The Shafferland Shuffle

First of all, a happy 63rd wedding anniversary to my parents! I posted this picture to Facebook earlier this week: both our weddings, 58 years and 1200(ish) miles apart!

It has been an eventful week here in Shafferland! Ready to peek inside?

* Last Sunday, Ryan and I got up and scurried around for church...got ALL ready, and realized we were a half hour early. Good grief. A half hour of potential sleep: GONE! It was a really pretty morning, so we just poured some coffee and went for a walk around the neighborhood! Sunday was sign-up day for small groups at our church, so we helped work the table to get people registered. And then of course that afternoon, the return of Ryan's favorite season! FOOTBALL!! Okay, so it's pre-season, but it still counts!

* Monday, I went to see Ryan at work during lunch, and while we worked on a selfie, we got photo-bombed by his co-worker. Hee hee hee. He had a long day and was exhausted when he got home. Nap time! (Which also means I can't resist a photo!) We had quesadillas for dinner with homemade guacamole. Yum!

* Tuesday began our big adventure for the next little bit. Phoebe is boarding with us for a while! I tried to explain to Braeya, when the crate moved in, that her dearly beloved sister would be staying here for a bit. I don't think she fully comprehended that. (She does now.) We had a fun start to Pheebs's stay, though. Long walks and curling up to watch AGT!

* I had Wednesday "off work" from carpooling duty, so I got to spend the whole day working from home, with  my temporary #1 assistant, Phoebe. She's the cutest! We even went through the Wendy's drive-thru that night and she got her very own dog biscuit. (She was VERY excited.)

* Thursday was filled with more Phoebe adventures, INCLUDING brushing her for the first time. She has curly hair and does NOT like to be brushed. It so reminded me of my childhood when my mom would sit with me and douse me in No More Tangles before combing out my tangles. Phoebe got a cookie at the end of her brushing. How come that never happened to me? LOL!!

* Friday, Phoebes (human) brothers came to get her for the weekend, because Ryan and I had big plans! It was the kickoff of his 20 year class reunion. One of his best friends from high school (and his wife) flew in from Texas and the four of us went out to dinner and then met up with some other classmates at the high school football game. Would you believe this was my first high school football game AT our high school? It was fun!

* Yesterday was a FULL day! Ryan worked in the morning, and then we scurried out for an alphabetical date that was SO MUCH FUN! We got home jut in time to get ready and go to night #2 of Ryan's class reunion! So many stories to come...

The Saturday Six

One.

This was a fun article I stumbled across this week. If you like to thrift and need a side job...seems like this lady has quite a nice little hustle going on!

Two.

There's a huge house a few miles from where I grew up, but it wasn't the big old house that fascinated me. It was the little old cabin in the yard beside it. I always thought it would make a fascinating writing studio. This isn't an exact match, but it's similar, and even though the designer uses it for her primary residence, I'd still turn it into the coziest library/studio ever! 

Three.

If you're an Indiana person looking for some new local places to try (specifically if you enjoy good root beer), here's a list! I've been to one of the eight. LOL. Guess I have some catching up to do!

Four.

I read on Facebook this week that it's been ten years since friends of mine from college began to walk an excruciating road. Their almost-five year old son lost part of his leg in a lawnmower accident. Ten years. I remember reading the news and praying with them for his physical and emotional healing. This week, they shared again the link to the blog they wrote back then. Quite an amazing journey. It's been a joy to see Bryson grow and thrive in this last decade!

Five.

When Ryan and I were on our "P" date over in Marion last week, we ran into a couple in the park who told us about some upcoming events that are free and open to the public. I wanted to share this one in case you're in the general vicinity and want to check it out! On Saturday, September 9, from 1-5 p.m. there's a Monarch Festival at Matter Park in Marion. They have some programs and demonstrations scheduled, monarch tagging (I didn't even know that was a thing, but it is! They tag monarchs and release them and then track their migratory route to see how many make it to Mexico!) and even an ice cream social. So if you're looking for some fun for your kids or yourself, there you go!


Six.

Source

I really branched out with my book reading this week! John A. Beck has just released a book called The Holy Land for Christian Travelers. Even though I am not personally planning a trip to Israel, I though this book looked intriguing, because I wanted to see what I could learn about the geography and customs of that area!

First, I thought the book was very easy to understand, and I appreciated that. It wasn't so academic that it ran over my head. Anytime he did explain something complex, he did so quite thoroughly. There are full-color photos throughout the book, and there are also many maps that help you get a better sense of distance and location.

John said something in the introduction to the book that really set the tone, I thought: "As you explore this land, you will quickly see that the Bible is at home here. And you will become more at home in your Bible as you travel the promised land." (p. 13). Even though I may never get to see this land in person, it does help me have a better sense of the area as I read and study Scripture on my own!

At the beginning of the book, the author explains that if you are traveling to Israel, the number of places you will get to see are (obviously) subject to the length of time you plan to stay. He offers three potential itineraries: three, five, and twelve days in length, to help you space out what you should see in the amount of time you have.

He provides addresses, hints on whether or not a particular site has fees associated with it, and a warning about dress code if you need to be careful what you wear to make sure you are respectful to the reverence of a particular area. Also, for travelers, he varies the amount of information he shares about each site depending on whether or not it's a "must-see" location or not, and how much on-site information is shared for visitors to read while there.

He then divides the book geographically, offering a section to Jerusalem itself, Jerusalem and beyond, the coastal plain, and the central mountains (divided by south, central, and north). This division choice helps you quickly find a location if you're there and needing to see more about your surroundings.

But even if you aren't there, this book is very helpful in tying in events from the Bible (he gives Scripture references to back everything) to modern day locations. He explains which locations are likely the actual place something happened in Bible times and which ones are just traditional celebrations of a Bible event, even if we don't know where it actually happened. While much of the writing is factual and explanatory, he does tie in some teaching, by urging you to reflect on certain portions of Scripture and what each place means to it.

I learned about locations that I hadn't even realized were significant, and I learned more about locations that I knew about, but maybe didn't fully know about.

I'm keeping this book on my shelf for study reference, and if I ever happen to make it to Israel, it would definitely be a guide to take with me!

** Baker books provided a copy of this book to me at no charge. All opinions are my own. **

How I Made My Prayer Binder

I have mentioned a couple of times on here that I recently made a binder to help me better organize my prayer life. I've had a few questions about how it works, so I thought I would do a little explanation post for you today!

I began by finding my inspiration where I find almost all my creative inspiration: Pinterest! :) I found this post at the Stone Soup for Five blog and used that as my main inspiration for creating my binder. (I made a few modifications to fit my own needs, since I don't have the same life circumstances as that blogger.)

I had a plain old regular binder hanging out on the bookshelf, so I used that, but if you need one, RUN TO THE STORE NOW to get one! Three words: school supply sale. I made a cover sheet using the lovely printables from the Daily Dwelling blog.

For my tabbed dividers, I repurposed the color coded tabs I got for the conference I attended this summer. I had deconstructed that binder after the conference ended, so they were ready to be reused! You could, of course, use any old dividers, but I like these, from Avery, that are thick and have a slot in each one to hold papers as needed. (That way if I'm at church and get a prayer list at some kind, for example, I can slide it down in that divider/folder until I get home.

For my paper, I used regular old loose leaf notebook paper.

* I printed blank monthly calendar pages (my personal favorites are these from Scattered Squirrel) for the rest of the year. (Scattered Squirrel also has 2018 calendar pages available on her site.) I hole punched the calendar pages and put them in the front of the binder. If someone has a prayer request for a specific day (doctor's appointment, etc.) I can write it on that calendar square. Every day, I look at the calendar to see if there are any specific things that need my prayer attention that day.

Then I have my individual tabbed sections. These might need to look different for you, depending on what happens in your everyday life. But here are mine:

* Praise and Adoration. This is where I write down words of praise, song lyrics, or anything else that offers praise to God. I've been trying to get in the habit of listening to praise songs on YouTube while I get ready in the mornings. If a song stands out to me, I try to write it (and the date) in this section.

* Confession. This is where I write down ares of my life that aren't pleasing to the Lord or attitudes I need to confess and conquer. I haven't always been good at examining my heart regularly to look for things that aren't what they should be, so this is a great form of accountability for me to do so more regularly.

* Waiting. Sometimes I pray about things that I'm not sure when (or if) God will bring to pass in my life. I wanted to have a way to document the trail of prayers that accompany them so I can better see how God works in my heart as I pray along.

* Scripture and Quotes. Occasionally (and often through social media) I stumble upon verses or quotes that stand out to me as meaningful for my current season. I've been keeping them in my journal, but I decided to try to record them here instead so I can find them faster!

* Ryan. I wanted a section where I can write specific requests and prayers over Ryan. (If you don't have a husband, but that's a longing of your heart, you could always make a section for your someday husband!)

* Bekah. Yes, I have a section for myself. I think it's important to pray for yourself, for the roles you fill, and for the needs you have. I wanted a place to record those that are mine specifically.

(NOTE! If you have children, you could add tabs for them. Since, we don't have kids, I just made tabs for the two of us.)

* Our Ministry. I am careful to pray over the writing and speaking ministries God has given me, and I am also eager to pray over the new ministries God has brought and is bringing to us as a couple. I wanted a section just for those prayers.

* Listening. Ahhhhh, the part where you stop talking and start listening! Always hard to do, isn't it? But I wanted a place to write things I sensed the Lord pressing on my heart, so I made a specific section for it.

(NOTE! The above sections are ones I visit regularly but perhaps not daily. In other words, I don't sit down every single morning and make my way through eight sections. Some days I do, but some days I may focus on one or two and not the rest. But they are all there for me to reference as needed.

The next part of my binder divides the week into days. I have chosen an area to focus on in prayer each day of the week. It's not that I can't or won't pray from another day's section on any given day, but this helps me make sure I give focus to each area in depth at least once a week. This is also the section of the prayer binder that Ryan and I use together in our prayer time each morning. As we see each specific prayer answered, we cross it off and write the date beside it. (We also write the date we begin praying for something specific so we can see the start and end dates.)

Monday: Family. We pray for our families in a broad sense every Monday, but we also lift up specific requests if we know about them.

Tuesday: Friends. We pray for our friends on Tuesday, and we always lift up every specific request we've been given.

Wednesday: Prayer Teams. I have a specific team of people who prays for my writing and speaking ministry, so whenever they have a request, I put it in this section and pray over it on Wednesdays. Likewise, we are prayer partners for other friends in their ministries, so if they have something specific that needs prayer, we also put it in this section.

Thursday: Church and People. It's handy that this binder is also where I take sermon notes, because it means it's always with me when I go to church. Last Sunday, a friend had some needs and I just grabbed the binder and wrote them in there right away. No forgetting or losing the bulletin with the prayer request on it! This is the day we pray over specific ministries within our church home and also the people in it who ask us to pray for something in particular.

Friday: Our Marriage. Yes, I know, we already had our own tabs earlier, but those tabs are more for what's happening in each of our individual lives. On Fridays we pray for our marriage, its protection and its example before others.

Saturday: Our Nation and World. Enough said, right?

Sunday: Reflection and Thanks. Every Sunday, I flip back through the other sections to be reminded of what God has done throughout that week and summarize a prayer of thanks in this section. It's encouraging to see specific answers that have come about since the week beforee!

Teaching Notes. The final section is where I take notes on sermons, Sunday School lessons, and any other teaching I receive in any capacity. That way I can find the information quickly and easily!

So there you go! I'm sure as time goes along, I'll modify and tweak my process, but to begin, this is how it works. I love how it has helped me become more intentional about prayer and has encouraged me in seeing specific results.

Need a Phoebe Fix?

Everyone needs a little Phoebe on a Thursday, right!?!?

We watched Pheebs for a bit on Saturday, and it was a pretty perfect day weather-wise, which meant we could go for walks!

Phoebe rocks at walking. We are always amazed at how well she does when she walks past houses with yippy dogs, and she totally ignores them and goes on her merry way. It really makes walking all kinds of delightful.

Know something else she rocks at? RESTING!

And watching movies!

Sweet girl. :)

She's back for a few days, and we're having fun with her! I have a few more pictures for you!

Lunchtime!

Eating is actually our biggest struggle with her. This is a struggle I don't understand. I mean, it's food. EAT IT!!! LOL. She actually does pretty well. Just takes her a little minute to get her new eating groove. (Doesn't that happen to all of us when we're out of our routine?)

Naptime!!! Well. For some of us. Basically everyone sleeps except Bekah.

Visiting Ryan at work on a hot day means cashing in on cool floors.

So that's a peek into our fun the last couple of days. 

Looking forward to more adventures with the Pheebster!

Linking up with Tamar (who has BEAUTIFUL photos of her new digs!)

SOMEONE Has a Class Reunion This Week!

It may be twenty years, it may be forty years...we're not sure.

(If you heard the podcast yesterday, that last part will make sense to you.)

But anyway. If you're not sure who has the reunion, let me give you a hint:

Does he look familiar?

Does he look like someone who might marry this girl in about fifteen years?

In honor of the forthcoming reunion, his classmates have been posting some throwback pictures, and I thought it only fair to let you see them, too!

Show choir for the win! He can still fit in that outfit, you know.

Anyway. Back to twenty/forty years ago:

I think there need to be a few recreated photos, don't you? OOOOH! Or he should wear the letter jacket!

Happy reunion week, husband of mine! :)

Remember the Internet?

I had a freak-out moment this week. Like bring-me-a-brown-paper-bag kind of freaking out. That and other stories are all yours on this week's Spill the Beans!

 Listen here.

As you might imagine, Ryan and I don't spend a lot of time watching CNN, but we did get sucked into their documentary series on the 90's. I guess this really does officially make us old people: we are watching the throwback to our teen years remembered as ancient history. ACK!

If you haven't heard of this series, it has several parts that cover different facets of the 90's: TV, terrorism, politics, etc. And the one we watched this past weekend was about the age of technology. We laughed right out loud several times, watching clips of news anchors (with hello, 90's hair) explain these groundbreaking advances that are just flat out archaic now.

Some highlights and memories conjured up included:

* The news anchor who talked about computer guru "Steve Jobes."

* The original Macintosh computers that almost sent the company into oblivion. I told Ryan, while we watched that part, that my first ever computer was a Mac. My parents bought it for me my senior year of high school, so I could stop typing all my papers on the electric typewriter. Back then, the trusty Mac came in about eight boxes: the massive monitor, the huge external hard drive, the printer, the keyboard, the mouse that always fell off the back of my keyboard slide and hung by its cord. I used that computer throughout college and a bit beyond, before I had to get something "more with the times." My how that has changed!! (Although I confess, I've still never gone back to a Mac.)

* The familiar static blare of dial-up internet. That took me back to my first years on the job when I had to dial up every morning to connect to lender sites to get updates on outstanding loans. 8:00, turn on computer. 8:05, ssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssstatic.

* Do you remember your first email address and when you learned how to email for the first time? Boy, I do! I was in college, and my trusty Mac wasn't hooked up to the internet. No, no, no. Unless you were super important, which I most certainly was not, you did not have your own internet connection. You wrote papers on your computer. If you needed email, you went to a computer lab and hoped for an open machine. The school provided all students with an email address and the majority of my messages were exchanged with friends I would see 100 times during the day anyway, and they were always forwards of inspirational stories or jokes.

* I do remember getting my first non-school email account. My boyfriend-at-the-time set it up for me, and I thought I was pretty big time to have a yahoo account, thankyouverymuch. I went to the computer lab much more frequently after that!

* I also remember when I learned to search on the internet for the first time. This fellow (but younger) college student took pity on me and spent an evening in a computer lab teaching me to open new tabs, type in the URL for a site I knew and search for keywords to bring up sites I didn't. I had to learn this for a class I'd signed up for. That lesson overwhelmed me so profoundly that I marched straight to the registrar's office the next day and dropped the class. Search? On the internet? So not for me.

* Ryan said the first time he searched on the internet, he was a senior in high school, using the library computers (What??? He went in the library??? Say it isn't so!) The librarians said he could look up anything he wanted on the internet. He stared at the computer and had no idea what to look up, but he liked watching Seinfeld, so he looked up Jerry Seinfeld. He read a little bit, wasn't impressed, shut off the computer, and left. Probably never went back in the library again. JUST KIDDING, BABY!!!

* I digress. Back to the show. My FAVORITE part of the whole show was the very end, when they showed a clip of Bryant Gumbel, Katie Couric, and some other anchor live on the air, arguing about the meaning of @. Bryant thought it meant at. Katie thought it meant around or about. And neither  they nor the other anchor had any idea what this phrase meant that they had to read from the teleprompter that included the mysterious @. Katie hollered to producers offset, "Can someone explain to us what internet means?"

Best. Line. Ever.

I wonder if Steve Jobes heard that newscast.

In Which We Go Back to School...

...okay, so it wasn't really school, but we learned! Does that count?

We are new at our church, but even so, we've been given the opportunity to lead a small group this fall, and we are excited. We've led together twice before: once at our Marion church and once with Ryan's co-workers. To have this additional chance to not only lead, but to get to know people in our new church home is a thrill!

We were intrigued to learn that this church, even though it's not tiny, hasn't had a specific small group ministry in the past. So we're part of the official launch of a new kind of ministry for them, and that's exciting as well. This past weekend, they put together a really thorough training course for those who will be leading small groups/studies of various kinds throughout the church, and we were able to be part of it!

It kicked off Friday night with dinner, and we learned a fun fact there: we have an actual chef in our church! Like culinary school trained and official! And what a delicious weekend it made. Since I am still new and didn't want to ENTIRELY let the Bekah-razzi fly in front of strangers, I tried to be discreet and didn't take pictures of every single thing as it came my way.

I did, however, capture the salad:

 (And yes, that is my coffee mug next to my water. I brought my own coffee. Couldn't risk spending a whole evening trying to learn if they didn't have any coffee brewed. I know my limitations.)

And check out the dessert. I couldn't finish it. Sadness.

Sorry, Ryan, that you get brownies and frozen yogurt. And no mint leaves.

Friday night's teaching and worship was excellent. I took notes furiously, which I'm sure will shock all of you.

We even got matching t-shirts to wear for sign up Sunday! Tried them on when we got home, and thank goodness they fit! (Whew!)

We went back on Saturday to have a second day of training. I hate to be stuck on the food, but ummmmm homemade scones and iced coffee??? OKAY!!!!

I just realized my scone looks like a fox head. Two eyes and a snout. LOL!!

Anyway. Breakfast was all we needed to make us ready to learn!

I have to brag on the church for a bit, because the guest speakers they brought in to teach us came from another local church. I know that sometimes churches feel like they have to be in competition with one another (not true, but you know it happens!) so to have ours reach out locally and be met with such love was a beautiful thing. I was proud of both churches! Way to lead by example!

We learned so much on Saturday and...ahem...had a great lunch with dessert!

Sugar cookies and cake pops? OKAY!!

A wonderful weekend, and certainly some of the best and most intentional leader training I've ever been through! And a bonus? Met some new friends. A happy weekend, indeed.

(PS. They also gave us coffee mugs, pens, and a binder. All my love languages collided rather loudly. Sigh. Of. Happiness.)

The Shafferland Shuffle

Happy Sunday! Hope you're having a great weekend! :) It's been lovely so far here in Shafferland. Here's a peek at our week!

* Here's a peek at our church service last Sunday. One of the many things I love about this church is the way they gather around each other to pray. This is not an uncommon sight! We had homemade stir fry for lunch, and I'm not gonna lie: it was delicious! Took it easy all day, too. Naps, computer fun, movies...yes!

* Monday morning was our first day to switch to working out on our own again. We did well! I was proud of us. So proud that I dipped into hazelnut flavoring for my coffee to celebrate! Ha! It was a beautiful day Monday, so we had a nice leisurely walk that evening. So lovely.

* Tuesday morning there was this faint fog right above the ground. Pretty to look at! I worked a bit at the school that day; the administrator was gone, so I was sort of on my own to do projects, but I had coffee, snacks, and shelves of children's books from my childhoood to peruse, so I was good! And then I came home and color coded my Bible! Ohhhhhhhh how much I love it!

* Ryan's work had a party on Wednesday for a couple of ladies who are retiring, so he got to enjoy a good carry-in that day! Wednesday night was our date inspired by the letter P: a pizza and polar pop picnic in the park, followed by putt putt!

* Thursday, I had a visit from my friend Jessica, who used to work with me in Financial Aid. She lives out of state now, but every time she comes back for a visit, she stops in to see me (and Braeya) so it was good to see her! I also worked on a newsletter for my school volunteer project...creativity fun! That night was a gorgeous evening. So much sunshine...I couldn't resist catching it on the ferns out front!

* Friday evening, our church had the first part of a small group leader training, and we went! DELICIOUS food, lots of learning and study, and official shirts!. We are like real people! :)

* Training continued most of the day yesterday! They even had homemade iced coffee and scones for breakfast. (Can the cook just move in to our house, please? I'm a good cook, but she is INSANELY amazing.) When training was over, we picked up Pheebs and brought her home for the evening. She was quite cuddly the whole night!

The Saturday Six

One.

Listen here!

This week I had the opportunity to interview Lynette Eason, who writes suspense fiction! I've reviewed three of her books in the last year, all from the Elite Guardians series, and the final book, Chasing Secrets, just released not long ago. Lynette went from the business world to deaf education to writing suspense, so she certainly has many stories to tell! She also explains a bit about the craft of writing suspense and the hardest things about it, from her perspective. It's just about 25 minutes long, so if you have a few minutes, take a listen!

Two.

I love this post partly because the words are so wise and partly because I'm a sucker for baby pictures. I have read Caroline Rothschild's blog for a long time (she's Jennifer Rothschild's daughter-in-law, by the way) and always love her perspective on life. These thoughts following her entry into motherhood are lovely. And the baby is cute, too!

Three.

I. Loved. This. Post. Sarah. Wrote. If you are a mom, which I am not, you can surely identify with her. If you are not a mom, this will give you fresh appreciation for the hard work moms do every single day while clearly being interrupted often. Make sure you read to the end to see her grace-to-self application, lest you think she's complaining. (She's not.) Oh, Sarah. Bless you and your adorable kiddos!!

Four.

This showed up in my Twitter feed this week. You know the eclipse is coming soon, right? Apologia (a Christian-based curriculum program) created a free e-book about the eclipse, and it's not just for kids! I mean, it really is for kids, but there's a lot of interesting information for adults, too. So whether you have kids or you just want to learn in plain English what this whole eclipse thing is all about, you can check it out!

Five.

I love these little paperclip/ribbon bookmarks. Fun, easy, affordable, and in short? I plan to make a bunch.

Six. 

Source

Earlier this year, I read Justice Delayed by Patricia Bradley. It was the first book in the Memphis Cold Case series, and you can read my review of that book here.


The second book in the series, Justice Buried, comes out just under a month, and the characters from the first book are back. Andi, Will, Brad, Treece: they all make appearances in these pages. However! If you haven't read the first book, you won't be lost. The plot of the second book doesn't depend so heavily on the first book that you'll be confused if you haven't read it.

In this book, Kelsey Allen is working hard to get her security consulting business moving. Possessing an unusual blend of grit, physical strength, and mental , Kelsey is skilled in both technology and climbing. The combination makes her a desirable choice for companies looking for support in helping improve their security systems! One night, as Kelsey is on the job, testing security for a company who hired her, she winds up dodging bullets. While trying to figure out who would be shooting at her and why, Kelsey meets Brad Hollister, a homicide detective who is just being transferred to the cold case unit. Kelsey's father has been missing for almost thirty years, and it's one cold case she would love to see warmed up again.

The book is action-packed and the intense blending of current and cold cases is an interesting twist you don't usually find in a cold case story.

Much like the first book in the series, I found myself a bit confused by the sheer volume of characters. It was hard for me to keep everyone straight, especially since sometimes characters went by first names and sometimes by last names. (Such is the world of law enforcement, right?) Even so, the story was intriguing, and as it went along, I was able to find my footing and turn the pages faster.

One thing I will say about the book, more as a matter of disclosure than a matter of opinion, is that Kelsey does visit a hypnotist at one point. I have no real exposure to or experience with the topic of hypnosis, in reality or in books, but I know some believers are skeptical and perhaps even disapproving of using this practice. I thought it was handled well and it was not offensive to me as a reader, but whenever I find something in a book that I think might potentially bother someone, I do my best to offer a heads-up!

One other note: this series is set in Memphis, and the author does a good job of incorporating authentic Memphis attractions. I didn't miss the inclusion of Corky's BBQ (which I've actually had!) and the Pink Palace Museum (one of the settings in the book) is a real place! So you'll learn some good Memphis landmarks as you read.

* Revell provided a complimentary advance copy of the book for me to read. All opinions are my own.*

The Best Marriage Habits We've Formed So Far

This week I read Jessica Chance's post, which included reflections from her and her husband about their three years of marriage. (Happy anniversary, Jessica!)

I loved reading their reflection questions and thinking about how we would answer them, because I'm in full reflection mode (already) leading up to our fifth anniversary. And yes. I know it's not for a while yet. I like to fully prepare.

The question "What's the best marriage habit you've formed so far?" stuck out to me, because I'm excited about so many of the habits we've created over our 56 months together. Can I even pick just one? You know I'm not good at picking a true favorite. (Favorite, to me, equals top ten.)

So here are my (ten) best marriage habits we've formed so far. Maybe they wouldn't work for everyone, but they work for us!

1. Getting up and going to bed at the same(ish) time.

This was a decision we made when we first got married, and we have kept it pretty well. We decided it's probably easier to fall into temptation (for whatever you want to fill in that blank with) if you're up alone while your spouse is sleeping, so we try not to do that. This is an interesting conundrum since Ryan's an early bird and I'm a night owl. He does usually get up just a few minutes before me to have time for devotions and prayer (and to make the coffee that gets me out of bed) and sometimes I'll read in bed or watch TV after he falls asleep, but we do our best to make sure our days officially start and end at the same time.

2. Having a time of devotions and prayer together every morning.

We didn't do this for the first part of our marriage, largely because our commute got in the way. (When you are not a morning person and have to be on the road by 6:45 in the morning, you keep your activities to a minimum.) But once I left my job, we started being very intentional about daily devotions and prayer. We really look forward to this every day! (We also have our own personal time alone with the Lord, but we are committed to praying and studying together, too.)

3. Spending quality time together daily.

Sometimes (especially when we're exhausted from crazy days) our "quality time" together involves watching old episodes of Shark Tank for a few hours, but we count it, because we're together doing something we enjoy! Whether we're talking, cooking, watching TV, going for a walk, grocery shopping, or working on house projects (!!!!) we find that we grow closer when we actually spend time together. (What a concept, right?)

4. Choosing to date intentionally and regularly.

I probably don't need to say much about this, because you see all our dates recapped right here on the blog. From county tours to alphabetical dates to random, impromptu nights out, we love our dates. I didn't date much before Ryan (even in the couple of relationships I had, we didn't actually go on many dates) so it's a privilege for me to actually go out and enjoy that special, exclusive time. (Bonus for all you guys reading: plan dates for your loves. It makes them feel special!)

5. Observing monthiversaries.

This absolutely may not be everyone's cup of tea, but we do love it. For us, these observations remind us of the blessing of one more month together. I know some couples, due to illness or tragedy, never made it as far as we have, and I do not take it for granted that we have been blessed to enjoy fifty-six beautiful months together.

6. Supporting our dreams, jobs, and interests. 

Oh my goodness. What a blessing Ryan has given me in supporting my writing and speaking, allowing me to work from home and hone my skills and talents. I am so grateful for his sacrifices so I can chase my dreams. But we both try so hard to support each other in work, interests, and dreams. I hope Ryan always knows I'm his biggest champion, and even though he may love pursuing things that terrify me, I want to be there front and center, taking pictures! :)

 7. Showing affection through words and actions.

And I don't even care if it's nauseating. We love to show affection, and we do it often. From simple gestures like holding hands or quick kisses to being consistent to say I love you often, we make sure we stay connected through affection! (Ryan will tell you that I am the most random "I love you" giver ever. We can be in the middle of a conversation and I'll pop up with "I LOVE YOU!!")

8. Trying not to be apart overnight.

For us, this has been really important. We've only been apart four times in almost five years, and those four times were four times too many. It's not that we're co-dependent or controlling. It's that we genuinely enjoy being a team and we don't fare so well when separated. (AKA I cry uncontrollably.) But we decided early on that we want to be together, not living separate lives with the same last name. So we do our best to limit the number of times we are apart. It keeps us accountable, and it keeps us focused on similar interests.

9. Documenting everything.

Again, I know for some it's probably overkill, but when I look at our shelf of scrapbooks, I'm just so happy! I love knowing those books are filled with the chronicles of our adventures. Preserved forever. If either of us ever get lost in dementia, we'll certainly have many stories to read about days when we lived the fullest out of every day - TOGETHER.

10. Leaving and cleaving.

True, we live close to both our families, and we are able to be part of things that happen in their lives. But we are both very aware of Scripture's admonition for husbands and wives to leave their families and cleave to each other. We have tried our best to do this well and to make sure we always hold each other in the highest priority. We are a family, and we are accountable before God for the way we handle our commitment to each other.

There you have it! Our top ten best marriage habits. These have worked for us, and like I said, even if they wouldn't work for your life, we hope you find something in them that inspires you to look for what will work and do that!