Bits for Sunday, May 2

There’s something about asking God where you need to work on your life that proves to be both wonderful and dangerous all at the same time.

Today I spent some time in prayer, asking God what needed work in Bekahland. I have time before me that needs to be spent in prayer and preparation. I figured the best method was to ask His opinion.

He had one.

I scribbled in my prayer journal as fast as I could to keep up with the thoughts that came into my mind. Some were areas that I knew needed work, but I hoped if I ignored them, they might go away. They didn’t. Others were areas that were news to me. I guess I always viewed them as just part of who I am – not something that could be fixed, perhaps.

Oh, and guess when we get to start on this project?

Today.

When God goes to work, He goes to work big.

While I don’t particularly enjoy broadcasting my weaknesses, I will tell you that one area He said we get to work on is the area of fear.

I’ve struggled with fear since I was a kid. Very specific, very all-consuming fears that I won’t tell you about in great detail because it’s just far too embarrassing. And once I overcame one, another one would settle in, and until I’d really taken the time to think it over today, I had truly not realized how I have hopped from one fear to the next for the last…lifetime.

Some fears are legitimate. Some are completely irrational.

All are consuming.

And sometimes fear gives birth to fear.

That happened today. I was worrying about one fear when all of the sudden it gave way to a whole secondary fear and before I knew it, I was stressing out over both of them.

How do you get rid of it?

Clearly I’m not an expert. Clearly I’m adept at living in it but not breaking free from it.

So I asked. How do I get rid of it, God? How do I move away from it?

The answer?

Just do it.

You’re kidding me, right?

Apparently He’s not. Apparently (at least with my brand of fear), the answer is to just do it.

Today, that meant to stop pacing and praying about the fear and to instead, sit down and watch TV. Write Bits. Make sweet tea. Do things that don’t involve fear.

I’m not sure I should ask the “how” question to the rest of the things on the list. I might become dreadfully exhausted.