A Little Craft Project

A few days ago, I encountered this very cute {and seemingly simple} fall decoration, and I decided to try it. I hadn't yet switched up my mantel for the month of November - and I wanted to reuse as much of the October harvest-y stuff as I could, to save money. I did, however, want to add a thankful aspect to it, and this seemed the way to go!

I was at Hobby Lobby {ohhhh Hobby Lobby...how I love thee} last week and found these:

The little votive holders came in an 8 pack and were $6.99, but I used my 40% off coupon {the ONLY app I have on my phone for coupons is the HL app!} and ended up getting them for $4.19. I looked at all the acrylic paint colors and decided to stick with something really neutral, because I didn't want a bold look for this project. This color was called Linen and cost $1.37.

I was going to use the word "Thanks" like the example showed, but the pre-packaged votive holders gave me enough to use the word "grateful" and I liked that better, so I went with that.

I found a thick, bold font in Word {Cooper Black} and changed it to 110 size - and wrote out the word grateful in all lower case, leaving spaces between the letters to cut them out.

I cut out the letters and taped them inside. {The example showed cutting the letters out and painting inside the remaining square, which would have been admittedly easier, but I didn't want to cut by hand, and I don't have a Cricut or Silhouette machine, so I didn't have any other way to do it. My method was painting over the letters.}

And then I got to painting! We had small detail brushes leftover from our renovation palooza, so I used one from there...

Sometimes the paint didn't want to stick to the glass very well, but I didn't worry about it...there is always the option of the second coat!

My painting wasn't perfectly smooth, but I didn't worry about that either because it was my first try - and because I think things like this provide character.

I lined them up on the mantel and filled them with popcorn kernals {free - since we have a huge stash in our pantry!} so the whole thing was just a lovely, neutral, harvest themed decoration.

I love it.

Thankfulness, Day 15: It's okay to be thankful for the extra treats in life. Who in your life offers something that makes you feel better about yourself? It could be the person who cuts your hair...or does your nails...or gives you a massage...or makes your coffee every morning. They build you up every time they work for you...reach back with some thanks to them!!!

One Day...I WILL Love Snow Again

This week, we had our first snow. It wasn't huge...more than a dusting, but not enough to warrant a shovel. Just a thin blanket covering everything.

I happened to be grocery shopping when it started, so when I came out of the store, flakes flung against my cheek and melted in my mouth. I turned my head against the strong wind and wondered WHY that day, of all days, I'd gone to the store by myself. I think it's the third time in my married life Ryan and I have not shopped together. {He was busy installing lights in the bathroom.} I loaded the bags into the car, ran the cart across the lot to the corral, and scraped off the car. Because yes, it had come down quickly enough that in the half hour I spent in the store, I already had to scrape.

Here's the thing...I used to love snow. It's the writer in me. I love the beauty of white fluffiness piling up on the ground and blanketing the trees - especially evergreen trees. I couldn't wait to pull on my boots and wander into the yard with my camera to take pictures.

I loved curling up with coffee and a blanket and watching the snow fall outside the window. I especially loved falling asleep during a snowfall - my eyes growing heavy while I caught glimpses of fluttering flakes outside the bedroom.

And then I became a commuter.

My morning trek transformed from 2 minutes to an hour, and the distance between my house and my job was no longer walkable. In fact, it became largely interstate travel. And for those of you who don't live in Indiana, you can't possibly understand the apparent curse that falls over the section of I-69 between Fort Wayne and Indianapolis with each snowfall. And the armpit of that curse is Grant County. {That's where I live.} Accidents manifest out of nowhere on that stretch of road in the winter.

Snow moved from being a beautiful, magical inspiration that made me want to brew a new pot of coffee and curl up with my journal to being an enemy to defeat with each commute.

Last winter was worse than the one before, and on the snowy days, Ryan would tuck me into his four wheel drive car {I'd already be in tears from the fear of it all}, nestle my coffee cup into the cup holder, where I would proceed to leave it because I couldn't pry my hands from ten and two. I'd lean forward in the seat and press gingerly on the gas pedal, afraid to go too quickly and risk ditching his gorgeous car.

It took me double the time to get to and from work some days, and I'd arrive at my destination, heart pounding, mouth whispering prayers of thanks for another safe journey.

And the other night, as I grumbled my way through the parking lot at the store while the first flakes of the year flew down over me, I began to ache for the day when snow transforms away from being my enemy and back into being the magical wonderland I used to love.

I have no idea when God will allow us to move closer to work, but I am looking forward to the side blessing of getting to love snow again. Because despite its annoyances for the commuting world, it is truly one of God's most beautiful creations - at least in this writer girl's heart.

 Thankfulness, Day 14: Yesterday I had the most wonderful time hopping from blog to blog, learning much and finding myself encouraged by posts and comments. Blogging has been a huge part of my life since I began this little corner of the web, and I've made dear friends here. So today - I'm thanking a blogger (perhaps more than one!) who has impacted my life just by showing up on the internet and sharing life. I'm guessing if you're reading this, you like blogs too - so pick a blogger and let her/him know you're grateful!

We're Crazy

So yesterday morning, Ryan shook me awake and said, "It's 6:30."

It's six WHATY???

So with twenty minutes to spare before my commute began, I threw my hair in a ponytail, assembled an outfit of sorts, packed two lunches and put together a crock pot dinner for when we got home. I might have gone to work with questionable hair and without a face, but there was NO STINKING WAY I was about to miss a meal.

You know, when your day starts out that way, you just don't know what to expect from there forward. On the whole, the day wasn't bad. It had a few scary moments {enter my first attempt to color my hair since the orange hair disaster of 2006} and a few good moments {enter my ability to survive the last exercise in our workout when I thought about NOT surviving}.

But at the end of the day, my brain was indeed fried, so I'm sharing with you some truly random, truly Shafferish moments from our last week. We are a couple of gigantic goofballs. No other way to say it.


A few days ago, we went to an anniversary open house for some of Ryan's extended family, and it was held at a B&B kind of place.

We had to walk by these outhouses to get to the house, so I felt there was no other option but to have a photo opp.

 This is about as far as we go in starting rumors.

 And it is NOT TRUE. NO BABIES. Remember how I told you we overslept yesterday? When I left the house, in a snow-covered, low-30's morning, I wore my light jacket. No gloves. No hat. It never occurred to me. I told Ryan during our drive that if we had kids, I would be "that mom" among the teachers at school. "What in the WORLD was that Shaffer woman thinking? It is 30 degrees outside and she sent her kid to school in a windbreaker with NO hat and NO gloves."

I can't even parent myself.

What I can do is accidentally cut my bangs:

 What can I say? It was a Saturday afternoon and I needed a change. It seemed easier, faster, and cheaper than a tattoo. {Which I have no desire to get.}

Back to the B&B....Ryan found a tub.

 Oh man, how fun would it be to own THAT!!!!???

We also savored a sugar cream pie this weekend.

And by we, of course, I mean Ryan.

So that's us! Two giant goofballs who can't pass up a photo opp OR successfully hear alarms playing for two hours in the morning.

Please love us. :)

Thankfulness, Day 13: I am so thankful for my boss. Lynne is a sweet friend who makes working a pleasant thing...and I'm thankful for her. Maybe your boss could use a thanks today too - for whatever he or she does that makes you grateful. 

A Different Kind of Building

Last week, I posted some before/after pictures on Facebook...of all the work we've done on the house this year. Some of my friends had been reading my status updates about the construction and wanted to see it for themselves, so I posted the pictures.

Pictures of the kitchen.

And the dining room.

And the living room.

And the main bathroom.

And a "stay tuned" note for pictures of the second bathroom - the one we're working on now.

A few people made comments asking what in the world we were going to do with our time after we finished our renovations. Would we be able to survive without projects?

I told Ryan that when we got married and he moved in, I had no idea that our first year of marriage would be so saturated with renovations on my house. After all, the extent of my talent was repainting a room, and I'd already done that in most of the rooms.

But Ryan pulled out hammers and screwdrivers and saws and got to the bottom of things, and I helped along the way as much as I could. Sometimes that was from behind a camera lens, and sometimes it was real help - following his directions to actually change the house and make it a home.

We took a tired kitchen and built it into a cozy room where we love to cook together. We took a mismatched dining room and turned it into an inviting space to welcome guests. We took an outdated living room and made a darling place to curl up and live. We took a crowded bathroom and made it into an organized place to get ready and do laundry. And now we're taking a dated second bathroom and kicking it up a modern notch. We did that.

Together.

A husband and a wife building a marriage through the upgrades of a house. We made a house into a home and we cemented the foundation of a marriage with every room we overhauled.

It was exhausting work. For Ryan, it was sometimes maddening, back-breaking work. But the result was beautiful. It's a home that says, "Hey, the Shaffers live here. And they're proud of this place. They've poured their heart and sweat into making it theirs." It also says, "Hey, this is the marriage the Shaffers are building. It's where they learned teamwork and strengths and weaknesses. It's where they brought the best of their respective talents and meshed them to make a home."

If all goes well {and how we pray all does go well}, we'll have the renovations finished by our first anniversary, which is in about three weeks.

Then what?

We don't know. We're not sure what God has for us in this next year. But this we DO know. We're going to continue to build our marriage. Probably {hopefully} the second year of our marriage won't be marked in the largest part by home renovations. Hopefully we can put away Ryan's tool box for a few months. Hopefully we won't have one room serving as the storage area for all the renovation supplies.

But we'll still be building. Building in a new way. In whatever way God leads. I hope it involves getting to share our home with friends - inviting them in and building relationships together as a couple - with other couples and friends and families. I hope it involves writing together, building our story on paper {and screen}.

Because I think {and I'm obviously still very new at this} that the building of a good marriage, never stops. It just takes on new forms with each season.

Thankfulness, Day 12: I remember being a teenager and having someone affirm me in some way. It was AMAZING to know I mattered as a teenager. Do you have a teen in your life {your own kids excluded} that could use a "thanks for being in my life" today?

Dinners and Such

My mother is the consummate hostess.

You know those little things you remember about your childhood and you have no idea why you remember?

Mine came in the form of the Sunday nights when Mom and Dad would invite friends over after Sunday evening church. All the adults would be standing around talking, and the church emptied...and at last Mom would ask if those still chatting would like to come over for dinner.

Nothing fancy, she'd say. Just some snacky stuff.

And she always managed to have enough bread and meat...chips and dill pickles...slices of cheese and some sort of dessert goodness...and they would gather around the table, all the adults.

They would talk, late into the evening, and I would occupy myself in the other room with books and dolls. And I loved it. I loved knowing they were in there, enjoying our home. And I wanted to be just like my mom when I grew up.

The consummate hostess.

I wanted to invite people over and whip up a meal...nothing fancy...just some snacky stuff...

When I became an adult with my own house...I did it as much as I could. I invited people over and tried to make this home inviting and comfortable. A place where people would want to come.

Saturday evening, we had plans to get together with some friends of ours {friends I've come to know and love because they knew and loved Ryan!} - for lattes. We wanted to introduce them to our good friend, the apple pie chai.

And then Ryan called and said they were coming for dinner, too.

So I scurried to the store with hair undone to pick up a few things.

I tossed a salad and made my own croutons {because I feel like a better hostess with homemade croutons. It's the Marilyn in me}.

And I threw together some baked spaghetti...

I lit candles and turned on the fireplace and brewed a pot of coffee {because one can never be in the wrong with both coffee AND a trip for lattes} - and piled the chocolate chip cookies I baked that afternoon onto a silver platter.

...because when we got married, our fifth grade teacher gave us that platter and said every home needs a silver platter.

And we gathered around our tiny table, plates piled high from the food on the buffet...

And while their little guy sat in the next room playing games on his mom's phone - he had already eaten before - the four of us savored food and talked, laughed, and shared things of the heart.

It was just like I remembered.

Just one of those little childhood dreams that came true.

Thankfulness, Day 11: Oh how many times I needed to talk...and I needed a listener. Not an advice-giver. Not a lecturer. Not a judge. Just a listener. Today I'm thankful for listeners. And I'm going to thank one of them...maybe you've got a listener in your life too? Say thanks...

The Shafferland Shuffle

* Last Sunday, I woke up in the coughing stage of my cold. You need to understand that I am not like a normal person when I have a cold. When I get to the coughing days, it's literally all. I. do. So from the moment I woke up, until the moment I went to bed, I drank dozens of ounces of water, ate cough drops like candy, and drove myself nuts. And the only productive thing I did the entire day was make our lunch. Which was, if I might say, delicious.

* Monday, I was STILL in the coughing stage of my cold and drank three 32 ounce bottles of water within the first two hours of being up - and it didn't even touch the cough. I was ready to cut off my own head. Obviously there was no way I could go sit behind a microphone like that, so it was a sick day for me! I stayed home and alternated between resting and being a productive housewife. And when Ryan got home, I sat on the bed and wrote more of our story while he installed a new fan in my bathroom.

* Lynne encouraged me to take one more sick day to make sure I was good and well, so I stayed home again on Tuesday. I felt like such a bum! It made the third day in a row I hadn't set foot outside the house! By that night, though, I felt and sounded much better, so I ventured forth for dinner with Ryan's family, to celebrate his grandpa's 84th birthday! I went for the burger and fries, so that told me I really was wellish. It was the most I'd eaten in days and it tasted SO GOOD.

* I went back to work on Wednesday and we had a great show - so good to be part of that again! And after surviving a whole day of working {and no naps} I also survived a trip to the gym! I couldn't run like I wanted to - my lungs are obviously still not great, but I felt good about what we accomplished! Came home - and I worked on writing while Ryan...well...I'm not sure what he was doing. Oh wait. I remember. Bathroom renovation.

* Thursday was a mentally and emotionally draining day. Should have saved the five minutes it took me to put on my makeup that morning!! So when we went to the gym that night, Ryan went to do the normal weight routine and I just headed straight for the track to run/walk and clear my head. It was a good night - followed by a wee bit of retail therapy at TJ Maxx. Not a bad night after that!

* How are three day weeks the longest??? I was so glad for Friday to arrive, and I was ridiculously productive at work - surprising even my own self! We decided to move date night to Saturday so we could spend Friday evening taping and priming the bathroom. Or - let's just say we were channeling our inner Carl and Ellie {you know, from Up?} to be the newlywed renovators!

 * Yesterday, Ryan not only had to work, but he had to work longer than a full regular work day! I did all kinds of chores and painted the bathroom - and then we had an impromptu date night with our friends Mike and Angie. I threw together a quick Italian dinner and then we went out for apple pie chai drinks down at the IWU coffee shop. A GREAT night!

Thankfulness, Day 10: Since it's Sunday - why not thank a Sunday School teacher who made an impact on your life? Whether you go back to a teacher you had as a kid - or the teacher who leads your class every week now - say thanks! Teaching involves a lot of preparation and commitment and is often a thankless job. Make sure one of your teachers knows how much you have gained from his or her work!

The Saturday Six

One.

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Shut. The. Front. Door. I was blog hopping on my sick day this week and happened upon Jenna's list of four hundred and fifty stocking stuffer ideas. I think I'm going to just skip presents and stuff stockings ENTIRELY this year. How cool is this? She's done all the hard work!

Two.


I follow Sandi Patty on Twitter and this week, she posted this vintage video of hers. Oh my word. Welcome back to my childhood!! I memorized every one of her songs and sang them with much passion. {Yeah. I couldn't sing then either.} This was one of my faves. Sandi tends to wear fewer sequins these days and her hair isn't quite as fluffy {mine either!} but this song is still amazing. 

Three.

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Lynne interviewed Kyle Garberson from MudLOVE this week...and I gotta tell you. I think their products are pretty cool. I have one of their old-style mugs that Lynne placed on my desk as a gift when I first started working at WBCL. But they make these really cool bands too - with inspirational words on them. {You can even choose your own word!} 20% of their proceeds help bring clean water to Africa, so you can get great stuff and support a great cause all at once!

Four.

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Oh my goodness. Sort of completely in love with this party Mandy over at Biblical Homemaking had. A painting party at her house for a bunch of her friends. I know it's trendy to go to painting places {and I won't lie - that sounds fun to me, too!!} but this looks like such a fun at-home alternative. And no. I can't paint.  

Five.

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Susan, Susan, Susan. Dear, dear Susan from Between Naps on the Porch. You've done it again. BRILLIANT, subtle fall decorating that makes me want to hop in my car and come visit you. Like right now. It shall now be all I can do to be...ahem...good...when I go to the Hobby Lobby. To NOT buy one of each of the lovelies on your porch. Sigh of joy.

Six.

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Be still, my beating heart. My inner wannabe decorator cant' catch her breath. LOOK AT THIS. The office reveal from over at Thistlewood Farms.  I want to move in. And have KariAnne come teach me how to decorate. And really just kind of be her neighbor because she seems like a kindred spirit. Oh the books I could write in this inspired space....

Thankfulness, Day 9: It's great when God brings new people into our lives...new gifts to be enjoyed! But it's an equally amazing gift to have someone stay in your life from the beginning and continue to be as invested in you now as they were then. Who has been there from day one? Say thanks for that lifelong commitment!

Cleanup Work

Earlier this year, Ryan bought a couple of ferns for our pirogi. We managed to NOT kill them throughout the entire summer, and now that it's gotten...chilly...outside, we decided to bring them inside to see if we could keep them alive at least a bit longer. They may not last the winter, but they'll have a better shot than if we left them on their little pillars outside.

Last night, after a pretty rotten day for me and a pretty draining day for Ryan, we stopped by TJ Maxx to see if we could find little plant stands that would work for our ferns. We completely lucked out by finding two stands that we both fell in love with ON the spot - and the price was better than we expected!

We came home, placed the plant stands in their designated locations, and Ryan went out into the chilly night to bring in the ferns.

They were...a bit littered in leaves. They've been perched directly underneath the monstrosity of a tree in our backyard and it's just been making little deposits in our ferns for lo these many weeks.

While Ryan took a much-deserved nap last night, I settled in beside the plants with a grocery sack in hand and began to pluck out the dead leaves.

Every leaf I pulled out just revealed a new one underneath. I had no idea so many dead leaves could hide in one plant!

I finally got them all out - or at least most of them. The ones I could find. And at the end of the cleaning party, my work was rewarded with a clean, beautiful fern.

A football game played softly in the distant background, and Ryan slept, so I was alone with my thoughts as I pulled dead leaves from ferns. And in that silence, God got to me in the way He hasn't been able to in a while. {Busyness is a terrible thing for hearing the Voice of God.}

This week, I've really struggled with my attitude. I've had bad bouts with insecurity, discontentment, anger, hurt, you name it. I feel like as soon as I work through one thing - another one hits me in the face. It's discouraging. Oh yeah - and discouragement was another thing I dealt with. See what I mean?

And in those moments of plucking dead leaves, God reminded me that my heart really needed a similar cleaning. That I needed to pull away those dead, ugly, crispy things that make me less of a person than I know I can be. Should be. And He reminded me ever so gently that He's willing to do that work on me if I'll let Him.

Cleanup work isn't fun - but the result is so beautiful.

Please, my Jesus, pluck those dead, ugly things out of me. Make me the person You know I can be. Beautiful for You.

Thankfulness, Day 8: After Ryan read this blog post, he sang for me {which I love} the song Create in me a clean heart, Oh God...which made me just flat out thankful again for the gift of music. I listen to a whole lot of it every day and have had dozens of songs speak goodness into my heart. I bet you have, too. Say thanks to someone who brought music to your life. Whether you hop on Twitter and thank an artist or say thanks to someone who sings in your church every Sunday...say thanks to someone who brings music to you!

Strange Form of Thanks...

When I made up the list of people to thank throughout the month of November, I didn't just throw ideas on paper. I prayed for God to put things in my mind that I wouldn't ordinarily think of on my own.

And when this one dropped in my mind...I'm not gonna lie. I raised an eyebrow. Seriously, God?

Thank someone who hurt you.

I'm sorry...WHAT???????

Thank someone who hurt you.

It's been such a pleasant little week of thankfulness here in my heart...emailing my mentor from a couple of years ago, messaging my prayer warrior from the desert, taking cookies to our neighbors, sending a surprise, belated thank you to a college professor who extended grace to me, writing a card to three pretty great kiddos who have made my life richer, and emailing the granddaughter of a woman who was pivotal in my faith...and I can't thank her personally because she's enjoying Heaven.

What a joy to be able to offer encouragement to these people who invested in me. What a treat {though not the reason I did it} to hear back from some of them and learn that maybe I'd helped them without knowing it!

And then...thank someone who hurt you.

Not as much fun to think about, is it?

You know who came to mind when you read that. You remember the offense that left your heart aching, your eyes stinging with tears, your cheeks burning in humiliation. You remember wanting to become invisible. You remember feeling like nothing would ever be okay again. You remember wondering why he or she didn't seem to realize - or worse, care - that your heart broke because of careless words and actions. Perhaps purposeful words and actions.

Thank them?

Too hard.

But think again. What if you are who you are today because of that hurt?

What if it pushed you closer to Jesus?

What if it changed the path you walked and caused you to encounter a wonderful blessing?

What if it prepared you for another challenge later?

What if it allowed someone else to see you living out the Fruit of the Spirit?

What if that person did you the biggest favor ever...and you didn't even know it?

Today I'm choosing to thank a person who hurt me. Not out loud. I don't want to dredge up the hurt and make everything worse...again. Maybe in your case, the person doesn't even realize you were hurt and you don't want to create problems by mentioning it now. I'd call that wise. After all, no one likes to open an email to the tune of, "By the way, you don't know this, but eight years ago, you said something that devastated me and I've been struggling with my self-worth ever since...but thanks for saying it because God's been able to teach me some pretty great stuff as a result!"

But what if you just breathed a prayer of thanks for that person and the way God used the situation in your life? What if you said, "Hey God...thank you that the very thing they meant for evil, YOU ended up using for good?" What if you wrote a letter and burned it?

What if you let yourself be thankful for something that once crushed you?

What if you drove a stake of growth in your life because you said thanks for the hurt?

Thankfulness, Day 7: Say thanks today for someone who hurt you. Only you know the situation - and only you know if it's possible to say this thanks TO them. Don't do or say anything that dredges up pain. But in the intimacy of your time with God, say thanks for someone who hurt you. And say thanks for God's healing Hand.

GIVING Thanks

Okay, y'all.

It's not often that I mesh my blog post with my job for the day, but today is a day when I'm choosing to do that...because I am crazy excited about our Mid-Morning show today...and I'd love for you to be part of it.

And for me, it starts with a confession.

My mother is a volunteer extraordinaire. She loves to help organizations with their projects. Every week, she goes to the local Rescue Mission and works in their Christmas room, washing toys, sorting game pieces, and wrapping gifts that become part of their Christmas gift giveaways to struggling families. All year long, she helps them prepare for the next Christmas, and she loves it.

Me?

Not so much.

And I cannot tell you the absolute guilt that has washed over me so many times because I do not find joy in serving in that way. How did I not get the servanthood genes, when my mother has them in abundance? What is wrong with me?

Don't get me wrong...I do those things when I need to. When I'm part of a group that does a service project, I go, and I pitch in to do my part. But I always feel a little cheated, because I leave the day without a lot of feeling in my heart, while all my fellow servants half-skip back to their cars, delighting in what they've just done.

Am I dead inside? Seriously! What is wrong with me?

Lynne and I had a long, long discussion about this one day, when I poured out my confession to her, and in our conversation, I came to this conclusion: I live in a world that is serve-happy - in very specifically approved ways. And that is a good thing...except not every person feels called to serve in the same way. And for people like me, who feel called to give in ways that aren't currently trending as chic...well...guilt is piled high.

And so...we created the show we're doing today - about GIVING thanks. About searching through our hearts to find out what we're thankful for and then finding a way to give to others who might not have those things.

...like clean water.

...like clothing and bedding.

...like hope.

...like an intact home.

Today we're talking to people who put their efforts toward making sure other people have those things - and they offer ways for you to pitch in and help in ways that fit your gifts and abilities.Many ways. Many gifts and abilities. From donating time to donating money to spreading the word - you can help in the way that fits YOU.

So today...think about those things that you're amazingly thankful for. And think about those who might not have them. Then...what if you asked God to show you a way to reach out to those who have not? Not a pre-fabricated, expected-by-everyone-in-the-world way, but in a way that is meaningful to YOU and to GOD?

If you read this before 10 a.m., we would love for you to tune in and hear the show. If you catch this later, check out our archive page to hear some ideas for GIVING thanks!

Thankfulness, Day 6: Have you ever had a mentor? Even if you never met with a mentor in an official capacity, who in your life has served as a mentor...teaching you something about an area of life that has strengthened you to be the person you are today. They took time to pour into you...model behavior for you...and give you advice. Take a minute today to say THANK YOU and to let them know how their investment has paid off!

What We Did Right

On my last day as a single girl, I wrote this post to anyone waiting for love. And with my first anniversary looming in the not-too-distant future, I wanted to write a new post...to celebrate what went right in this first year of marriage.

Have we had a perfect year? Absolutely not. Have we messed up? You bet we have. Are we as crazy happy in love as we were here?

Even more so.

What We Did Right In Our First Year of Marriage
By Rebekah J. Shaffer

Go to Bed Together and Get Up Together. {We can say this because we don't work opposite shifts. I know this is genuinely not possible for some of you. But if at all possible....} I am the classic night owl. I love nothing more than staying up until two in the morning and sleeping until noon. Ryan adores mornings. Anything past seven is considered sleeping in dangerously late, and he's usually ready to call it quits around nine in the evening. We made the choice from day one that we'd go to bed and get up together. Always. Regardless. On those Saturdays when he has to work? I'm up at 5 with him. {Now. I may sneak a nap on the couch later, but I'm UP.} Those nights when I have one more scrapbook page aching to be created and he can't keep his eyes open? We go to bed and he snuggles beside me while I prop up and finish my work. This is a form of accountability for us - in making each other a priority, even on days when it's not entirely convenient.

Talk. Always Talk. We spend about eleven hours a day apart from each other, when you factor in work hours and commutes. Because of this, we've chosen to spend our commutes talking to each other. And throughout the day, we sneak in texts to one another as much as we can. I put a note in his lunch box every day and he surprises me now and then with one in mine.And sometimes, like one night last week, we just put aside everything we're supposed to do, and we talk. Deep, heart-to-heart, look-into-each-other's-eyes talking.

Date. We've set aside one day a week as date day, and we protect it with a vengeance. It gives us a way to say to each other that we value this relationship. Sometimes, of course, the day has to be claimed for something else, and when that happens, we make sure we reschedule for another day around it so we don't lose that time altogether. Too easy to start that bad habit.

Celebrate. I've been the butt of more than a few jokes for my insistence that we celebrate our anniversary every single month. Mom asked me the other day if I would be able to let that go after we cross the one year mark. Maybe, maybe not. I waited 34 years to get married and I'm not done celebrating that magnificent answer to prayer! If I want to continue my observance of it on a monthly basis, I'm not going to feel one bit bad about it. We love to celebrate - anniversaries, birthdays, National Pie Day - you name it! Hard to be mad or sad when you're celebrating - so celebrate!

Unite and Conquer. Ryan and I have vastly different gifts. I'm a writer, blogger, and scrapbooker. He's a handyman and exercise nut. It would be so easy for me to sit at home and write while he goes to the gym or works on things around the house that I can't do. And it would probably be easier for him to leave me behind while he plows through all his chores. But we don't do it that way. He changed his gym membership to one near our home so we can go together. And when he works on things I don't know how to do, I pull up my laptop and write while he plays with power tools.

Dream. I love it that Ryan isn't afraid to dream. And goodness knows, I'm the queen of dreams. I love the moments we spend together - imagining scenarios for our future and getting excited about the possibilities. Who knows!? Maybe some of those dreams will come true. Some, I'm sure, won't. But to have a partner in the dreaming...is a dream come true in itself.

Pray, pray, pray. Ryan is my biggest prayer warrior. I know all I have to do is say the word and he'll drop whatever he's doing to pray for me. Even if we're not in the same place. And I'd do the same for him. And while I love that, I also love praying together. I love the mornings that begin with prayer time - Ryan's arms wrapped around me and the two of us offering our hearts to God.

It's been a wild year - with tons of home renovations, lots of traveling {and then the commuting on top of it} and many, many changes. But I'm so glad we've invested so intentionally and I'm thankful to come through year one feeling like we did SOMETHING right! {A few somethings, even!}

Thankfulness, Day 5: Aren't you thankful for grace? Ryan extends it to me every day and I'm humbled that I get to love a husband who gives grace. And there are a few other people from along the path of my life who extended grace without limits. Because of them, I understand a bit better this amazing gift GOD offers to me. Who has been a grace-giver in your world? Pick one and thank him or her for one specific time when you learned a bit about the grace of God because of a tangible grace-offering in life.

Eleven Months: Convalescing Style

Who gets sick on an anniversary? THIS GIRL.

Who is not amused about being sick on an anniversary? THIS GIRL!!

I started coming down with a cold last Wednesday, and for the first several days, it was in that can't-breathe-and-fee-run-over-by-a-truck stage. So betrothing.

Our eleven month anniversary was Saturday, and I woke up with the faint smell of Vicks still wafting up from my chest, a slightly crusty nose....and when I spoke, I sounded like I had a clothespin on my nose.

I'm confident Ryan never wanted me more than he did in that moment.

And he proved it:

He got up, put together a little breakfast to bring to me in bed, and added a card and a box of DayQuil.

That, my dear friends, is love.

We had the laziest little day - though we did squeeze in a trip to the gym for a workout. We also started ripping apart the last room we plan to redo in our home renovations: my bathroom. It seems we like to pick our anniversary to begin doing home improvement projects.

In the afternoon, we headed out for our date!

We made it a true Shafferland date by including a trip to Menards as part of the day. {Had to get lighting for the bathroom renovation.} We had dinner at Olive Garden, which was quite yummy! AND we ended up getting free coffee! Happy anniversary to us!

By the end of the night, my feet were killing me and I'd completely lost my voice, but it was a great anniversary. Next one....THE BIG ONE!! One year!

Thankfulness, Day 4: Kids have a way of teaching us lots of things...in their innocent, trusting little way. Today, think of a kid {your own excluded} who has taught you something valuable - and take a moment to say thanks. I guarantee you will make a lasting impression by letting that sweet thing know that he or she has made an impression on you - a grown-up!

The Shafferland Shuffle

* Last Sunday, I was eager to have the day home alone with Ryan. We'd been gone so much and so busy over the weekend that there was no time to see each other! We took breakfast to Sunday School to share {whew - you girls know that initial food offering panic that hits a person when she's the newbie in a group, right?} and then after church, we curled up on the couch with chili and cornbread and just rested the whole afternoon. I scrapbooked and Ryan watched football and we enjoyed our hazelnut coffee candle...it was a good little Sunday.

* Monday morning, we had another fun bit of progress in the renovations at work....our soundproofing boards had been installed! They are so classy looking! Love them. That evening we had an impromptu dinner with my parents and their friends...and then it was back home for Ryan to work more on that bathroom!! He's been so ready to be done with that thing. Again.

* Tuesday evening, we headed back to the gym, where I had my weigh-in for the week. I lost .4 pounds - which put me right back where I was before the gain of last week. Essentially - no change from day one. I'm not gonna lie to you - it is so frustrating to spend so many hours in the gym and to cut back on the eating - and see no immediate changes. Ryan worked more on the tub and though he didn't get it done that night, it did start to look awfully promising!! 

* Wednesday I started coming down with something...I wasn't sure what, but it sent me home from work in the middle of the afternoon. I was a complete bum the rest of the night! I slept and rested on the couch, and Ryan fixed dinner and took such good care of me. I appreciate that man! My one bit of productivity for the night was this little Halloweenish manicure that I cranked out before bed:

* Thursday, I learned that the "something" I was coming down with was a cold. So by the end of the day, I was all snotty and clogged in the head. I hated that. Ryan {again} was a gem and let us change our gym days so I could rest at home. He brought me flowers and a treat! Salted caramel truffle ice cream. Feed a cold, baby!!! And thank you, Sweetheart, for being so wonderful to me. You are a treasure.

* Friday, Ryan found out he'd been awarded "Employee of the Quarter" {or if you're my mother, "Employee of the Corridor." HEY. I have a cold. I'm hard to understand.} at work. I am so proud of the man he is and the employee he is...always portraying a positive attitude to his co-workers and patients. Even on bad days. He had no idea it was coming and it was a great blessing to end our week!

* Yesterday was our 11 month anniversary. Can you believe THAT!? Eleven whole months! We spent the whole day together - and had a great time shopping and eating out last night. But you all are going to love how we started our day. Breakfast in bed, and this was delivered to me on the tray with the apple fritters and coffee:

 I am loved. :)

Thankfulness, Day 3: I love having neighbors. Probably stems from growing up in the country where there weren't too many of them! I've had friendly neighbors and not-so-friendly ones in my adult life, and I'm thankful for the ones who make living in a neighborhood...fun! Today - thank a neighbor, or a former neighbor, for being someone who made living in your home an extra special thing.

The Saturday Six

One.

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Given that the kitchen in our house is...ahem...cozy, I'm such a sucker for makeover posts about smaller kitchens. I prefer to call them intimate because it sounds so much better than "too small." So anyway. Found this one featured on Between Naps on the Porch. ADORE the brightness and all the details.

Two.

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In all the hundreds of 31 Days series over at Nester's blog - I found this one that had some really good posts in it. It's called 31 Days of Not Having It All. The blogger, Erin, gives permission to NOT...follow every fashion trend...be a runner...take perfect pictures...write a book...you get the idea. These things that we all feel like we have to do all the time...she gives permission to relax on them. If you feel pressure to measure up, check out her thoughts!

Three.

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So this one caught me off guard. Even though my married life has NOT included an abundance of southern gospel music, I do still love my Gaither Vocal Band. And this week...read that Mark Lowry and Michael English are leaving the group {again}. Sad news, as this is my favorite Vocal Band combo of all time - but thankful for the time these two guys were in the group!

Four.

I love it when God brings something full circle. This post is very brief, but so very God-saturated. Check it out. YAY GOD! {Sorry for no picture - can't use them off her site!!}

Five.

Came home to a beautiful surprise from Ryan this week. He bought me new wildflowers for my vase. My old ones had died...and he wanted to brighten my day after I got a cold and felt sorta yucky. He speaks my love language!

Six.

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I have read about 6 million blog posts written by pregnant women, and most are sort of sickeningly sweet. {In a good way.} This post is the most hilarious post I've ever read. I'd noticed she'd not posted for several months but also knew she was starting up a new business, so I figured it took over her life. Ummmmmmmmm no. But this reminds me of how I would write if I had to blog about pregnancy. {And that's not happening. So read hers for your fix.}

Thankfulness, Day 2: Today, think of someone who was pivotal in laying a foundation of faith for you. Whether that is someone you knew as a child or someone who built your faith up even after you were a believer, think about how he or she impacted you. Find a way to track him or her down {if the person has passed away - you could always pass the blessing to his or her kids!} and say thanks for that investment.

Starting Out Thankful

I told you a couple of days ago that I'm taking this "thankful challenge" throughout the month of November. I won't make it the focus of the post every day, but today I will. Just as a starting point.

Three years ago, during my desert, I survived on McChickens, lime chips, frappes and prayer.

Not kidding.

Wouldn't recommend the diet - though it's the only time I ever lost weight quickly! - but the prayer...the prayer....it created the most pivotal, life change INSIDE to match what was happening OUTSIDE.

I spent hours in prayer, and I know that went a long way in changing me, but I also had great friends who bathed me in prayer. All of them deserve kudos for walking so faithfully by my side in a season I'm sure they felt would never end.

But one in particular always stands out to me.

His name is Jason, and we met in college. Through the magic of Facebook, we'd reconnected, and he gathered from things I said in status updates that I was struggling. One day he sent me a private message, simply telling me he was praying for me.

And nearly every day after - for several weeks - I would open Facebook and find a message from him. Sometimes he sent song lyrics. Sometimes a verse. Sometimes words of encouragement. But he always reminded me he was praying for me. Most days I didn't have the strength to even hit reply, but it didn't stop him from writing again the next day so I would know he was praying.

He never knew what was wrong. Many weeks passed before I divulged the real issue at hand. But he was faithful to pray, and faithful to TELL me he was praying.

To this day, I know I got through that season because of the prayers of many people - but among them, the prayers of a friend named Jason.

He was my prayer warrior for that season. He was an instrument used by God to sustain me in brokenness on my journey to wholeness.

 So today I'm thankful for Jason...who carried me in prayer during the darkest days I've ever lived. Because of his faithfulness and God's work through him, my heart was kept safe and was able to heal to be ready for this life today!

Thankfulness, Day 1: Who has been a prayer warrior in your life? Maybe for a small season, maybe for a specific event...maybe from the moment your life began until now. How can you thank him or her today? You are here today and who you are today because of the prayers offered up. Reach back in thanks!!