Freshen Up...Your Date Nights

It's PODCAST TUESDAY!!! And this week it's all about Ryan, because tomorrow is a big day! The big 4-0! Celebrate him with me, won't you?

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I'm pretty sure most of you know this by now, but Ryan and I are really serious about our date nights. We made a commitment, back when we were actually dating, that we would not fail to be intentional about this. We had seen too many couples date diligently throughout their dating and engagement seasons and then let it all fall by the wayside after they got married. We did not want to let that happen to us. We determined that whether we went out or stayed in, we would commit to having a date every single week. It's important to invest set apart time in our marriage.

By the way, "set apart time" is important even if you don't have kids - or don't have kids living at home. Just because you may not have your attention divided between your spouse and your kids doesn't mean your time isn't divided between your spouse and other things - like work, hobbies, or other commitments. For us, date night says you are important enough to me that I'm not going to answer the phone or texts or be available to others right now. I'm focusing on you, on us, on our dreams, and on our marriage.

We're still finding our groove again in date night creativity. During the months of Ryan's mom's illness, our date nights were pretty much simplified to grocery shopping and a quick meal out. That's all we had time to do, but we determined to make it fun, even though it was predictable and not the most exciting outing. (And we did!)

But today I want to throw out some ideas for how to freshen up your date nights if you've gotten in a rut - or if you've gotten out of the habit of dating altogether.

1. Go on alphabetical dates.

If you've been reading here for a while, you might remember this one! Back in 2017, we dated our way through the alphabet. We did 26 dates in one year, each inspired by a letter of the alphabet. It remains one of my most favorite projects we've ever done. I got the idea from Pinterest, and it was such a winner!! (You can find the list of our date ideas here, along with links to read about each one.) We did some really creative things that year; some were once-in-a-lifetime kinds of things and others were more common, yet really fun. You are welcome to borrow any of our ideas or make up something that suits you a little better! But I think you'd have a lot of fun!

2. Check out the Dating Divas site.

Photo by freestocks.org on Unsplash

I learned about the Dating Divas back when I worked at WBCL. The creators have a passion to get couples in the habit of dating, so they concoct all sorts of themed date ideas. I've used some of their ideas before, and they are fun! Many of their posts include printables to incorporate into your dates. Some are free and some have to be purchased, but I've used both kinds and can assure you the purchased parts are worth the money. They have all kinds of ideas on their site, and not all of them will zing you. But I am positive you can find something fun on there!

3. Go on a scavenger hunt.

Back when we lived in Marion, I found a scavenger hunt list (for a park setting) on Pinterest, so I printed it out. On a really nice spring evening, we stopped by the root beer stand, got dinner to go, and headed to the park. We set up our picnic in a gazebo and enjoyed our dinner while we watched dads and daughters heading to a dance in one of the buildings nearby. Then we went all over the park, conquering our photo scavenger hunt. It was so much fun! (And other than dinner, it was also free!) You can do all kinds of hunts, and I think they all make for a fun date!

4. Have a totally free date.

Photo by Bonnie Kittle on Unsplash

I think there are too many people who feel like a date has to cost a decent amount of money to be fun. Not true! In fact - what if you challenge yourself to a no-spend date? Figure out a whole evening (or day) in which you don't spend a single cent, but you do something purposeful and fun. (Aka you can't just stay home and watch TV.) I will tell you that you can find some ideas on Pinterest, but see if you can't come up with something on your own first! (You might surprise yourself with your own creativity if you really put your mind to it.)

5. Draw from the jar.

Photo by AbsolutVision on Unsplash

As creative as I like to be with planning dates (and I feel like I do pretty well with it most of the time), sometimes I absolutely draw a blank. Sometimes I want to plan something fun, but I just can't think of anything new or different. This is when a date idea jar would come in so handy. Keep a jar in a central location, scrap paper handy beside it, and when either of you thinks of a fun date idea, scribble it down and drop it in the jar. Then when you need a date idea, you can find something your other half really wants to do! This also helps prevent the old, "You know...I had this idea, but now I can't remember it!"


Happy dating! Hope you found an idea that works for you!

Freshen Up...Your Personal Learning

College wore me out. It absolutely did. Even though I was a good student in high school and took college prep classes, I was not prepared for college, and there were MANY moments when I feared I might not pass and/or survive it. But I did both.

When I walked across the stage for my diploma, I was d.o.n.e. Many of my friends went on to pursue higher degrees, and I was proud of them for it. But I wasn't the least bit interested in doing it myself. I loved the freedom of the post-school life. I loved having my evenings to myself to do whatever I wanted. I loved not feeling stressed every minute of every day. I loved not taking tests.

I decided to take as much time as I needed to recover from undergrad before moving on to any graduate work.

I'm still recovering. :)

But my thirst for learning has returned. I don't need a degree, but I do love to learn. And that is an improvement, because right after college, I went a number of years with no desire to even learn. It had all come right out of my soul when I got that diploma.

I still congratulate those who want to pursue degrees, but I think the process of learning means more than the pursuing of a degree. (Personal opinion - you aren't required to agree.)

With a new season arriving, this is a great time to think about learning something new! Not just happening upon some information on the internet, but really learning something that you can use in your everyday life or teach someone else as you go forward. I really have come to believe that as long as we're alive, we can still learn new things. And I think we should learn new things. I also think we're more inclined to stick with it if we're interested in it. So! Here are some ways I've been freshening up my personal learning, and a couple ways I'd love to continue learning.

1. Take online courses...some might even be free!

Photo by Sergey Zolkin on Unsplash

Last year I learned about the BBN Bible Institute. (BBN stands for Bible Broadcasting Network.) I'm not even sure how I stumbled across it, but it absolutely intrigued me, I signed up, and have taken a few of the classes. I still have many to take. It's an online Bible teaching course intended to allow anyone with internet access to learn about the Bible, free of charge. There are many classes, and there are tests/quizzes to take at the end of each session and overall course. At the end of the entire thing, you can get a diploma, although it's not an accredited school - just FYI. I have learned a lot from the classes I have taken so far. I fell behind in it when Ryan's mom got sick, but I plan to get back into it this year.

Earlier this year I attended a Christian writing conference - also entirely online, at my own pace, and completely free. It was through Flourish Writers, and I took pages and pages of notes. Learned a ton!

A few weeks ago I signed up for a yearlong photography course, which was free as long as I was content to receive one lesson a week over the course of the year. Fine with me!

My point is, if you're willing to hunt around, you can learn about all kinds of things for little to no cost, and often you can work at your own pace.

2. Watch YouTube!

Photo by Christian Wiediger on Unsplash

After all, this is where Ryan learned to do gallbladder surgery. I'm kidding. But he did watch a lot of surgeries while he was recovering from his own gallbladder eviction.

YouTube, for me, is one of those places I always forget to look. If you need a full education, it's really probably not the place. But it is a great resource for learning skills. Surgeries aside, Ryan often watches it to learn how to hook up some electronic device or appliance, and he's used it to research products before purchasing them. I've used it for tutorials on everything from hair and makeup to exercise to cooking.

And if you do want an actual class, you can find a lot of those on there too. I know a lot of home educators use YouTube as a resource with their kids.

3. Become an apprentice.

Photo by Imani on Unsplash

Maybe we don't really use that term any more, but the principle applies. Is there something you want to learn how to do, and someone in your life actually knows how to do it? Ask for lessons/tutoring sessions/whatever you want to call it. It could be cooking, hand-lettering, learning to run power tools, car repair skills, art skills, or just about anything. Sometimes you learn best from people who know you and understand how you tick. You might feel more confident in front of them, and it might be easier to actually get in and learn. (Bonus! Friend time on the side!)

Perhaps, depending on the person you're asking and the skill you're learning, you need to pay for the lessons and not take advantage of their generosity. But even if you pay, you're getting a great one-on-one education that surpasses what you could learn in a big class.

4. Don't underestimate what you can learn from similar-but-not-matching settings.

Photo by Kirsten Drew on Unsplash

What does that even mean? Let me explain.

Months ago, through Pinterest, I think, I stumbled upon a website of a young lady in Australia who runs a home baking business. She doesn't have a storefront bakery. She bakes cakes out of her home and sells them. I love looking at all her pretty food pictures, but I also found her business advice intriguing.

Obviously I don't sell baked goods, but I have other things in common with her business style, so I learn some interesting ideas from her posts. Don't think that just because your area of interest doesn't exactly line up with someone else's that you can't learn something worthwhile from them!

5. It's never too late for some good, old-fashioned learning.

Photo by Debby Hudson on Unsplash

You know what they say! Teachers learn more than their students. It's always true for me when I study for speaking. Of course I always hope that those sitting in my audience will take home a handful (or six) of knowledge, but whether or not they do, I learn a bunch as I prepare to teach them.

I have some friends who are homeschooling moms, and they've told me they have learned (and retained) more as they taught their kids than they did when they were in school. Maybe part of that is because they care more now. Maybe part of it is because they can learn in a style that suits them.

But even if we don't need a great test score or entrance into college, it's not a bad thing to go back and learn the things you missed earlier. Do you know all the US presidents? States and their capitals? Parts of speech? Anything about math? (Can you tell that one is a no for me?)

Even if you aren't teaching kids (your own or any others), you can access a surprising amount of that information online and teach yourself. Might be fun to know!


Happy learning, my friends!

The Shafferland Shuffle

Good morning and happy Easter to all of you! In my slow crawl-through-the-gospels-in-2019, it "just so happened" that I read through The Last Supper, Jesus' prayer in the Garden of Gethsemane, His arrest and His trial this week. I told Ryan I've never quite seen Holy Week the way I'm seeing through this slow reading journey. My heart is freshly grateful today and I hope yours is as well!

Until we get to tell you all about our Easter, we'll tell you all about our week!

* After we had a beautiful Saturday (a week ago) we woke up to a freezing, rainy Sunday morning. It was nasty outside, but we enjoyed our church service and got to help serve communion, too! (Hopefully you heard that podcast story!) We were having leftover soup for lunch, and Ryan decided he wanted bread to go with it. We never have bread in the house, so we stopped and bought a fancy looking loaf! I spent part of the afternoon editing the senior pictures I'd taken the day before. Thought they turned out pretty snazzy, considering the poor guy wanted nothing to do with any photos.

* I spent some extra time in Bible study Monday morning. Just needed it for my heart. And as I just said above, this week's readings have been extra meaningful. One of Ryan's co-workers surprised us with cake slices from our favorite cake place. His was lemon blueberry, and he said it was amazing. I had a meeting at church that night, so Ryan went to work at his dad's on his own. He sent me a painting picture. Taking over my job when I'm not there! (I'm not mad.)

* Tuesday was another springy day here...so much so that we decided to pull out that porch furniture at long last. Amazing how different the patio looks when it's full of furniture. We were so happy! :) I also gave myself a spring-induced manicure. Pink and sparkly...that should convince it to come to stay, right? We hosted our final small group of the "season" Tuesday night, too. Man, we have the best group of folks. I learn so much from them every single time. I will miss them this summer!

* Ryan was actually off work starting on Wednesday - the beginning of a few well-deserved days off. We got up early enough to see a pretty sunrise and then went out for a breakfast date! I love breakfast dates with him! (Yeah, we went back to the little café where we forgot to use the gift card that one time. Still cracks us up!) Another monumental piece of Wednesday? First mowing of the season. Our grass sure greened up in a hurry - and most of our neighbors had already mowed, so we were behind! He did such a nice job with it; looks so pretty!

* Thursday was every bit as rainy and dreary as Wednesday had been beautiful! But when your husband starts your day with a homemade latte, it's so hard to care! We had a pretty leisurely day, which I think was just what the doctor ordered for our still-figuring-out-life hearts. We did go out for dinner together - and yes, we did share this! That may be the biggest restaurant serving of broccoli I've ever seen in my life!

* Friday was another fun day for us - one I will have to tell you more about later, so I don't fail to give you the stories! We enjoyed some delicious food, saw some beautiful flowers, and took a bus trip! (Things that are always new and different in Shafferland, right? Never a dull moment, let me tell you.)

* I'm having picture issues for Saturday's collage, so I'll have to come back and clean that up later. Anyway! Yesterday was a day of much rest for us. So many naps. (Like really an embarrassing number of them.) And we had some fun, too - when we were awake. Any Saturday when Ryan and I get to hang out together is a great Saturday, in my opinion. Even if we do sleep for half of it! (Side note: we're learning that we're still in rest-deprivation mode from the caretaking months. It seems like anytime we have the chance to sit down for half a second, we are OUT like a light!

(Imagine pictures here. I'll make it up to you when I get it figured out!)

The Saturday Six

One.

Easter is TOMORROW!!! If you need a last minute contribution to a family dinner (without giving the appearance that you had no idea what to do until today) how about this adorable fruit pizza? You just shape the dough like an egg and arrange the fruit like a decorated egg! I love fruit pizza. Best of all the worlds.

Two.

I stumbled upon this post on Pinterest a few days ago, and it took me back to my own sixth grade days. We made flowers like this in our class and used them to decorate the classroom for spring. These are so easy to make, budget friendly (hello, tissue paper!), and would make a great quick craft project for your kids or an easy way to decorate for a party or shower you're having this spring. You can make them all different sizes and colors to fit whatever you need!

Three.

Garage sale season is nearly upon us (or maybe it has already started where you live) so here's an idea for old shutters and cabinet doors you may find for next to nothing. Produce basket hangers for the win! (We're out of wall space or I might do this one myself!)

Four.

I happened upon this list recently and wanted to share it. Disclaimer: I have not looked at every single suggestion, nor can I vouch for the theology of all the writers. But I do think it's a great resource if you're looking for a Bible study to do this summer, whether alone or with friends. I know cost can sometimes be a an issue when choosing a Bible study, so maybe some free options will help!

Five.

Plants and lanterns hanging from a pergola! This has me all ready to work on our back patio space this summer. It's the one area we've never tackled since moving in.

Six.

Several months ago, I told you about my friend, Sarah Forgrave, and her book Prayers for Hope and Healing. You can read my review of it here. I loved it when I read it and gave it as a gift to people who were struggling with health issues. When Mom had her double knee replacement, Ryan took my copy to the rehab hospital with him every day and read to her in the mornings. (Sometimes I think she had him read the same prayers over and over because they meant so much to her.) When Ryan's mom lived with us following her brain surgery, he read pieces of it to her too, and she loved the book so much, she ended up sneaking my copy back home with her. (Took us a while to find it after she passed away, but it is safely back on my shelf now!)

And now Sarah has a second book out - a companion book of sorts: Prayers of Hope for Caregivers. Oh, how I wish I would have had this book during those four months of caring for Nita, because these are the prayers I needed. And I'm not so far removed from that season that I've forgotten what it felt like to experience all the feelings she wrote about in the pages of this book.

The format of the two books is identical: the chapters are topical, and each contains a short devotional thought followed by a prayer. You can read through them quickly, which is perfect if you're a caregiver, because sometimes the only alone time you get is while you're in the bathroom!

I loved two things in particular as I read the book. First, I identified with so much of what she wrote, so it helped me understand I hadn't been crazy in my thoughts and feelings, nor was I alone in having them. Even on the flip side of the journey, that affirmation is extremely helpful. Secondly, Sarah has this encouraging way of taking the hard struggles and showing you how to lean into the Lord in those moments. I didn't always do that well in my caregiving days. That's the part that made me wish I would have had the book then; perhaps I could have more carefully directed my thoughts to Jesus.

There are 46 chapters in the book, and each one is about 3-4 pages. (The book is a gift size book, so the pages are smaller.)

Here are some of the chapter titles/topics covered that really stuck out to me:

When You Feel Caught in an Endless Cycle
When You Feel Inadequate
When Your Care Recipient Doesn't Act Like HImself
When You're Tired of Keeping it All Together
When You've lost Your Idenity
When You've Reached the End of Your Caregiving

Each chapter begins with a short Scripture passage, then flows into the devotional and then the prayer. I remember when Ryan read the first book to Nita, she told me over and over that she loved Sarah's words, because they said what she felt but couldn't find words to say. I offer the same affirmation over the caregiver book. I underlined and starred my way through it, nodding with fresh understanding at the truth of these words.

It doesn't matter if your caregiving journey is long-term or short term. It could be a child recovering from surgery or a parent facing years ahead in a nursing home. These words transcend the details of the situation and just offer hope to the emotions and obstacles that face all caregivers.

If you are a caregiver, I highly recommend this book. If you aren't, but you know someone who is, this makes a perfect and practical gift. It's a pretty little book in presentation (hardcover, ribbon, and everything!) but the words inside are gold for someone in that position. And if you're a member of the clergy or work in healthcare (or any other similar organization that reaches out to caregivers) I highly recommend sharing it with those in your path.

Great job, Sarah! This book was a balm for my post-caregiving soul!

* Harvest House sent me a copy of the book at no charge; all opinions are my own. *

Freshen Up...Your Journaling

WAIT!

Don't go yet.

I know...not everyone adores journaling. And that's okay! I'm not (necessarily) trying to convince you to become a hard-core journaler today. But if you've always thought maybe it would be a good idea to start, or you're bored with your current way of doing it, I have a few ideas that might help you.

Before I tell you the ideas though, let me remind you why I think it is so important to journal in some fashion. For one thing, it's just a beautiful preservation of your personal history. Whether you end up like Allie in The Notebook and need to be reminded of your own life after your mind won't remember it anymore, or you want the generations that come behind you to know what life was like in your day, journaling is the way to do that.

It's also a great way to process your thoughts, and that's one of the main ways I use it. When Ryan's mom was so sick, and his step-dad didn't really want things put online about her illness, I increased my journaling. Those thoughts and stories and memories had to come out of me before they made me explode. And now I'm able to go back and remember timelines of when things happened in that journey.

And as I always tell people...you think you'll remember stuff, but you really won't. I can't tell you how many times I've read old old journals and thought to myself, "I have no recollection of this ever happening, but man it is FUNNY!" Back when I wrote it, I'm sure I thought it was so amazing, I'd never forget it. But I have. And it's not just about the funny stuff. I've told people over and over that I'm so glad I wrote about my little nephew's life and death for a class assignment as an eighth grader, because now that we're 30 years removed from that day, there's so much I don't remember about it. Most of what I remember comes from that essay I wrote for school. (That was before I started journaling.)

But if it seems daunting you, try some of these ideas!

1. Turn your journals into letters.

Photo by Aaron Burden on Unsplash

It's true. In high school I did the whole Dear Diary thing. Eventually I decided I was "way too cool" for that (which isn't really true) and stopped. But sometimes it's hard to know what to just write in a journal. (That's true even for me, and I've been doing this way over half my life.) Sometimes it is easier to think of it as a letter with a recipient. And if writing to Dear Diary doesn't zing you, write to a person. You probably won't ever give it TO the person, but writing as though he or she were actually going to read it could make a big difference in the way you write.

You might find that you include more detail or more of your personality if you assign a recipient. Maybe you want to write to your spouse or kids or a friend. Maybe you want to make up a character you don't actually know so you don't censor the things you're writing. Invent the perfect, non-judgmental, totally supportive person who can handle whatever you have to say.

2. Give bullet journaling a try.

Photo by Estée Janssens on Unsplash

I am far too wordy for such things, but I know a lot of people really love this method. If you've never heard of it, look it up on Pinterest and you'll get a million ideas. It's exactly what it says: it's journaling more through bullet points and lists and short phrases, rather than sentences, paragraphs, and stories.

Artsy people seem to particularly love bullet journaling, because it relies heavily on creativity, pretty lettering, colors, and doodles. I think for some, this form of journaling is a great stress reliever, because it still accomplishes getting your thoughts out, but it also lets you be creative and thoughtful about presentation in the process.

I've noticed (Pinterest again) that there seem to be a lot of themes to bullet journaling, too. You can journal about habits you're working to grow or dreams for the future, along with processing your thoughts.

3. Switch the method.

Photo by Plush Design Studio on Unsplash

I do almost all my writing on the computer, but I still journal in a book, by hand. I love having that tangible preservation, but in truth, sometimes I think I should switch to a typed version, because I can type my thoughts so much faster than I can write them out longhand. Sometimes I cut stories short in my journals, because I'm tired of writing. That's why (for me) blogging and book-writing help me capture some things much more completely.

In fact, when Nita was sick, even though I journaled some of the stories, the best versions were ones I typed out in long, long emails to my mom and sisters. I don't know whether or not they sat and read through all those emails I sent, but I told them once that it was okay if they didn't; I just needed to process out loud, and they were my safe space to do that. I still have all those emails with those complete versions of the stories, so I'm glad about that!

Another way to switch it up is to switch up the writing utensil. Colored pencils, a different kind of pen...you pick your favorite. (I have learned I write better with some types of pens over others.)

4. Add pictures!

Photo by Dariusz Sankowski on Unsplash

For me, scrapbooking has been another form of journaling. Especially once I started doing digital scrapbooking (again with the typing...), I write out such complete versions of some of the memories I scrapbook about. My albums are another version of journals, in my opinion. They tell our life story, and they have the beauty of pictures as part of it! I love the combination, because pictures are worth a thousand words, right? My books have both. A thousand actual words and then pictures worth the same amount. HA!

5. Go back and forth.

Photo by Aaron Burden on Unsplash

When I was in high school, two of my friends and I passed a notebook back and forth every day, and we would basically live-stream our days to each other. I found them when we moved and OH. MY. WORD. SO embarrassing. SO funny. SUCH a treasure.

In fact, I hung out with one of those friends for the day, not long after I found the notebooks, and I read the entries to her while we drove around town, and we laughed until we cried. (Hard.) Oh the things that matter most to teenagers!

But for as ridiculous as it is, I am so glad we did that and I think it's such a great keepsake for us now.

Ryan and I have a journal that we passed back and forth while we were dating and engaged. (We still occasionally write in it, but not nearly as often.) I love looking back to see our dreams from those days!

I know some moms write back and forth with their daughters, because in some stages of life, it's less embarrassing to admit your feelings to your mom in writing than it is in person. Some teachers journal back and forth with students, I've seen.

So maybe it would be fun to share with someone (obviously someone you trust) and share your days with them through a trade-off journal. You might learn some new things!

Freshen Up...Your Patio

I love sitting on a patio. The more serene, the better. Unfortunately for me, I'm a mosquito buffet, so if it's a buggy year, I'm in big trouble. (Doesn't matter how much I spray or how many citronella candles I light.) Last year was a troublesome year in the bug department, so I didn't get to enjoy porch life nearly as much as I wanted to. But there's always the hope of this year, right?

I feel like Ryan and I used our outdoor spaces more often when we lived in Marion. Our backyard was very private, and we often went outside to eat dinner, drink coffee, or hang out for the evening (weather permitting). Our outdoor spaces here in Kokomo aren't as private, so we tend not to go outside quite as much. But we're slowly doing a better job with making those spaces inviting, so again...there's always the hope of this year, right?

Let me tell you some of the things we have loved (and in some cases, hope to love in the future) about patio life, and maybe it will inspire you to freshen up your outdoor space this year!

1. Make sure your furniture is comfortable.

When I was single, I bought a little standard square patio table. You've seen them: black, iron, add a cushion to the seats? We still have it, and it is no more comfortable now than it was the year I bought it. Sure, it works well for outdoor dining, but that's it. You don't want to just lounge in that seat. But a couple of years ago, we took some of our tax return money and bought comfortable patio furniture. Two swivel chairs, a loveseat, and a coffee table. It was a whole little set we found for a pretty good price at Lowe's.

We. Love. It.

We actually took our furniture out of storage this week, and I'm so excited! The weather has been warm enough (in between snows, you know) to enjoy patio sitting a few different times. The cushions on these chairs are thick and we can hang out on them for quite a while if we want.

Granted, the start of spring and summer doesn't always bring about the best prices for this, so it may not be the cheapest freshening up idea to implement right now, BUT!!!!! Watch for garage sales or Facebook sale pages, because sometimes if people move in the spring, their new home doesn't accommodate their old porch furniture, so they sell it and buy new. That could be a cost-effective way to get some new patio furniture!

(OOH! Or you could make one of those really cool swinging beds.)

2. Make it home.

Photo by Randy Fath on Unsplash

We haven't gone so far as to hang up art or put out lamps, because our patio areas aren't quite protected enough from the elements. But I love the way decorators are showing more and more indoor-home elements...outdoors. Lamps, rugs, art, blankets...these are all the things that draw people to the space, because it feels comfy.

We did buy some pillows for our furniture, both to add color (since the cushions on the chairs are tan) and to give it a living room feel. I also put some potted plants on the coffee table just to give it a decorated look.

When we lived in Marion, our neighbors put up some billowy curtains around the outdated support beams on their porch. They covered the not-so-pretty 60's beams, and they also gave it a very inviting look. (And beachy, since the curtains were turquoise.)

3. Add a fire pit or heater.

Photo by Liz Fitch on Unsplash

These have come a long way in the last few years. Our fire pit is not a patio version. It's a make-a-place-in-the-yard-and-build-a-fire version. But there are some really adorable small table versions of fire pits that could work well on a patio - and even in a small space. And while you may not need it in the middle of summer, I also like the little porch heaters that help in the spring and fall when the night starts to cool off before you're ready to come inside.

I think both of these make the patio look even cozier and are great investments. (And most aren't crazy expensive.)

4. Make it private.

As I mentioned, the main reason (besides the bug buffet) we don't spend as much time outside anymore is because our patio spaces aren't as private as what we used to have. No one wants to feel like they're on display on their own porch!

Fences are expensive (not that I have researched this option...) but if you merely need a little privacy, not a safety net, there are cheaper ways to close off your space.

When we lived in Marion, we purchased our beloved pergola (which we always called a pierogi, but that's a whole separate story) and it was the best answer to this problem. It had fabric sides that you could pull back for a breeze or close for privacy. It also had both a screen side and a complete fabric side, so you could choose which one you wanted to use. If you just needed bug protection, you could put down the screen, and if you wanted to be completely closed in from people or wind, you could put down the whole thing.

It was the best. If we wanted to take a nap in the hammock and not worry about looky-loos wandering by, we could just put down the sides and sleep! That pergola was money well-spent and we miss it here at our new house! (We have a pergola here but it's not the kind with sides, so it doesn't offer the same privacy.)

5. Add soft light.

Photo by imran khan on Unsplash

It's one of my favorite moments from our marriage.

We had just gotten our pergola/pierogi, and it was a Friday night. I was still working at the station, and I had to work an outdoor concert in Ohio. I didn't get back to the station until midnight, and I still had to drive an hour home. I was certain Ryan would be asleep when I got there, since he's not really a night owl.

But when I arrived at home, he met me at the front door and told me he had a surprise for me. He led me through the house and out into the backyard, where I discovered he had spent the entire evening installing soft lights around our pierogi. At 1:00 in the morning, we stood in the backyard and danced under those lights, and it was (clearly) a memory-etching moment.

Porch lights are typically built more for security purposes, so turning those on while you hang out on your patio may not create the most welcoming ambience. But oh....the soft light! Ryan did icicle lights, but there are also all kinds of strand lights with little globes that make a beautiful addition to patio spaces. It looks great from the road (admit it...you notice those spaces when you drive by them!) and it is comforting when you're enjoying it for yourself!


Annnnnnnnnnnnnd now I'm ready to just move outside to our patio. Once we spruce it up, of course!

Freshen Up...Your View of Your Own City

Unless you live in a great big city or a tourist trap, you've probably said "There's nothing to do here. I live in the most boring place on earth."

With a few legitimate exceptions, that's probably not actually true. (We have learned, in our county-tour-planning that indeed some places are borrrrrrrrrrrrrrrring. We're sorry for those folks. But we've also learned those places are few and far between. Most places have more to do and see than their residents credit them with.)

We've tried to make a habit of finding the fun things to do in our own city so we can see our hometown with fresh eyes. Sure, we love traveling somewhere else for the day as much as the next people, but we also appreciate finding things to do right here in our own backyard! It helps us enjoy date days/date nights if we don't have time or the desire to go out of town.

Maybe you can have a spring/summer staycation if you hunt around for things to enjoy in your very own space!

1. Find the parks and trails.

I'm learning the people to ask about this one are photographers. Our photographer has introduced us to little outdoor gems I didn't even know existed in this county! Trails, nooks, and crannies that are absolutely beautiful!

Anyway. Our city has a couple of parks that are both beautiful in their own way, and we enjoy taking walks through them. (In an odd twist, we actually miss the park in Marion since we've moved. It was one of the best things about that city. It was gorgeous!)

We also have a trail that used to be part of a railroad, and they've been working hard to lengthen the trail and beautify it for walkers, runners, and bikers. That is actually one outdoor space we haven't explored yet, but I think it would be a great thing to visit this summer, don't you?

Look for nature preserves, parks, trails, lakes, ponds, and any other outdoor gem where you can spend some time as the weather warms up! Whether you're going for exercise, hanging out, or even pictures, it's never a bad day to discover a new little spot!

2. Music for the win!

Photo by 42 North on Unsplash

Our park has a summer concert series, and I know that's becoming an increasingly popular thing everywhere. Often those concerts are free, and while every style of music may not zing you, trying them out might introduce you to something new that you might actually like.

Live local bands and open mic nights are another popular thing. There's a coffee shop downtown here that invites local artists to come in on Friday nights and play some acoustic music. We have been there before during their sets and even though we don't usually know the music, we appreciate their talent and enjoy the entertainment.

Look around and see what you can find. If you live in a college town, they sometimes do concerts for low-to-no cost. I used to go to concerts and plays at IWU when I lived in Marion. (Big churches also bring in artists, and while you may have to buy a ticket to go, you aren't fighting arena crowds!)

3. Check out the local attractions.

Is there something in your city that people come from other places to see? Have you ever seen it? (Probably not, right?)

We have a beautiful mansion here in town that has a rich history. I've never been there on a regular day, but Ryan and I love going at Christmas to tour it all decked out for the holidays.

We also have a glass manufacturer that gives tours, and I think it would be so much fun to tour that one day. (They only offer them on weekdays, so we haven't been because Ryan works. We need him to have a weekday off so we can go!) We actually got to see a sneak peek of it on the HGTV show Good Bones, because the designers made a trip up here (from Indianapolis) to get glass for the house they were flipping.

4. Hit the local restaurants!

Skip the chains and visit a place unique to your own city. I've hinted at this on a couple of other posts, but it fits here too. Try the hole-in-the-wall breakfast diner all the regulars visit every day. Try a locally-owned coffee or ice cream shop.

Ask what items on the menu are their "famous" dishes and order that. Then if people come to town, you can recommend not only a place to go, but a menu item to order!

This is another area where we need to step up our game. Like I said in the dining out post, we tend to go to the same restaurants all the time. We need to go back to Louie's (coney dogs), Cook McDoogal's (Irish food), and Artie's (tenderloins). And of course - Dan's Donuts!

5. Check out the festivals, races, and First Friday events.

The first summer we lived here, we went to Ribfest, which featured all kinds of BBQ - and live music! We try to make sure we get to the Strawberry Festival every summer too, so we can get one of the delicious shortcakes! Though we normally have alternate plans, I know Kokomo has its own ball drop on the square on New Year's Eve, and they have a couple of festivals each year that also include parades.

Though we haven't run any of them here, there are some 5K races that take place throughout the year - each for a good cause.

And we've been to First Friday a few times. We've learned a lot about our downtown business district by going to First Friday!

Sure, it's not a massive city, but Kokomo has a lot to offer, and my guess is your city has more to offer than you've tried, even if it still can't be accused of having a lot to offer. Check out some of the places you've never been!

Freshen Up...Your Coffee-Drinking Life

It's podcast Tuesday! We were on a story-telling roll this week, and we hope you can hang out with us for a half hour or so, just to laugh and hear about my fringe-filled Goodwill finds. (And lots of other fun stuff too.)

 Listen here!

So even if you've only been reading this blog for a few days, you probably know that Ryan and I are fairly serious about our coffee. We started drinking coffee together when we began dating, and it quickly became "our thing." Now we drink it every day - morning, noon, and night.

We love it (obviously), but like any good thing, we get to the point where we don't like to mess with a good thing, you know? We know exactly how we like it, and we don't want to waste time or money experimenting with things that could turn out to be a real flop.

I remember one time at Starbucks, I'd carefully saved up all my stars for a free reward, and I let the barista talk me into branching out and trying one of their seasonal features.

HATED IT.

It had chili in it and I learned I don't like spicy hot coffee. Only temperature hot. And then I was sad that I had wasted all those beloved stars on coffee I hated. (If we had stayed to drink it that day, I probably would have asked for a do-over, but we were already on the road to our next adventure, so I was stuck with double-hot coffee. Oh well. Cleaned out my sinuses!)

So even though I'm a creature of habit, I do try to push myself to try new things now and then! Here are the ways I try to freshen up my coffee-drinking life. (And if you're not a coffee-drinker, you can apply this whatever you prefer to drink!)

1. Tour the menu.

Oh, Bekah. Take your own advice and finish your tour! When we moved to Kokomo, we found a little local shop called Big Ben and decided it would be "our" coffee shop. (Yes, we still go to Starbucks, but we felt compelled to adopt at least one local shop as our own.) Their menu is not massive. Don't misunderstand: they have a good variety of choices, but the list is manageable. When we went in the first time, I made the choice to start at the top of the menu and work my way down until I'd tried all the flavors.

The first menu item was Cabin Fever. I loved it and have gotten that almost every visit since then. #facepalm. I really need to finish the menu so I can learn what else I like there.

2. Find the secret menu.

If you look on Pinterest, you'll find posts about Starbucks' "secret" menu. It's full of combos that don't make it onto the posted menu, but you can still order them. I believe it was through a secret menu board that I learned about the white chocolate raspberry latte, and for a long time, that was one of our favorite things to order at Starbucks.

Sometimes smaller shops have a similar menu - drinks dreamed up by baristas or regular customers. I think a great life goal is to one day have a coffee drink named after me. (There is a drink at the IWU coffee shop named after a girl I went to school with. I don't know if she worked there and created the drink or if they just named it after her, but it's still on the menu every fall!)

3. Try something you have never tried.

You know. Like the chili coffee thing. Ha!! In all reality, this might be a complete flop, but it might also be the ticket to your greatest coffee discovery! Try iced coffee or a frappuccino or an extra shot of espresso or a new flavor.

If you're really nervous about this, and you are a regular at some shop, see if you can get a sample from someone else's leftovers. On one of our county tours, the barista kept bringing us tiny sample cups of coffee flavors other people ordered while we were in there. Sometimes he made more than would fit in their cup, so he'd pour the extra in a sample cup and bring it to us. We found some tasty options and if we lived closer, we'd probably be having them regularly!

4. Roast your own beans!

Last year I bought Ryan his own coffee roaster. It's little - about the size of a blender, actually, and simple to use. We bought green beans (coffee beans, not vegetable beans) and learned how to roast them ourselves. You can research how to accomplish different flavors, depending on where the beans come from or how long you roast them. You can even concoct your own personal blend!

Warning: it does create QUITE an aroma. If you live in an apartment or small space, you may want to find an alternative location for this activity. If you have more space, the garage or a shed would be a great location. Your house may end up smelling like burned popcorn if you do it in there!

5. Do it yourself.

Ryan and I are lifelong coffee shop lovers, and we won't ever give that up. But we also love having our own fancy pants espresso machine/latte maker now. We've started looking up recipes to make some of our favorite drinks on our own. The best part about this is that we can adjust flavors to suit our tastes. Remember the raspberry white chocolate latte I talked about earlier? Ryan stopped getting it at the coffee shop because it was too sweet. But he loves making it at home because he can adjust the syrups to be exactly what he wants. He's finally found his perfect coffee/flavor ratio.

Even though you have to buy all the syrups and such, it still ends up saving money in the long run, and the best part is that you can have a drink even if all the coffee shops around you are closed for the day. (Common problem for us.)


Hope you can try something new this spring...and happy new discoveries!