Just Never A Dull Moment

As I've said before - life is comical.

This evening I went to dinner with Rachel from my office. (Rachel is also the one who works out with me - you've read about her in other posts.) She took me to dinner as a thank you for some random times when I'd given her a ride to and from work. Since she was thanking me, she let me pick the culinary destination. Those of you who know me well will understand that for me to actually choose a place to eat is a long and agonizing process. In very unBekahlike fashion, I decided pretty quickly on a place I rarely get to go, and she'd never been.

We went in, ordered our food, chose our table, and had a great dinner. Food was good, conversation was good, life was good. This particular restaurant has a couple of separate dining spaces and we'd chosen the one that was empty - at least when we got there.

Toward the end of our meal, a couple of rather questionable looking, greasy guys came in. I couldn't say for certain how old they might have been - but it wasn't their age that bothered me so much as their general look. I was a little uncomfortable but kind of forgot about it. They milled about and then one sat down at a table behind us (so my back was to him and Rachel could see his face). The other guy, a great big guy with frightening eye issues approached our table. In a voice that sounded kind of like Roz from Monsters Inc. (if Roz happened to be drunk and slurry) he initiated the following conversation.

Eye Guy: Anybody in here wanna smoke?

(Rachel and I ignore him and continue our conversation.)

Eye Guy: Anybody in here wanna smoke?

(Rachel and I realize he is now standing beside our table looking - potentially - at us, and we must respond. We shake our heads no.)

Eye Guy addressing me: You don't smoke?

Me: No.

Eye Guy again addressing me: That your daughter?

(At this point I can see Rachel trying not to laugh and I'm trying not to punch him. WHAT? She is FOUR YEARS YOUNGER THAN I AM!)

Me: Uh no. (Beginning to gather up my stuff to leave.)

Eye Guy: Oh so you guys are college girls.

(Rachel and I remain silent and she begins to clean up her stuff too.)

Eye Guy: I was on a campus once and really felt God there.

Me (Mentally): Really? Is that why you offered us a smoke a second ago before insinuating that we were MOTHER AND DAUGHTER???

Eye Guy: We don't very often see pretty girls here in this town.

Creepy Guy Number Two From Behind Me: Yeah and you're real pretty. Both of you.

Me (Mentally): Right! Cause the back of my head is ultra sexy and that's ALL YOU'VE SEEN!

Eye Guy (to both of us): What are you doing this weekend?

Rachel: We're married. (At this point, we both stand up to leave.)

Eye Guy: Oh come on - you guys don't wanna do some boogie woogie? (Though I was unsure of what his version of "boogie woogie" might entail, he demonstrated some sort of unattractive dance move which gave me a small hint.)

Me: I'm married and I have to go. (Hey, I'm part of the Bride of Christ, thankyouverymuch.)

Rachel and I ran out at this point and I was moving so fast I stepped on her shoe and it came clear off her foot! We were SO creeped out, but we laughed all the way home about how he thought she was my daughter! Later tonight she called me and when I answered the phone she said, "Hey, Mom, wanna go work out?"



I am calling for a hair dye appointment again.