Okay, people. Today is just a keepin' it real sort of day. You know I work out. And by that, I mean I do some exercise a few times a week for the sheer purpose of lessening the guilt of the chocolate (etc.) I consume. I am NOT (as if you couldn't tell by just looking) some sort of exercise nut. I have nothing against exercise nuts. I just don't have that sort of dedication.
After 2 years of keeping the big chunk of weight loss pretty much under control, I'm more or less happy with my size. But you know how we all have something we hate about ourselves? For me, it's the abs. (Or the fat that occupies the general area that should be sporting abs.)
So I've been working on that lately. Trying some different stuff. But um...yeah that's not going so well.
For starters, this is totally me:
(Source)
So the other day, I lugged out the Health magazine I inherited from Lynne. I creased open the page guaranteed to "tone up in no time with this back beautifying series of poses." I present pose #5:
There will be no photo of my attempt at that pose. But let me assure you. It looked more like I'd been bound and gagged in a robbery gone bad. This body does NOT bend that way. I said to myself, "Well, guess you're destined for a life with an ugly back. Turn the page."
This one promised a firm hiney.
I figured it out. It gets firm when you collapse onto it because your arms aren't strong enough to support your entire body weight. It's kind of like a sandwich press for your rear end. Mmmm...sandwich...
So then I switched to the Fitness magazine and the "Flat Abs Fast" article. I do not even know what possessed me to think I could attempt this one:
Anything that works the "rectus abdominis" is something I should avoid. I was doing okay (and by okay, I mean my back leg was horizontal, not all extended like hers) when I realized I was on my tippy-toe, not my flat foot. In trying to rectus abdominis that mistake, I got a cramp in my hamstring. Notice there where it says "Make it Easier?" Let me help you with that. DON'T DO THIS ONE.
But surely I coulde do the "Magic Carpet Ride," don't you think? Yeah you know why it's called that? Because you get rugburn when you fail.
I think I'll go back to sit-ups...inspired by a Cadbury egg dangling from the ceiling just out of reach.
After 2 years of keeping the big chunk of weight loss pretty much under control, I'm more or less happy with my size. But you know how we all have something we hate about ourselves? For me, it's the abs. (Or the fat that occupies the general area that should be sporting abs.)
So I've been working on that lately. Trying some different stuff. But um...yeah that's not going so well.
For starters, this is totally me:
(Source)So the other day, I lugged out the Health magazine I inherited from Lynne. I creased open the page guaranteed to "tone up in no time with this back beautifying series of poses." I present pose #5:
There will be no photo of my attempt at that pose. But let me assure you. It looked more like I'd been bound and gagged in a robbery gone bad. This body does NOT bend that way. I said to myself, "Well, guess you're destined for a life with an ugly back. Turn the page."
This one promised a firm hiney.
I figured it out. It gets firm when you collapse onto it because your arms aren't strong enough to support your entire body weight. It's kind of like a sandwich press for your rear end. Mmmm...sandwich...
So then I switched to the Fitness magazine and the "Flat Abs Fast" article. I do not even know what possessed me to think I could attempt this one:
Anything that works the "rectus abdominis" is something I should avoid. I was doing okay (and by okay, I mean my back leg was horizontal, not all extended like hers) when I realized I was on my tippy-toe, not my flat foot. In trying to rectus abdominis that mistake, I got a cramp in my hamstring. Notice there where it says "Make it Easier?" Let me help you with that. DON'T DO THIS ONE.
But surely I coulde do the "Magic Carpet Ride," don't you think? Yeah you know why it's called that? Because you get rugburn when you fail.
I think I'll go back to sit-ups...inspired by a Cadbury egg dangling from the ceiling just out of reach.
5 comments:
The running picture? Definitely what I look like trying to do the couch to 5k thing!
I'm glad to know I'm not alone in that! I am also glad I don't have to watch me when I run!! :)
Bekah!!! You once again have me on the floor laughing at you!! I think you have MISSED your calling. I think you need to call Ken Davis and join up with him in his comedy show!! You girl .... are a natural at this!! Thank you so much for giving me a good belly laugh today!! You are priceless!!
Mary jane
LOL!!! I do an hour-long Pilates class twice a week, and I still can't get my abs to turn into six-packs. Oh well, at least I'm keeping them from turning into giant donuts. :)
Mary Jane!!! I have not forgotten you, my friend! A call shall be forthcoming...I do promise. LOL - Ken is way better but I'm honored to be in his league in your book!!!
Sarah - LOL!!!!!!!! I love that! Giant donuts! Mine are at least shrinking into onion rings. HA!
Post a Comment