boldly and unreservedly, has been a testimony in and of itself. 

* Trusting Jesus meant that we chose to get married after 2 months of engagement - because we knew we were doing the right thing by moving forward without waiting. And in every step of our story - clear down to the people who helped us execute our wedding day - we were able to share our faith.

In each of those things I/we didn't follow a formula. I didn't do everything the prescribed way. The expected way.

But oh my goodness. How thankful I am that faith is bigger than a formula. Trusting is better than a timeline.

And even now, as Ryan and I make decisions for our future that might not follow the formulas everyone around us expects, we follow in faith, knowing it really is all just about putting our trust in Jesus.